The staffers pair up as faux couples to score a Valentine's Day discount at a mall. Erin tells Pete that she'll break up with Andy when he returns, but Pete has his doubts. Jim and Pam socialize with the documentary's soundman.
WAR
42.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Couples Discount” ranks #61 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.0 — Elite. The episode packs 50 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Dwight landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: I'd like to rat out Andy, but unfortunately I have a bit of a 'boy who cried wolf' dynamic with David Wallace. Except instead of a boy I'm a man, and instead of a wolf, I cried, 'genetically-engineered monster wolf.'
Dwight Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Meredith: Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That's me. Flesh hoover? Hi.
Meredith Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Stanley: Phyll, I'll pretend to be your husband. I'm already sick of you, so it'll seem realistic.
Stanley Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Erin: I mean, we just had our 20th anniversary. And I forgot to get him something.
Erin Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Andy: I mean, my parents lasted 30, 40 years. They were never happy at the same time.
Andy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 50 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Pete: Or it's like me getting on my hands and knees and begging my partners to switch a Tuesday for a Thursday. Alakazam.
Pete Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Pete: And poof, he disappears.
Pete Callback Setup/Punchline Callback Erin: Bam, Andy! How do ya like me now?
Erin Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Pete: You know, when I was a kid we had a dog who got real sick, and we had to send him to a farm. And on his last day, we did everything he loved.
Pete Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Dwight: Rink-a-dit doo, rika-doot-deet doo, rika-deet-doo.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy Dwight: I really like Andy these days. He's pretend, and he does exactly as I tell him to.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Dwight: Unless he comes back as pretend Dwight. In which case, we're in for an epic, confusing showdown.
Dwight Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Kevin: So, I guess it's good-bye, chunky lemon milk.
Kevin Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Clark: Yeah, let's get some booze and some cocaine and just blow it out, no consequences.
Clark Escalation Misdirection Phyllis: Or the mini-mall.
Phyllis Deadpan/Understatement Misdirection ★ Rewatch Phyllis: But I mean, if you don't have one of those, you can probably just bring whoever it is you use to kill your loneliness.
Phyllis Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Stanley: Phyll, I'll pretend to be your husband. I'm already sick of you, so it'll seem realistic.
Stanley Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phyllis: They use a watch repair kit.
Phyllis Visual Gag Absurdist ★ Rewatch Darryl: No. Yes. Yes. Why wouldn't I?
Darryl Reaction Beat Character Comedy Darryl: I wanna pretend to be gay. I got no problem with that.
Darryl Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Darryl: Stop talking about it. I said I'm fine with it.
Darryl Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Pam: Oh, my God, that's less romantic.
Pam Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement Nail Salon Worker: Your boyfriend. He look like a pretty girl.
Angela: And you know what? I think you are developing. We should go and get you a training bra.
Angela Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Clark: She's living a lie.
Clark Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Clark: Turns out I can't even be in a pretend relationship.
Clark Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Darryl: Oh, it works. Him and me, all right, we are crazy in love. More in love than your small mind can comprehend.
Darryl Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Darryl: And we have two disposable incomes and no kids, and we're taking our business elsewhere.
Darryl Observational Escalation ★ Rewatch Brian: We're splitting up.
Brian Misdirection Cringe/Discomfort Dwight: You're back. And you're disgusting.
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Angela: I guess I can cancel my order from zappos.com because, oh, the loafers have arrived.
Angela Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Erin: I am really, really bad at breakups. Technically, I'm still dating my first-grade boyfriend.
Erin Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Erin: I mean, we just had our 20th anniversary. And I forgot to get him something.
Erin Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Andy: It's called bembe. ♪ Yoruba yoruba aruba yoruba yoruba yoruba aruba raruba ♪
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Clark: Hey, burning man, if it's not selling out too much, you might wanna throw on a tie.
Clark Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Andy: It's in every bembe cafe.
Andy Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: At least my crying won't get you fired.
Pam Dark/Subversive Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Andy: Just say the word 'coolio.'
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Andy: that was not... how I had hoped that would go.
Andy Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Dwight: Two seconds of the turd dog, and he loses the biggest sale this branch has ever seen.
Dwight Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: All out. I mean like everything was out the whole week.
Dwight Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: He just waltzes back in here like he owns the chunky lemon milk.
Dwight Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: I'd like to rat out Andy, but unfortunately I have a bit of a 'boy who cried wolf' dynamic with David Wallace. Except instead of a boy I'm a man, and instead of a wolf, I cried, 'genetically-engineered monster wolf.'
Dwight Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Meredith: Meredith Palmer ain't never been called no narc. Floozy? Yes. Alkie? Check. Einstein sarcastically? You bet. But never no narc.
Meredith Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Meredith: Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That's me. Flesh hoover? Hi.
Meredith Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Andy · Oscar: ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ It's Andy.
Clark: Lit the whole thing on fire. It was crazy. The whole thing is in ashes. Fire department was here. It was in all the papers.
Clark: And, uh, Kathy Ireland signed on as the official spokesbabe of Dunder Mifflin.
Clark: Yeah, in the European billboards, she's gonna be topless.
Clark Escalation Absurdist Callback Andy: I am speaking metaphorically, of course. You know I have lots of irons in the 'fire.' Well, that's one of 'em, you know. Making sure that the warehouse logistics is a well-oiled, properly-stoked fire.
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pete: Really playing the scales, huh?
Pete Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Andy: I mean, my parents lasted 30, 40 years. They were never happy at the same time.
Andy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Andy: I know you may not be feeling love for me right now, but if you fake it, I won't be able to tell the difference. So I'll feel good.
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim: All right, put your dukes up, Beesly.
Jim Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch David Wallace: What was that about three months?
⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 16:00-17:00 range with Clark's overly long fake stories as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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