Ryan returns to Scranton with a plan to bring Dunder Mifflin into the digital age by launching a new website - Dunder Mifflin Infinity. Michael is worried about ageism and attempts to win back clients using old fashion business skills. Relationships are on the forefront as Ryan returns to an eager Kelly, Jim and Pam are outed to the office, and Angela is still upset with Dwight about her cat.
WAR
125.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Dunder Mifflin Infinity” ranks #35 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 91.4 — Elite. The episode packs 85 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.4 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: I'm gonna live for a very long time. My Grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My Grandpa Manheim is 103, and still puttering around down in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once, but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dwight · Angela: I heard a joke today. / Oh, that's funny. / Yes, it was.
Michael · Dwight: Make a right turn. / Wait, wait. No, no, no. It means bear right. / No. It said right. It said take a right. Up there. / No, no, no, look. It means go up to the right, bear right over the bridge and hook up with 307. / Make a right turn. / Maybe it's a shortcut, Dwight. / It said go to the right. / It can't mean that. / There's a lake there! I think it knows where it is going. / This is the lake! / The machine knows! / This is the lake! / Stop yelling at me!
Dwight: Then don't look in my eyes. Look right here. It's an old sales trick.
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Kelly: We have a date. [Kelly talking head, satisfied]
Kelly Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Standout Moments
Dwight: I'm gonna live for a very long time. My Grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My Grandpa Manheim is 103, and still puttering around down in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once, but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dwight · Angela: I heard a joke today. / Oh, that's funny. / Yes, it was.
Michael · Dwight: Make a right turn. / Wait, wait. No, no, no. It means bear right. / No. It said right. It said take a right. Up there. / No, no, no, look. It means go up to the right, bear right over the bridge and hook up with 307. / Make a right turn. / Maybe it's a shortcut, Dwight. / It said go to the right. / It can't mean that. / There's a lake there! I think it knows where it is going. / This is the lake! / The machine knows! / This is the lake! / Stop yelling at me!
All Jokes — 85 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael · Toby: Toby's memo about PDA — Michael immediately assumes it's about him and Jan, then reveals embarrassing details about their office encounter
Michael: Is this about me and Jan in my office? Because I will have you know that that was consensual. What we did has nothing to do with you or anyone here. I don't think anyone heard anything. We were very discreet and most people had left by that point.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: What I think you should do is roll up the memo real tight...
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Toby: For the record, I have never been involved with anyone at work in any capacity.
Toby Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Toby: All right, the complaint was about Jim and Pam.
Toby Misdirection Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Andy · Kevin · Phyllis: Tuna! Awesome! I knew it. To the two of you.
Michael: Everyone, this is a day that will live in infamy, because today is the day that Jim and Pam become one.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jim: Actually, we've been dating for a couple of months.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael: My heart soars with the eagle's nest.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Angela: I don't see it. I think they both could do better. It's not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress.
Angela Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Andy: Jim Halpert's off the market. Guess who just became the best-looking single guy in the office?
Andy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael · Jim: That's what she said. / 'Can you make that straighter?' / 'That job looks hard.' / 'You should put your mouth on that.' — How can you even use that one naturally? — Blowing up balloons, I thought.
Dwight · Angela: It's a feral barn cat. I trapped him last night and I'm giving him to you as a replacement cat for the one I destroyed. Her name was Sprinkles. And his name is Garbage. Mose calls him Garbage 'cause he likes to eat garbage.
Dwight: He killed an entire family of raccoons. Look at him.
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Toby: Oh, well, you know those are only for, you know, 'relationships.' So if this is just a casual thing, there's no need.
Toby Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Toby: Let's just wait and see what happens.
Toby Character Comedy Awkward Silence Callback Michael: He has facial hair. Look at him. All grown up and no place to go.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Hello, Mr. Sonny Crockett. I'm Tubbs.
Ryan · Michael: You're gonna have to treat me the same way you treated Jan. / That's a little kinky. I don't swing that way. / I think Ryan has a gay crush on me.
Michael: Ryan snapped at me. But there was this twinkle in his eye that I picked up on, which said, 'Dude, we're friends. I'm doing this for appearances.' ... 'And I miss you, man, and I love you.' His words.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight: What if we don't want to use a BlackBerry because they are stupid and pointless?
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Andy: You should call it Dunder Mifflinfinity. You know, push the words together.
Andy Character Comedy Absurdist Kelly: Kelly Kapoor? Can we speak privately about our relationship?
Kelly Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Stanley: ...Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners.
Stanley Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jim · Pam: Dwight and Angela — dating. Have been for six months. / No, they have been dating for, like, two years. Since before your barbecue.
Jim Pam Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Pam: We should have started dating, like, a long time ago.
Pam Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Toby: Oh, I didn't know you guys were in here. I couldn't see your hands.
Toby Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Toby: Hey, Pam, by the way, it's great that you're dating. But when a new client calls, you just have to randomly assign them to a salesperson. You can't base who gets new clients on who you're sleeping with that week.
Toby Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Jim: And that is why we waited so long to tell people.
Jim Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young and we called him my brother and that's what I thought he was. And then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia, taking all of my blue jeans with him. And I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like. A fake brother who steals your jeans.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Kelly: Good. A lot. Black guys, mostly.
Kelly Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Ryan · Kelly: I said no because I was committed to our relationship. / Well, I hope you're still committed, because I'm pregnant. And guess what, buddy? I am keeping it.
Kelly: We have a date. [Kelly talking head, satisfied]
Kelly Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Angela · Dwight: I've been thinking about things and I wanted to know if you would have dinner with me tonight. / Really? / Yes. / I'll make a reservation. / No, no. Let me cook for you. Cauliflower and noodles. Baked potato on the side. / I would prefer a public place.
Ryan · Jan: So, elephant in the room, I have your old job. / Well, not exactly my job. I mean, I had a different title. / Oh, well, excuse me. Same office, same responsibilities. Different salary. You'll get there. Don't worry.
Ryan Jan Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael · Jan: What is the actual deal with these things in terms of testicles? / What? / I don't want to grow weird sperm in case we ever want to have kids.
Jan · Michael: He's being a real twerp about it, too. It's all about youth and agility and streamlining and trying to squeeze out the older people. He's such a snake. / I hope he gets hit with an ageism suit.
Michael · Jan: So older people have just as many rights as younger people? / Yes, Michael. They do.
Creed · Michael: Creed? Everything okay? Everything's cool, dude. I'm 30. Well, in November, I'll be 30.
Michael: New ideas are fine, but they are also illegal because they are a form of ageism.
Michael · Creed: Why do we, as a society, hate old people so much? / Because they're lame.
Michael: In fact, many cultures revere old people because of their storytelling ability. Like the old lady from Titanic. Or the funny things that they can do, like 'Where's the Beef?'
Jim · Dwight: Why do you have the Big Picture up again? You used that already when you burned your foot. / Reusing the Ben Kingsley, too.
Jim Dwight Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Who is this old fart? Did you just stagger off the street out of a box or something? Who's this worthless bag of bones?
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Robert Dunder: And then Mifflin, of course he killed himself later, uh, but I knew Mifflin through the Rotary Club.
Robert Dunder: And he was at dinner with Beverly and her husband... What was his name? Jerry. Jerry Trupianno... I don't know. From South Jersey and he was tall. / Both he and Mifflin were tall guys.
Michael: Well, we have learned that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, because it's illegal. And you will go to jail.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Dwight: Then don't look in my eyes. Look right here. It's an old sales trick.
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight pleads: 'No, please don't do this, monkey.' — his pet name for Angela is 'monkey'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Michael: Ryan wants everything in our company to be about emails and IMs, but I think he is forgetting about the original instant message — letters attached to baskets of food.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight · Angela: I miss you. / Elevators.
Dwight · Angela: Fine. / Then I just want to be friends. / Good. / Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.
Ryan · Kelly: You lied about being pregnant. Right. So? / You really don't understand why that might make me kind of angry? / No. We're never getting back together. / Why not?
Ryan Kelly Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Jim · Pam: Is the magic gone? / It's funny you bring that up because, yes, it is. / I knew it! / I now find you repulsive. / That's honest.
Jim Pam Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Ever since I was a kid, people have been telling me that I can't do things. 'You can't be on the team.' 'You can't move on to second grade.' Well, now they're telling me I can't win back clients using old-fashioned business methods. We'll see about that. And FYI, I eventually aced second grade, and I was the biggest kid in class.
Michael · Phyllis: Gift baskets are the essence of class and fanciness. They are the ultimate present that a person can receive. / What about cash? With cash you can buy whatever you want, including a gift basket. So it's kind of the best gift ever.
Jim · Michael: What about a gift basket full of cash? / Yes. Cash basket. Nice work, Tuna.
Michael: I would like to see a website deliver baskets of food to people.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Ryan: Yes, Kelly is Indian. I understand that's confusing.
Ryan Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Dwight · Michael: Why do you use that thing? / It lets them know where you are at all times. / Who? / The government, spy satellites, private detectives, ex-girlfriends.
Ryan · Andy: Next night, I'm out at a bar, 2:00 a.m. I figure I'll get a sandwich, 'cause you can get a sandwich any time of the night. I run into Vince Vaughn. / No way. / Literally. / Dude, you are so money, but you don't even know it, but you do.
Andy · Jim: Jim, how awesome is Ryan now? / Yeah. He's definitely something. / What does that mean? / That whole lifestyle, his whole vibe, you find that appealing? / ...He smells like what I think Pierce Brosnan probably smells like.
Andy Jim Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Andy: Tuna, check you later. 'Cause he's so money that he doesn't even know it.
Andy Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Michael · Jim · Phyllis: How can they not know how much better we are? / I don't know. Sometimes people are just impossible and they make you miserable. That is true. Like Angela in accounting. / Yes. She is nuts.
Pam: Yeah, I'm going to do some mock-ups and then turn those into thumbnails, maybe do some splash frames... I don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm excited.
Dwight · Michael: Dwight tells Michael to accept the client is gone: 'He's moving on. We had our chance and we killed it.' — then Michael pivots to pitching the new website
Michael · Dwight: I threw everything I had at that guy and nothing. / That's how it goes sometimes, you know? You lose everything and everything falls apart and eventually you die and no one remembers you.
Dwight: Remain calm. I have trained for this. / Exit the window! Here we go.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight · Michael: You sure you're okay? / Fine. / Good. That is what's most important. / Did you get the rental insurance? Because that is pretty important, too, at a time like this.
Michael: Look at that. Still works. Old-fashioned cell phone.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Michael · Dwight: Michael and Dwight march back into the country club, dripping wet, to reclaim the gift basket: 'We're going to reclaim our gift basket. We're going to take what's rightfully ours. Take a stand, Dwight!'
Ryan · Pam: Ryan asks Pam to dinner after approving her logo designs — 'Wear something nice'
Ryan Pam Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jim: I guess he can't get any girl he wants.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Dwight: Michael and Dwight return dripping wet to the client's office to demand the gift basket back
Michael · Dwight · Country Club Employee: What's missing? The turtles. / Where are the turtles? / Where are the turtles? / I ate them, okay? I ate the turtles. They're gone.
Michael · Dwight: Excuse me, I have an announcement to make. We seem to be missing a box of chocolate turtles with pecans and we will not be leaving the premises until we obtain them. / Hand over the turtles now!
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael · Ryan: This office will not be using any new technology ever. / Starting now. / That is not correct.
Michael: I drove my car into a lake. / You did what? / I drove my car into a lake. / Why, you may ask, did I do this? / Well, because of a machine. A machine told me to drive into a lake. And I did it.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Michael: Game, set, match. / Point. Scott. Game over. / End of game.
Michael: And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Ryan: I'm not saying I had a meteoric rise, but I did. And if they knew how much I was paying for my haircut now, they wouldn't be giving me a noogie. It was $200.
Ryan Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Top Episodes — The Office
