Costume Contest

Unknown:Someone is wearing/using something that isn't theirs — 'That's not yours.'

Unknown:Someone drank something that wasn't their hot coffee and didn't realize it — 'Is there no limit to what he won't notice?'

Unknown:Crossword puzzle answer: 'Handbag' — 'What's a seven-letter word for [blank]? No, starts with an H.' / 'Handbag.'

Michael:Michael announces 'our branch on the planet Jupiter is up 8,000% in sales.'

Stanley:Stanley checks the clock mid-meeting: 'Hold up. That clock is slow. It is 5:00. I will see you all tomorrow.'

Kevin · Oscar:Kevin says his costume makes him look like Michael Moore.

Erin:Erin answers the phone: 'Dunder-Mifflin, this is Erin. Happy Halloween. How can I haunt you today?'

Erin:MacGruber SNL countdown interrupts Erin's talking head — 'Six seconds, MacGruber! / Two seconds, MacGruber! / Oh, boom! Ohh, explosion! MacGruber!'

Erin:The 2011 Scranton/Wilkes-Barre coupon book is revealed as the costume contest prize, 'worth over $15,000 in savings.'

Dwight:Dwight in a Scranton Strangler costume: 'If I was the real Scranton Strangler, you'd be so strangled by now.' Then: 'And if you're out there, strangler, you will get caught. By me.'

Unknown:Someone's talking head: 'Sounds like someone's really trying to convince us that he's not the Scranton Strangler.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight mistakes Pam's Olive Oyl costume for Dwight Schrute's mom: 'Looks like someone decided to dress up as ol' Dwight Schrute's mom.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight tells Pam she looks like 'ol' Dwight Schrute's mom' — 'You're only 1/3 as beautiful and about half her height.'

Jim · Pam:Pam explains that Jim refuses to wear his Popeye costume. Jim in talking head: 'I've never really been a costume guy. Even when I was a kid, it just felt like something I was too old for.'

Jim:Jim's talking head poker face reaction to Pam handing him the Popeye costume: 'In case you can't read my poker face...' — cut before he finishes.

Unknown · Gabe:Someone doing a MacGruber impression during what appears to be Gabe's policy presentation: 'I have ten seconds to explain them or this whole place blows up. MacGruber! Lame.'

Creed:Creed's witch joke: 'Why don't witches wear panties? Because they need to grip the broom.'

Unknown:The Dracula water-ski joke mangled in real time: 'Oh! Who likes to water-ski on Lake Erie? No, what... Where does Dracula like to water ski? Lake Erie.'

Andy · Gabe:Andy calls Gabe 'Gabe-wad' to his face.

Jim · Darryl:Jim recognizes Darryl's idea: 'That's like exactly sort of the idea that you had.' Darryl: 'Yes, I do remember saying something like that to you.'

Jim · Darryl:Jim apologizes to Darryl. Darryl: 'I'm just glad we're gonna try it out.' Jim: 'Really? We're good? We're cool.' Darryl: 'Okay.' Then Darryl notices: 'What's that in your shirt?' Jim: 'Oh, that's a ream of paper. Thought you might hit me.'

Oscar:Oscar debunks the coupon book prize: 'Everyone realizes this coupon book is not actually worth $15,000, right? You'd have to spend $200,000 on crap you don't even need to get $15,000 worth of benefits.'

Kelly:When colleagues agree with Oscar that the coupon book is a bad deal, Kelly shuts it down: 'Yeah, shut it, Oscar. Pam. This is an amazing prize.'

Dwight · Michael:Kevin is whispering with Gabe — Michael panics. Dwight: 'Probably about the extremes of the human physique.'

Michael · Kevin · Gabe:Michael confronts Kevin for going over his head — it turns out Kevin was just showing Gabe a Lady Gaga robot dance move.

Jim:Jim continues: 'We were basically Romeo and Juliet. Except where Juliet doesn't have that great a time, and Romeo doesn't call back after two dates.'

Ryan · Kelly:Gossip about Jim and Pam's reaction to Danny's party: 'Jim and Pam basically begged us not to go.' / 'Or you're dead.'

Michael:Michael says he'll never forget what Danny did to Pam: 'I forget nothing. I'm like an elephant in that way.' Then immediately fumbles an elephant metaphor.

Ryan · Kelly:Ryan and Kelly discuss not getting invited to parties: 'This sucks for Jim, right? But it also sucks for us, because we don't get invited to a ton of Halloween parties.'

Ryan · Kelly:Party guest list: 'Stanley, Phyllis, Angela, Darryl, Creed's a maybe.' / 'Creed's going?'

Michael · Darryl · Erin:Michael has Erin put Darryl on speakerphone — Darryl says 'I'm good' instead of coming out to the office.

Michael · Darryl:Michael to Darryl: 'You need to stop being so shy. Come out here and embrace who you really are, Superstar.'

Michael · Erin:Michael can't figure out how to use the speakerphone: 'Um, hit the speakerphone button. The speakerphone button? Same button as you hit before. Or sit on it.'

Darryl · Michael:Michael's big speech about screwing corporate — then Darryl cuts him off: 'Corporate stole nothing. Okay? Darryl brought this idea to me, and then I told them, giving Darryl full credit. So no need to screw corporate.'

Michael · Dwight:Michael's talking head: 'I'm a little peeved at Darryl right now. He went to Gabe behind your back.' Dwight: 'No, he didn't go behind my back, he went over my head.' Michael: 'He went over your head to go behind your back.'

Michael · Dwight:Michael: 'What is taking someone from behind?' — as an innocent follow-up to the corporate metaphors.

Michael:Michael: 'We need to strangle Darryl's idea.'

Kelly · Pam:Kelly changes her costume mid-day. Pam: 'Kelly! You cannot change costumes in the middle of the day!' / 'Pam, she's out.' / Kelly: 'Um, if I'm out, I'm gonna sue this entire company for discrimination!'

Oscar · Kelly:Oscar: 'Guys, you're arguing over a 1 in 16 chance. Over a prize worth... 40 bucks.' / Kelly: 'Um, 15,000 bucks, Oscar.'

Angela:Angela explains she's dressed as a nurse because they were sold out of other costumes: 'Look, they were sold out of all the other costumes, okay? Think we all live in the real world here. Let's not pretend to be unaware of what sells in this office.'

Michael · Darryl:Michael dressed as Darryl, confronting Darryl directly at the costume catwalk: 'Do you know who I am? Happy Halloween, jerk!'

Michael:Michael: 'This whole going-over-my-head-gate is making people act weird. Chain of command is crumbling. Do you know what just happened? I just made Kevin cry. And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga. That's not Halloween.'

Oscar:Oscar: 'I guess you could say I'm still in costume. I'm a rational consumer.' / 'Yeah, I heard you say it to Phyllis.' / 'That's a good line.'

Michael:Michael continues in his Darryl costume at the catwalk: 'Still don't know who I am? I'll give you a hint. I go over other people's heads.'

Gabe:Gabe does the Lady Gaga robot power-down move on the costume catwalk.

Oscar · Pam:Oscar walks the catwalk with a sign: 'The Rational Consumer' — and is presented by Pam: 'I present to you the Rational Consumer. As it were.'

Michael · Dwight · Darryl:Ouija board spells out 'A-S-S': Michael's question to the spirit world was whether Darryl is a bad friend, and the Ouija board begins spelling out a word. Michael reads: 'A... S... S...' then deflects: 'H... E... T. An asset. Aah!'

Michael · Dwight · Jim:Ouija board spells out 'A-S-S...' and the group debates whether it's going to spell 'asshat' — it spells 'asset.'

Jim · Danny:Jim asks Danny why he never called Pam back. Danny claims 'her fours looked like eights.' Jim: 'But you also called her the second time, so you had the number right.'

Danny · Jim:Danny: 'Halpert, you looking for someone to bang your wife?' Jim: 'Nope.'

Danny · Jim:Danny reveals he didn't call Pam back because 'she spent the whole date talking about you [Jim]. She was obviously in love with you.'

Danny · Jim · Pam:Danny reveals why he didn't call Pam back: 'I didn't call her back because she spent the whole date talking about you. She was obviously in love with you.'

Erin:Erin is bobbing for apples during the party scene — turns out she ate two whole apples: '57, 58. Wait, she hasn't moved in a while. Erin. Er... Two. I got two. I ate two whole apples.'

Danny · Pam:Danny's real reason for not calling Pam back: 'I didn't call you back 'cause I thought you seemed a little... dorky.'

Danny · Pam · Jim:Danny tells Pam the real reason he didn't call back: '...Dorky.' Beat. Pam: 'Now I know. You thought I was a little dorky.'

Pam:Pam's talking head after being called dorky: 'Well, excuse me.'

Michael · Darryl · Dwight · Gabe:Gabe's chain-of-command meeting devolves into an argument about a hat. Michael: 'We will put it in a hat and have Erin pick it out of the hat.' Darryl: 'I don't understand the point of the hat.' Michael: 'You're right. We don't need a hat.' Dwight: 'I am not budging on the hat issue.'

Michael · Darryl · Gabe:Gabe/Michael/Darryl chain of command negotiation ends with the hat proposal: 'We will put it in a hat and then we will have Erin pick it out of the hat and let her decide.' Darryl: 'I don't understand the point of the hat.' Michael: 'You're right, we don't need a hat.' Gabe: 'I am not budging on the hat issue.'

Michael:After Michael and Darryl's reconciliation: 'Friends fight. Friends fight.'

Andy:Andy's Cornell a cappella origin story: 'When I was a freshman in college, I worked at the student newspaper, the Cornell Daily Sun. This was at Cornell...'

Andy · Darryl:Andy: 'And that's actually when I heard eight male voices singing, unencumbered by instruments.' / Darryl: 'So is becoming CEO of this company your a cappella group?'

Jim:Jim's final talking head about Danny: 'To be honest, I still can't believe he didn't call her back. Who doesn't call a dork like that back?'

Jim · Pam:Jim in his Popeye costume: 'Spinach in a can. Powerful spinach. A-gah-gah-gah-gah.' Pam: 'Aw, my hero.'

Oscar · Pam:Oscar wins the costume contest. Oscar wins with his 'Rational Consumer' costume, beating out all the actual Halloween costumes.

Oscar:Oscar's talking head explaining his vote: 'If I have to vote for someone I don't want it to be someone who can be me. Shake things up. I'm an inner guy.'

Unknown:Final talking head: 'Best Edward James [Olmos] costume I've ever seen. Like freaky good.'