Michael cannot go through with his plan to break up Gob and Marta. A thug magician wants to take Gob's "legs". Maeby wears all leather to get back at her mother, and Lucille decides to confront Buster's relationship with Lucille 2.
Castle-storming plot carries 48 jokes across 22 minutes despite middling impact scores.
Directed by Greg Mottola · Written by Brad Copeland
WAR
110.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Storming The Castle” ranks #78 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 90.0 — Elite. The episode packs 87 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Narrator · Children: Real needle. Real apple. Real neck. Él es zombi!
Lucille: It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Shop Clerk · Tobias: May I help you? / I hope so. I'm looking for something that says 'Dad likes leather.' / Something that says 'leather daddy'? / Oh, is there such a thing?
Michael · Gob: I get absolutely nothing out of it. / Well, you get a false feeling of superiority. / I know. That is nice, but this time, it's not enough.
Michael Gob Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Gob: Wiggle those sexy gams, lady.
Gob Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 87 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael · George Michael: Michael doing 'a little fun' before work, which turns out to be cost-projection analysis for a mini-mall
George Michael · Michael: Wow. That's pretty cool you know how to do all that stuff. / Yeah. Well, maybe your old man is just a little bit cooler than you thought he was.
Michael: Stupid. Stupid chair. Very stupid chair.
Michael Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy George Michael: Yeah, but isn't that why Grandpa's in jail, because he took things from work?
Michael: Not stealing. Not. I'm the one that taught you stealing is bad, all right?
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy George Michael: Leather chair? So, you're against stealing, but skinning cows is cool with you.
Michael: I'm fine, by the way. Frankly, your concern is getting embarrassing.
Michael Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement George Michael · Michael: I'm not against the insides. People need meat to survive. You are aware they don't remove it from the cow surgically, right?
Narrator · Michael: Michael wished Marta was his girlfriend. A secret he had only shared with Lindsay.
Michael: Neither would I. What career? The magic? Oh, the tricks. The little tricks.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Narrator · Children: Real needle. Real apple. Real neck. Él es zombi!
Michael: Oh, sure. First you dump all over it, now you wanna know how it's done.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: He is staying here. I just haven't seen him here... the foyer or the kitchen.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: Tell her Gob is not staying here? Tell her Gob is screwing around on her? God knows where he is? Actually, that-that sounded okay.
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection George Michael · Michael: The noble one. The one who never wins. The loser. The fool.
Narrator: Lindsay had always been celebrated for her wine and cheese charity fund-raisers.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Narrator · Maeby · George Michael: George Michael had been trying to prove to Maeby that he was macho, after an embarrassing brush with her. 'Your legs look exactly like mine, and I just shaved mine.'
George Michael: I'm gonna need a leather jacket when I'm on my hog and need to go into a controlled slide.
Lindsay: But you have every day off. You don't have a job.
Lindsay Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Tobias · Narrator: Oh, no, no. I can't do that. / The next day, Michael was stopped on his way to work.
Rollo · Michael: Get in. / What? / If you care about your brother, you'll get in this car. / Which brother?
Rollo: Tell him Rollo wants him to say good-bye to his legs.
Rollo Misdirection Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Lucille · Michael: I'm so glad you're here. I want you to help me break up your brother and his girlfriend. / Well, I'm all for that. / He's locked on the balcony. / Oh. You meant Buster.
Narrator · Buster: Tension had been high between the two Lucilles since Buster had announced he'd been dating her. Although neither had addressed this, both had given indications of their true feelings. / Mom, you're ruining our fort.
Lucille · Michael: She changed him as a baby. / Okay. That's about the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
Michael: That's why she didn't look surprised.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Lucille: You're the only child who chose a spouse I liked, and she's the one who had to die.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lucille: It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Buster · Lucille: Where's my bed? / I put it in storage.
Buster: Okay. Before I leave this place for the last time ever...
Buster Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Buster: I saw him last night at the Playtime Pizza Theater. On my date. Of which I have another one tonight. And I'm going to continue dating, Mom.
Buster Character Comedy Escalation Michael · Buster: Sounds a little bit like 'dating Mom.' / It's starting to feel a little like it.
Narrator · George Sr. · Lucille: Unfortunately, after a recent escape attempt, George Sr. had been put in solitary confinement. [30 seconds of silence/solitary scene]
Gob: Even my own so-called girlfriend doesn't believe in me.
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Gob · Michael: A magician. / I think you're confusing scary with silly. This guy was frightening. He was in a limo.
Gob Michael Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Michael: He wants to take my legs. / I-I don't... / The legs... The bottom half of my saw-the-lady-in-half trick.
Gob Michael Misdirection Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Michael: No, not now. I'm showing him how to do the trick. / Two chicks curl up in a box. We call one the head and one the legs. / So that's how they do it. / God, I gotta stop giving these things away.
Gob · Michael: The old top half quit when she found out I was sleeping with the legs. / I guess word really gets around in there.
Gob: Would you give me a break, please? The legs are insanely jealous.
Gob Character Comedy Absurdist Michael · Gob: I get absolutely nothing out of it. / Well, you get a false feeling of superiority. / I know. That is nice, but this time, it's not enough.
Michael Gob Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael · George Michael · Gob: Why do I always have to be the one that has to set the good example for everyone? / Hey, guys. / Oh, that's why.
Tobias · Lindsay: You have to be some sort of she-hulk to get this. / You just gotta really dig.
Tobias: I got my hands on some money. I can't say how or when... or where my wedding ring is...
Tobias Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Shop Clerk · Tobias: May I help you? / I hope so. I'm looking for something that says 'Dad likes leather.' / Something that says 'leather daddy'? / Oh, is there such a thing?
Michael: He said that, huh? Said that he's working, huh? Wow. Here? What else did he say? Did he tell you I gave him your message? Not that I'm the messenger, you know?
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Marta · Michael: He said I was a treasure. / She's a treasure. And a once-in-a-lifetime woman.
Michael: Listen, Marta, Gob is... [long pause] ...a poet.
Michael Awkward Silence Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Gob: I appreciate your time.
Gob Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator: And so, for the first time, Michael set a plan in motion to take something that didn't belong to him.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael · Rollo: And you will get your legs back. / How? / You're asking me to reveal my trick?
Gob: Has she got big cans?
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lindsay · Michael: You're gonna put Marta onstage with the legs? / It's gonna blow up. Legs get upset. Marta gets upset. Marta leaves Gob, and I don't get shot.
George Michael · Lindsay: This stuff's kind of hot, isn't it? / I hadn't noticed.
Michael · George Michael: After Michael claims he's become a new, selfish man, the leather jacket appears to squeak/cause pain. George Michael: 'Did that hurt?' Michael: 'No.'
Tobias: Look at us. Who'd wanna mess with any of us, huh?
Tobias Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael · Tobias: Did you get a job or something? / No. No, I didn't. Unless you consider 'World's Coolest Daddy' a job.
Michael · George Michael: Yeah. I mean, we can't really change who we are anyway, right? / Wish you'd told me that before I threw away my Windbreaker.
George Michael · Michael: Oh, you bought a chair. / Uh, no, actually, I borrowed it. Like we talked about. / Well, I thought we decided that was like stealing. / Is that where we landed on that?
Narrator: As Michael was becoming more selfish, his father was choosing a more pious path.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Lucille: Why is there a piece of shoe on your head?
Lucille Setup/Punchline Character Comedy George Sr.: This is a... Well, it's a reminder that the divine presence is always above me.
Lucille: Well, more importantly, Buster's been humping the widow Austero.
Lucille Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Lucille · George Sr.: He stays there sometimes until 7:00, 8:00 at night. Peanut brittle on his breath. Is she the one who's going to take him to the dentist? / She already has.
George Sr. · Buster · Lucille: 'May you live. May you be well. I give you my blessing.' / Wow! Really? / Are you out of your mind?
George Sr.: Can you get me some of that peanut brittle?
George Sr. Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Michael: Where's the top half? / I have to teach her this trick. She's gotta fold her knees. / It's a fantastic trick. I don't want you to worry though. I've already told her.
Gob Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Cabdriver · Tobias: Where to, mate? / The Gothic Castle. / Gothic Asshole? / That's what I said.
Narrator · Tobias: And ended up in the wrong location. / Oh, I am glad I didn't go with that outfit. / Yes, hello. I am looking for the magic. / Danke schön.
Lucille 2 · Lucille: Hello, Lucille. / Hello, Lucille. Having a good time with my son?
Lucille · Lucille 2: You know, he's damaged goods. He was born with a hole in his heart. / Now listen to me, Lucille. I'm gonna fill that hole, 'cause we're in love.
Lucille: You're no more in love with him than I am.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Buster: Okay. We're all saying some things we're going to regret.
Buster Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Gob · Michael: Listen, I got you something... for being such a good guy... not that it's a surprise, you always are. / Oh, well, uh... / My watch. / I want you to have it. / Well, you've stolen so many things from me over the years. This is the first time you've ever given something back.
Michael · George Michael: Where's the leather jacket? / It's like you said... you can't change who you are. So what? So I don't have any hair on my arms or legs. So what?
Marta · Michael: You'd better tell Gob, the legs aren't coming. / Oh, my God. / I can't believe the legs would screw him like this. This is his one last chance. They'll never let him in the Alliance again. / You have to do something. This is so important to me and Gob.
Michael: Where am I gonna get a pair of beautiful women's legs on such short notice?
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Narrator · Michael · Gob: So, the trick went forward as planned. / [Gob performs the trick; Michael is curled up in the box as 'the legs']
Gob: Wiggle those sexy gams, lady.
Gob Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: I'm okay with myself. I'm okay with myself.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Gob: Mom, did you see it? I'm back in. I've got the career back.
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Narrator: And when Lucille noticed how happy Marta had made Gob, she realized how important love was to her children.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Lucille: I was wondering if you'd like to play bridge with me next week?
Lucille Misdirection Character Comedy Buster: Could you just... just separate?
Buster Reaction Beat Character Comedy Narrator: Michael watched as the brother he swore to stop helping enjoyed the girlfriend he helped him reunite with.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Michael: This really worked better with the chair.
Michael Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Rollo: That was just my girlfriend and my nephew. / Well, you're out.
Gob Rollo Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Callback Narrator · Tobias: And Tobias gets some good news. / I got a gig.
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