Buster realizes that medical marijuana will help cure Lucille 2's vertigo, and pays George Michael to get it for him from Gob. Lindsay sends Maeby to spend a day with Lucille to punish her for bad grades. Michael thinks George Michael is on drugs and attempts to teach him a lesson.
Methodical character comedy builds to dark turn—67 jokes in 24 minutes sustains high velocity.
Directed by Joe Russo · Written by Mitchell Hurwitz, Jim Vallely
WAR
132
Wins Above Replacement
“Pier Pressure” ranks #25 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 96.5 — Elite. The episode packs 83 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.7 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Michael Bluth landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
J. Walter Weatherman · Narrator: J. Walter Weatherman's arm comes off on the dock: 'Oh, my God! My arm! Oh, my God! This guy's arm just came off and landed on the dock.'
Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Michael to George Michael: 'I should learn to talk with you a little bit more, huh?' 'I think we're okay.' 'We are, aren't we?' 'You know there's nothing you can't be totally honest with me about. You can say anything to me, anything at all.' George Michael: 'Like, say, I had a crush on my own cousin.'
George Bluth Sr. · J. Walter Weatherman: J. Walter Weatherman's arm 'falls off' with fake blood, and George Sr. delivers: 'And that's why you always leave a note.'
Michael Bluth: After George Michael's cousin confession, Michael just says: 'Hey.' — and the scene ends.
George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth: Michael asks George Sr. (in prison) to help set up a fake drug bust with J. Walter Weatherman. George Sr.: 'He's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner running.'
All Jokes — 83 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Michael Bluth was talking to his son about his latest test. 'A-minus, huh?' 'Proud of me?' 'Very proud... minus.'
Narrator · George Michael Bluth: George Michael's grade card reads 'C-minus' and the narrator spells it out: 'C' M-I-N-E-S
Michael Bluth · Maeby Fünke: 'Did you even study?' 'No, I didn't.' 'Wow. How impressive is that?'
Lindsay Fünke · Michael Bluth: Lindsay defends Maeby's C-plus; Michael corrects 'C-plus' to 'C-minus.' This mirrors the A-minus correction from the opening.
Michael Bluth · Narrator · George Bluth Sr. · J. Walter Weatherman: 'You're as bad as Dad with his ridiculous lessons.' — followed immediately by a flashback of George Sr. staging an elaborate J. Walter Weatherman scenario.
George Bluth Sr. · J. Walter Weatherman: J. Walter Weatherman flashback: 'Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?' / 'We're out of milk.' / 'I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note.'
George Bluth Sr. · J. Walter Weatherman: J. Walter Weatherman's arm 'falls off' with fake blood, and George Sr. delivers: 'And that's why you always leave a note.'
Michael Bluth · Lindsay Fünke: 'Those lessons worked, didn't they? We still leave notes to this day.' / 'Oh, that's what that was about. I thought he was trying to get us off dairy.'
Michael Bluth · Tobias Fünke: Tobias arrives asking for a favor from Michael. Michael's response: 'What happened to, "Hello. I need a favor"?'
Tobias Fünke: Tobias reveals he used to work for 'Hot Cops,' a stripping agency, while wearing a cop uniform.
Tobias Fünke: 'I might have been just a little too believable.' — followed by flashback of police pounding on a door and a woman screaming.
Gob: Flashback: 'Police! Open up!' [dramatic door-breaking] — implying Gob actually raided a home while working as a stripper
Gob Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael Bluth · Tobias Fünke: Michael: 'I'm gonna give you the cash, but, in return, I get to ask you for a favor sometime.' Tobias: 'My gut is telling me "No," but my gut is also very hungry.'
Michael · Gob: 'I'm not an A.T.M.' 'I keep forgetting how hilarious you are.'
Michael Bluth · Lucille Bluth: Lucille greets Michael and says she needs a favor. Michael: 'We ought to put that on our family crest.'
Lucille Bluth · Michael Bluth: Lucille: 'They want me to prove no new purchases have been made with company money.' Michael: 'And there haven't been, right?' Lucille: 'Not after we doctor all these receipts.'
Michael Bluth: Michael: 'I've got a job. I gotta make some money so you can buy more things and destroy the evidence.'
Narrator · Buster Bluth: Narrator: 'Buster's girlfriend, Lucille Austero, suffers from chronic vertigo... which she has been trying to fight without the use of medication.'
Buster Bluth: Buster: 'Her nausea's gotten really bad. It's really been difficult on us.' / 'I did refer to it as our nausea. But you know, that's when we were going at it really hot and heavy.'
Buster Bluth: Michael: 'Well, now it's my nausea.' — correcting himself after slipping back into 'our.'
Lindsay Fünke · Lucille Bluth: Lindsay: 'Maybe I don't feel like being criticized around-the-clock.' Lucille: 'I don't criticize you. And if you're worried about criticism... sometimes a diet is the best defense.'
Maeby Fünke · Lucille Bluth: Maeby: 'Either way, it's above a "D," right?' Lucille: 'Another world-beater.'
Maeby Fünke: Maeby asks if 'Lindsay' is spelled with an 'A' or an 'E' — while signing her own mother's name to a report card.
Lindsay Fünke: Lindsay: 'Okay, I know you got a "crocodile" in spelling, but this has gone too far.'
Lindsay Fünke · Maeby Fünke: Lindsay attempts to punish Maeby: 'You are now punished. I punish thee.' / 'Are you serious?' / 'What could you possibly come up with that would punish me?' / 'Oh, I have to come up with another thing?'
Lindsay Fünke · Maeby Fünke: Lindsay punishes Maeby by sending her to work for Lucille. Maeby reacts with extreme horror ('No! No!' screaming), then Lindsay smiles having found her punishment.
Lindsay · Maeby: Lindsay's punishment for Maeby: working for Gangy (Lucille). Maeby's horrified reaction.
Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Michael notices George Michael's eyes are red and worries he's on drugs — but the actual reason is stress from over-studying.
Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Michael tells George Michael to close his textbook and relax. George Michael slowly, agonizingly, cannot bring himself to remove his finger from the book. Michael has to coach him beat by beat.
Narrator · Buster Bluth: Narrator: Buster 'remembered a study he took part in on medical marijuana and its effects on nausea. The subject took the drug in the form of a T.H.C. pill. Nausea was then induced with a day at the carnival... which is what attracted Buster to the experiment in the first place.'
Narrator · Buster Bluth: Narrator: 'Buster was found two days later trying to eat his way through this enormous plaster donut.'
Narrator · George Michael Bluth · Buster Bluth: George Michael is introduced as 'the toughest, most streetwise kid' Buster knows — then shown at a banana stand in a paper hat.
Buster Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Buster: 'You work here. This place is pot central, right?' — referring to the Bluth's Original Frozen Banana stand.
Narrator: Narrator explains the banana stand's history as a '70s marijuana meeting spot 'because of the banana's resemblance to a yellow marijuana cigarette.' Then: a jingle — '♪ Big yellow joint, the big yellow joint / I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint ♪'
Buster Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Buster asks George Michael to relay a drug request to Gob 'but you can't tell him it's for me' because 'he always makes fun of me for dating Lucille.' George Michael: 'Everybody does.' Buster: 'That's horrible.'
Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: George Michael tells Buster he 'can't tell him it's for you.' Then Michael shows up and scolds George Michael for being at work when he told him to take the day off — then tells him to go be young and hands him $20.
Buster Bluth: Buster adds $225 to George Michael's 'go crazy' money to fund the drug buy, immediately launching into '♪ Big yellow joint ♪' again.
Lucille Bluth · Maeby Fünke: Maeby is working with Lucille cataloging valuables. Lucille shows a photo 'from when your Pop-Pop yelled out, "Oh, Melanie..." when he was making love to Gangy.'
Lucille Bluth · Maeby Fünke: Lucille offers Maeby a brooch that Lindsay always wanted, noting 'it's an elephant and I didn't want to invite the comparison.'
Lucille Bluth · Maeby Fünke: Lucille to Maeby, after giving her the brooch: 'Oh, Pretty. It'll distract from the freckles.'
Narrator · George Michael Bluth: George Michael leaves a note on the yacht for Gob because 'as he'd been trained to do since childhood, [he] left a note.'
Gob Bluth · Michael Bluth: Gob shows Michael the note George Michael left. '$200.' '$100.' '100. I accidentally said 200. I don't know...'
Gob Bluth: Gob about the $100 drug money: 'Really, a hundred dollars. You can't get good weed for a hundred bucks.'
Gob Bluth Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Gob Bluth · Michael Bluth: Gob then hands Michael a bag of marijuana: 'Anyway, here you go. Now we are even on you paying off that Hot Cops thing.'
Michael Bluth: Michael hears about the A-minus and immediately suspects drug use: 'He's been stressed, his eyes have been red, his grades are dropping. Heard about the A-minus.'
Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Michael confronts George Michael: 'Your Uncle Gob seems to think he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you?' / 'No, no. Maybe it was the other George Michael... the singer-songwriter.' / 'Yeah, that makes sense.'
Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Michael: 'What did you do with the money Buster and I gave you?' George Michael: 'I put that in my savings account.' Michael: 'Is that right?' George Michael: 'Yeah. Save up.' Michael: 'Okay. Thanks for being honest.'
Michael Bluth: Michael's talking-head: 'He's lying to me. Can you believe that? Where the hell is this family's morality?'
Michael Bluth · Buster Bluth · George Bluth Sr.: Michael and Buster discuss whether to yell at George Michael. Buster says: 'Didn't Dad teach us that we don't yell in this family?' — immediately cut to a flashback of George Sr. in a speedboat, unable to hear the warning not to hit the gas.
George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth: The boat flashback ends: 'That's why you don't yell.' / 'Yeah, yelling's not a good way to go.'
George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth: Michael asks George Sr. (in prison) to help set up a fake drug bust with J. Walter Weatherman. George Sr.: 'He's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner running.'
George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth: Michael explains his plan for a fake drug bust 'down by the docks.' George Sr.: 'Tonight? No. It's Yontif. It's the first night of Yom Kippur.'
Michael Bluth · George Bluth Sr.: Michael: 'Dad, that's just one night, and it's back in September.' George Sr.: 'That's okay. You've only been a Jew about two days.'
George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth: George Sr. checks the time: 'What time is it? Oh, almost sundown. I have to prepare for the Sabbath.' Michael: 'It's Tuesday.' George Sr.: 'Shh, shh, shh.'
Lindsay Fünke: Lindsay: 'That was supposed to be for me. She was my au pair. I'm the one who cleared my throat and pointed to the laundry room.'
Lucille Bluth · Maeby Fünke · Lindsay Fünke: Lindsay tries to lure Maeby away from Lucille with ice cream. Lucille: 'That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.'
Gob Bluth: Gob's response to being asked to use Hot Cops for a fake drug bust: 'Michael, these guys are real dancers. They've never done any hot policing.'
Gob Bluth Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael Bluth: Michael: 'They don't even need to be hot. They just need to show up in those uniforms.'
Buster Bluth: Buster on the phone, pacing: 'I am like a caged animal. My old lady's on the floor, man. I am not s-ing around.'
Michael Bluth · Gob Bluth: Michael's planning conversation with Gob: 'I want him scared. I love this kid.' / 'These guys are pros. They're gonna push the tension to the last possible moment before they strip.' / 'They're not going to strip, are they?' / 'I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.'
Buster Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Buster: 'I really appreciate you doing this for me. You're making a very miserable person happy.' George Michael: 'She really feels awful, huh?' Buster: 'Oh. Oh, I was talking about me.'
Gob Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Gob greets George Michael at the yacht: 'You weren't followed, were you?' — full drug-deal mode for a family transaction involving weed and a one-armed man.
Gob Bluth: Gob: 'All right, kid. Let's deal some drugs.'
Gob Bluth Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Gob Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Gob flashes his boat lights to signal the dealer: 'Flashing the lights... so the dealer knows what's goin' down.' George Michael: 'Now we wait.' Gob: 'How long?' George Michael: 'Who knows? An hour. Maybe five.'
Hot Cop: The drug 'dealer' arrives immediately after 'who knows, an hour, maybe five' — screaming 'Drug delivery!'
Gob Bluth · Michael Bluth · Hot Cop/Derek: The drug dealer (Hot Cop) starts to take his shirt off. Gob: 'Oh, my God.' Michael (from hiding): 'Nice, right?' Gob: 'Okay, you can put your shirt down, Derek. Just give him the stuff.'
Hot Cops · Gob Bluth · George Michael Bluth: The fake cop arrives: 'Police officers! Freeze!' / 'What? Oh, no! It's the cops!' / 'And a construction worker.' / 'Let's get this party started.'
Michael Bluth · Hot Cop: Michael: 'Aren't you guys gonna cuff him?' Hot Cop: 'You wanted handcuffs?'
Michael · Hot Cop: 'Aren't you guys gonna cuff him?' 'You wanted handcuffs?'
Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Michael reveals the bust to George Michael: 'George Michael, I hope you learned your lesson, pal.' / 'Okay.' / [beat] 'Okay, all right. Thank you. Thank you.'
George Michael Bluth: George Michael finally confesses the drugs weren't for him: 'Okay, it was for me. I was gonna smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.'
Michael Bluth · Buster Bluth: Buster emerges from the shadows and admits the drugs were for him and his sick girlfriend. Michael: 'Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon.'
Buster Bluth · Michael Bluth · J. Walter Weatherman: Buster reacts to Michael's 'she's gonna be gone soon' by shouting 'Oh, that's it!' and then hitting Michael — and immediately the J. Walter Weatherman arm comes off.
Michael: 'It is unbelievable that you'd ask my son to score you pot.' [Michael confronting Buster while himself having just run an elaborate fake drug bust using strippers]
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Real Drug Dealer · Gob: Actual drug dealers arrive: 'Hey, what are you guys doin'?' 'We got your signal. You flashed the lights. We got the drugs. You got the money?'
J. Walter Weatherman · Narrator: J. Walter Weatherman's arm comes off on the dock: 'Oh, my God! My arm! Oh, my God! This guy's arm just came off and landed on the dock.'
Michael Bluth · George Bluth Sr.: Michael confronts George Sr.: 'So you taught me a lesson not to teach lessons?' George Sr.: 'It was my last lesson.'
Maeby Fünke · Lindsay Fünke: Maeby returns home and tells Lindsay: 'I'm glad you're my mom.' Lindsay is moved. Maeby then gives Lindsay the brooch 'You deserve it. I can't believe you had to put up with her your whole life.' Lindsay: 'Honey, this is so sweet.' / 'Let's celebrate and go shopping.'
Maeby Fünke: Maeby reveals she knew the Hot Cops bust was staged: 'One of the Hot Cops is my choir teacher.'
Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth: Michael to George Michael: 'I should learn to talk with you a little bit more, huh?' 'I think we're okay.' 'We are, aren't we?' 'You know there's nothing you can't be totally honest with me about. You can say anything to me, anything at all.' George Michael: 'Like, say, I had a crush on my own cousin.'
Michael Bluth: After George Michael's cousin confession, Michael just says: 'Hey.' — and the scene ends.
George Michael Bluth · Michael Bluth: George Michael tells Michael: 'You just taught me a lesson.' Michael: 'Oh.'
Narrator: '♪ Big yellow joint, the big yellow joint / I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint ♪' — plays over the final scene as Michael and George Michael stand awkwardly.
Narrator Callback Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — Arrested Development
