Driven by Frank's insight into the world of politics, Dennis pursues a political career by running for office.
WAR
52
Wins Above Replacement
“The Gang Runs for Office” ranks #120 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.0 — Great. The episode packs 68 scored jokes at 2.4 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Mac landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Mac · FBI Agent: Are you soliciting a bribe from me? Sorry, pal. That's politics.
Dennis: Hello, fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I am hot.
Dennis Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac · Mother: If you give me the baby, I could get it over with. - I said no! - Goddamn it! Just give me the baby!
Police Officer: Apparently, you called him a nerd, Mac. - Some people don't take kindly to that type of insult.
Dennis: Taxes. They'll be lower, son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, Philadelphia. So do.
Dennis Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 68 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Charlie · Mac · Dennis: These things are hilarious. - These are priceless. - What are you guys lookin'at? - Uh, Garbage Pail Kids. - Heavin' Steven.
Dee · Charlie: Are those those stupid cards where babies are doing disgusting things? Uh, no. They're the amazing cards where babies are doing hysterical things.
Charlie: No. These are, like, an investment. This is my future here, so don't mess with them.
Mac: We are getting blasted in the ass by the state liquor tax.
Mac Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Mac: Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who's gonna blast me in the ass... or the Republican who's blasting my ass? Politics is just one big ass blast.
Mac Escalation Wordplay/Pun Mac: It is a coast-to-coast, nationwide ass blast.
Mac: I mean, you have to be a real low-life piece of shit... to get involved in politics.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac · Charlie: South Philly, Zone 2, District 37 Comptroller. - Nice. What's a comptroller?
Mac: Take a look at that hair... Kennedy hair. Note the bone structure. It's like a young J.F.K.
Mac Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Mac · Charlie: You got something funky goin' on in the forehead area. - Five head.
Dennis: Deandra, a woman in politics is like a donkey doing calculus.
Dennis Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Dee · Dennis: Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. - Awful. - How is she awful? - Hates freedom.
Mac: It's too late. I already have the clipboard.
Mac Absurdist Character Comedy Frank · Mac · Charlie: What does an intern do? - Cut limes. - Stock glasses. - Serve drinks.
Mac: You are way too old. Politics is a young man's game.
Mac Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Charlie · Dennis: Everybody who's in favor of firing Mac as campaign manager... raise their hand. - The people have spoken. You're out.
Mac: That's politics? That's politics? This is wonderful. This is just wonderful. You know what? I'm walkin' outta here. I don't need this shit. I'm washin' my hands of the whole situation. Show you, bitches.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation Dee: Full of hoboes, Dennis. A lot of hoboes.
Dee Observational Deadpan/Understatement Frank: This is a brilliant idea... 'hobo-vertising.'
Frank Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Charlie · Dennis: You gotta be shakin' hands. You gotta be kissin' babies. - I don't like babies.
Dennis · Frank: Take him down. - This is a goddamn coup!
Dennis: Don't take it personally, Dad. That's just politics.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Frank: You look like a dick in that tiny jacket.
Frank Character Comedy Visual Gag Callback Frank: We'll get this bribe... and we'll shove it right in your brother's face.
Frank Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dee · Frank: Let me get this straight. You want to try and solicit a bribe? - The bangs, they... The five head.
Dee Frank Character Comedy Visual Gag Callback Frank · Union Rep · Mac: You know, like, in the movies, union guys are, like, tough and shady and shit. - Sorry to disappoint you. - You're, like, a couple of nerds.
Mac: Oh. I see what you're doin'. Okay. Nobody here is a criminal. No, sir.
Mac Character Comedy Absurdist Mac: We're being listened to. Bugged. The feds. I get it. I read. I see movies. I understand.
Mac Character Comedy Absurdist Union Rep 1 · Union Rep 2: I've got a better idea. Let's screw this son of a bitch. - He called us nerds, Gary. - Nerds.
Dennis: Absolutely. I say we put 'em on busses, ship 'em over to Iraq... make 'em fight the terrorists.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist Mac · Mother: I was wondering if you wouldn't mind... if that handsome young gentleman over there kissed it. - Excuse me? - Oh. I'm sorry. He's running for District 37 Comptroller, so it's cool.
Mac · Mother: If you give me the baby, I could get it over with. - I said no! - Goddamn it! Just give me the baby!
Dee · Frank: I think I look like a whore. - I'm trying to make you sexy. - This is not sexy. - What is this? What's this? - It's the bed look. The tossled look. The ruffled look. You look like you just got...
Dee Frank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Frank: Now, Daddy hates to say this, but... I think we should talk about the breasts.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Mac: 'Oh, don't hurt my baby.' Like I'm gonna hurt somebody's baby. You know what I mean? Goddamn Dennis. Fire me?
Mac Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Marvin · Mac: I'll probably stab you in your throat. - Jesus Christ! Stab me in my throat?
Gary · Morris: Who's the nerd now, bitch? - That was fun. I feel like a gangster. - Shut up, Gary.
Mac · Dennis: I didn't wanna say this before, but you don't have Kennedy hair. - All right! Oh, God! - You don't have the jawline.
Charlie · Dennis: We're gonna shoot a commercial, get it on public access, get the message out. - It's a million-dollar bill pal.
Dennis · Charlie · Mac: I could be a legitimate politician. - Really do some good in Philadelphia. - You've never done any good for anybody ever! - You're just jealous!
Mac · Charlie: Did you just lock this door? - Yes, I did. - That's politics, bitch.
Dennis · Charlie: Dude, you and my dad share this futon? - No. No, we... No, we got a whole different situation worked out.
Dennis · Charlie: I can't read these words. They're not in the right order. - I think you might be dyslexic.
Dennis: Hello, fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I am hot.
Dennis Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: Taxes. They'll be lower, son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, Philadelphia. So do.
Dennis Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Frank: Check out the goods to my right. This pretty little lady is not only my daughter. She happens to be your biggest opponent in the election.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Frank: Beauty and the beast.
Frank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack Stanford · Frank: Are you trying to solicit a bribe from me? - I don't know. Am I?
Jack Stanford: but you're doing it with the subtlety of a baboon.
Frank · Dee: my little girl don't go nowhere without her old man. - You're fired.
Frank Dee Character Comedy Escalation Callback Frank: When Dennis Reynolds was a counselor at Camp Cumberland... he was sent home for the statutory rape of a teenage camper.
Frank Dark/Subversive Escalation Frank: Dennis Reynolds... baby rapist. Don't let him rape you, Philadelphia.
Frank Dark/Subversive Absurdist Dennis: Rape? I was accused of... Okay, statutory, first of all. Not... I kissed her. She was a year younger than me.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation Charlie: You clearly have a learning disability, dude.
Charlie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Charlie · Frank: Not gonna happen. I want that tape. - I'm gonna need you to beg. - You gotta beg.
Frank: Charlie traded me his whole collection... of Garbage Pail Kids for the tape.
Frank Character Comedy Escalation Callback Frank: That is politics, bitch.
Frank Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Wife: Who's the slut? - Another one of your whores? Who do you think you are... Bill Clinton? You're a comptroller.
Wife Character Comedy Escalation Dennis: Oh, yeah. I googled 'comptroller.' Turns out that this guy's really just a glorified accountant.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Charlie · Dennis: I traded all my Garbage Pail Kids for you. - Well, that was stupid.
Dee · Frank: Bit of an overreaction, don't you think? - You look like a whore.
Dee Frank Character Comedy Escalation Callback Mac · Charlie: I need to make Dennis disappear. - Ah! Ah! That's what I'm talkin' about. - Really? - I was thinkin' that same thing, man.
Mac: Retard. I'm talking about taking Dennis to Atlantic City... for a couple of days until the election is over.
Mac Misdirection Character Comedy Charlie: If we used piano wire on him for a sec... As long as we hurt him a little bit...
Charlie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Callback Police Officer: Apparently, you called him a nerd, Mac. - Some people don't take kindly to that type of insult.
Police Officer: They're gonna tear through you like Kleenex.
Mac · Police Officer: Are you soliciting a bribe from me? - Sorry, pal. That's politics.
Mac · FBI Agent: Are you soliciting a bribe from me? Sorry, pal. That's politics.
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