Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender

Charlie · Frank:Charlie attempting to break the world record for holding breath while Frank ignores burning food to watch

Charlie · Frank:Charlie gasping 'I gotta breathe, man' and Frank yelling 'No, Charlie, don't breathe! One more minute!'

Frank:Frank lamenting 'We could have been famous' after Charlie starts breathing

Mac:Mac immediately asking if they let his dad out when hearing about prison releases

Mac:Mac's shocked reaction: 'Holy shit! This dude looks just like Dennis'

Dennis:Dennis analyzing facial features: 'His jaw is fat and goes this far back. I never go that far back. When I do, it doesn't do that'

Mac:Mac predicting: 'I give you six to eight months before you start looking exactly like that guy'

Mac's Dad:Mac's dad describing drug smuggling: 'I had my butt filled like a Christmas stocking'

Dennis:Dennis's panicked defense: 'I'm not a sexual child molester. I'm Dennis Reynolds. I'm handsome and chiseled'

Dennis:Dennis telling Dee that Mac's dad will forget about her 'as soon as he comes across [a woman] that's actually attractive... just like every other man does'

Random People · Dennis:Random people on the street yelling 'Pervert! Dickhead!' at Dennis

Frank:Frank announcing he's leaving Charlie: 'I got to get something more out of my life'

Frank:Frank's response: 'That's right. A maid. A maid I can bang'

Charlie · Frank:Charlie promising Frank won't find a bang maid 'cause there's no such thing' and Frank responding 'I already did. Your mom'

Mac's Dad:Mac's dad euphemistically describing violence: 'just keeping up with my correspondence... there was a bit of a struggle, but it turned out just fine'

Mac · Mac's Dad:'Is it the yellow one to the black one, or is there orange involved?' 'Red. Red. Just red.'

Dee:Dee positioning herself to parents as working 'with a program that assimilates convicted child molesters right back into your neighborhood'

Dennis:Dennis shirtless telling kids to look closely at his body and notice how his 'pecs are popping'

Dennis:Dennis telling kids 'Don't be afraid to stick your ass out. That's not embarrassing. It's a good thing'

Mac:Mac's plan involving getting people drunk: 'if we get your dad drunk enough, he's gonna be able to see past your mother's looks... past her skin, all that eczema and shit'

Mac:Mac describing his mother: 'she gets so belligerent and mean when she's drunk... she's gonna drive Frank right back into my arms'

Charlie:Charlie questioning why Mac is using jars for boxed wine: 'Seems to me like it'd be easier to steal the box than jars of liquid'

Mac:Mac's frustrated response: 'Where were you 10 minutes ago when I was coming up with this plan, man?'

Dee:Dee threatening to tell Mac's dad that Dennis is available and 'asking about him'

Charlie · Mac:Charlie claiming 'I took a crap in yours' and Mac frantically clarifying 'Charlie did not crap into anybody's food'

Mac:Mac trying to set up his parents: 'I don't know if you've taken any time out of your dinner to notice her ample breasts'

Charlie:Charlie calling his mother 'one hell of a whore of a man-stealing woman!'

Charlie:Charlie promoting Luther: 'he happens to be a very successful drug dealer... beautiful blue eyes that just pop right out of his head... The man doesn't blink'

Charlie:Charlie's emotional breakdown: 'This is about dudes living together, hanging out, sharing their bed and their life... This is about happy boys!'

Dennis · Wendell:Dennis and the real Wendell comparing faces: 'We got the same eyes, same nose, same lips... It's all in here is the same'

Wendell:Wendell explaining his situation: 'You're out there looking like me, taking all my heat while I'm in here watching the Disney channel all day long. Why the hell would I move?'

Timmy:The child's rehearsed testimony: 'He gives me juice boxes that make me sleepy... He's a tickle monster... He makes me taste things I don't want to. He puts things in my heinie'

Charlie:Charlie's panicked reasoning: 'You don't eat someone 'cause they don't have heroin in their ass!'

Police Officer:The revelation that Luther was 'making amends with all the people he wronged' instead of killing them

Police Officer:Luther being arrested for buying tickets 'To Cooperstown, New York... Said he was gonna take some guy named Mac and some guy named Charlie'

Luther:Luther's final threat: 'No, I wasn't gonna kill you. But I'm going to now... As soon as I get out, I'm gonna kill you'