When a trendy new hair salon opens up right next door to Paddy's, Dennis and Frank go on the offensive to stop women from cutting off their hair. Meanwhile, Mac is reunited with his childhood dog Poppins..
WAR
62.8
Wins Above Replacement
“A Woman's Right to Chop” ranks #4 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 89.2 — Elite. The episode packs 43 scored jokes at 1.4 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.4 on impact, with Mac landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Mac: Well, you got to kill those babies, then.
Charlie: What? Dude, what the hell? I thought you were all pro-life and everything.
Mac: I am, but this is different. This affects me.
Mac Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Frank: There it is.
Dee: There what is, Frank?
Frank: That's my old hair. He's given it a good home.
Frank Dee Visual Gag Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Dennis: I've-I've forced my sister into a back-alley chop.
Dennis Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Z: Nah, she ain't got to worry about that. I groomed that shit off a border collie.
Z Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Frank: I come by time to time to check it out, see how it's doing. Don't-don't say anything, because I don't want to make it feel bad.
Frank Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 43 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Mac: I thought that was, like, a little comedy hat or something. That's their actual hair...
Mac Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Mac: Poppins comes and goes as he pleases 'cause that's his right as a male. Women are never gonna get that.
Mac Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dee: If I want to have a baby and then abandon that baby, I have the right to do that.
Dee Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Dennis: making themselves no longer sexually attractive to me, and that upsets the natural balance of things
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Mac: I want to jump-start Poppins's system. You know? But it's not working. Maybe if I do it longer?
Mac Absurdist Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Charlie: You blast him with the air horn, a-and that might wake him up. Oh, and maybe I'll scream into the other ear.
Mac: If it's not, could you say it in that really funny Arnold Schwarzenegger voice that's, like, so funny? 'It's not a tumor.'
Mac Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: Wait. Poppins is a girl?
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac: Oh, nah, I-I could never get underneath that hind leg to check. You don't want to try to get under Poppins.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation Mac: one time I tried to give him a belly scratch and he bit my thumbnail clean off
Mac Escalation Physical/Slapstick Mac: I can't believe that Poppins is gonna be a father. A mother. What? A mother? He is?
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac: we don't really do gender at our bar anymore.
Charlie: Yeah. Like, gender's so, like, old school.
Mac: Well, you got to kill those babies, then.
Charlie: What? Dude, what the hell? I thought you were all pro-life and everything.
Mac: I am, but this is different. This affects me.
Mac Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: did you know that hair only grows about six inches over the course of an entire year?
Dennis: With this one tragic decision, Keri Russell alienated all of her fans, she got her show canceled, and she was never heard of ever again.
Woman: Yeah, but Keri Russell works all the time.
Dennis: Yeah, now, does she still play women? Probably in a cape or something.
Dennis Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Dee: You don't get a monkey cut like that unless you're broken inside.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee: Go full baboon, girl. I support you.
Dee Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dennis: men should have some say in what women do with their hair? I mean, for Christ's sakes, we're the ones that have to look at it all day!
Dennis Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Charlie: what we'd like you to do is kill the dog puppies, if you could.
Mac: Hey. Don't-don't say 'kill,' though. Uh, sorry, murder them, if possible?
Mac: Yes, hi. Yes, we need you to perform this dog abortion, and if you don't, my dog is gonna die. And he-he-he's not gonna be able to survive... Yes, I'm aware that a boy dog can't have puppies.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Callback Mac: Look, there was a transition at some point, all right? He had a sex change. We see past gender at our bar.
Mac Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Mac: Frankie. Take it easy, buddy. Your valve's getting all worked up. Hey, your valve's acting up... You know what? Here, here... eat some cat food.
Dee: You seriously want to buy me a car as long as I don't cut my hair?
Dee Escalation Character Comedy Dennis: I was like Samson. I had hair down to my butt crack. I looked like a Greek god.
Dee: You look like a bridge troll.
Dennis: I needed the money and I read an ad for a toupee company that said they would give good money for real hair, so I bought in.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Frank: There it is.
Dee: There what is, Frank?
Frank: That's my old hair. He's given it a good home.
Frank Dee Visual Gag Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: I come by time to time to check it out, see how it's doing. Don't-don't say anything, because I don't want to make it feel bad.
Frank Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Z: Bitch, you don't think I'm a doctor? I was a medic in Desert Storm. I did Doctors Without Borders, I saved mad lives. See, you racist. That's what the problem is.
Z Misdirection Character Comedy Z: Bitch, I'm just playing with you. I ain't no motherfucking doctor.
Mac: Oh!
Charlie: Are you serious?
Poke around in one of them trash cans, try to find an Allen wrench.
Z Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mac: I was wondering why I didn't have to pop this dog's eye back in its socket. That dog has a very solid eye.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac: He came back to take care of his family. He did. He likes to take... Oh, no, he did not. He did not. There he goes. He wanted the blanket.
Dennis: Sometimes I find it very arousing, tears, but this time, I wasn't... I-I wasn't coming in-in that zone.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: I thought you were gonna say that you only cut women's hair, and I was gonna claim discrimination to get you shut... it doesn't matter.
Dennis Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Dennis: From a genetic standpoint, I mean, her hair is just as much mine as it is hers, you know what I mean?
Dennis Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Salon Worker: I'm crying because my dog is lost, asshole.
Dennis: What's your dog look like?
Mac: there's no doggy paternity test to actually prove that they were Poppy's puppies in the first place.
Mac Character Comedy Absurdist Dee: I ended up having to do it all by myself! That's right! Listen, it looks... terrible. So bad. I mean, really, really bad.
Dennis: I've-I've forced my sister into a back-alley chop.
Dennis Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Charlie: I don't care about any of this, really...
Mac: I don't care that much, either...
Dennis: Yeah, I guess I don't really care that much, either.
Dee: Why did you guys make such a big deal about it, then?
Dennis: Well, uh, you know, that's, like, a guy thing. 'cause we're used to being in charge
Z: Nah, she ain't got to worry about that. I groomed that shit off a border collie.
Z Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
