Byron 'Buster' Bluth

Buster:Hasn't everything already sort of been discovered, though... by, like, Magellan and Cortés? Those guys did a pretty good job...

Buster:Mom says it's too windy.

Buster:Obviously this blue part here is the land.

Buster:Eighteenth-century agrarian business. But I guess it's all the same principles.

Buster:We need ice. Michael. We need Michael.

Michael · Buster:This is not going to be a day at the beach. That's cool. Mom packed me a change of clothes.

Buster:Yeah. Mom's awesome.

Buster:Maybe we should call her.

Buster:Here I go again.

Buster:Mom told me to stay away from microwaves.

Buster:this is gonna be... the most bitchingly fast bike in all of Orange County.

Buster:Yeah. And you might be eating... Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Buster:I'm Mom, and I wanna shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself.

Buster · Lucille:'Cause I'm an uptight... Buster! You old horny slut!

Buster · Michael:I'm flying! Buster?

Buster:Michael. I wanna go with Mom.

Buster:I was trying to fit in.

Buster:but a little too close to the sun.

Buster:Front seat, Mom. I sit in the front seat now. Mmm?

Buster · Lucille:Mom! What is it? I can't get down.

Buster:¿Cómo estoy?

Buster:I know she's a brownish area with points.

Buster:You just grab that... that brownish area by its points... and you don't let go, no matter what your mom says.

Buster:Has your hair... always been that pointy, Miss Austero?

Buster:Let's go for it.

Narrator · Buster:Buster had been avoiding Lucille Austero since he accidentally flirted with her while not wearing his glasses

Narrator · Buster:And then accidentally entered her apartment, thinking it was his mother's

Lucille 2 · Buster:Yes. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. - No. Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.

Lucille 2 · Buster:You and I. Is it 'I' or is it 'me'? - Buster, it's us. - Yes. It is us. Us.

Buster:It was a wild, wild ride.

Buster:My God, for the first time in years I felt like I was standing on solid ground.

Buster:I just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.

Buster:Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.

Buster:Nothing. Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.

Narrator · Buster:Buster had been avoiding Lucille Austero since he accidentally flirted with her while not wearing his glasses. And then accidentally bid on her at a charity bachelorette auction. And then accidentally entered her apartment, thinking it was his mother's.

Buster · Lucille Austero:Ten thousand dollars! Buster.

Buster:I've already got a Lucille in my life.

Lucille 2 · Buster:Buster, it's us. Yes. It is us. Us.

Buster:It was a wild, wild ride.

Buster:I just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.

Buster:Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.

Buster:Sounds a little bit like 'dating Mom.'

Buster:You guys are friends again. You can play bridge together.

Buster:Could you just... just separate?

Buster:I thought he was trying to get us off dairy.

Buster:I did refer to it as our nausea.

Buster:Well, now it's my nausea.

Buster:Our. I mean, our... our nausea.

Buster:I could put it on a tea biscuit, tell her it's a marshmallow.

Buster:This place is pot central, right?

Buster:Here. Take 225 from me.

Buster:I am like a caged animal. My old lady's on the floor, man.

Buster:Oh. Oh, I was talking about me. But, yeah, she's a mess.

Buster · Michael:Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?

Narrator · Buster:Buster so excelled at being neither seen nor heard that he remained at the school undetected for a full two semesters after he was supposed to graduate.

Buster · Michael:[Chuckling] Don't forget my girlfriend. That's who I meant.

Buster:Yeah. I never want to look at Mom again.

Buster:Do you know she tried to set up my girlfriend with a man?

Buster · Lucille:I'm a man, Mike! I'm a man. Can I throw out this yogurt?

Buster:No, Mother! I can blow myself.

Buster:I thought you had class. My brother-in-law fires you... And you move in on my girlfriend?

Buster:I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting.

Buster:I've been dating an old lady.

Buster · Marta:Yo te quiero mucho. Yo te quiero mucho. Te amo, Marta. Te amo.

Buster:Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.

Buster:Yeah, I know.

Buster:Hey, rich kid. Gimme your lunch money.

Buster:I want to dance. I want to make love to a woman. I want to get a checking account. I want to know what it feels like to get my face socked in.

Buster:I'm not here.

Gob · Buster:Hermano means brother? Yeah. Well, sounds like hermano is about to get his ass kicked.

Buster:Stop it before someone gets hit in the face!

Buster:Hit me in the face! Hit me in the face! Hit me in the face! Please! Hit me in the face!

Buster:That's what it feels like to get punched in the face.

Michael · Buster · Narrator:Michael was sharing his bed for the first time in years. Unfortunately, it was with his younger brother, Buster.

Buster:That's exactly what I'll do.

Buster:Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob?

Gob · Buster · Michael:The guy's like the world's biggest chicken. I'm not a chicken. Yeah, he's not a chicken. He just doesn't like confined spaces, that's all. No, it's both.

Buster:One of the guys told me to take my head out of my bottom and get back to work. My bottom!

Construction Worker · Michael · Buster:Hey, pick up the pace, douche bag! Michael! You too, candy ass! 'Candy ass.'

Buster · Construction Worker:You got paid? I thought we were all making sacrifices. Yeah, well, maybe it's time for some of those big shots at the Bluth Company... to start making some sacrifices.

Buster · Gob:My whole life you've called me a chicken, but that's over now. I have nothing to prove. That is not how a chicken sounds. Chickens don't clap!

Buster:Yeah, I'm definitely gonna need a cushion.

Buster:They still look fabulous.

Buster:He came back home once with a black statue... with an erect penis. It stayed in our living room until my aunt objected.

Buster:Hey, Adopted Brother. Do you think I could have a hit of that juice box?

Lucille · Buster:Because Buster's your brother... and I'm not gonna leave him home alone with all this J-U-I-C-E around. I can spell, Mom. You spelled 'juice.' Oh, you're so brilliant. Let's see you find it.

Buster:We have unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook.

Gob · Michael · Buster:Hey! What the hell happened to the blood? Hey, Brother. Whoa! Somebody put on his lipstick in the car. I love juice!

Buster · Michael:You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army? - No. Your sister's husband. - Michael? Michael! - No, that's your sister's brother. - I'm my sister's brother. - You're in love with me. Me! - I'm in love with Tobias.

Buster:I can't be expected to live on the $800-a-month army-wife stipend that I'm gonna get. They just don't support the spouses.

Buster:Well, I've always wanted to remake Annie Hall. Except I wouldn't want to get in bed with a green producer like a Sofia Coppola though. Oh, but give me an old pro, like a Robert Redford? Oh, I'd jump into bed with him in a second.

Buster · Michael:And I wouldn't just lie there, Michael Bluth... if that's what you're thinking. - Actually, that time that was what I was thinking.

Buster:NO, HE'S NOT! I CAME OUT OF YOU! HE DIDN'T!

Buster:NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO. NO! NO! NO! I CAME HERE TO SAY SOMETHING.

Buster:NO, SHE'S HAPPY. SHE'S JUST MEAN ALL THE TIME.

Kid · Buster:IF YOU CAN KICK, FATTY. I'M A MAN.

Annyong · Buster:WHERE IS EVERYBODY? HEADS UP, FATTY!

Buster:Yeah, like anyone would want to 'R' her.

Buster:I'll kill her first.

Buster · Lucille:Mother? Mother! - I heard zoo noises. - It's nothing. Go back to bed.

Buster:My- Reproductive organ... is shaped like- a lobster tail... but without its shell, hmm?

George Michael · Buster:I wanna buy Ann some diamond dust. I'm just hoping to get mildly injured, so I can get out of the army.

Buster:I don't agree with your dirty doings here... but I will defend with my life your right to do it.

Buster:I ought to point to Uncle Oscar's Charlie Browns... next time you're on top of him, Mother.

Buster:Mother, when you see this videotape, you'll know that I left. Not out of cowardice, but out of- Oh, man. It's tiring in here.

Buster · Narrator:Mexico. In fact, he was in Santa Ana... a town six minutes inland from his own.

Buster:Oh, this shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun.

Buster:I never thought I'd miss a hand so much. You people are just like me.

Buster:Oh, no. I'm going with you. I am one of you now. Ssí?

Buster:This is great. We're like slave buddies.

Buster · Narrator:Buster's accidental return home - newspaper delivery reveal

Buster:Make love in your own hand, Mother!

Buster:Because you're twins. [Chuckles]

Gob · Buster:Black humor. Say, 'Hey, Dad, look at you. You're... a year older... and a year closer to death.' Oh, yeah, I guess that's kinda funny.

Gob · Buster:Oh, yeah. I used to be a stripper. Strippers don't wear clothes. Not at the end of the show. You can wear stripper clothes when you're not stripping? You tell me.

Buster:'Someone wanted to send you a birthday greeting. See you soon!' Oh! That is wicked.

Buster:To get the top right, the pants had to be a little snug.

Buster:Dead father? Is he de- Dad's dead? Oh, my God! The card! The card!

Buster:[Preview: Buster finds out about Captain Kangaroo's death]

Buster:Aren't you supposed to yell at me and call me 'homo' and motivate me over this wall?

Buster · Narrator:Those bastards. I did not say that.

Buster:That could be good for Army.

Lucille · Buster:There's no shame in being a coward. / A coward? I'm not a coward.

Buster:The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing.

Buster:Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster · General Anderson:I just wanted to thank you for my new job. [Giggles] What's wrong? I'm shipping out tomorrow.

Buster:I think the age difference is really starting to catch up to us.

Buster:I love my mother. She's one of the two most important people in my life. You know, she and Quincy.

Lucille 2 · Buster:Lucille 2! - Buster! - So you're back. - Oh, I'm back, Buster!

Buster:Well, I would hardly call my mother a girl.

Buster:Oh. Well, she mostly likes talk radio.

Buster:That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.

Starla · Michael · Buster:By the way, I love your mother. - Oh, yeah, I do too. - Oh.

Michael · Buster:You didn't sell your stock? What? No. Your letter said not to... and I would never want to hurt the family.

Lucille · Buster · Lucille 2:When Buster inadvertently bid on Lucille 2. - $10,000! - Buster.

Buster:But sometimes love should be terrifying.

Buster:I'll be right in, and then maybe we can talk about— Makin' that love.

Buster:She's kind, and she's caring... and she's certainly less experienced than that whore that I'm dating now.

Buster · Gob:These kind of skills? Not really.

Lucille · Buster:Whatever happened to 'Keepin' It Fresh'? - I was 30 years old then, Mother. I'm 32 now!

Buster · George Sr.:You're a good uncle. I'm not your uncle. I'm your father. - What? - Shh. Shh. Quiet courage. Quiet courage. Hide.

Buster · Narrator:Loose seal! Watch out for loose seal! I don't care about Lucille! She lies! [Narrator] And then a seal bites off his hand.

Buster:Actually, I'm relieved. I don't have to go to army because the seal with the bow tie attacked me. I feel like I've lost three pounds.

Michael · Buster:My hat is off to you. - And my hand is off to you.

Buster · Michael:I mean, a seal didn't bite your Linus off, did it? - No, a seal didn't bite my Linus off.

Buster · Michael:Then go to her. Ask for her hand. - Yeah. And, uh, maybe... I'll get one for my brother while I'm at it.

Buster:Get him out of here! - Hmm? - Get him out of here! Get the- [Bleeps] Out of my room!

Buster:And while you're at it, let's all give me a big hand!

Buster:Guess this means you don't wanna play 'got your nose' with me.

Lucille · Gob · Buster:How the hell would a seal know how to tie a bow tie anyway? - I can barely tie the yellow one that I wear in my act. - This one had a yellow bow tie!

Buster:Oh! No, stop it, stop it, stop it! Oh, you caught my tendon in your claw! - My claw? Aw, God! [Hysterical Whimpering] I'm a monster!

Buster:Oh! No, stop it, stop it, stop it! Oh, you caught my tendon in your claw! My claw? Aw, God! I'm a monster!

Buster:If you were hot, Mother, we would win.

George Michael · Buster:Let's rock-paper-scissors for it. - No! You would've-You would've won that, so-

Lucille · George Michael · Buster:Can I open a can of soup for you? - Can it open a can? - Can what open a can? Oh, God!

Michael · Buster · Gob:Monster! - Hey, Brothers. - Bonster!

Buster:He couldn't wait to swoop in and throw on that sailor suit, because he's not damaged goods.

Barry · Buster:Left flipper. - So, the seal lost his hand too. Yeah, poor guy's probably out there without a flipper... swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family.

Buster:And yet, anything goes at bath time. [Chuckles]

Buster:Either I zip down or he zips up! And that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. You have to get on your knees to start it.

Buster · Michael · Narrator:Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother.' - No, let's try to top that. - [Narrator] They never did.

Buster:George Michael still has a chance. Take him!

Michael · Buster:And I saw some of those people. That was a very competitive category. - Oh, don't I know it.

Maeby · Buster:The only thing more terrifying... than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call! - Hey, campers. - [Kids Screaming]

Buster · Narrator:I'm a monster! This may have been a step backwards.

Narrator · Buster:Buster had once videotaped himself recreating moments from his then favorite film, Chicago.

Buster:Oh, God! Oh, God!

Buster · Lucille:You can't fire me. I'm your son. I'm firing you! I was firing Lupe.

Buster:What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!

Buster:In this magic trick, I'm going to put a sword... through my assistant's tummy.

Buster:It's a real sword, master.

Buster · Audience:It's a real sword, master. Oh-ho!

Buster:Oh, it still needs three stamps.

Buster · Gob:Handle first. Handle first. [Screams] Oh, my fingers!

Buster:Well, he didn't return when I lost my hand. But you- you not only embrace it... but I saw you kissing it while you thought I was sleeping.

Police · Buster · Franklin:Drug dog's got something. Get him, Bennett! I don't want no part of your tight-ass country club... you freak bitch!

Buster:I'm sorry I'm an inconvenience to you, Mother.

Buster:What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!

Oscar · Buster:Buster! The Cornballer! [Both Screaming] [Sizzling]

Buster:Pop secret? Pop se- Is Oscar my real father?

Buster:My father is my uncle!

Buster:I decided to sleep in the car so my snoring wouldn't bother you, and I left that recording of my snoring so you wouldn't know I'm gone.

Buster:This is just like when we used to live up in the attic.

Buster:As soon as Father came back, I've been like the Invisible Man. 'Hello! Can anyone see me?'

Buster · Michael:I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. You certainly have a type.

Buster:It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.

Buster:No, he was just analraping me.

Lucille · Buster:Buster, you should have finished the job. Job? What job? Did I say job? I meant Gob.

Buster:It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect!

Lucille · Buster:Where's your hand? Oh, it got stuck in the prize hole again. I told you not to play that stupid game anymore. Ah! There goes number three.

Buster:'At Risk Male Youth.' That spells 'Army.'

Buster:If mother sees this, she will blow a cow.

Buster:Goody! Yeah. I do want to. Yea. I do want to. Goody.

Buster:No, I'm not, Mother. I mean lover. - I like making love to Mother. - I mean lover!

George Sr. · Lucille · Buster:This is funny! / He's gay! / Where's your hand? / Oh. I'm having my high school ring put on it, and my hook is stuck in the staircar.

Buster:Domo arigoto, Mister Roboto...

Buster · Michael:And how about that little piece of tail on her? / I've opened a door here that I regret.

Buster:She has a name, Mother. And it's 'Mother.'

Buster · Narrator:Stay in this box that Uncle/Father Oscar left behind. In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana.

Lucille · Buster:Oh, good, you've already got grass. / Primo bud. Real sticky weed.

Buster:Uncle/Father Oscar? What are you doing here?

Buster:Oh, yeah. My turtle was living in it before he ate all the grass and died.

Buster · Oscar:At least you can stay and help me bury my poor turtle. / Or we could cremate it.

Buster · Oscar:Oh, it's on 'standby'! / Got another one in you?

Buster · Michael:Oh, then why do we care? / What is wrong with everyone?

Buster · Oscar:Wait a minute. You're not really smiling. / I'm Oscar.

Buster:They only wanted me because I had one hand. And I won't do it! That's not the way Mother is raising me.

Buster:Of course, I left my hand there, also.

Buster:You better not lock it! I'll kick it in!

Buster:I was like, 'Make it two weeks! See if I care!'

Buster · Michael:Even if it means me never taking a job again. A pulse makes him worth it.

Buster · Michael:'The only scary thing about a one-arm man trying to scare someone is the fact...' '...that he feels that his one arm is good for nothing but trying to scare somebody.' It's upside down.

George Sr. · Buster:You can say what you want about the Milford Academy-- the kids that came out of there, prepared for life. Does anyone know how to eat one of these? It doesn't do anything.

Buster:I walked. I tried hitchhiking, but it's hard to do without a thumb.

Buster · Lindsay:It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. It's hot ham water.

Buster · Lucille · Gob:She glued my thumb back on. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me, or is she looking hotter, too? Well, why don't you marry her? Maybe I will!

Gob · Narrator · Buster:Wait, no, no! Where's everyone going? No one's leaving until I get my money! I'll follow you to your cars! Oh, and then that old racist woman choked on Buster's thumb. My thumb!

Buster:Not cool, Mom.

Lindsay · Buster:Well, just fake it! / Coma.

Medical instructor · Buster:That's okay. Try again... No, that's a tendon. He'd be screaming right now. It's okay. try again.

Buster:I'm not faking it, Michael. I really am this expressionless.

Buster:No, I was just clearing my throat, but I think it actually does mean 'laundry' but like, a child's laundry. We don't really have a word for it.

Buster:Buster claims he speaks Arabic but just clears his throat: 'La-ach-ha-tem'

Adelaide · Buster:Oh, Buster, you're such a ( bleep ). That means she likes you. Oh. It's more than like.

Buster:When I miss your lips, I'll put a fig in my mouth and think of you.

Buster:So you ready for Operation Hot Brother?

Buster:My God, it makes me want to have an ice-cream cone. Doesn't this make you want to have an ice-cream cone?

Buster:'Cause Gangee once said to me, your mom might not have ever even been pregnant with you.

Buster:I think he means to shoot you in the head.

Michael · Buster:Buster: 'Looks like you are a hero, Buster.' 'We both are.' 'Well...'

Buster:Oh, come on!

Buster:Oh, Tobias got a new girlfriend.

Buster:Daddy, my tummy's turning. I got to get out, I got to get out.

Lindsay · Buster · Gob:Gentlemen, start your engines. No, Gob. Oh!

Tobias · Buster:You're a monster, you don't have to be good. What? It wasn't a great choice of words.

Unknown performer · Buster:Nice ad-lib. Not an ad-lib... I can't swim.

Buster:She stole the 'Queen Mary' to get away from the SEC. Oh, and she winked.

Buster:Maybe you could hook me up with a little stimmy. Lil' stimmy.

Buster:And I want stimmy to get a hook that'll do that

Buster:Homosexuals kidnapped the boat and took it on a joy ride. Mother didn't want to trample their rights, so she let them.

Lucille · Buster:Make it an eel. It's gonna be an eel! Better.

Lucille · Buster:It sure would be a shame if something happened to your pretty little key witness. Star witness. And are you threatening yourself?

Buster:In case you wanted to make confetti out of something other than the pictures that they sell of the chubby Linda Ronstadt

Buster:Wait! She doesn't have her makeup! I have her lipstick! Mother!

Buster:Mother is going to come waltzing through that door any day now, and she is going to be screaming, 'Make sure you frisk that girl before...'

Buster · Lupe:That's my perfume. Mm, good. Okay, good. She wouldn't wear that

Buster:♪ The vodka goes in, you pour it in the other ♪ ♪ The olive on top and then you call your... ♪ ♪ Mother. ♪

Buster:Except for the hair. You have reduced. Well, you're not that skinny. Welcome home, chubs. Oh, you will kill me for that. And I don't want that blood on my hands

Buster:This pasta's way overcooked, Buster! Well, you didn't leave me the simplest recipe, Mother

Buster:Chinchilla! The one you got after Dad had the affair with the chubby intern from Riverside

Lucille · Buster:Half your testicle was hanging out of that thing. Good! I'm glad they saw it

Lucille · Buster:You're a hot mess! You're a hot mess!

Buster:I was making two ban... Late last night, it was drizzling rain! I'm a key witness

Buster:The fish is frozen here! It's frozen! Do you really want to spend $30 on frozen fish?

Buster:Like the saltless pie?

Buster:Is that baby toe of yours still crawling over the others like a weird weed?

Buster:Oh, it's one of my night terrors

Buster · Narrator:Alex Trebek? She then rephrased it in the form of a question. Who is Alex Trebek?

Lucille 2 · Buster:Buster, that was innuendo. Oh. My Lord, it's like we're speaking different languages here

Army officers · Buster:Are you gay? No. You can tell me. I'm not. It's okay. Drew, tell him. I'm gay. Oh. Peter's gay. Oh... Sergeant Melnick's gay. Oh. Bi. Oh, sorry, he's bi

Buster:This is so much more fun than 'Guess the Fur'

Buster:Take that, Taliban wedding!

Buster · Army officer:Oh, you can go to Spain in this thing? Maybe you should take a break

Buster:Innocent people?! You mean I've been hurting guilty people?!

Buster · Therapist:Too hard. Uh, I think that was too hard. Okay. Yeah.

Buster:See, light drizzle will just annoy you but, you see, thunder... will 'F' you up!

Herbert · Buster:If you want me to pay for her diaphragm, I get to put my hand in her... Shoe! Nice stop, Blind Side Monster

Buster:I've worn a captain's hat with someone who had hair like that

Lucille · Buster:Hamster or turtle? No, Mother. Hamsters are gross. It's a female. Human. Female human. Whole thing

Buster:I'm not a mother boy anymore. I'm a mother man

Buster:I'm not a mother boy anymore. I'm a mother man.

Buster:After I've zipped down, you can't expect me to zip up!

Buster:And he's gotten himself in some pretty hot ham water this time

Buster:Oh, this is just like Mother's Day Eve!

Buster:Oh, no. I'm in the movie. Oh, no

Police · Buster:That left hand might be difficult to cuff. Trouble cuffing him. I'm not a monster!

Buster · Michael:Am I that much of a monster, Michael? Even to you? No, not at all, I just wasn't expecting, uh, you know, a man to be sitting in a Scuba Jr., leaping out at me up in the attic, that's all.

Buster:No, I just took the skin off. It's in the dryer.

Buster:We used to want to play dress-up. Her as Jackie O., me as John-John... But we... No, I guess we did get to do that a couple of times. ♪ Motherboy... ♪

Buster:Pick a lane, Michael! You can't say I can't be here and say you're not looking after me. Pick a lane, Michael!

Buster · Michael:Pick a lane, Michael. Pick a lane, Buster. No, you pick a lane! Come on. Ow, ow, ow. I picked a lane!

Buster:Winner of 1982's Least Seen on Campus.

Buster:I wish I could've seen their faces at the ceremony.

Buster:This is one of only two things the Army warns us about when they issue these. Boy, Kitty does not know what she's sitting on.

Michael · Buster:Maybe that's a role I can play in your life. Don't say... Mom. Mmm.

Buster:I ain't got no truck with no blue.

Buster:Well, I lived with Mother. Did you think we were dating?

Buster:No! No! A thousand times, no! Is that what they'll ask? 'Cause it's not like I'm gonna remember details about where I saw her and what we fought about.

Buster:You kept me from Mother? You sent her to prison? Should I not say that?

Buster:Should I not say that?

Buster:Oh, those things are so easy to beat.

Buster:APB. 'Aw, poor Buster.'

Buster:You always come back to save the family. We joke about that all the time.

Buster:'Hi, I'm Michael,' and I save everyone so I feel special, even though you don't deserve it.

Buster:I saw Lucille 2's lifeless body sprawled across the stair car?

Buster:This is literally one of only two things the Army warns about when they issue these.

Buster:I mean, that guy obviously has a giant rubber hand, and I have a giant melted hand that smells like Bounce.

Buster:Why hasn't Michael come back? What happened to 'Michael always comes back'?

Buster:Does this mean we can start leaving towels on the floor?

Buster · Michael:I'm making this into a trophy for Dad. / I can't wait to see the one you got yourself.

George Sr. · Buster:Yes. And we found you in the break room with the Chanel man. He should never have lost his job for that.

Buster · Michael:He was just giving me a Fanta! I know I should've spoken up for him, but I was only a boy. Barely out of my teens. I didn't... Currently.

Buster:I said 'dead.' Maybe they said 'dead,' and I said, 'I wish.' Why'd you do that? I thought it was funny.

George Sr. · Buster:This is where I ate a battery during my first week at recess. No, no, 'yard.' Don't call it recess.

Buster:A skinhead. I'm gonna kill you, you bleeping skinhead! Oh, hey! Skinhead! See what I did to skinhead?

Michael · Buster · Barry:She said that I could make up whatever reason I want. You tell me what is easiest on you. Hmm, no, it's too mean. I think you're entitled, Buster. She hates you, Michael. We'll use that one.

Buster:In my case, twice. Well, two times, allegedly.

Buster:Like when she used to lock me in the bathroom for grown-up selfish needs night. Oh, did we have a good time. What? No, it ended in tears.

Michael · Buster:Lucille 2's head in a box? Spooky.

Michael · Buster:Okay, now inside the stair car are two heads. One bald, one spiky. Spooky.

Lucille · Buster:Well, I'm not going to be the one who apologizes, if that's what you're waiting for. - Well, I'm sorry, but... - Apology accepted.

Buster:Did I exaggerate about her? She really is just like the mother in Two and a Half Men.

Buster:There's no scary half-man that I couldn't handle.

Buster:I touched a mouse. I read an illustrated Qur'an for kids, and at recess once, I sat in 'Blacks only.' Yard. Oh, I keep doing that.

Buster:You'll need the warden's permission, and then you'll have to sponsor me for my furlough, and they probably won't let me on the float again, but that's just... Oh, God, it's still the parade, isn't it?

Buster:Well, it's either that, or I'm gonna start spewing it.

Buster · Lucille:Half-man? Jon Cryer. Oh.

Buster · Guard:Is this because I accidentally choked Ron Howard? Because they already made me pay for that. They chopped your hand off? No, they just downgraded me to a manual.

Buster:Are there dressing rooms for the talent?

Gob · Buster:It's gonna involve you being put into a small, confined space, and you come out gay. If that's a swipe about me being in prison, I understand it.

Gob · Buster:It's gonna involve you being put into a small, confined space, and you come out gay. If that's a swipe about me being in prison, I understand it.

Oscar · Buster:Wait a minute. It's a fake hand. How can it hurt? No, it's a rental from prison, and Mother said my next hand... is gonna be out of my own pocket

Oscar · Buster:Outside, inside, outside, inside... Now, we cannot draw attention to ourselves. - I'm just a guy fixing a broken hand. - Right. And I'm... I'm just a guy who's wearing a blue hat. Nothing to see here, folks. Nothing to see.

Buster · Oscar:Oh, I'm like a kid in a candy shop. - No way. - I think I saw William Shatner wearing this while riding a bicycle once.

Buster · Oscar:Oh, I'm like a kid in a candy shop. No way. I think I saw William Shatner wearing this while riding a bicycle once.

Buster:It sort of reminds me of Mother's hand, except it's less veiny, and warmer.

Stan Sitwell · Oscar · Buster:You're taking me as a hostage in case the cops see us? Hey, guy, I wouldn't know about that. - We can pretend we're cousins. - Cousins?

Oscar · Buster:Inside, outside, inside, outside... - Who is this guy? - I don't know... inside... but I don't like the looks of him... outside...

Oscar · Buster:Tell him to off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, to F off, twinkle toes. Tell him to F off.

Oscar · Buster:Inside, outside. Inside, outside. Inside, outside. Outside. Inside, outside. - You blow our cover, and she's a goner. - Inside, outside.

Oscar · Buster:Wet side, dry side, wet side, dry side, wet side, dry side...

Buster:I could sniff out Mother somehow, but she wouldn't want me. Maybe I'm better in prison. I'm no good on my own.

Buster · Oscar:Inside. Outside. Inside.

Oscar · Buster:Feels like we're outside. It feels like we're inside.

Buster:You're looking at a boy who faked a coma for two weeks to get out of a spelling bee.

Buster · Oscar:That was to get out of testifying. No, that was a three-month coma.

Buster · Tobias:No, you have to be 55 and older. Well, that sounds like a challenge to any family that wasn't a ragtag troupe of folks whom I wish to become actors.

Buster:It said, 'Welcome Home From Prison Again, Buster.' I mean, it's like, did they expect me to come home from prison?

Oscar · Buster:A guy could have a mighty nice life up here. Do you... You want us to die here together?

Gob · Buster:If... you help me get rid of this big, dead-body-shaped thing. What is it? I just told you, it's...

Buster:Yeah, I barely know it's... Well, he's grown a little.

Buster:So I named it after her: Lucille Ball.

Buster:Take that back! You take that back! We're normal! We're normal!

Buster:I've never even got my suit wet from the outside.

Buster:Poker face.

Buster:I'm growing dreads, Mother. Dreads right out of my head.

Buster:Burn. It's just that my mother's name is Lucille as well, so the... the burn was on her.

Buster:I've got a show to do in ten minutes, and I haven't got a Thing to wear... this Thing suit.

Buster:Well, had I known that she was talking about Lindsay, I would have been, like, 'Goodbye, Felicia.'

Buster:I did, but nothing's gonna happen to me 'cause I'm just a boy.

Buster · Michael:Lottie. She's so mean. I wish I could shove her down the st... Hey! Shh!

Gob · Buster:body-shaped thing... It's from a magician.

Buster:Mm-hmm. Yeah, I saw A Few Good Men, too. But Dusty's the real deal. Sorry, Michael. Game recognizes game.

Reporter · Buster:How does it feel to be accused of murder? It was a lot of work, but I didn't do it! They found me not guilty. Well, it was a mistrial, so they found you not not guilty.

Maeby · Lindsay · Buster:Oh, my God. Lucille 2 is your mother? Mimi. Not Lucille 2. Oh, right. That is who I pushed down the stairs.

Buster:Okay, I did it. So... But doesn't she remind you of Mom?

Buster:Okay, I did it. So...

Buster:But doesn't she remind you of Mom?