Byron 'Buster' Bluth

Buster · Michael · Lucille:Buster doing something on the balcony that he apparently cannot do on the balcony — it's too windy per Mom.

Buster:Mom says it's too windy.

Buster:Obviously this blue part here is the land. That would mean...

Buster · Executives · Lucille:You guys are so smart. — Two percent per annum. This is a non-recoupable... — We need Michael. — We need ice.

Buster · Michael:I think Dad would really want you to help us out here. — Dad's in jail. Here we go.

Buster · Lucille:Buster bursts in: 'It's a bird.' Lucille: 'I know it's a bird. I'm on the phone.'

Buster:Buster: 'It walked on my pillow.' Lucille doesn't care.

Buster · Michael:Buster overhears: 'That's cool. Mom packed me a change of clothes.' — Michael has just said 'This is not going to be a day at the beach.'

Buster · Gob · Michael:Buster is in his bathing suit at the office. Michael: 'why is he in his bathing suit?' Gob: 'Mom dropped me off to spend time with Michael.'

Gob · Buster · Michael:Gob on Lucille: 'Spend time with Michael, or to serve her own menopausal needs? She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us, so she can control everything.' Buster: 'Yeah. Mom's awesome.'

Buster:Beat after Buster says 'Yeah. Mom's awesome.' — then a pause, then: 'Maybe we should call her.'

Buster · Michael:Buster attempting to handle a business call for Michael. Extended sequence of Buster failing at basic phone communication — 'We're excited. We want your business... And, uh, everybody at the Bluth Company... Here I go again.'

Buster:Buster in the office: 'Mom told me to stay away from microwaves.' Then continues: 'And besides, this is gonna be the most bitchingly fast bike in all of Orange County.'

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'Your son is gonna love it.' Michael: 'Well, I guess 3:40 is as good a time as any to call it a day.'

Lindsay · Tobias · Buster:Lindsay: 'She always makes everything about her. She's the last person I ever want to need something from. She gets off on being withholding.' — said while Buster is clearly in the room.

Buster:Buster finally erupts: 'Whoa. Buster.' / 'I'm Mom, and I wanna shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself.'

Lindsay · Lucille · Buster:Lindsay calls Lucille for money for a new dress. Lucille immediately: 'Get a job.' Then Lindsay invents a story that Maeby was beaten up and had her clothes stolen. Lucille: 'Send her over. I'll take her shopping.' Buster: 'You get off on being withholding, don't you?'

Buster:Callback: Lucille arrives at the model home and we cut to Buster, who says 'Zip me up.' — the third use of 'Zip me up' in the episode, but now Buster saying it to someone else.

Buster · Narrator:Buster built the bike but 'neglected to build the brakes.' Buster: 'I'm flying!'

Buster · Michael:Michael tells Buster he can make his own decisions. Buster: 'Michael. I wanna go with Mom.' Michael: 'You said that she shoots you down.' Buster: 'I was trying to fit in.'

Michael · Buster · Lucille:Michael: 'You were flying today, buddy.' Buster: 'Yes, I was flying... but a little too close to the sun.' Lucille: 'You let him go in the sun? Get in the backseat. I'll be right out.'

Buster:Buster: 'Front seat, Mom. I sit in the front seat now. Mmm?'

Buster · Lucille:Final tag: 'And Buster is back where he belongs. Mom! What is it? I can't get down.'

Buster · Lucille:Tag: Buster is back with Lucille. Lucille: 'What is it?' Buster: 'I can't get down.'

Buster:Buster mingling at the Desi awards without his glasses, singing/humming '¿Cómo estoy?' to himself

Buster · Lucille Austero · Narrator:Lucille Austero first took notice of Buster [visual: she sees him without his glasses for the first time and finds him attractive] — Buster, however, failed to notice her [visual: Buster walking past, oblivious due to blindness without glasses]

Lucille Austero · Buster · Narrator:She sent him a proposition. [Lucille Austero sends a note to Buster via waiter]

Lucille Bluth · Buster:He doesn't even know what she looks like. — I know she's a brownish area with points.

Buster:And I know I love her.

Buster:Okay, I don't know I love her... but I cannot tell you how liberating it is to be with someone who's not Mom... who's nothing like her.

Buster:That's what you do when life hands you a chance to be with someone special. You just grab that... that brownish area by its points, and you don't let go, no matter what your mom says.

Lucille Austero · Buster:So, listen, Buster, have you given any thought to my offer? — I'm sorry. What? — Well, my phone hasn't made a peep.

Buster · Lucille Austero:Has your hair... always been that pointy, Miss Austero? — It's Lucille. — Right. Right. That's my mom's name.

Buster · Lucille Austero:Buster. — Let's go for it. [Buster makes a bold romantic move toward Lucille Austero]

Buster · Narrator:Narrator describes Buster accidentally flirting, accidentally bidding $10,000 at a charity auction, and accidentally entering her apartment saying 'I need you right now. Fellas, take a powder.'

Narrator · Buster:Buster had recently brought the rock home from an archeological dig, but had yet to find a way to get it out of the car.

Narrator · Buster · Lucille 2:You barely even leave Mom's apartment. In fact, Buster was worried about running into Lucille 2. So he never left his mother's apartment. Lucille 2 was also supposed to go, but was waiting until she saw Buster emerge.

Buster · Lucille 2:I've already got a Lucille in my life. / I understand. That's healthy.

Lucille 2 · Buster:Yes. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. / Am I needy? / No. / Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.

Buster · Lucille 2:You know, we're probably not that different, you and me. / You and I. Is it 'I' or is it 'me'? / Buster, it's us. / Yes. It is us. Us.

Buster · Lucille 2:[9-minute mark: Buster and Lucille 2 scene continues into a long, unresolved awkward pause before scene cuts]

Buster:My God, for the first time in years I felt like I was standing on solid ground. You know, my panic attacks have decreased. I feel confident. I'm feeling proud even.

Buster · Dr. Miller:Dr. Miller? / Yeah. / I just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.

Buster · Dr. Miller:Oh. Well, women love to laugh. / It was worth it to be away from Mom's controlling grasp.

Michael · Buster:Buster, what's going on? What happened to your head? / Nothing. Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.

Narrator · Buster · Lucille 2:Narrator describes Buster accidentally flirting with Lucille 2 while not wearing glasses, then accidentally bidding $10,000 on her at a charity auction, then accidentally entering her apartment thinking it was his mother's.

Buster · Lucille 2:'I need you right now. Fellas, take a powder.'

Narrator · Buster:Buster recently brought home a large rock from an archeological dig but 'had yet to find a way to get it out of the car.'

Narrator · Buster · Lucille 2:Buster was so worried about running into Lucille 2 he never left his mother's apartment. Lucille 2 was waiting for Buster to emerge. They were in a mutual standoff neither knew about.

Buster · Lucille 2:Buster breaks up with Lucille 2: 'I've already got a Lucille in my life.' / 'I understand. That's healthy.'

Lucille 2 · Buster:'You know, we're probably not that different, you and me.' / 'You and I. Is it "I" or is it "me"?' / 'Buster, it's us.' / 'Yes. It is us. Us.'

Lucille 2 · Buster:Buster and Lucille 2, in bed together. 'Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? It was a wild, wild ride. But is this something we can do? Is this something society will allow?'

Buster:'I don't care what other people think. My God, for the first time in years I felt like I was standing on solid ground. My panic attacks have decreased. I feel confident. I'm feeling proud even...'

Dr. Miller · Buster:'I just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.' / 'Oh. Well, women love to laugh.'

Buster:'Nothing. Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.'

Narrator · Buster:Tension had been high between the two Lucilles since Buster had announced he'd been dating her. Although neither had addressed this, both had given indications of their true feelings. / Mom, you're ruining our fort.

Buster · Lucille:Where's my bed? / I put it in storage.

Buster:Okay. Before I leave this place for the last time ever...

Buster:I saw him last night at the Playtime Pizza Theater. On my date. Of which I have another one tonight. And I'm going to continue dating, Mom.

Michael · Buster:Sounds a little bit like 'dating Mom.' / It's starting to feel a little like it.

George Sr. · Buster · Lucille:'May you live. May you be well. I give you my blessing.' / Wow! Really? / Are you out of your mind?

Buster:Okay. We're all saying some things we're going to regret.

Buster:Could you just... just separate?

Headmaster · Buster:'Save it for the talk room.' The headmaster shushes Buster's enthusiasm mid-sentence during the flashback.

Narrator · Buster:Buster so excelled at being 'neither seen nor heard' that he remained at the Milford School undetected for a full two semesters after he was supposed to graduate.

Buster · Jessie:Buster enthusiastically volunteers to help ('Right here! Ready to go. At your service. Get me out there!') and Jessie tells him to stay in because 'People find you odd and alienating.' He replies: 'I shall be neither seen nor heard. Watch me.'

Narrator · Buster:Narrator: 'Buster was also doing his share for the family.' — cut to shot of Buster, presumably just sitting somewhere doing nothing visible

Buster:Buster moves to the kitchen. Tag scene with Buster silently relocating.

Buster · Michael:Buster says 'Don't forget my girlfriend' to Michael's toast — Michael says 'That's who I meant' — implying he just confused Buster's girlfriend Lucille 2 with his own mother Lucille.

Buster:Buster tells Michael he loved the speech — 'I never want to look at Mom again.'

Buster:Buster: 'Do you know she tried to set up my girlfriend with a man?'

Buster:Well, I can't really talk. She might be listening in.

Lucille · Buster · Michael:Lucille interrupts the call: 'Can I throw out this yogurt?' — Buster responds with two simultaneous conversations, Michael has to manage both.

Buster · Lucille:Buster reading from a note: 'Because you know I don't appreciate how you treat me. I am not a child, Mother.' — then: 'Blow.' / 'No, Mother! I can blow myself.'

Buster · Narrator:Narrator: 'So, Buster loaded up his possessions and emancipated himself from his mother.' — Visual of Buster presumably carrying a tiny amount of belongings dramatically.

Carl Weathers · Buster:Buster arrives at Lucille 2's apartment. Carl Weathers is there. 'This is purely a social call. Just two adults gettin' a stew on, man.'

Buster · Carl Weathers:Oh, hey, Buster. I thought you had class. I thought you had class. My brother-in-law fires you... And you move in on my girlfriend?

Buster:Buster: 'I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting.'

Buster:Buster: 'Carl Weathers took everything from me. My entire life just came crashing down... I will never love again.'

Buster · Narrator:Buster sees Marta and immediately thinks: 'I've been dating an old lady.'

Lucille 2 · Buster:You're replacing my mother. [Lucille 2 to Buster] / You need some time. [long pause, door closes]

Buster:Buster rebounds immediately from heartbreak over Lucille 2 — 'Yo te quiero mucho. Te amo, Marta. Te amo.' — in the 'On the next Arrested Development' preview.

Buster:Buster interrupts: 'This is all moot, because she never got a chance to know me. Now, will someone please have the decency to punch me in the face?'

Narrator · Michael · Buster:Michael was sharing his bed for the first time in years. Unfortunately, it was with his younger brother, Buster.

Gob · Michael · Buster:Besides, when was the last time you slept with someone? / Buster. / What time and where?

Buster:What, I'm gone for a couple days and you find a new son?

Michael · Ms. Baerly · Buster · Gob:Michael sneaks Ms. Baerly into the model home at night, and they are discovered by Buster and Gob — who independently are also sneaking in.

Buster:I'll light a candle of my own. That's exactly what I'll do.

Michael · George Michael · Buster:Michael answers his phone mid-sentence to his son, causing Buster (on a bike nearby) to crash

Lucille · Buster:Lucille on Annyong's work ethic: 'unlike some sons I know' / Buster: 'I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.'

Buster · Narrator:Buster panics at the mention of Catalina because of 'an unfortunate encounter in a photo booth on the wildlife-populated island of Catalina'

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'Does that mean I have to go to your office to get mine, too, or how's that work?'

Michael · Buster:Michael tells Buster he'll have to work in the copy room to earn his money. Buster: 'Okay. I accept. I'll take that job. I will work in the copy room.'

Buster:Buster's escalating panic in the copy room — calling out 'Bob? Bob? Bob?' alone in the small space

Buster:Buster: 'I need a different job. I'm having real trouble in a confined indoor space.' Worker: 'How do you feel about working outdoors?' Buster: 'Uh, what else do you have?'

Buster:Buster reports the workers' profanity to Michael with wonder: 'One of the guys told me to take my head out of my bottom and get back to work. My bottom!'

Gob · Buster · Worker:Gob tries to incite a work stoppage: 'I say we shut down construction!' Buster: 'This is fun! We should do this just for the fun.' Worker: 'Easy for him to say. He got his paycheck too.'

Gob · Buster · Workers:Gob: 'He'll never stand up to the man. He's a chicken. A chicken.' — workers call Buster a chicken, Buster responds: 'My whole life you've called me a chicken, but that's over now. I have nothing to prove.'

Buster:Buster: 'That is not how a chicken sounds. Chickens don't clap!' — reacting to someone doing a chicken impression

Worker · Buster · Gob:A construction worker announces they'll settle the dispute with a game called 'chicken' — Buster and Gob race forklifts

Buster:Buster: 'Uh-oh. My seat doesn't have a cushion.' / after the race: 'I'm definitely gonna need a cushion.'

Lucille · Annyong · Buster:'You've got a little pocket there, Annyong.' / 'Annyong.' / 'That's not getting old.'

Michael · Buster · George Michael:'Buddy, what are you doing here?' / 'I'm dying to see how he makes this yacht disappear.' / 'He's not going to make the yacht disappear. I told him that.' / 'It's driving me crazy. It's like a mind puzzle, an awesome mind puzzle.'

Family member · Buster · Narrator:Buster is injured — 'He was trying to help some handicapped girl up to the bleachers, and he fell. It's just a sprain. But at least it's legitimate.'

Buster · Annyong:They don't tell you anything, huh? / They tell me things. [beat] / It doesn't matter though, because Dad is gonna be in here a long time. / No. We have court day today. They take plea. Daddy come home. You out.

George Sr. · Buster:Buster's flashback to George Sr.'s pre-arrest threat: 'Hey, enjoy yourself tonight, because you are out of here. I'm not gonna spend my retirement watching you wipe your nose on your sleeve.'

Buster · George Sr.:I can't breathe, Dad. / Neither can I.

Buster:I want immunity for me and my mom... and I want my dad to stay in prison. Also, can you send Annyong back to Korea?

Narrator · Maggie · Buster:Meanwhile, Maggie's interrogation of Buster was proving fruitless.

Buster:He came back home once with a black statue with an erect penis. It stayed in our living room until my aunt objected.

Buster · Maggie:Buster tells Maggie the evidence is at a house on Scenic View Drive. / Isn't that where you live? / Yeah. And I'm headed there now.

Buster · Lucille:I'm not going anywhere. You're the one who's staying put. Not me. You. / What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese?

Buster · Annyong:Buster hitting on Annyong's juice box and the visual of him desperately eyeing a child's juice box

Buster · Annyong:Hey, Adopted Brother. Do you think I could have a hit of that juice box? [reaction beat — Buster clearly steals the juice box from a child]

Lucille · Buster:Lucille spelling out J-U-l-C-E / Buster: 'I can spell, Mom. You spelled juice.' / Lucille: 'Oh, you're so brilliant. Let's see you find it.'

Michael · George Michael · Gob · Buster:Michael: 'Not everything is strippers and booze and buckets of blood.' / George Michael: 'Why do you guys have buckets of blood?' / Gob: 'It's not real blood. It's corn syrup and red dye.' / Buster: 'Juice.' / Gob: 'We have unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook.'

Buster · Gob:Buster has found and apparently drunk the fake blood (corn syrup and red dye) — 'Hey, Brother. Somebody put on his lipstick in the car.' / Buster: 'I love juice!'

Buster:Buster discovered the narcoleptic stripper inside a birthday cake in the next room and apparently triggered her narcolepsy — visual of Buster with what looks like blood around his mouth after having drunk the fake blood earlier

Narrator · Narcoleptic Stripper · Buster:The narcoleptic stripper wakes up, sees Buster with red around his mouth, and thinks she killed him for groping her. Narrator: 'Not again.'

Buster · George Michael:Buster carrying a purse, asking if it goes with his outfit — 'DOUCHE CHILL' reaction from George Michael

Annyong · Buster:Annyong: 'Go, fatty.' to Buster

Buster · Lucille:Buster: 'No, he's not! I came out of you! He didn't!'

Narrator · George Michael · Tobias · Buster:Narrator: 'And back at the model home, three of the Bluth men struggled with their manliness.'

George Sr. · Buster:George Sr. to Buster: 'You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick and you couldn't run. You know, you were just a-a turd.'

Buster:Buster: 'Prison has destroyed the way you talk.'

Buster · George Sr. · Prison Guard:Buster mentions Oscar at the soccer game; George Sr.: 'Whoa, whoa, whoa — Oscar? My brother Oscar? Oscar's been coming around?' / Guard: 'NO TOUCHING! No touching. No touching.'

George Sr. · Prison Guard · Buster:'NO TOUCHING!' / 'Oh!' — George Sr. attempts handshake, gets shocked by the guard

Buster · Oscar:Buster discovers Oscar getting high in his camper — reaction shot

Buster:Buster: 'You do not belong here. My mother's been spoken for. You know, I may never have played organized sports, but I AM A MAN.'

Buster:Buster: 'No, she's happy. She's just mean all the time.'

Buster:Buster tries to grab the check and pay for Oscar: 'Let me get you. I'm a man. Move.'

Annyong · Buster:On the next AD: 'Where is everybody?' / 'HEADS UP, FATTY!' — Annyong kicks ball at Buster

Gob · Buster:Gob enthusiastically declares he's 'in' on beads because 'I don't know. Honey?' — then pivots to thinking it's about giving bees as gifts

Annyong · Buster:Annyong tells Buster: 'Mother said no carbohydrate for you if you ever gonna get girlfriend that's not old lady.'

Buster:Buster on a date: 'Are you kidding? I don't need to brag that some people haven't even been on a date!' — to his date, apparently bragging about George Michael not having been on a date

Buster:Buster's 'big moment' of leadership: 'I'm in charge now. I speak for this family. I mean, I could, if you wanted me to. I'd rather not, obviously. Don't know what I'd say. Why do I have to be the one? I don't need this. Why does this have to become my problem? No. I'm out. Forget it. Find somebody else. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of doing everything for this family.'

Lucille · Buster · Michael:Buster holding Lucille's 'rape horn.' Lucille: 'Yes. I have a rape horn, Michael. Because you took away my Mace.'

Buster · Lucille:Buster: 'You're the one who says I need a father figure.' Lucille: 'Yes. A father figure.' [Pointedly not Oscar]

Lucille · Buster · Oscar:Lucille: 'I sent [Oscar] out for a new air horn.' Shot of Buster waiting, then Oscar returns with a giant air horn.

Michael · Lucille · Buster · George Michael · Gob:Michael: 'None.' Family members simultaneously shouting needs: 'Oh God, okay fine I need you.' / 'Mom volunteered me for the Army just because the fat man dared her.' / 'I lost my wig. My Uncle Sam wig.' / 'Michael, I am sitting on some very hot information here. I know too much. I've got the thingy. Half in English, half in scribbly.'

Buster:Buster's army physical: 'My reproductive organ is shaped like a lobster tail, but without its shell, hmm?' / 'I guess I have the panic attacks under control.' / 'I'm legally blind at night.'

Army Recruiter · Buster:Okay then, let's get you fitted for a uniform. / What? What?

Buster · Lucille:They didn't think there was enough wrong with me. / Well, did they check everything? / Yes. They even touched my Charlie Browns.

Buster · Narrator:Buster saw the chance to get injured enough to keep him out of the army — but instead got a glimpse inside.

Buster · Tobias · Narrator:I can't look at that. / Unfortunately, Tobias had to.

Buster · Narrator · Tobias:I can't look at that. / Unfortunately, Tobias had to.

Buster:You lied to me. You both lied to me. I'm going to war.

Buster:I don't agree with your dirty doings here, but I will defend with my life your right to do it.

Lucille · Buster:Buster, you can't! / Yes, I can. I don't agree with your dirty doings here, but I will defend with my life your right to do it.

Buster:Buster: 'I ought to point to Uncle Oscar's Charlie Browns next time you're on top of him, Mother.'

Buster · Michael:Buster dramatically declares 'It's too late for apologies. I'm going to the army.' — then immediately: 'Get me out. You've got to get me out.'

Michael · Narrator · Buster:Michael: 'I'm gonna have to start putting people in the trunk.' Narrator: 'In fact, at that moment, Buster was climbing into the trunk.'

Buster:Buster records a farewell message in the trunk: 'Mother, when you see this videotape, you'll know that I left. Not out of cowardice, but out of—' [pause] 'Oh, man. It's tiring in here.'

Buster · Narrator:Narrator: 'Six minutes later, Michael dropped off his mother's housekeeper.' / Buster emerges: 'Mexico.' / Narrator: 'In fact, he was in Santa Ana, a town six minutes inland from his own.'

Buster:Buster in Santa Ana, holding a sombrero: 'Oh, this shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun.'

Buster:Buster in Santa Ana discovers Lupe's home has his old shirt and his childhood hand chair. 'I never thought I'd miss a hand so much.' / 'You people are just like me.'

Buster:Buster: 'I love being Mexican.' Lupe's family: 'We must work now, amigo. Adiós.' Buster: 'I am one of you now. Ssí?'

Buster:Buster at a dishwasher job: 'This is great. We're like slave buddies.'

Buster · Lucille:Buster: 'Mother!' Lucille: 'Buster!' — Buster has been delivered to their building by Lupe's relatives, thinking he was in Mexico the whole time.

Buster · Lucille:Tag scene: Buster reclaims his hand chair. Then: 'Make love in your own hand, Mother!'

Buster:Teaser: Buster reclaims his hand chair — 'Make love in your own hand, Mother!'

Narrator · Buster:The flashback to Buster's parakeet: it landed on housekeeper Rose's wig, flew away when she took out trash, and flew into a transformer.

Buster:Buster comes home mid-planning because 'the army had half a day.'

Gob · Buster:Gob explains the coffin trick to Buster: 'I'm gonna escape out the trap door... You close the trap door, bring in the pallbearers and bury an empty box. So it's a hoax.' — Buster: 'But why are you doing a coffin trick on Dad's birthday?'

Gob · Buster:Gob explains the coffin trick as 'black humor' — saying it's like telling your dad 'Look at you, you're a year older, a year closer to death.' Buster: 'Oh yeah, I guess that's kinda funny.'

Buster · Gob:Buster reveals he's not really in the army and needs a military uniform from Gob's stripper connections — leading to a debate about whether strippers wear clothes.

Buster:Buster finds a birthday card: 'Someone wanted to send you a birthday greeting. See you soon!' and calls it 'wicked.'

Buster · Michael:Buster arrives at the wake in a military outfit Gob got from strippers — 'All regulation, Michael. To get the top right, the pants had to be a little snug.'

Narrator · Michael · Buster:Michael remembers what Buster did to 'what he thought was Rose's car with what he thought was Rose's favorite toy.' — Cut to: driver being attacked.

Gob · Buster:I will become my dead father's body... as I am lowered into his grave. / All right. Spin it back around. / Dead father? / Is he de — Dad's dead?

Buster · Gob:Oh, my God! The card! The card! [Spectators Gasping] / Something's gone wrong.

Buster:Buster: 'I'm out of here, right?' after Michael announces George Sr. is alive.

Narrator · Buster:'On the next Arrested Development': Buster finds out about the death of Captain Kangaroo.

Buster · Drill Sergeant:Buster: 'Aren't you supposed to yell at me and call me "homo" and motivate me over this wall?' / Drill Sergeant: 'We can't do that anymore. Lawsuit.'

Gob · Buster:Gob motivating Buster to jump: 'Do it!' / Buster jumps onto Gob and punches him in the chest. Gob: 'Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you'll have more fun.'

Gob · Buster:Gob helping Buster at the playground: 'I totally freaked out in front of that prosecutor today. Like a little girl. In a little dress. Little saddle shoes. Little pigtails.' Buster: 'Wow, that does sound like a little girl.'

Gob · Buster · Narrator:Gob and Buster at the playground: Gob is clearly enjoying pushing Buster on the swings more than intended. Narrator: 'It was fun, but it wasn't making him a better soldier.' Buster: 'Push me higher!'

Buster · Sergeant:News: 'We've obtained photographs that officials call definite proof of WMDs in Iraq.' / Cut to Buster at Army training. Sergeant: 'There's no time for that. We're shipping out without you. Didn't you see? Weapons of mass destruction?'

Buster · Sergeant:Buster: 'Those bastards.' Sergeant: 'I did not say that.' Buster: 'Are you going to let that slide? Are you going to allow your children and your children's children and any children that I might have out there to live in fear for the rest of their lives?!' / Sergeant: 'Climb that wall, homo! Climb it.'

Gob · Buster · George-Michael:Gob and Buster at playground, Gob repeats: 'Now, when you do this without getting punched, you'll have more fun.' George-Michael arrives: 'They found WMDs in Iraq, so we got a half day.'

Buster:Buster, spotting the skill crane game through the bus window: 'That could be good for Army.'

Narrator · Buster:Narrator reveals: 'In fact, Buster never went to the Army. He'd gotten hooked playing the skill crane and missed his first day.'

Lucille · Buster:Lucille to returning Buster: 'There's no shame in being a coward.' Buster: 'A coward? I'm not a coward. Would a coward have this?' [holds up awards] 'These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing.'

Lucille · Buster · Michael:Lucille: 'You have no idea what it's like to be abandoned by your son.' Buster: 'Look who feels the sting of an ungrateful child.' Lucille: 'Mother, you have to receive something to be ungrateful.'

Buster · Gob · Narrator:Buster arrives with the Army crane and 'rescues' Gob — but the narrator warns: 'Unfortunately, Buster's newfound skills did not involve lowering gently.' Gob is hoisted and then slammed down.

Buster · Michael:He said he would help me on this essay for The Old Man and the Sea... You have to read this, and then explain it, and — this is important — say it in my own words. Smart, but not too smart. Let's have a four-syllable max.

Narrator · Buster:[Narrator] And so, Buster was pulled out of combat training and put into U.S.O. training.

Buster:It jolts, but it's not really doing it right now.

Buster · General Anderson:[Buster visits the general] I just wanted to thank you for my new job. [giggles] — What's wrong? — I'm shipping out tomorrow. — I've got just the thing. — Oh. I haven't felt hands like that in years. — You are coming to the front.

Buster · Michael:Buster explains why he's home: 'everybody's out dancing with their girl and I'm home sitting with Mom.' Michael: 'Mom doesn't wanna go dancing?' Buster: 'I think the age difference is really starting to catch up to us.'

Buster:Buster: 'I love my mother. She's one of the two most important people in my life. You know, she and Quincy.'

Starla · Buster:Starla: 'I could never be with a man who doesn't love his mother.' Buster reacts with romantic surprise.

Tobias · Buster:Tobias: 'This place is exactly what I had hoped for.' Cut to: it's a women's bar. Buster: 'All ladies.' Tobias: 'Mmm.'

Lucille 2 · Buster:Lucille 2 grabs Buster and begins spinning. 'And I am rock steady! No more dizzies!' [immediately gets vertigo and falls]

Buster:Buster: 'Well, I would hardly call my mother a girl.' (responding to Lucille 2 asking if there's a girl in his life)

Lucille 2 · Buster:Lucille 2: 'No, I mean, uh, someone who makes you hear music.' Buster: 'Oh. Well, she mostly likes talk radio.'

Lucille 2 · Buster:Lucille 2 tries again: 'and also who makes you hear beautiful music.' Beat. Buster: 'Oh. No.'

Michael · Buster:Lucille locked Buster on the balcony. Michael: 'What tripped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?' Buster: 'That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.'

Michael · Buster:Michael's metaphor to Buster: 'You know, you want something sensible, you end up getting pushed into something flashy.' Buster: 'What does that mean?'

Buster · Starla:Narrator: 'Buster, now convinced that Lucille 2 was the right woman for him, broke up with Starla.' [Buster arrives looking dejected] Starla: 'You okay?' Buster: 'It was for the best anyway. A girl like that deserves to be taken care of, and I'm just a poor soldier.'

Buster · Michael:Michael realizes Buster didn't sell his stock. Buster: 'Your letter said not to, and I would never want to hurt the family.'

Buster · Lucille 2:Flashback: Buster inadvertently bid $10,000 on Lucille 2 at last year's auction.

GOB · Michael · Buster:GOB: 'You just let Sally Sitwell slip away right when she was ready to go.' — then: 'You were scared.' Michael: 'What are you talking about?' Buster falls off his Segway or stumbles. 'I hurt my ankle yesterday shooting hoops or something.'

Buster:Buster arrives at the house with a tranquilizer rifle: 'I got some looks on the bus 'cause of this.'

Buster · Michael:Michael asks if there's a waiting period for the tranquilizer rifle. Buster: 'It turns out there is. Two weeks?' / 'There is a gun show loophole. What timing, huh? Right out back they were having one.'

Buster:Buster defends Starla: 'She is not a whore, Mother. She's the new secretary of the Bluth Company. And yes, she's more experienced than a normal girl. But sometimes love should be terrifying.'

Buster · Narrator:Buster has been using his 'army stealth training' to sneak in and out of Lucille 2's apartment — hiding behind doors, grunting 'Makin' that love.'

Buster:Buster: 'Lucille 2's not a "B," Mother. She's kind, and she's caring, and she's certainly less experienced than that whore that I'm dating now.'

Narrator · Buster:Narrator: 'And perhaps it was screaming it out loud that made Buster realize that he missed Lucille 2.'

Jack Dorso · Buster:Jack mistakes Buster for a war veteran and pins him with a surprise wrestling move, declaring 'I pinned him. I pinned the army man. God bless you for being in the army.'

Jack Dorso · Buster:Is this the boy? Is this the little one? My God, you're an army man. / Well— [Chuckles] / I was never in the army. I was in the pictures.

Buster · Gob:I'm keeping an eye on the woman who controls our company. / In her robe and slippies?

Gob · Buster:Buster: 'But I've lost her trail, and I don't think I have the skills to pick it up.' / Gob: 'Skills?' [grunts; demonstrates army moves]

Gob · Buster:Buster and Gob, following Lucille 2, lost track of her because 'everyone put on white robes and outsmarted us.'

Michael · Gob · Buster:Gob's defense of Lucille 2 leads to a confrontation. Michael: 'She's my girlfriend, pal. Take him down, Buster.' Gob: 'Your girlfriend? That's why you were in her robe and slippies. You weren't trying to get into her head. You were trying to get into her... robe and slippies.'

Buster · Lucille:Lucille and Buster have hired a photographer for their beach meeting. 'We haven't done this since the Balboa Bay Window magazine.'

Buster · Lucille:Buster: 'I was 30 years old then, Mother. I'm 32 now!' — correcting Lucille's claim about his age while explaining why he's going to war.

Buster:Buster's response to the paternity reveal: 'You lied to me. Uncle Oscar's my father. He just told me so. And maybe you're not even my real mother. For all I know, Lucille 2 is my real mother.'

Buster:Buster: 'Well, here's something you should know. I'm going to war!' — shouted triumphantly as an act of rebellion.

Narrator · Buster:[On the Next] 'Loose seal! Watch out for loose seal!' / 'I don't care about Lucille! She lies!' / Narrator: 'And then a seal bites off his hand.'

Narrator · Buster:Buster was attacked by 'a loose seal' — audio of seal barking.

Buster:Buster: 'Actually, I'm relieved. I don't have to go to army because the seal with the bow tie attacked me. I feel like I've lost three pounds.'

Buster · Lucille:Buster mentions 'the seal with the bow tie' that attacked him. Lucille: 'Seal with the bow tie?'

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'And my hand is off to you.' Then hysterical laughter from himself, forced laughter from Michael.

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'A seal didn't bite your Linus off, did it?' Michael: 'No, a seal didn't bite my Linus off.'

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'Then go to her. Ask for her hand.' Michael: 'And maybe I'll get one for my brother while I'm at it.'

Buster · Michael · Lucille:Buster's hook (temporary prosthetic) gets caught and causes him to scream. Everyone panics. 'Whose idea was the temporary hand?'

Buster:Buster's sudden screaming outburst after the laughing — 'Get the [bleep] out of my room!'

Buster · Family:Buster comes home from hospital. 'Let's all give me a big hand!' Family reacts with forced, horrified laughter.

Gob · Buster:Gob: 'How the hell would a seal know how to tie a bow tie anyway? I can barely tie the yellow one that I wear in my act.' Buster: 'This one had a yellow bow tie!'

Narrator · Buster:Narrator: 'It was at that exact moment that Buster did forget he'd lost his hand.' — as Buster's prosthetic hook catches in something and he screams.

Buster:Buster realizes the prosthetic hook has caught in something and screams: 'I'm a monster!'

Gob · Buster · Narrator:Gob confesses to Buster that the seal was his, gives a tearful truth-telling moment. Buster: 'You did this to me?' Gob: 'Yeah.' Narrator: 'And Gob was about to experience something that didn't feel that good.'

Narrator · Buster · Gob · Doctor:On the next AD: Buster and Gob 'find themselves closer than ever' after Gob's hook is lodged in Buster's ass. Doctor: 'You've still got a hook in your ass.'

Buster:Buster seeing reminders of the accident everywhere — gasping and screaming at innocuous objects — visual gag montage

Buster:Buster: 'Mother, I can't sleep. I may not be able to go to dance practice today.'

George Michael · Buster:George Michael playing checkers with Buster — 'King me.' / [Gasps] / 'Oh, God! I keep forgetting about this.'

Lucille · Buster · George Michael:George Michael asks if Buster offered a bowl of soup; Lucille asks 'Can it open a can?' — referring to Buster's hook — and both Buster and Lucille react with horror: 'Oh, God!'

Gob · Michael · Buster:Buster arrives at the dock by crashing through the car window — Gob: 'Or we could make sure it's the right seal first? I mean, why get his hopes up?'

Buster · Michael · Gob:Buster enters with his hook: 'I really hate this stupid hook. But I certainly can't walk around like this.' / Michael/Gob: 'Why not? / Very handsome.'

Buster:Buster: 'I would love to be able to say "Look what I've had reattached while you and George Michael were off to Motherboy."'

Buster:'He couldn't wait to swoop in and throw on that sailor suit, because he's not damaged goods.'

Michael · Buster:Michael asks if Lucille Bluth checked in; the desk clerk says no — Michael: 'She knows you're after her.' / Buster: 'She does?'

Michael · Buster · Random Boy:Michael and Buster mistake another mother-son pair in matching outfits and try to rescue the boy: 'Take me with you! No, please! Please!' / 'It's the wrong child.'

Buster:Buster explains Lucille's changing behavior: 'Whenever she changed clothes, she made me wait on the balcony until zip-up.' / 'And yet, anything goes at bath time.'

Buster:Buster: '...And yet, anything goes at bath time.' [Chuckles]

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'I have an idea. It is time I used something I trained for in army, but I never got a chance to do.' / Michael: 'You cannot zip-line over there!'

Buster:'Either I zip down or he zips up! And that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. You have to get on your knees to start it.'

Buster · Lucille:Buster zip-lines across the hotel gap, screaming — crashes — and Lucille immediately calls 'Zip me up.' from offscreen

Buster:Buster: 'Gypsies.' [seeing Lucille and George Michael in gypsy costumes]

Michael · Buster · Narrator:Michael: 'I create a diversion, and you grab George Michael and go. We need a name.' / Buster: 'Maybe "Operation Hot Mother."' / Narrator: 'No, let's try to top that.' / Narrator: 'They never did.'

Buster · MC:Buster gets his hook caught on a sandbag during Operation Hot Mother and is hoisted into the air, whimpering, while the Motherboy announcer covers: 'Our curtain seems to be stuck. We're going to do some freestyle waltzing while we get it fixed.'

Michael · Buster:Michael to Buster: 'I thought that you would be a little different, but you're not. I was wrong, okay? I'm sorry. You know, you're as good a brother as you ever were.'

Buster:Buster, moved: '[Groaning] Thank you.' / 'I am no different. I am the same old Motherboy.'

Buster:Buster announces: 'Boys' choice? That is, if you're not embarrassed to take my hook.'

Buster · George Michael:Buster: 'Boys' choice? That is, if you're not embarrassed to take my hook.' — leading George Michael in a waltz

Michael · Buster · George Michael · Narrator:Michael, Buster, and George Michael arrive at the Promise Land — Buster holds a 'Saddest' trophy

Michael · Buster:Michael: 'That was a very competitive category.' / Buster: 'Oh, don't I know it.'

Buster:Buster can't get out of the car: 'I can't get out, actually.'

Maeby · Buster · Narrator:Maeby tells a campfire horror story: 'Knock, scrape. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call!' / Buster appears: 'Hey, campers.' / Kids scream. / 'I'm a monster!'

Buster · Narrator:Buster videotaped himself recreating moments from Chicago — then also liked Star Wars — visual of Buster in a full dance costume, then presumably with a lightsaber

Narrator · Buster:Narrator: 'He also liked Star Wars.' — after showing Buster's elaborate Chicago dance video

Buster:Buster using a hook hand to do a puzzle: 'Oh, God. I can't put the aorta in with this thing.' / Buster yells dramatically: 'I'm sorry I'm an inconvenience to you, Mother.'

Lucille · Buster:Lucille fires Lupe: 'You're fired!' / Buster: 'You can't fire me, I'm your son.' / Lucille: 'I'm firing Lupe.' / Buster: 'Well, that makes more sense.'

Buster:Buster is vacuuming with the Roomba strapped to his hook arm: 'What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!'

Buster · Gob:Buster finally feels like 'a real person, not some deformed—' then screams when Gob notices his hook and calls him 'Elephant Man'

Buster:Buster's mechanical Halloween hand whirs and waves uncontrollably as an 'outfit' during the magic show setup

Tony Wonder · Buster:Tony Wonder whispers his trick to Buster: 'I folded it up into some squares, and I put it in a pouch under my shirt and then I pull it out' — then 'Keep it to yourself'

Tony Wonder · Buster:Tony Wonder gets poked in the eye by Buster's mechanical hand and screams 'My eye!'

Gob · Buster:Gob says 'And now our magic trick.' Buster replies 'Illusion.' Gob: 'Silence, slave!'

Buster · Gob:Buster hands Gob the sword 'It's a real sword, master.' The crowd applauds when they realize — Gob: 'We've got 'em. I'm gonna milk this for a minute.'

Gob · Buster:Gob: 'May I have the trick sword, please?' Buster: 'It's a real sword, master.' [Light applause from audience]

Gob · Buster:Buster's mechanical hand grabs Gob's sword arm and won't let go; Gob screams 'My hand! My hand!' and the crowd applauds thinking it's the trick

Gob · Tony Wonder · Buster:Gob dramatically declares he and Buster are inseparable: 'My assistant is my partner. I need him.' — immediately followed by Tony asking 'For what, Buster?'

Tony Wonder · Buster:Tony Wonder on Buster's mechanical hand dance moves: 'Check out those moves you're doin', man. They're in their own orbit.'

Buster:Buster's wistful reaction to Tony's missed trick opportunity: 'Oh, I was really hoping for a graham cracker. That would have been a good spot for a trick.'

Gob · Buster:Buster hands Gob the sword — blade first. 'Handle first. Handle first.' [Screams] — Gob's fingers are cut off

Buster · Gob:Buster hands Gob the real Sword of Destiny blade-first. 'Handle first. Handle first.' [Screams] 'Oh, my fingers! He cut off my fingers!'

Buster:Well, he didn't return when I lost my hand. But you not only embrace it, but I saw you kissing it while you thought I was sleeping.

Tobias · Buster · Lucille:Sorry. Just stuffing the mushroom. / You realize that's Tobias, don't you? / If he's gonna raid my closet, he's gonna work for it.

Lucille · Buster:Who you callin' brother, you hook-ass — / Mother! / [Horn Blows] [Groaning]

Narrator · Buster:[On the next Arrested Development] Buster finds someone else interested in kissing his hook. / Oh, God! / Drug dog's got something. Get him, Bennett!

Narrator · Buster:Narrator: 'Not so. Buster had once videotaped himself re-creating moments from his then-favorite film, Chicago.' / [Buster trilling and dancing] / 'He also liked Star Wars.'

Buster · Lucille:Buster complaining about his hook arm: 'I can't put the aorta in with this thing.' / Lucille: 'Oh, stop complaining.' / Buster: 'I'm sorry I'm an inconvenience to you, Mother.'

Lucille · Buster:Lucille screams in horror at Buster's prosthetic/stump situation; Buster whimpers

Lucille · Buster · Lupe:Lucille fires Lupe — but Buster says he's firing her too, then Lucille clarifies: 'I was firing Lupe!' / Buster: 'Well, that makes more sense.'

Lucille · Buster · Lupe:Lucille discovers Buster being tended to by Lupe — 'And yet you're too good to polish the candlesticks?'

Buster · Lucille:Lucille says 'Robot'll get it' and the Roomba has knocked Lucille's (Buster's mother's) glass over — [Gasps, Robot Powers Down] Buster: 'What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!'

Narrator · Oscar · Buster:Oscar secretly believes Buster to be his natural son — and greets him warmly saying 'Hey, Uncle.' Oscar replies 'I feel so responsible for that.'

Narrator · Oscar · George Sr. · Buster:Oscar getting injured on a shoddy device George Sr. invented — when he forgot Buster was wearing a prosthetic hand. 'Buster! The Cornballer!'

Oscar · Buster:Oscar: 'Buster! Be careful!' Buster: 'It's not a real hand, remember?' Oscar: 'I'm so forgetful. I hope you don't get that from me.'

Oscar · Buster:Oscar burns himself on the Cornballer after Buster's prosthetic redirects the danger: '[Sizzling] [Screams] Just forget it! I wanted to share my Pop Secret with you. Oh, but forget it!'

Buster:Buster: 'Pop secret? Pop se- Is Oscar my real father?'

Buster · Lindsay:Buster arrives: 'Where's Mother?' / Lindsay: 'You lied to me. You said my father was my father, but my uncle is my father. My father is my uncle!'

Lindsay · Buster:Lindsay: 'Guess who I just found out my father is?' Buster: 'Jail?'

Buster:Buster: 'I'm going to take a long shower. I don't even want to smell like Mother anymore.'

Lucille · Buster:Lucille discovers Buster has been sleeping in the car the whole trip — having made a recording of his own snoring to avoid detection

Lucille · Buster:Lucille offers to drop Buster 'by this light' — Buster: 'Or I could come with you.'

Buster:Lucille and Buster's cabin car scene: 'This is just like when we used to live up in the attic.'

Buster:Buster describes feeling like the Invisible Man: 'Hello! Can anyone see me?' — while physically missing his hand.

Buster · Lucille:I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. / You certainly have a type.

Buster · Michael:Can't you keep my hand to yourself? / 'Used it for something'?

Buster · Lucille:Buster's hook getting stuck in the prize hole: 'Oh, it got stuck in the prize hole again.' — 'I told you not to play that stupid game anymore.' — 'I wasn't playing it. I was just trying to get my other one back.'

Buster · Narrator:'That spells Army' — Buster discovering that 'At Risk Male Youth' is an acronym for ARMY

Michael · Buster:Michael: 'I think I'm gonna go get one of those corn dog crosses.' Buster: 'With all the crucifixins?'

Buster · Gob · Steve Holt:'On the next Arrested Development': Buster signs Steve Holt up for the Army — 'I'm finally ready to be a father to you. I know that now.' Steve: 'I don't go in for another two years.' Gob: 'Well, as your father, can't I sign something?'

Buster · Michael · Lucille:Godzirra! — Just sit down. — Okay, guys. — Godzirra!

Buster · Michael:What doesn't make any sense is why she's dating you. — No, that's a good point.

Buster:If mother sees this, she will blow a cow.

Buster · Narrator:Maybe we could build our Tiny Town together. Do you want to, Dad? — Buster had always wanted to do the same with Gob.

Buster · Gob · Narrator:I'm really glad that we're doing this together. I've never felt so close to you. — Oh! I feel the same way. — He's crying now. — Oh, God, look at us. We're like a couple of girls on the last day of camp.

Gob · Buster:They destroyed our town. — But they can't take away our memories.

Buster · Lucille · Gob:Oh! I've had... the time of my life. — I think he's being sarcastic, Gob. — No, I'm not, Mother. I mean lover.

Buster:I like making love to Mother. — I mean lover!

Buster:Buster sings 'Domo arigato, Mister Roboto' while his hook-less arm is stuck in the staircar.

Buster · Lucille:She has a name, Mother. / And it's 'Mother.'

Buster · Narrator:Stay in this box that Uncle/Father Oscar left behind. / In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana.

Oscar · Buster:Oh, good, you've already got grass. / Primo bud. Real sticky weed. / Although I was getting a little worried because she was moving really slowly last week. And then she stopped.

Buster · Oscar:Uncle/Father Oscar? What are you doing here? / Well, you know me. I could never leave a little bud behind.

Buster:My turtle was living in it before he ate all the grass and died.

Oscar · Buster:He ate all the grass? / Yeah. / Well, it's been great catching up.

Buster:Oh, get in the cage and hide behind the mirror, it'll look empty.

Michael · Buster:I got some bad news about Mom. She's planning on spending the night with another man. / Gob? / No, not another brother.

Buster:Oh, then why do we care?

Buster:Hey, Father/Uncle Dad.

Narrator · Buster:Buster tries to forget his recent losses by breaking out the old guitar.

Narrator · Buster:The job was at an Iraqi-owned toy store that was hoping to deter shoplifting. / [visual: Buster with a hook hand standing by a store entrance] / They only wanted me because I had one hand. And I won't do it!

Buster:I stole the sign. Of course, I left my hand there, also.

Buster · Michael:There she is. / She wants to know where you want to put her. / She can take my room. / She wants to know if I can sleep there, too. She said that's very important to her.

Buster:You better not lock it! I'll kick it in! / Oh, by the way, doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. / I was like, 'Make it two weeks! See if I care!'

Michael · Buster · J. Walter Weatherman:Got a new hand? / Oh, yeah, I'm trying it out. Guess who I ran into at the prosthetics shop while I was waiting for Mother. / Sorry, no refunds. And that's why you don't take your foot out of its wrapper.

J. Walter Weatherman · Buster:You one of George Bluth's kids? Hey... I guess you'll be scaring children yourself now. / As a matter of fact, I won't. If anything, it strengthened my resolve to be more than just a one-armed man.

Buster:Even if it means me never taking a job again.

Narrator · Buster:Children were neither to be seen nor heard at the school Buster had attended — the Milford Academy.

Lucille · Narrator · Buster:He's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz. / Tin man? / Is that what he's called? / He knows.

Narrator · Buster:You can say what you want about the Milford Academy — the kids that came out of there were prepared for life. / Does anyone know how to eat one of these?

Buster:I walked. I tried hitchhiking, but it's hard to do without a thumb.

Buster · Lindsay:It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. / It's hot ham water.

Buster · Lucille:Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me, or is she looking hotter, too? / Well, why don't you marry her? / Maybe I will!

Buster · Lucille · Buster:Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me, or is she looking hotter, too? Well, why don't you marry her? Maybe I will!

Narrator · Buster:Oh, and then that old racist woman choked on Buster's thumb. My thumb!

Buster:Not cool, Mom.

Michael · Buster:No one is going to lie on that stand. And no one is going to betray the family. / [Cut to: Buster rocking and humming nervously]

Buster:I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better, 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth.

Buster:Never let me die.

Buster:Now, will you please turn on the Cartoon Network and get the hell out of here.

George Sr. · Buster:Okay, faker, I'm cutting the cord. / I'll see you at the snack machine.

Doctor · Buster:Buster in fake coma — doctor works to revive him dramatically / 'Don't you die. Don't you die on me.'

Buster · Maeby:Buster tells Maeby about the surprise party immediately, saying 'They wouldn't forget your 16th birthday.'

Buster · Narrator:Buster is serving as a 'live body' for medical students, a human canvas for beauticians, AND a set of teeth for at-risk youth dental trainees — all while 'in a coma.'

Narrator · Buster:Narrator: 'That's okay, you put too much collagen in there. No, no, try it again.' — describing beauticians practicing on the comatose Buster.

Narrator · Buster · Dogbone:Dental student named 'Dogbone' has his forearm on Buster's windpipe. Instructor: 'Oops, you've got your forearm right on his windpipe there, Dogbone.' Narrator: 'It really was amazing for their self-esteem.'

Buster · Adelaide · Narrator:Adelaide tells Buster: 'Take a single step to show me your love, Gary.' — then Buster, who has been on his back for weeks, actually tries to step and falls. Narrator: 'It was love that made Gary take that step. Of course, he hadn't used his legs in three weeks.'

Buster:Buster: 'I'm not faking it, Michael. I really am this expressionless.'

Buster · Michael:Buster claims to speak Arabic. Michael: 'You speak Arabic?' Buster: 'La-ach-ha-tem.' Michael: 'What's that mean?' Buster: 'No, I was just clearing my throat, but I think it actually does mean laundry but like, a child's laundry. We don't really have a word for it.'

Buster:Buster: 'When I miss your lips, I'll put a fig in my mouth and think of you. They have figs over there, right?'

Narrator · Buster:Narrator describes arriving in Iraq, then: 'He said he's taking surface streets to LAX because the freeway's backed up all the way to Knott's Berry Farm.' — the cab driver is navigating Los Angeles while purportedly in Baghdad.

Buster · Narrator:Buster, instead of a cab, 'hired them the only rickshaw in Baghdad.'

Buster · Michael:Buster tells Michael: 'You might not even be related to us... 'Cause Gangee once said to me, your mom might not have ever even been pregnant with you.'

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'Okay, now you're just saying that to make me feel better.' / Michael: 'No, I'm... I wouldn't.' / Buster: 'Everyone still loves you. Some more than others.'

Michael · Buster:Michael: 'Okay, now you're just saying that to make me feel better.' Buster: 'No, I... I wouldn't.' — Michael treating 'you might not be our relative' as a comforting fib.

CIA Agent · Michael · Gob · Buster:CIA agent: 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you guys out.' Michael: 'Take us out? Where?' Gob: 'I could really go for some Italian.' Buster: 'There is an Olive Garden in Mamoon.' Michael: 'I think he means to shoot you in the head.'

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'Looks like you are a hero, Buster.' — addressing himself. Michael: 'We both are.' Buster: 'Well...'

Lucille · Buster:Look at that, Buster. You would have lost a hand anyway.

Buster:Oh, I'm not comfortable near the ocean since the seal attack. The ocean is my second biggest fear.

Michael · Buster · Lindsay:A 40-year-old woman has as much chance of getting married as she does of getting attacked by a shark. / Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were going to say seal. / Or a seal. / Oh, God!

Tobias · Michael · Buster:We're having it at the Queen Mary. / Queen Mary? That's a ship. / Oh, no, no, no. It's a chain of popular nightclubs. / Although I haven't been to this particular location. / It's on the Long Beach Harbor. / That's the ship. / Don't worry about it. They've actually welded it to the dock.

George Sr. · Buster:Do you think there's any chance this ship could break away from the dock? / We're on a ship?

Maeby · Buster:Maeby trying to get people to sign her TV release forms by calling it a petition to make TV better.

Buster:Oh, I kind of like Skating with Celebrities.

Michael · Buster:Buster, who faced his biggest fear to be here today. / Second biggest.

Michael · Buster:Buster, who faced his biggest fear to be here today. / Second biggest.

Various · Narrator · Buster:It's moving! Oh, my God! / And Buster faced his second biggest fear. / I can't swim! I can't swim! / And then his first.

Buster:It's moving! Oh, my God!

Buster:Oh, come on!

Narrator · Buster:Narrator explains that Buster made the property map 'as a cartography student, because the class where you get to see naked people and draw them was full'

Narrator · Buster · Gob:...she was at least able to turn a man's head... Gentlemen, start your engines. ...although, perhaps had his head not turned... Buster. ...he would have seen the ostrich warning on the door. No, Gob. Oh!

Buster · Narrator:Buster (in Thing suit): 'The only thing that can destroy me... water.' / Narrator: 'Nice ad-lib.' / Buster: 'Not an ad-lib... I can't swim.'

Buster:They're for Cinco. In case you wanted to make confetti out of something other than the pictures that they sell of the chubby Linda Ronstadt.

Buster · Narrator:I'm with a beautiful, elegant woman! / And I think we should take it to the next level.

Buster:Wait! She doesn't have her makeup! I have her lipstick! Mother!

Buster · Narrator:Mother is going to come waltzing through that door any day now, and she is going to be screaming, 'Make sure you frisk that girl before…' [cut to silence]

Buster:You have reduced. Well, you're not that skinny. Welcome home, chubs. Oh, you will kill me for that. And I don't want that blood on my hands.

Buster · Narrator:Buster talking to the Lucille dummy/stand-in: 'Buster, you always come through.' / 'Oh, Mother, that's so nice.' / 'No, no, I mean it. It's amazing work.' / 'But he knew it wasn't real. Okay, I need to stop, or I'm going to be committed.'

Buster:And then the waiter came back, and he said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Who are you?' And I said, 'I'm Buster Bluth. That's the fourth time I've told you.'

Buster:Dancing with the Stars has gone completely downhill.

Buster:This pasta's way overcooked, Buster! / Well, you didn't leave me the simplest recipe, Mother.

Buster · Lucille:Guess the Fur — the one you got after Dad had the affair with the chubby intern from Riverside.

Buster:Right to the smokes, huh? Give me a minute. Let me catch my breath.

Buster:You've managed to combine people's fear of homosexuals and eels into one alibi.

Buster:I couldn't find my Army uniform. Oh, but I thought the jury might like it if I show up as John-John Kennedy.

Lucille · Buster:Oh, yeah, that went over great last time. And it was offensive. Half your testicle was hanging out of that thing. Good! I'm glad they saw it.

Buster · Lucille:You're a hot mess! / You're a hot mess!

Buster:I'm going to the park!

Lucille 2 · Buster:00 in the afternoon. / 00 a.m. somewhere. / Oh, I forgot... your mother wouldn't allow it. / I don't care what she wants. / Don't care what she wants. / I don't do everything she tells me. Let's get juiced.

Lucille 2 · Buster:Lucille 2: 'It's 2:00 in the afternoon.' / Buster: '2:00 a.m. somewhere.' — misapplying the 'it's 5:00 somewhere' logic

Buster:Key witness! Key witness coming through. I'm a key… I… I was making two ban…

Buster:Late last night, it was drizzling rain! I'm a key witness.

Buster:Is it over? / No, no, the grab-a-crab fest just started. / Grab-a-crab? / Oh, ma'am, um… is… is there a verdict in the 'my mother stole the Queen Mary' thing?

Lucille · Buster:I'm serving three to five. / Like the saltless pie?

Buster:Buster's response to being told no one will hear his screams: 'Won't miss it!' — defiantly, then immediately looking lost

Buster:I love to hear all about your medications and ailments and whatnot. Is that baby toe of yours still crawling over the others like a weird weed?

Buster · Lucille 2:So, that pretend kid's bedroom, is that not an option…? / No, that room is all storage now, honey.

Narrator · Lucille 2 · Buster:Did you hear it? / Wait. Did you just drop the 2 after my name? / Oh, I hope not. That would be creepy.

Narrator · Prison Guard · Buster:He even pretended to be an old college flame of Lucille's to gain admittance. / Alex Trebek? / She then rephrased it in the form of a question. / Who is Alex Trebek?

Buster:Do you have a pie or a small sponge cake available?

Lucille 2 · Buster:I hope you are in the mood for a hot tomato. / Mmm. Soup? / With little grilled cheese sandwiches on the side. / Buster, that was innuendo. / Oh. My Lord, it's like we're speaking different languages here.

Buster · Lucille 2:Is this another one of those nights where nothing is as it seems and there's no cream pie for dessert? / Holy Toledo, Buster, sometimes I think I'm nothing but a Horn & Hardart to you. / Oh! What happened to innuendo? / Let's do it quick. / It's an old restaurant. / Oh! A restaurant! / I don't care if it's old! Look who I'm dating! Let's go there. Let's go there now.

Lucille 2 · Buster:Buster, you can either be a son or a lover… and right now, you're no good to me as a lover. / Maybe you're right. Maybe this has been wrong from the start. / So… Mom. / Out.

Buster:This is my Motherboy Four medal. That's when I was a kangaroo in her pouch. What'll you give me for it?

Buster · Army Recruiters:As it turned out, Buster returned on the very day the Army policy regarding sexual orientation had changed. / Are you gay? / No. / You can tell me. / I'm not. / It's okay. / Drew, tell him. / I'm gay. / Oh. / Peter's gay. / Oh… / Sergeant Melnick's gay. / Oh. / Bi. / Oh, sorry, he's bi. / No, I'm going home for the day. / I'm gay. / Yeah, it really makes no difference to us. / We'll find something for you.

Buster · Army Recruiter · Drew · Peter · Sergeant Melnick:Army recruiting scene: 'Are you gay?' / 'No.' / 'You can tell me.' / 'I'm not.' / 'It's okay.' / 'Drew, tell him.' / 'I'm gay.' / 'Peter's gay.' / 'Sergeant Melnick's gay.' / 'Bi.' / 'Sorry, he's bi.' / 'No, I'm going home for the day.' / 'I'm gay.' — all regarding the policy change

Buster · Narrator:Oh, yeah, that plane was in Afghanistan. / It seems the Army had taken advantage of Buster's childlike interest in games… and his childlike inability to distinguish between games and reality.

Buster:This is so much more fun than 'Guess the Fur.'

Buster · Narrator:You're not gonna get away from me, little nurse! Aah! He had been playing for 47 straight hours.

Buster:Take that, Taliban wedding!

Army Officer · Buster:Hey, Bluth, you just took out an art museum in Madrid. / Oh, you can go to Spain in this thing?

Army Officer · Buster:Maybe you should take a break. You could've hurt some innocent people. / Innocent people?! You mean I've been hurting guilty people?!

Lucille · Buster:So you fell out of a chair, and for this, the government gives you applause? / No… a big hand.

Lucille · Buster · Army Officer:Why does it have to be so big? / Well, they said the miniaturization comes later. / I mean, you remember how big your first cell phone was. / That was a phone. This looks like you're pointing to a place that buys your gold.

Lucille · Buster:Once you learn how to use that thing, they're going to turn you into a killing monster. / Monster…? / This doesn't make me look sexy. / Throw it out.

Buster · Rehab Staff:Bionic arm rehab sequence — 'Too hard.' / 'Oh, I got some on you.' / 'Yeah, you did get some on me.' / 'That's on her.' / 'It was too hard, as well.'

Buster · Therapist:Physical therapy: Buster uses new hand, immediately gets 'toothpaste on her' — therapist repeats 'too hard... too hard' multiple times in escalating awkwardness

Buster · Rehab Staff:Let's go ahead and fast-forward through the commercials. / Okay, that's too fa… okay, stop. / Well, there's Jon Cryer. / Stop! That's Jon Cryer! / Well, look at that… we're back at the Progressive Insurance lady. / I'm better off just watching the commercials!

Buster · Army Staff:Do you have any ice cream? / Maybe it would work with ice cream. / And now he wants ice cream. / He's using us.

Army Staff · Buster · Narrator:I'm sorry, we're running behind with your testing, Buster. We'll just be a few more minutes. / Oh… well…! / And it was then that Gunner learned why it was called the Q-test. / Aren't you the 'cu-test'?

Buster · Army Officers:The Q-test: Buster sees an attractive female therapist through a two-way mirror and the test name is revealed — 'Aren't you the cu-test?'

Army Staff · Buster:Now, he can't see us at all… that's correct? / I know! / Why wouldn't he be able to see us? / Because it's a mirror. / No, it's a window. / Oh, hi.

Narrator · Buster · Army Officer:Buster was being discharged from the Army. / So where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do? I have nowhere to live. / You should've thought about that before you let that cat live.

Ophelia Love · Buster:You're a veteran and you have nowhere to go? / Oh, it's not Army's fault. / I'm a monster. / And what makes you think you're a monster? / What do you see when you look at this? / I see a veteran whose hand I'd like to shake. / Not that one.

Buster:Perfect! Wait, you didn't say 'nothing,' did you? / Something. / 'Something.' Got it.

Buster · Bullies · Student:This table is for National Honor Society members only. / Really. / Well, what about these two guys? / Were they invited? / Light drizzle… and thunder. / What?! / See, light drizzle will just annoy you, but see, thunder… will 'F' you up!

Buster:Pour in the liquor… Don't want the boys to see… You throw in some cola… Got a Coke and Hennessy! Just for you, Mother Love.

Ophelia Love · Buster:But your other hand is waving me on. / Oh, is that going again? / I think it's on demo. / Do you have a pencil or a paper clip?

Herbert Love · Buster:Let me show you what a government handout looks like. / Hold your government hand out. / Yeah! And let's give freedom from government a big thumbs-up!

Herbert Love · Buster:It's like I said about contraception: If you want me to pay for her diaphragm, I get to put my hand in her… / Shoe! / Nice stop, Blind Side Monster. / Buster… Blind Side Buster.

Crowd · Buster:Give him a big hand back! [Buster's bionic arm does something dramatic]

Ophelia Love · Buster:You've been flirting with me since day one. What? Bringing me these flowers, offering to undress me. What about the singing? 'Sealed with a kiss' through the door while I bathed? / Right. / Mother stuff. / I mean, you're married.

Buster:Buster: 'Right. Mother stuff.' — dismissing all his romantic behavior as maternal-bonding activities

Ophelia Love · Buster:That is my husband, with a prostitute. / I've worn a captain's hat with someone who had hair like that.

Buster · Lucille:I came here to thank you. You were trying to push me out of the nest… and you were right. / Really? / Yes. I've grown. And I'm in love. / Hamster or turtle? / No, Mother. Hamsters are gross. / It's a female. / Human. Female human. Whole thing.

Buster · Lucille:So your parental responsibilities are complete. Hot. / I no longer need you. / Well, you don't have to go that far. / I'm not a mother boy anymore. I'm a mother man.

Buster · Michael:And do you want to hear something so surprising? She started out as my mother figure. / Not surprising.

Buster:After I've zipped down, you can't expect me to zip up! / I know that. / But you have to leave.

Buster:Oh, no, I'm okay with the mothering. I mean, he had you first, I'm here to stay. / It's just a little mother/son bump in the road. / Mother, I ain't going nowhere. / Your hand is broken again. / No, it's just my heart. / Oh, it's my hand, too, actually.

Buster · Ophelia Love:Who is a better lover? / He is. / He is. Okay. / What about son?!

Buster · Ophelia Love:Buster: 'Who is a better lover?' / Ophelia: 'He is.' / Buster: 'He is. Okay.' / Buster: 'What about son?!'

Buster · Narrator:But not before using the wrong hand to punch a picture of Herbert. / Stupid Bust…!

Buster · Tobias:But I've got to find Lucille 2, I've got to give her pictures. / I don't know the songs. / It's prerecorded. / You're a monster, you don't have to be any good. / What? / Now just go Thing your heart out and don't be put off by the freakishly large…

Buster · Lucille 2:Yes. / I've been with a black woman. / I was talking about your hand. / Oh. This huge thing? Yeah, it's new. / Of course, the week after I got it, the six came out. / You can play a flute with that one. / It comes with a flute!

Buster:And he's gotten himself in some pretty hot ham water this time.

Buster:Buster: 'That's my wig.' — reacting to seeing the prostitute in Herbert's photo is wearing a wig he apparently recognizes

Buster · Lucille 2:Well, I hurt my mother, didn't I? I missed her trial, and she cut me out of her life. But I'm over that! / Really? / Then you have me to thank for that. / What do you mean? / Oh, Buster, you think missing her trial was an accident?

Narrator · Buster:And soon, the partying was off the hook, with Buster drinking right out of the box. / Oh, this is just like Mother's Day Eve!

Buster:I mean, how do you miss a sign like that? / Oh. / I was tinkling!

Buster · Lucille 2:You kept me from mother? You sent her to prison? And this whole time, I thought about getting back together with you. / Well, you're a little late, honey. I've been dating your father for the past couple of weeks.

Buster · Narrator:Hey! I need to punch something! / Even if it is a poor little donkey. / But it wasn't that kind of donkey punch.

Buster · Gene Parmesan:Oh, I need some juice. / Perhaps uno mas, señor, to feed to the fishes?

Buster:Oh, no. / I'm in the movie. / Oh, no.

Buster:Buster, seeing himself on security camera footage of his rampage: 'Oh, no. I'm in the movie. Oh, no.'

Buster:Have you got one with a case?

Buster · Narrator:Buster goes into action and attempts to Fakeblock the footage. / Oh. / Sounds like it's working.

Buster · Narrator:Winner of 1982's Least Seen on Campus.

Buster:I wish I could've seen their faces at the ceremony.

Michael · Buster:show your hand / This is one of only two things the Army warns us about when they issue these.

Buster · Michael:Maybe that's a role I can play in your life. Don't say... Mom. Mmm.

Buster:Well, I lived with Mother. Did you think we were dating?

Buster:Should I not say that?

Buster · Michael:What? In person? Yeah. Uh, no. On the phone.

Michael · Buster:Maybe have a full psych panel while you're in there, too. Oh, those things are so easy to beat.

Buster:APB. 'Aw, poor Buster.'

Buster · Michael:[Buster laughs] What's so funny? You always come back to save the family. We joke about that all the time.

Buster:Buster's extended Michael impression: 'Hi, I'm Michael, and I save everyone so I feel special, even though you don't deserve it. I'm leaving. I won't be coming back. Look who's back.'

Buster:Okay, like, bad example, I saw Lucille 2's lifeless body sprawled across the stair car?

Michael · Buster:She's gonna be as dry as, uh... well, Lucille 1. I can hear Mother winking now.

Michael · Buster:You already got into the candy bears, huh? This is literally one of only two things the Army warns about when they issue these.

Michael · Buster:You already got into the candy bears, huh? / This is literally one of only two things the Army warns about when they issue these.

Buster · Tobias:I shall be neither seen nor heard. I blue myself. It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened. I heard the jury's still out on science.

Buster:I mean, that guy obviously has a giant rubber hand, and I have a giant melted hand that smells like Bounce.

Buster:I'm just surprised to see it, since I'm pretty sure I erased that video.

Michael · Buster:Michael finds Buster at the police station just as he declared he was leaving to focus on his son. The awkward coincidence of Buster being right there as Michael exits.

Narrator · Buster:And Buster wonders why Michael isn't doing Michael. Why hasn't Michael come back? What happened to 'Michael always comes back'?

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'I can smell her on you.' / Michael: 'Ah. Right. I forgot, you're good at that.' / The story about Buster being lost in Nordstrom's because Lucille changed her perfume.

Buster · Michael:'He should never have lost his job for that. What happened? He was just giving me a Fanta! I know I should've spoken up for him, but I was only a boy. Barely out of my teens. I didn't...' 'Currently.'

Michael · Buster:Michael: 'Yeah. That never happened.' Buster: 'It was at Nordstrom's...' Michael: 'Yes. And we found you in the break room with the Chanel man.'

Buster:Buster explains he was supposed to 'lay low' by going to the station and saying he wasn't missing. 'That's what I did. I was supposed to be mother bait, but mother never came to pick me up.'

Buster:Buster told police Lucille 2 was 'dead.' 'Maybe they said dead and I said I wish.' / 'Why'd you do that?' / 'I thought it was funny.'

Buster · Narrator:Buster tried to erase the security tape using Fakeblock — his nephew's fake software. 'Unfortunately, to do so, he used his nephew's software, Fakeblock, which was fake, so it couldn't block anything. But it was easy to dance to.'

Buster:Buster's hand was metal-strapped because 'people were using it to make tattoos when I was asleep.' The other strap: 'This is so I don't take the strap off.'

Buster · Michael:Buster waived his rights to an attorney. 'What for?' / 'You told me to.' / 'Plus, I didn't want the evidence guy to have walked all that way for nothing.'

Buster · Narrator:The family gathers under a banner 'they'd been repurposing' for Buster's party — 'customized to Buster's limited palate.' Buster orders: 'I guess I'll take a hamburger with two tops.'

Buster:'I guess I'll take a hamburger with two tops.'

George Sr. · Buster:George Sr. gives Buster prison survival advice: 'Skinhead gets in your face, you charge back at him. You pop him fast.' / Buster: 'That one there's been giving me looks.' / George Sr.: 'No. That's not a skinhead. That's a guard. You charge at a guard, they'll kill you.'

George Sr. · Buster:George Sr.: 'I can't satisfy her.' / Buster: 'Really? It's so easy.' / George Sr.: 'No, I mean, we are no longer together.'

Buster:Buster: 'They said that I'd lose my old lady, and I said, "Not mother!" "She'll wait for me!"'

George Sr. · Buster:George Sr.: 'The thought of her singing to him goodnight. I can't take it. I can't take it.' / Buster: 'I know. I know.' — both men united in grief over Lucille

Prison Guard · George Sr. · Buster:Prison guard: 'No touching.' — interrupting George Sr. and Buster's emotional moment

Buster · Ron Howard:'On the Next' segment: Ron Howard interviews Buster in jail — Buster remembers George Sr.'s advice and charges at a 'skinhead' who is actually the camera operator

Michael · Buster:She said that I could make up whatever reason I want. You tell me what is easiest on you.

Michael · Buster:Hmm, no, it's too mean. / She hates you, Michael. / We'll use that one. Sure.

Buster:In my case, twice. Well, two times, allegedly. Hey. This falls under client-attorney privilege, right?

Buster · Michael:Or she's busy frolicking on the beach with Dusty, her trophy son. / I should never have put that image in your mind. / The good news is, you thought I said 'frolicking.'

Buster · Michael:Lucille 2's head in a box? / Spooky.

Buster · Michael:Now inside the stair car are two heads. One bald, one spiky. / Spooky.

Michael · Buster · Barry:What's the beach cottage? / I found out, Buster. / Oh. / What a relief. / Yeah. / I almost said 'the cottage.' I changed it to 'ing on the beach.' / It's 'frolicking.' / 'Frolicking.'

Lucille · Buster:Well, I'm not going to be the one who apologizes, if that's what you're waiting for. / I'm sorry, but... / Apology accepted.

Buster · Unnamed prisoner:Did I exaggerate about her? She really is just like the mother in Two and a Half Men. / No, you did not. Start watching that show? Yes, I did, Mother.

Buster · Lucille:And you lied to me. There's no scary half-man that I couldn't handle. I don't approve of that show.

Buster:Well, there's a lot of stuff I've done in this prison that you might not approve of. I touched a mouse.

Buster:I read an illustrated Qur'an for kids, and at recess once, I sat in 'Blacks only.' Yard. Oh, I keep doing that.

Lucille · Buster:If you must know the truth, I'm not thrilled with you. / The last time I saw you, you told me you didn't need me anymore. / So I'm to believe that's what you're upset about? Not that you think I'm a murderer? Or that I touched a mouse?

Buster · Lucille:You'll need the warden's permission, and then you'll have to sponsor me for my furlough, and they probably won't let me on the float again, but that's just... Oh, God, it's still the parade, isn't it?

Buster:Well, it's either that, or I'm gonna start spewing it. And your job's not gonna be easy since, of course, I got dinged because I screamed, 'Turn it off!' after they showed the half-man.

Buster:It's like they need another reason to call me... Half-man? Jon Cryer.

Buster · Parade official:Is this because I accidentally choked Ron Howard? Because they already made me pay for that. / They chopped your hand off? / No, they just downgraded me to a manual.

Buster:What? You mean I'm in the parade? Are there dressing rooms for the talent?

Gob · Buster:It's gonna involve you being put into a small, confined space, and you come out gay. / If that's a swipe about me being in prison, I understand it.

Gob · Buster:Oh, right, you're in prison. What are you doing here? / Well, Mom arranged it. / Although, it is nice to be able to see family again, because, not to be rude, but you didn't visit me in... / Oh, there's a dog.

Buster · Narrator:Buster, unaware that he has only a few days left in jail, is also unaware he's part of a prison break... / It's, uh, part of the act. / Oh. / Anything for the kids.

Oscar · Buster:I probably shouldn't have chained us together. / No, no, I should've brought a key.

Oscar · Buster:Keystone Cops would've made a meal out of this. / Yeah.

Oscar · Buster:Wait a minute. It's a fake hand. How can it hurt? / No, it's a rental from prison, and Mother said my next hand is gonna be out of my own pocket.

Oscar · Buster · Narrator:Left, right. Left, right... So we always start with left. Smooth and easy. Lemon squeezy. And... left... It wasn't a good system.

Oscar · Buster:Now, we cannot draw attention to ourselves. / I'm just a guy fixing a broken hand. / Right. And I'm... I'm just a guy who's wearing a blue hat. / Nothing to see here, folks.

Buster:It sort of reminds me of Mother's hand, except it's less veiny and warmer.

Stan Sitwell · Oscar · Buster:Oscar and Buster encounter Stan Sitwell in the hospital — Stan immediately says 'Please don't hurt me.'

Buster · Stan Sitwell · Oscar:Could we stay at your place? / You're taking me as a hostage in case the cops see us? / Hey, guy, I wouldn't know about that. / We can pretend we're cousins.

Buster:Right behind you, cousin-father.

Oscar · Buster:Oscar and Buster handcuffed together doing 'inside/outside' routine while navigating encountering a stranger

Buster · Oscar · Stan:Buster and Oscar debate via earpiece whether to say hi to a passerby, culminating in Buster simply saying 'Hello' and the man asking 'Hurt your hand?'

Oscar · Buster:Oscar tells Buster to 'tell him to off' — Buster relays 'to F off, twinkle toes'

Buster:Buster tries to get help: 'Let me handle this. Call the police.' then immediately screams 'Ow!'

Buster:Buster's awkward non-sequitur to the stranger: 'My son is coming in from Ojai next Tuesday.'

Oscar · Buster:Oscar and Buster refer to their new living arrangement as a 'Don't Tell Michael'

Oscar · Buster · neighbor:Maeby's cover is almost blown — the neighbor asks about 'Bev' (the woman smiling in the apartment) and Oscar/Buster reveal she 'smiles all the time, even when she sleeps'

Buster:After cover is blown, Buster holds up his hook hand and says 'Hand.' — then 'inside/outside' resumes

Narrator · Buster · Oscar:Narrator: 'George Michael wasn't the only one who felt shackled to his father.' — cut to Buster literally in handcuffs with Oscar

Oscar · Buster:Oscar and Buster try a tandem bicycle while handcuffed — 'Wet side, dry side, wet side, dry side...' — and it doesn't fit in wherever they've gone

Oscar · Buster:Oscar and Buster try to be inconspicuous on a motorcycle sidecar doing 'wet side, dry side' instead of 'inside, outside'

George Sr. · Buster:The coordinated left/right confusion between George Sr. and Buster while chained together on a tandem bicycle

Buster:Buster calculates Justin Bieber's age by referencing 'Justin Be-Bear' at Build-A-Bear

Buster:'Am I crazy, or am I smelling popcorn and Chanel No. 5 butter?'

Buster:'These are stage manacles. We were in a play.'

Worker · Buster · Oscar:Worker reveals the manacles were never locked — they just hadn't tried unclamping them

Buster:'That would've saved time when we were trying to get the pants over our heads.'

Buster · Oscar:The strategic discussion of whether it's 'safer to go their separate ways' now that the manacles are off — treated as a tactical decision by two men who were never fugitives

Buster:'Well, realistically I could sniff out Mother somehow, but she wouldn't want me. Maybe I'm better in prison. I'm no good on my own.'

Buster · Oscar:The 'Inside-Outside Bandits' debate: Buster wants to be outside, Oscar wants to be inside — treated as a fundamental compatibility issue

George Sr. · Buster:'The most important thing is that we're outside.' / 'Inside.' / 'Outside.' / 'Inside.'

Oscar · Buster:Oscar and Buster resolve their inside/outside dispute by moving into a Tent City display tent: 'Feels like we're outside / It feels like we're inside'

Buster:'You're looking at a boy who faked a coma for two weeks to get out of a spelling bee.'

Oscar · Buster:Oscar corrects: 'That was to get out of testifying.' / 'No, that was a three-month coma.'

Buster:Buster's pre-departure speech to Oscar devolves into 'I cherish it' after multiple false starts

Oscar · Buster:Oscar responds to Buster's 'I cherish it' with a simple 'My son.' — followed by 'All right, fine. Be that way.'

Tobias · Buster:Tobias wanders into the display tent and apologizes to 'a mannequin' before recognizing Buster

Tobias · Buster:Tobias walks into a tent, sees what he thinks is a mannequin, begins apologizing to it, then realizes: 'What am I doing, apologizing to a mannequin that looks like... Buster?'

Tobias · Buster:'Rumor has it they're gonna knock down these tents and put in a Santa Ski Village.' / 'Seems like we were just celebrating the second of July. We're already talking about December 19.'

Oscar · Buster:Buster's hand 'flew off' on the 405 freeway during their getaway

Buster · Oscar:'Welcome Home From Prison Again, Buster' banner — interpreted as ironic

Oscar · Buster:'A guy could have a mighty nice life up here.' / 'Do you... You want us to die here together?'

Oscar · Buster:Buster's solution to attic hunger: 'How does gummies sound?' / 'Necessary.'

Buster · Gob:Buster refuses Gob's favor: 'I cannot do you a favor, Gob. I am on the lam. I escaped from jail.'

Gob · Buster:Gob: 'They released you, Buster.' Buster: 'I don't think so. Uh, I think I'd know if I wasn't on the lam.'

Buster · Gob:Buster asks Gob to keep his secret ('please don't tell him') about still pretending to be a fugitive — unaware Gob himself is hiding a dead body

Buster · Oscar:Buster uses the 'dead body in the truck' as a step stool to drop something off for Gob — and the truck has 'sticky stairs' with a 'blood-like substance'

Gob · Buster · Lucille:Lucille has recruited Buster as Gob's 'right-hand man' — but Buster only has a hook for a hand. Gob notes: 'That would've been better if it was his right hand.'

Buster · Unknown Sibling:Please, I don't need any suntan lotion. Dad never wears any. / Yeah. And he's doing fine in the lady department.

George Sr. · Buster:And it can't just be push-ups. / Yeah, it won't just be push-ups.

Lucille · Buster:And he barely even knows it's there. / Yeah, I barely know it's...

Buster:Actually, Mother made the friend for me. So I named it after her: Lucille Ball.

Buster · Michael · George Sr. · Lucille:Take that back! You take that back! We're normal! We're normal! / Okay. Down, down. / Easy, Buster. Easy, boy. / Sit.

Gob · Buster:I think Buster wants to go take a swim. [beat] I do! I've never even got my suit wet from the outside.

Buster · Narrator:Buster becomes one of 2015's biggest memes. [with triumphant music, one-armed Buster dancing]

Buster · Lucille:Buster growing dreadlocks: 'I'm growing dreads, Mother. Dreads right out of my head.' / 'Just because you have an African-American left hand, all of a sudden you're Ray Charles?'

Buster:Buster (quietly, about the hugging attorneys): 'Well, he is. Clearly is.' (about being called a murderer)

Ron Howard (Narrator) · Buster · Tobias:Ron narrates: 'Well, "happily" might have been an overstatement.' — flashback to Buster complaining: 'I don't know the songs. You're a monster. You don't have to be any good.' / 'What?'

Buster:Flashback narration: Buster sees an 'old rival' at the donkey punch stand and flies into a rage: 'It's punch, like the juice! Oh, I need some juice.'

Dusty · Buster:After the devastating video evidence, Dusty shouts: 'Mistrial! Mistrial!' — then Buster responds: 'Yes, yes! I missed your trial!'

Lucille · Buster · Dusty:Lucille confronts Dusty: 'So you sell me out to Warden Gentles?' Dusty: 'And we both know you said I wouldn't get in trouble. You made a promise!' Lucille: 'No, Buster, it was a mistake!'

Lucille · Dusty · Buster:Lucille to Dusty: 'So you sell me out to Warden Gentles? And we both know you said I wouldn't get in trouble.' Dusty: 'No, Buster, it was a mistake!' Lucille: 'You can live with her, Dusty. She can be your mother.'

Buster · Lucille:Yes, because I'm a good assistant, and unlike you, I know how to keep a secret. I can't believe you told Warden Gentles about our family secrets.

Buster:But I would rather have a brother who's alive and maybe bisexual than dead and straight!

Narrator · Buster · Tony Wonder:But onstage, it was Gob's face that was at risk. / Don't use the sledgehammer. / Get him out of there. / Did somebody say... Wonder?

Buster:How often do you get to do that when you're holding one of these?

Buster:Okay, I did it. So...