When Michael discovers his family has been receiving paychecks without working, he forces them all to get jobs within the company. Lindsay questions his management skills, and Tobias checks himself in at George Sr.'s prison to research a film role.
Meticulous character work drives 49 jokes in 24 minutes—escalation comedy at its tightest.
Directed by John Fortenberry · Written by Brad Copeland
WAR
56.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Staff Infection” ranks #39 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.9 — Elite. The episode packs 49 scored jokes at 1.9 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Lindsay landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Annyong: I went to beach once. Next thing I know, I'm in crate next to pig.
Buster · Gob: My whole life you've called me a chicken, but that's over now. I have nothing to prove. That is not how a chicken sounds. Chickens don't clap!
Lucille: Hola. Is Rosa still alive? No? Hmm. Okay. This is not my day.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Buster: Yeah, I'm definitely gonna need a cushion.
Buster Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Tobias · White Power Bill: And who is this shiny building of a man? Oh, I'm very scared right now.
All Jokes — 49 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ George Michael · Michael: So this isn't bad, right? just like a normal Saturday. You don't have to drive so slow. I can ride my bike by myself. This actually doesn't go any faster.
Michael: Nice instincts, son. Good reflexes.
Tobias: I ain't going to squeal, man. I ain't going to... Oh, I'm not frightened! God!
Tobias Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Tobias · Lindsay: Lindsay, say something to scare me. ...me. Nope. Nothing. Thanks for trying though.
Tobias Lindsay Cringe/Discomfort Awkward Silence Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Tobias: You know what I ought to do? I ought to check myself into a men's penal colony. Perhaps your father could get me in.
Tobias Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Narrator: Which isn't a name... but the Korean word for 'hello'.
Narrator Observational Running Gag ★ Rewatch Lucille: Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.
Narrator: Buster had an unfortunate encounter in a photo booth on the wildlife-populated island of Catalina.
Narrator Callback Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Lucille: We can't have them hanging around like freeloaders, looking for an easy buck.
Lucille Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Illusion, Mom. And I'm the president of that company.
Michael Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Lucille: They made me apply for a membership card. It was humiliating.
Lucille Character Comedy Observational Lindsay: Does that mean I have to go to your office to get mine, too, or how's that work?
Lindsay: Well, I usually ask Kitty, uh, but she's not around... and you're the only one here I've ever seen before.
Lindsay · Employee: You quit college. Yeah, well, I had a job. What was the point?
Lindsay · Employee: Michael, it's Friday. Everybody coasts on Friday. It's actually Saturday.
Employee · Lindsay: Uh, Lindsay. Hello. The phones. Well, you said 'staff.'
Lindsay: What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?
Buster: Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob?
Buster Physical/Slapstick Escalation Maeby · George Michael: Yeah, I guess. Sorry. Yeah. I'm just bored. That's okay. I guess he just likes work more than he likes you.
Warden · Tobias: The warden could easily be black. Oh! Yes.
Warden: And I can't put you into 212, because there's already another actor... researching a role in there... Steve Buscemi.
Warden: And I can't put you into 212, because there's already another actor researching a role in there... Steve Buscemi.
Warden Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Gob · Michael: You know, that Kitty is starting to sound pretty damn sexy to me. Maybe I oughta... That was Lindsay.
Gob · Buster · Michael: The guy's like the world's biggest chicken. I'm not a chicken. Yeah, he's not a chicken. He just doesn't like confined spaces, that's all. No, it's both.
Buster: One of the guys told me to take my head out of my bottom and get back to work. My bottom!
Buster Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Construction Worker · Michael · Buster: Hey, pick up the pace, douche bag! Michael! You too, candy ass! 'Candy ass.'
Employee · Lindsay: What happened to the lights? Isn't this better? Doesn't this just wanna make you curl up and forget about the world?
Michael: I told you, these people are sheep. All right? They'll wander off, and you'll lose the sheep. You've lost the sheep.
Narrator: In the parking lot, the employees boarded the bus... Lupe had rented for her family reunion... thinking Lindsay had reserved it to take them to lunch.
Narrator · FBI Agents: So the employees headed off to Catalina... providing the surveillance team that had installed the lighting... with the opportunity they needed. The place is empty. All right. Let's get in there and bring this company down.
George Sr. · White Power Bill: Uh, okay, what say from now on we call you David Ben-Avram? What are you doing to my guy here?
George Sr.: There's the Jewish notion of heaven and that... that it can be attained here on Earth... and there is your belief in the cleansing power of the pipe.
George Sr. · Tobias: Tobias, what the hell are you doing here? I'm here to study with you, to learn from you. Teach me. There's no teaching. There's no teaching.
Tobias · White Power Bill: And who is this shiny building of a man? Oh, I'm very scared right now.
Annyong: He no have father? Older lady adopt him too? No, he have father. Father no love him.
Annyong Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Annyong: I went to beach once. Next thing I know, I'm in crate next to pig.
Lucille: Hola. Is Rosa still alive? No? Hmm. Okay. This is not my day.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Buster · Construction Worker: You got paid? I thought we were all making sacrifices. Yeah, well, maybe it's time for some of those big shots at the Bluth Company... to start making some sacrifices.
Gob: Don't listen to him. He'll never stand up to the man. He's a chicken. A chicken.
Gob Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Buster · Gob: My whole life you've called me a chicken, but that's over now. I have nothing to prove. That is not how a chicken sounds. Chickens don't clap!
Buster: Yeah, I'm definitely gonna need a cushion.
Buster Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Lindsay: Hey, who's ready to have some fun?
Lindsay Visual Gag Escalation ★ Rewatch Michael · George Michael: Oh, no. Where is... Where's my phone? I used it to dig the 'B' unit. You what? I'll get it. No, no. You're gonna ruin it! What am I doing?
Michael: Great. Now we're never gonna finish phase three, and everything's gonna fall apart. This whole thing is gonna cave in, and we're gonna be left with a bunch of... Great. Now my sand castle has a giant pool in it.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Narrator: He knew his father had always loved him... but at this moment, he was actually holding the proof in his hands.
Professor · Lindsay: I'm a professor of American Studies... at the University of Mexico City. I took a dance class there.
White Power Bill · Tobias: Well, let's discuss this bunking situation. You'll be sleeping under me for a while. I sold you for a pack of cigarettes.
Mountain Man · Employees: Whoa! Whoa! What are you folks doin' on this part of the mountain? We're lost. Well, I can give you a ride back into town. Come on. Let's go. Buck, Banjo, get on up here. Come on, boy.
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