When Michael discovers his family has been receiving paychecks without working, he forces them all to get jobs within the company. Lindsay questions his management skills, and Tobias checks himself in at George Sr.'s prison to research a film role.
Meticulous character work drives 49 jokes in 24 minutes—escalation comedy at its tightest.
Directed by John Fortenberry · Written by Brad Copeland
WAR
108.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Staff Infection” ranks #61 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 93.5 — Elite. The episode packs 74 scored jokes at 2.9 per minute, averaging 7.6 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Annyong: Annyong: 'I went to beach once. Next thing I know, I'm in crate next to pig.'
Annyong Dark/Subversive Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael · George Michael: Michael and George Michael finally relax together; Michael: 'Thanks for coming out. I've been dying to get some time with you.' George Michael: 'That's okay. I know how much you care about me.' Michael: 'Unfortunately, so does the federal government.'
Lucille: Lucille arrives home to an empty house, calls for everyone ('Lupe! Buster? Annyong? Hello?'), then realizes she's alone and immediately calls another housekeeper: 'Hola. Is Rosa still alive? No? Hmm. Okay. This is not my day.'
Lucille Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Michael: Michael on the phone: 'Great. Now we're never gonna finish phase three... This whole thing is gonna cave in... Great. Now my sand castle has a giant pool in it.'
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Buster: Buster: 'That is not how a chicken sounds. Chickens don't clap!' — reacting to someone doing a chicken impression
Buster Character Comedy Running Gag Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 74 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael · George Michael · Narrator: Michael's Saturday morning 'bike ride' with his son — Michael is driving a slow car alongside George Michael on a bike, multitasking work calls instead of being present
Michael · George Michael · Buster: Michael answers his phone mid-sentence to his son, causing Buster (on a bike nearby) to crash
Michael · George Michael: Michael takes a work call mid-bike-ride, nearly causes a crash, then says 'Nice instincts, son. Good reflexes.'
Tobias: Tobias practicing his frightened inmate role: 'I ain't going to squeal, man. I ain't going to... Oh, I'm not frightened! God!'
Tobias Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Tobias · Lindsay: Lindsay, say something to scare me. ...me.
Tobias Lindsay Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Tobias: Tobias: 'Nope. Nothing. Thanks for trying though.' after Lindsay's attempt to frighten him
Tobias Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Tobias: Tobias: 'I ought to check myself into a men's penal colony. Perhaps your father could get me in.'
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Lucille · Annyong · Narrator: Annyong's name is revealed to not be a name but the Korean word for 'hello' — every time he 'says his name' he's just greeting people
Lucille · Buster: Lucille on Annyong's work ethic: 'unlike some sons I know' / Buster: 'I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.'
Lucille: Lucille: 'Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.'
Lucille Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Buster · Narrator: Buster panics at the mention of Catalina because of 'an unfortunate encounter in a photo booth on the wildlife-populated island of Catalina'
Lucille: Lucille about Lupe's family reunion bus: 'We can't have them hanging around like freeloaders, looking for an easy buck.' — said while she herself is about to ask Michael for a paycheck she doesn't earn
Lucille Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Lucille: Michael: 'You get a paycheck from the Bluth Company?' / Lucille: 'It's important to the company that I keep up the image of my lifestyle.' / Michael: 'Illusion, Mom.'
Lucille: Lucille: 'I believe I'm the one that asked you to start shopping at Quantity Plus. They made me apply for a membership card. It was humiliating.'
Lucille Character Comedy Observational Buster · Michael: Buster: 'Does that mean I have to go to your office to get mine, too, or how's that work?'
Michael · Buster: Michael tells Buster he'll have to work in the copy room to earn his money. Buster: 'Okay. I accept. I'll take that job. I will work in the copy room.'
Unknown employee: 'I wouldn't go in there without knocking, Michael.' — said about the copy room where Buster has been assigned
Michael · Lindsay: Michael's staff meeting: 'Now, I know we've been putting in a lot of hours, but we've got to keep our heads down and power through, you know, and... sacrifice.' — and Lindsay walks in demanding a paycheck in the middle of it
Lindsay · Michael: Lindsay: 'Dad hired me out of college.' Michael: 'You quit college.' Lindsay: 'Yeah, well, I had a job. What was the point?'
Lindsay · Michael: Lindsay leaves the staff meeting when Michael says 'staff' — 'Well, you said staff.'
Lindsay: Lindsay to Michael: 'You and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?'
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Absurdist Buster: Buster's escalating panic in the copy room — calling out 'Bob? Bob? Bob?' alone in the small space
Buster Character Comedy Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Buster: Buster: 'I need a different job. I'm having real trouble in a confined indoor space.' Worker: 'How do you feel about working outdoors?' Buster: 'Uh, what else do you have?'
Buster Character Comedy Escalation Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Maeby · George Michael: Maeby to George Michael about Michael: 'I guess he just likes work more than he likes you.'
Tobias · Narrator: Tobias arrives at prison with a letter of introduction from Carl Weathers
Warden · Tobias: The warden: 'It would be an honor to have you research in this institution.' then immediately hands Tobias a script to pass to Carl Weathers: 'The warden could easily be black.'
Warden · Tobias: The warden lists available cells: '187 won't be free till Tuesday... at midnight. And I can't put you into 212, because there's already another actor researching a role in there... Steve Buscemi.'
Tobias · Warden: Tobias requests to bunk with his father-in-law (George Sr., who is an actual prisoner). The warden says 'Okay.'
Tobias: Tobias, given prison clothes, gasps with pure excitement: 'Wow! Prison!'
Tobias Character Comedy Reaction Beat Gob · Michael: Gob arrives at the construction site claiming Kitty 'is starting to sound pretty damn sexy to me' over the phone — then Michael reveals it was Lindsay
Gob Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection Michael · Foreman: Michael to the foreman about Buster: 'I got Buster here to help.' Foreman: 'That's another guy.'
Buster: Buster reports the workers' profanity to Michael with wonder: 'One of the guys told me to take my head out of my bottom and get back to work. My bottom!'
Buster Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Gob · Michael: Gob yells 'Pick up the pace, douche bag!' at workers; Michael echoes 'You too, candy ass!' then pauses and says 'Candy ass.'
Lindsay · Employees: Lindsay announces she's taking the whole staff out to lunch on a Saturday, to office-wide cheers
Lindsay: Lindsay turns off the office lights: 'Doesn't this just wanna make you curl up and forget about the world?'
Michael · Lindsay · Narrator · Employees: Michael: 'They're sheep. They'll wander off, and you'll lose the sheep.' Lindsay: 'They'll be fine.' — cut to employees boarding Lupe's family reunion bus thinking Lindsay chartered it for lunch
Michael · Lindsay: Michael: 'All right? They'll wander off, and you'll lose the sheep. You've lost the sheep.'
Lindsay · Michael: Lindsay shows Michael the completed proposal: 'It's right here, Michael. You weren't here and everything got done while I was in charge. See? Not so hard, what you do.'
Michael · Lindsay: Michael: 'You really think I could leave here and everything would be fine?' Lindsay: 'I think everything would be fine but you.'
Michael · Lindsay: Michael: 'If I didn't have that phone call from the zoning committee—' Lindsay: 'You'd have no reason to live. I'll have it forwarded to your cell.'
Investigators · Lindsay · Narrator: Cut to the surveillance team after the employees leave: 'The place is empty. All right. Let's get in there and bring this company down.' — directly echoing Lindsay's 'Like that's even possible'
George Sr. · LittleJustice · Narrator: George Sr. converting inmates to Judaism in prison while a gang leader threatens him for 'trying to convert my team'
George Sr.: George Sr.: 'Both of our religions have a lot to offer. There's the Jewish notion of heaven and that it can be attained here on Earth... and there is your belief in the cleansing power of the pipe.'
George Sr. Absurdist Dark/Subversive Character Comedy George Sr. · Gang Leader: Gang leader: 'No more teaching from you.' George Sr.: 'No teaching. No teaching.' — frantically agreeing with his own prohibition
Tobias · George Sr.: Tobias to George Sr.: 'I'm here to study with you, to learn from you. Teach me.' George Sr.: 'There's no teaching.' Tobias: 'There's no teaching.' — both immediately echoing the gang leader's decree
Tobias · George Sr. · Inmate: Tobias introduces himself: 'I am Dr. Tobias Fünke. Or, with your help, Frightened Inmate #2.' — then: 'Who is this shiny building of a man?' / 'Oh, I'm very scared right now.' / 'Oh, we're starting.'
Annyong · George Michael: Annyong: 'He no have father? Older lady adopt him too?' — about George Michael's absent dad
George Michael: George Michael insists: 'No, he have father. Father no love him.' / Immediately corrects: 'No, he love me... loves me. He loves me.'
Annyong: Annyong: 'I went to beach once. Next thing I know, I'm in crate next to pig.'
Annyong Dark/Subversive Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Lucille: Lucille arrives home to an empty house, calls for everyone ('Lupe! Buster? Annyong? Hello?'), then realizes she's alone and immediately calls another housekeeper: 'Hola. Is Rosa still alive? No? Hmm. Okay. This is not my day.'
Lucille Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Lucille: Lucille: 'Hola. Is Rosa still alive? No? Hmm. Okay. This is not my day.'
Lucille Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · George Michael: Michael 'relaxes' at the beach by working on subdivision plans in the sand, barking orders at his son: 'These units aren't too close together. We can get away with this, right, people? All right. Just speed it up. Come on. Keep your heads down. Power through.'
Gob · Worker: Gob to construction workers: 'Screw this! I have my pride. I don't care how much they're paying me.' Worker: 'You got paid? I thought we were all making sacrifices.'
Gob Worker Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Buster · Worker: Gob tries to incite a work stoppage: 'I say we shut down construction!' Buster: 'This is fun! We should do this just for the fun.' Worker: 'Easy for him to say. He got his paycheck too.'
Gob · Buster · Workers: Gob: 'He'll never stand up to the man. He's a chicken. A chicken.' — workers call Buster a chicken, Buster responds: 'My whole life you've called me a chicken, but that's over now. I have nothing to prove.'
Buster: Buster: 'That is not how a chicken sounds. Chickens don't clap!' — reacting to someone doing a chicken impression
Buster Character Comedy Running Gag Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Worker · Buster · Gob: A construction worker announces they'll settle the dispute with a game called 'chicken' — Buster and Gob race forklifts
Buster: Buster: 'Uh-oh. My seat doesn't have a cushion.' / after the race: 'I'm definitely gonna need a cushion.'
Buster Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Running Gag Michael · George Michael: Michael: 'Where is my phone?' George Michael: 'I used it to dig the B unit.' Michael: 'You what?' 'I'll get it.' 'No, no, you're gonna ruin it!'
Michael · George Michael: Michael is on the phone panicking about the subdivision caving in — cut to his sand castle collapsing into a 'giant pool'
Michael: Michael on the phone: 'Great. Now we're never gonna finish phase three... This whole thing is gonna cave in... Great. Now my sand castle has a giant pool in it.'
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch George Michael · Investigators: George Michael (at the office) finds the proof that Michael loves him (presumably a note or file) — the investigators see it: 'There's the kid. Our cover's blown. Get out.'
Worker · Gob · Narrator: After the forklift chicken race: 'Wow. Who won?' — and 'for the first time, Gob saw his brother as a man'
Narrator · Gob: After the forklift chicken showdown, narrative beat: 'For the first time, Gob saw his brother as a man.'
Lindsay · Professor · Worker: Lindsay arrives at the construction site and threatens workers with 'a stair car full of Mexican laborers.' A 'laborer' responds: 'I'm a professor of American Studies at the University of Mexico City.' Another worker: 'I took a dance class there.'
Lupe's family member: Lupe's family: 'I thought you were taking us to Catalina. What happened to Catalina?'
Gob · Lindsay · Michael: Gob: 'You'd bring in scabs, just like that?' Lindsay: 'Watch me.' — then Michael arrives and overrides everything
Michael · Narrator: Michael's solution to the zoning problem (no individual pools, one big communal pool) is revealed to have been inspired by his sand castle collapsing
Michael · Lindsay: Michael tells Lindsay she was right, suggests rewarding staff with a party; Lindsay: 'Right. I didn't mean tonight. Just some time in the future when we have some extra food and liquor.' — then immediately yells 'Lupe! I need help with the groceries!'
Gob: Gob: 'How about just liquor?'
Gob Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael · George Michael: Michael and George Michael finally relax together; Michael: 'Thanks for coming out. I've been dying to get some time with you.' George Michael: 'That's okay. I know how much you care about me.' Michael: 'Unfortunately, so does the federal government.'
George Sr. · Tobias: "On the next Arrested Development" tag: Tobias in prison learns about bunking. George Sr.: 'You'll be sleeping under me for a while. I sold you for a pack of cigarettes.'
Tobias · George Sr.: NEXT EPISODE preview: Tobias: 'Well, let's discuss this bunking situation. You'll be sleeping under me for a while.' George Sr.: 'I sold you for a pack of cigarettes.'
Employees · Cowboy: NEXT EPISODE preview: The employees are lost on a mountain. A cowboy offers them a ride back to town on horses: 'Come on. Let's go. Buck, Banjo, get on up here.'
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