Out On A Limb

Narrator:The narrator warns against ordering the Skip's Scramble immediately after describing it as famous and containing everything on the menu.

Narrator · Michael:Narrator reveals that their eight dates included 'a record-tying three lovemaking sessions in one night for Michael,' punctuated by Michael's offscreen 'Yes!'

Sally · Michael · George Michael:Sally suggests they'd have had 'an entirely different kind of child' if they'd gotten together in high school, while Michael's actual son George Michael is shown nearby.

George Michael · Maeby:George Michael is nervous about being 'on his third Virgin Mary,' not realizing there's no alcohol in it.

Michael:Michael's awkward aside 'She's a shot-putter. And I'm dating her.' after the kids leave the table.

Michael · George Michael:Michael asks 'Who?' about Ann, then backtracks: 'I meant, uh, her.' — the running 'Ann? Her?' gag.

Ann · George Michael:Ann confronts George Michael about skipping church to do 'neither' (not church, not working), then is horrified he's drinking — which is a Virgin Mary.

George Michael · Ann · Waiter:The waiter delivers George Michael's virgin piña colada mid-Ann's religious scolding, making it look like he's 'drinking'

George Michael:George Michael on Ann: 'I mean, I guess we've lost some of the heat since we have kissed...I always assumed she would break up with me.'

George Michael:'Well, she just killed my buzz.' — George Michael after Ann leaves

Lindsay:Lindsay responds to Michael's news about three lovemaking sessions: 'Oh, big deal, three times. I've had three times plenty of times.'

Michael · Lindsay:'Yes!' Michael's offscreen exclamation is followed by Lindsay asking 'Did you call my name?' / 'Absolutely not.'

Lindsay · Tobias:Lindsay says 'Oh, how delicious!' then 'Oh, hey, let's not spin in the comfy chair' then 'Look at this delicious piece of irony. I'm being sued for divorce.' — referring to Tobias being sued, not herself.

Lucille:Lucille: 'Look at this delicious piece of irony. I'm being sued for divorce.'

Gob · Narrator:Gob: 'Yeah, I keep forgetting that I got married.' / Narrator: 'Gob met a woman one night. And after a series of escalating dares, married her.'

Narrator · Gob:Gob's wife is revealed to be 'a seal dealer' — she 'raised and sold seals to aquariums.'

Gob:Gob tried to include a seal in his magic act: 'There's a reason you don't typically see live seals in a magic show.'

Gob:A seal interrupts Gob's magic trick attempt, causing a cat to screech. Gob's casual redirect: 'Oh, look-it over... there.'

Gob · Michael:Gob can't remember his wife's name. 'Krindy.' 'Name's not Krindy, Gob.' 'Ah, Saul Zentsman. No, that's her lawyer.'

Gob:Gob: 'Well, she's got a name. And I'm gonna find out what it is, and then I'm gonna make a pun on it, and that's what I'll call her. Bad example — if her name's Amy, I'll call her Blamy.'

Michael · Lindsay:Michael suggests they take responsibility for their relationship failures. Lindsay: 'I think it's Mom's fault.' Michael: 'I was gonna say the exact same thing.'

Lucille · Lindsay:Lucille rolls in on the spinning chair (which Lindsay had complained about) and delivers: 'So this is how my children speak of me when I'm not here.'

Lucille:Lucille's response to Buster going to war: 'the answer is no, he's not going in the ocean.'

Michael · Lucille:Michael: 'Like, say, signing him up for the army during wartime.' Lucille: 'What the hell was I supposed to do? Michael Moore confronted me in front of the whole country.'

Michael · Lucille:Michael corrects Lucille: 'First of all, it wasn't Michael Moore. It was a look-alike. And it wasn't in front of the whole country. It was for a bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live.' Lucille: 'I don't know who that is, and I don't care to find out.'

Buster · Lucille:Lucille and Buster have hired a photographer for their beach meeting. 'We haven't done this since the Balboa Bay Window magazine.'

Buster · Lucille:Buster: 'I was 30 years old then, Mother. I'm 32 now!' — correcting Lucille's claim about his age while explaining why he's going to war.

Lucille · Narrator:Lucille: 'Well, I may not have been a perfect mother. But, you know, kids don't come with a handbook.' Narrator: 'In fact, there are thousands of books written on child-rearing. But Lucille was in denial.'

Barry:Barry: 'A waitress that works there is claiming that by eating Skip's Scramble several times a week is making her a fatty.' — Barry's current case introduced.

Barry · Michael:Barry: 'Oh, well, I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I?' Michael: 'Actually, she died.' Barry: 'You're kidding. I've been taking credit for that for years.' / 'Credit?'

Barry:Barry about opposing counsel: 'I have Chinese with him every Friday night at Miss Temple's.' Then: 'He's tough.'

Gob · Barry:Gob: 'I just want my wife back.' Barry: 'Save it for the stand, okay, Tom Jane?'

Barry · Narrator:Barry: 'You know who's defending the fatty? Maggie Lizer.' — introducing Maggie as the opposing counsel in the fat suit case.

Narrator · Michael:Narrator explains Maggie was 'both pretending to be blind and prosecuting the family' during her affair with Michael. 'It was with her he'd first set the three-time record. Yes!'

Barry:Barry: 'Tell you the truth, I preferred it when she was blind.' — said about opposing counsel Maggie Lizer.

Barry:Maggie's client (the 'fatty') wins over the jury by being visibly sympathetic. Barry: 'Oh, I'm cooked. They love her.'

Maggie:Maggie: 'To tell you the truth, I am so relieved not to be pretending to be blind anymore. It's actually taught me not to rely on cheap tricks to get the jury's sympathy.'

Maggie · Juror Four:A juror has knitted something for Maggie during the trial. Maggie: 'Oh, Juror Number Four!' / 'I feel so bad I fought so hard to keep you off the jury.'

Narrator · Judge Ping:The judge has his bailiff assemble an 'Ocean-Sounds Toddler Rocker' as a gift for Maggie's baby — in chambers.

Michael:Michael to Maggie about the knitted item: 'Too bad the trial's not going longer. She could've knit you something that fit.'

Michael · Maggie:Maggie says it's been 'about eight and a half months' since Michael saw her. Michael: 'Eight and a half months, huh? Wow. I see somebody has been counting the, uh—' [trails off in realization]

Narrator:Narrator: 'Michael had just learned that the woman he'd been intimate with eight and a half months earlier was eight-and-a-half months pregnant.'

Michael · Maggie:Michael: 'Didn't I use something?' Maggie: 'No.' Michael: 'You thought I was blind, remember?'

Michael · Maggie:Maggie: 'Don't worry. You're not the father, Michael.' / Michael exhales in relief / then immediately: 'No problem. Really? Right. You sure? I mean, uh— I could be. What if I was? Don't you want to discuss this maybe?'

Maggie:Maggie: 'If you're interested, come to the baptism. You can hurl a Bible at the baby.'

Michael · Sally:Michael explains to Sally that Maggie said it wasn't his baby — 'She said it wasn't mine, so—' Sally: 'Why are you telling me this?'

Lindsay:Lindsay summarizes Michael's love life: 'Are you insane? You broke up with her because somebody who doesn't want you might be pregnant with your baby?'

Michael:Michael says 'All I could see was her giant chest— box. She had this— Some people call it a chest. I call it a box.'

Gob · Lindsay:Gob's solution to the pregnancy mystery: 'Make 'em pee in a cup, and pee in a cup right in front of me.' / Lindsay: '...A pregnancy test.' Gob: 'Oh! [laughs] There's something we never had, huh, Lindsay?'

Tobias · Lindsay:Tobias: 'There's something we never had, huh, Lindsay? Oh, no.' — about a pregnancy test

Tobias · Maeby:Tobias: 'We had to create our little Frankenstein monster out of science and money and just a dash of—' [notices Maeby] 'Maeby, what— h-how long have you been standing there?'

Tobias:Tobias: 'Seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb.'

Lindsay · Tobias · Michael:Lindsay and Tobias agree to break into Maggie's house to collect a urine specimen. Lindsay: 'We will be like Tracy and Hepburn.' Tobias bursts in: 'What do you say, you old poop?' Michael: 'Oh, God, he's Hepburn.'

Lucille · Michael:Lucille declares 'I am done with Buster. He pushes my buttons.' Michael responds: 'He also zips you up and sands your elbows.'

Lucille · Michael:Lucille claims Buster is 'pretending he's going to war. Mr. Big Shot.' / Michael: 'Wait a minute. He said he's going to war? Aren't you worried?'

Lucille · Michael:Lucille: 'I need macaroons.' Michael: 'Oh, you're high!' / Lucille: 'Oh, well, you can win every argument like that, but that does not make you right.'

Lucille:Lucille shouts 'I don't want you telling him you're his father! I need ice!' in the same breath — apparent non-sequitur reveals Oscar may be Buster's father.

Michael · Lucille:'You're high!' / 'You're drunk!' — Michael and Lucille argue back and forth as the pipe grinds.

Tobias · Lucille:Tobias diagnoses Lucille with 'a psychological concept known as denial' — then Lucille: 'You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.'

Lucille:Lucille's takedown of Tobias: 'You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.'

Tobias:Tobias's response to Lucille's devastating takedown: 'Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.'

Maeby · George Michael:Maeby: 'I know how to get rid of Ann. You put her in a room with Gangy. She'll criticize her away.' George Michael: 'But what would Gangy have to criticize about Ann?'

George Sr. · Narrator:George Sr. is wearing the 'God costume' from the annual Living Classics Pageant — a recreation of Michelangelo's Creation of Adam where he plays God.

George Sr.:George Sr.: 'What if I never get a chance to reach out and touch that hand of his again?' — in God costume, referencing the Creation of Adam pose.

George Sr. · Michael:Michael catches George Sr. leaving the attic to visit the Ford dealership; George Sr. defends it: 'Have you seen the new Ford Mustang? You could hump that hood.'

George Sr. · Michael:George Sr. claims he has 'never left the attic.' Michael: 'Two days ago. Right? Saw you floating around the Ford dealership.' George Sr.: 'Yeah, well, have you seen the new Ford Mustang? You could hump that hood.'

Maggie:Maggie is 'practicing with the pizza guy' — rehearsing how to answer the door for a pizza delivery to fool someone into thinking she's not home.

Maggie:Maggie: 'She's taking the stand tomorrow. I want to make sure it creaks.' — about the fake-fat plaintiff

Michael:Michael: 'There's so much I don't understand about the law.' — said while stalling Maggie so his family can break into her house.

Lindsay · Tobias:Lindsay 'cloaks herself in Maggie's scent' using Maggie's perfume because 'she was blind when she bought this.'

Buster:Buster's response to the paternity reveal: 'You lied to me. Uncle Oscar's my father. He just told me so. And maybe you're not even my real mother. For all I know, Lucille 2 is my real mother.'

Buster:Buster: 'Well, here's something you should know. I'm going to war!' — shouted triumphantly as an act of rebellion.

Tobias · Lindsay:Lindsay and Tobias in Maggie's shower: 'That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears.'

Michael · Maggie:Michael about Sally: 'Yeah, I know. It's a funny name. But she's a doll.' Maggie: 'Yeah, I had one.' / 'If you pull her hair, she'd cry or something.' Michael: 'This one kinda does that too.'

Michael:Michael: 'If you pull her hair, she'd cry or something. This one kinda does that too.' — about Sally Sitwell

Lindsay:Lindsay on the phone from Maggie's house: 'Listen, you should know that that box that says 60 pounds — it's actually like two pounds. I think she's pregnant, Michael.'

Michael · Maggie:Michael to Maggie: 'So, no more lies. Tell me the truth. If that baby is mine, maybe we're meant to be together.' Maggie: 'Of course it is, Michael.'

Lindsay · Tobias:The Fünkes discover the fake pregnant belly/fat suit in the mystery box — a prosthetic stomach.

George Michael · Ann · Lucille:Lucille's attempt to have Ann criticized away by Lucille fails: Lucille is too distracted by Buster's departure to criticize. Ann: 'Hey, do you have any bread pudding? 'Cause you'd be surprised how much this one can put away.'

Ann · George Michael:Ann tells the grief-stricken Lucille: 'You know, when times are tough, you can always turn to the power of prayer.' George Michael: 'Here we go.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'This was a big get for God.' — on Ann converting the grief-stricken Lucille to prayer.

Lindsay · Michael:Lindsay's recorded message plays on Michael's phone: 'Hey, so what's the deal on Zuckerkorn? 'Cause you know my fat case — it's really pretty thin.' / 'Lying, untrustworthy—' 'Yeah.' 'Plus, I heard he hangs out at rest stops.'

Michael:Michael confronts Maggie with the fat suit: 'Which one are you wearing right now? Is this the ready-to-burst model?'

Michael · Narrator:Michael breaks up with Maggie: 'Good-bye. It's been fun—' [pause] '—not.'

Maggie:Maggie's riposte: 'Oh, you're so right, Michael. I really can't be trusted.' [pause] 'Cause I'm fakin' it—' [pause] '—not.'

Tobias:Tobias arrives to deliver the pregnancy confirmation: 'My wife and I finally had the thrill of seeing a plus sign on a pregnancy test. You're gonna be a daddy!'

Barry · Narrator:[On the Next] Barry: 'The fat girl in my Skip Church's case? Not fat. The attorney bought her a fat suit.' / 'I've got another case. Maggie is suing you for paternity.'

Lucille:[On the Next] Lucille prays: 'Take something else from us. Do whatever you have to to keep my boy from going to war.'

Narrator · Buster:[On the Next] 'Loose seal! Watch out for loose seal!' / 'I don't care about Lucille! She lies!' / Narrator: 'And then a seal bites off his hand.'