With the company in dire financial straits and the Bluths no longer the primary shareholders, Michael must turn to old family friend "Uncle" Jack Dorso for financial assistance. Uncle Jack, however, wants something in return.
Ninety-four-point Humor Index built on relentless character comedy and absurdist chaos—pure density.
Directed by Paul Feig · Written by Mitchell Hurwitz, Jim Vallely
WAR
91.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Ready, Aim, Marry Me” ranks #1 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 93.8 — Elite. The episode packs 59 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 7.6 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Tobias (on tape): Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up. Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias (on tape): I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.
Tobias: Well, yes, but I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Michael · Narrator: The business meant the world to him, but his sister's honor— uh, meant a lot too. Let's do it.
Lindsay: So, I didn't even fail, and I don't see you giving me credit for that.
Lindsay Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 59 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: What tipped you? The falling profits... or that we're a regular feature on Bill O'Reilly's 'Most Ridiculous Item of the Day'?
Lucille · Michael: that bitch! You're not at home, Mom. She doesn't live next door when you're here.
Lucille · Michael: the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob. Think that makes the joke on Gob.
George Michael · Michael: Does that mean she's gonna have to come live with us? No, no. No. It was- It was her drink
Stan Sitwell: I look like Edgar Winter. Forget it. I gotta get to spin class.
George Michael · Michael: What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us.
Tobias: Well, yes, but I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Michael: It's just-There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Reaction Beat Hotel clerk: You just did.
Tobias: [Screeching] 'Where's Tobias?' [Normal Voice] 'Oh, he's just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth... and they're dipping each other in-'
Tobias Character Comedy Absurdist Tobias: Oh, he's just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth and they're dipping each other in—
Tobias Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tobias: I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime.
Tobias Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing.
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lindsay · Michael: Chaw-chee-chaw, chee-chaw. What is that? Is that a chicken?
Michael: You too. This is great. Come on. These aren't even birds.
Gob: I'm playing the part of the gigolo so that she'll keep the company afloat.
Gob Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Lindsay: She thinks you're a loser. 'Cause she knows you're a loser.
Lindsay Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Gob · Lindsay: Hey, I'm— [bleep] Lucille 2. Oh. I could do something like that.
Narrator: George Sr. was in a tight spot... as he'd gotten himself wedged under the furnace while chasing after a sour ball
George Sr.: this may just be me having my head against a hundred-degree furnace for an hour
Narrator: But the audience was not ready to accept Bullet as a romantic lead... despite his powerful upper body.
Jack Dorso: Release! [Cracking] Too much!
George Sr.: See if you can talk your mother into taking another bullet for the Bluth family.
Lucille: Nice of you to take a break from that common whore you've been dating.
Lucille Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Buster: But sometimes love should be terrifying.
Buster Character Comedy Absurdist Buster: I'll be right in, and then maybe we can talk about— Makin' that love.
Buster Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Buster: She's kind, and she's caring... and she's certainly less experienced than that whore that I'm dating now.
Buster Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack Dorso: Someone order 140 pounds of upper-body strength?
Jack · Michael: [Shouting] Walk, Dragon! Walk! - Enter the room!
Jack · Lucille: He's half deaf. It was a stupid, stupid hire. Not 'higher.' Eye level! Eye level!
Jack: I was never in the army. I was in the pictures. Here comes Uncle Jack. Shoot me!
Jack Character Comedy Callback Callback Jack: I was never in the army. I was in the pictures. Here comes UncleJack. Shoot me!
Jack Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: Back to the blonde. Back to the blonde. [Makes Gobbling Noise]
Jack Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jack: Just ignore it! Ignore it. Just something the body does when you're shaken.
Jack Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Lindsay · Michael: which would be a drag. Yeah, that's just the kind of joke Drag can't hear.
Lindsay: So, I didn't even fail, and I don't see you giving me credit for that.
Lindsay Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack · Michael: particularly when that sister of yours started giving me the cutie eye. She did?
Jack: I won't go wheelchair! Twirl me around.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael · Narrator: The business meant the world to him, but his sister's honor— uh, meant a lot too. Let's do it.
Michael: He said he'd like to sleep on it.
Gob: In her robe and slippies? Getting into her head.
Gob Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Buster · Gob: These kind of skills? Not really.
Michael · George Sr.: You were pimping out my mother. Yes, because she was sleeping with my brother
Michael · George Michael: I just screwed my brother-in-law. Well, I'm all grown up now.
Jack: Stop. You dropped the boot. Dropped the boot.
Jack Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Tobias: Well, you certainly didn't help with my reputation as a lady's man with Jeff.
Tobias Cringe/Discomfort Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael · Tobias: Hey, did you ever get that tape recorder? You're funny. Come on, boy. Hoo-cha-cha!
Narrator: thejets proved too powerful for UncleJack's tiny legs
Tobias: Do you have any idea how often you say the word 'afraid'?
Tobias Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: But we lost her. Everyone put on white robes and outsmarted us.
Gob Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack · Gob: How'd you like to take a nap, baldy? I'll handle this.
Gob · Tobias: She's not with him. She's with the Bullet. Oh, thank God.
Gob Tobias Misdirection Character Comedy Callback Jack: But if you want a fight, you got it. Shoot me!
Jack Callback Character Comedy Callback Lindsay: It was pretty obvious when Dragon kept swooping UncleJack in for a kiss.
Lindsay Visual Gag Observational ★ Rewatch Tobias: I had no idea a 90-year-old man could cave in my chest cavity like that.
Tobias Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Tobias · Michael: I think this duct tape is the only thing that's keeping the ankle on. Okay. Ah. Right around there. Oh. I think you're right inside me now.
Tobias (on tape): Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up. Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias (on tape): I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.
Tobias: Tobias, you blowhard!
Tobias Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — Arrested Development
