Michael reunites with his long, lost love Sally Sitwell, but faces interference from parents. Meanwhile, the two Lucilles need someone to bid on them at the bachelorette auction with Buster already in a relationship.
Steady character work and irony drive a tight 52-joke episode at Season 2's peak density.
Directed by Paul Feig · Written by Chuck Martin, Lisa Parsons
WAR
138.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Burning Love” ranks #58 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 93.8 — Elite. The episode packs 98 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
George Michael · Narrator: George Michael about the bonfire: 'I hope I didn't confuse people by saying it was a CD burning party.' Cut to: a massive rave-like party with people burning CDs they just made.
GOB · Lucille 2: GOB to Lucille 2: 'No! I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.' — then hears a noise and says: 'Sshh. I thought I heard my mom.'
George Michael · Michael: George Michael corrects 'Christian Music Bonfire' — it's not a 'Christian Music' bonfire, it's a Christian 'Music Bonfire' — they burn satanic music.
George Sr.: George Sr., surrounded by a teriyaki-smelling attic hot tub disaster: 'This isn't turning into the party hangout I hoped.'
Sally · Michael: Sally: 'I'd almost rather date someone my father doesn't approve of.' Then she walks away from Michael — who her father DOES approve of.
All Jokes — 98 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ George Michael · Michael: George Michael asks if anyone would miss the 'Peter and the Wolf read-along record,' Michael says no, it's part of the model home decorations.
George Michael · Michael: George Michael corrects 'Christian Music Bonfire' — it's not a 'Christian Music' bonfire, it's a Christian 'Music Bonfire' — they burn satanic music.
Michael · Narrator: Michael's only music is 'either instructional or humor,' and he's particularly fond of the Jerky Boys.
Michael: The Jerky Boys clip plays: 'I wanna buy a house, Dad. It's gotta be big. You said Dad, buddy. Shut up, Jerky.'
Michael Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch GOB · George Michael: GOB to George Michael: 'Hey George Michael, Jesus called. He wants your Thriller album.'
George Michael · GOB: George Michael asks GOB to cover his shift at the banana stand; GOB eagerly agrees; George Michael's parting shot: 'It's the only way we're ever gonna get it air-conditioned.'
Lucille · Michael: Lucille opens with: 'Michael! How would you like me to owe you a favor?' — then immediately asks him to bid on her at the charity auction.
Michael: Michael: 'Okay. Now I'd like to use up my favor and decline.'
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Setup/Punchline Buster · Lucille 2: Flashback: Buster inadvertently bid $10,000 on Lucille 2 at last year's auction.
Michael · Lucille: Michael: 'And you're embarrassed to have Oscar bid on you.' Lucille: 'With his two pair of pants? You bet.'
Lucille · Michael: Lucille asks: 'Did nothing cancel?' when Michael says he has the afternoon free.
Lindsay · Narrator: Lindsay claims she 'stopped by' the protest but 'hadn't chosen a side' — then we see her shouting 'MURDERERS! YOU'RE ALL MURDERERS!' while someone else advocates for gun rules.
Narrator: The protester turns out to be 'People's Choice nominated actor Moses Taylor, famous for his portrayal of the rule-abiding detective Stop Sign, Frank Wrench, star of the television show Wrench.'
Narrator Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Moses Taylor: Moses Taylor/Frank Wrench's catchphrase after talking about gun rules: 'Well, that's one rule I'm not gonna follow.' — then he fires his gun in the air.
Lindsay: Lindsay: 'And I'm gonna see if I can get a Wrench to strip my nuts.'
Lindsay Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Lindsay: Lindsay's talking head: 'I was trying to be sexy. It just got away from me.'
Lindsay Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Narrator: TV news: 'Plus, another wolf sighting in the park. What that means for your weekend...'
Narrator Running Gag Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator · News Anchor: News broadcast teaser: 'Another wolf sighting in the park. What that means for your weekend...'
Tobias: Tobias: 'I'm afraid the Blue Man Group and I have parted ways. Seems I'm officially no longer a standby understudy. Cease and desist. Seems they don't appreciate competition.'
Tobias Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Tobias Fünke: Cease and desist letter shown: 'Seems they don't appreciate competition.'
Tobias · Michael: Tobias: 'I need to prove to her that I'm not just a man, but a man's man.' Michael: 'I think she knows that.'
GOB · Michael: GOB screams 'JESUS! IT'S THE WOLF! THAT IS THE WOLF! THE WOLF IS UPSTAIRS!' — it's just the Peter and the Wolf record.
GOB Michael Setup/Punchline Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Tobias: Michael: 'I think it's just my son's Peter and the Wolf record.' Tobias: 'I thought that was a homefill.'
George Sr.: George Sr. from the attic: 'Yes, there is a wolf on the loose. His name is Oscar.'
George Sr. · Michael: George Sr.: 'My back is in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison.' Then: 'Hope that was forced.'
George Sr.: George Sr. wants a hot tub in the attic — 'for water supply' and to boil bag-in-bag frozen meals in.
Michael · Narrator: Michael says 'We're done pampering ourselves in this family' — cut to him immediately calling to order the biggest air conditioner available for the banana stand.
George Sr. · Narrator: Flashback to young Michael at the golf course: George Sr. shouts 'IT LOOKS LIKE MY BOY IS GONNA BE STICKING IT TO YOUR DAUGHTER, SITWELL. STICK IT TO HER. STICK IT TO HER.'
Michael: Adult Michael, after the flashback, desperately says: 'We're not gonna be sticking anything. Not-not gonna stick a thing.'
Michael Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael, working at the banana stand, trying to look impressive to Sally: 'No, no, no. Filling in for my son.'
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Michael calling Sally 'Sally Stickwell' instead of Sitwell.
Michael Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback GOB · Michael · Sally: GOB to Sally: 'Because the guys wanted to stick it to me.' Michael: 'What? No. I never—' GOB: 'Michael used to say that.' Michael: 'No, I didn't.' GOB: 'You said other stuff.' Michael: 'I absolutely did not say that.'
GOB · Sally: GOB: 'Are you still doing your little tricks?' — then squirts Sally with lighter fluid and explains there's no flint. 'But still, where did the lighter fluid come from?'
GOB Sally Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick GOB · Michael: GOB: 'Smooth, Michael, like her father's head, chest, arms, legs and ass.' Michael: 'What are you talking about?' GOB: 'He's hairless, Michael. It's a condition.'
GOB Michael Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch GOB · Michael: GOB: 'I hate the guy, but at least he's got...' Michael: 'Satiny and smooth probably.' GOB: 'I'm just different than you, GOB.'
Michael · GOB: Michael reveals GOB's high school scheme: siphoning gas from a girl's car, then showing up to say 'Car troubles?' and driving her in his car.
Michael GOB Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Michael · GOB: GOB: 'It's called taking advantage. It's what gets you ahead in life.' Michael: 'Like you did with our biggest shareholder, Lucille Austero.'
Lucille 2: Cut to Lucille 2's apartment: 'Shall I put the Posturepedic in the down position? Elevate the knees this time?'
GOB · Michael · Buster: GOB: 'You just let Sally Sitwell slip away right when she was ready to go.' — then: 'You were scared.' Michael: 'What are you talking about?' Buster falls off his Segway or stumbles. 'I hurt my ankle yesterday shooting hoops or something.'
Oscar · Lucille: Oscar asks about his pants: 'Lupe washed them, and they sprouted. I threw them out.' / 'Well, that puts a lot of pressure on this pair.'
Lucille · Oscar: Lucille on the fur outfit: 'I think this one's good. Looks like it would've put up a fight.' / 'I put up one to get it.'
Michael · Lucille: Michael to Lucille re: the auction: 'Start at five grand. If there are other bidders, back off gracefully. Shout out, I get her 364 days a year for free, or something.' Lucille: 'You're not gonna hear that phrase.'
Narrator · Tobias: Narrator: 'Tobias came across a flyer that promised to improve both his masculine self-image and his financial standing. They're literally blue, not sad.'
Michael · Sally: Michael shows up at the country club and is forced to wear the club jacket — 'I can't wear this. I look like I'm 16.' — then Sally arrives.
GOB · Lucille 2: GOB orders from the club menu: 'Fried cheese with club sauce.' / 'Popcorn shrimp with club sauce.' / 'Chicken fingers... with spicy club sauce.' / 'Stop it. You're making me dizzy.'
GOB · Lucille 2: GOB: 'Oh, stop it. You're making me dizzy.' / (Lucille 2 reads 'Chicken fingers with spicy club sauce') / GOB: 'No! I mean stop it.'
GOB: GOB: 'I didn't even wanna have lunch with her in the first place. I just... or... I ju...' — trails off into silence.
GOB Character Comedy Awkward Silence Narrator: Narrator: 'And so lunch continued with both Bluth boys trying to prove they weren't interested in the women they were interested in.'
Sally · GOB · Lucille 2: Sally at lunch: 'Did you have too much club sauce on your calamari?' / GOB: 'Read me the desserts.'
GOB: Lucille 2 can't read the dessert menu. GOB: 'She P... probably forgot her old lady glasses.'
GOB Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Stan Sitwell · Michael · GOB: Stan Sitwell reading the dessert menu to Lucille 2: 'An assortment of ice creams and sorbets.' / 'You all right with him reading to your girl?' / 'Not my girl.'
Michael · Narrator · George Sr.: Michael's credit card is declined at the club — 'In fact, the increased activity on Michael's card was his father's.' — cut to George Sr. having a hot tub installed in the attic.
George Sr. · delivery person: 'Somebody order a case of bag & boil frozen dinners?' — the delivery arrives at the attic hot tub installation.
Michael · Sally · club clerk: Michael at the club: 'Can you put this on my mother's card?' Clerk: 'Your mother? No. She's a pool member only.' / Sally: 'You'll excuse me if my tone is not polite, but this is more polite than she has ever talked to me.'
George Sr. · Michael: George Sr. has installed the hot tub in the attic; it's now cooking teriyaki chicken: 'I tried to drink some of the water, and it was too hot, and it tasted like soy sauce. I think the teriyaki chicken burst.'
Michael: Michael: 'That's why people typically don't cook in these things or install them in attics.'
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael · George Sr.: Michael: 'Is that veal marsala stuck in the intake?' George Sr.: 'They all look so good on the boxes.'
George Sr. · Michael: George Sr.: 'You know, it's good you backed off Sally. I don't need that guy saying his daughter's sticking it to my loser son.'
Michael: Michael: 'The reason I never went after her is because you're always pushing me. But now that I know that I don't have your approval, I think I'll finally go for it.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm George Sr.: George Sr., surrounded by a teriyaki-smelling attic hot tub disaster: 'This isn't turning into the party hangout I hoped.'
George Michael: George Michael: 'I was thinking Eminem for a while. But everyone is gonna be burning Eminem.' / 'And then I got this Pat Boone album, but the guy is Christian. But somebody's gotta burn, right?'
Buster: Buster arrives at the house with a tranquilizer rifle: 'I got some looks on the bus 'cause of this.'
Buster Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Buster · Michael: Michael asks if there's a waiting period for the tranquilizer rifle. Buster: 'It turns out there is. Two weeks?' / 'There is a gun show loophole. What timing, huh? Right out back they were having one.'
GOB · Michael: GOB's 'Car troubles?' scheme re-enacted — 'Probably shouldn't do the fireball when you siphon the gas.' / 'I guess this flint's still got a little life left in it, huh?'
GOB Michael Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Moses Taylor: Moses Taylor at the park: 'Sorry I'm late. Fans. Sometimes it takes a while to jar their memories.'
Moses Taylor · Lindsay Fünke: Moses Taylor: 'Nice fur. You know, there are some nuts out there who'd wanna throw red paint all over you. Wait a minute. I think there's one right over there.'
Lindsay · Tobias · Moses Taylor: Lindsay's heel breaks, Tobias shoots her with a tranquilizer dart trying to 'catch the wolf,' Moses Taylor runs away — 'I'm being saved by Frank Wrench. No, you're not.'
Lindsay Fünke · Narrator: Lindsay, dazed: 'I'm being saved by Frank Wrench.' Narrator: 'No, you're not.'
Narrator: Narrator reveals Moses Taylor was 'just trying to distance himself from the outlandish Moses Taylor Hunts People scandal that had been started by a rabid anti-gun fanatic.'
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator · Michael: Narrator: 'Michael did look heroic as he went to put out the fire. Unfortunately, Sally arrived too late to see him that way.'
Michael · Sally: Sally arrives at the burning car. Michael's explanation: 'Car trouble.'
GOB · Lucille 2: GOB to Lucille 2: 'No! I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.' — then hears a noise and says: 'Sshh. I thought I heard my mom.'
GOB · Lucille: GOB says 'I have no courage'; then immediately whispers 'I thought I heard my mom' when he hears a sound. On the other side of the wall, Lucille is indeed there, finalizing plans.
Sally · Michael · hospital clerk: At the hospital, Sally tells Michael she has to go to the charity auction. Hospital clerk: 'I'm sorry, sir. Your Blue Cross Blue Shield was denied. We've called your mother.'
Michael: Michael tells someone to start draining the hot tub — 'It's going back.'
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator · GOB · Lucille: Narrator: 'And GOB was just depressed enough to do so.' — after Lucille asks him to bid on her.
George Michael · Narrator: George Michael about the bonfire: 'I hope I didn't confuse people by saying it was a CD burning party.' Cut to: a massive rave-like party with people burning CDs they just made.
Maeby · Ann · George Michael: Maeby: 'Great party! I burned like 10 CDs from somebody's MP3 player.' Ann: 'This is a disaster.' George Michael: 'Maybe you should just try listening to some of the music. Some of the artists are kind of talented. I don't know if you've heard of the Jerky Boys...'
Auction MC: Auction MC re: Lindsay: 'Next up, we've got last year's charity case, Lindsay Fünke.'
Lindsay: Lindsay staggers onto stage still under the effect of the tranquilizer dart, slurring: 'Hundred dollars, folks? Stick a wrench in me. I'm done.'
Lindsay Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Auction MC · Tobias: The bidding for tranquilized Lindsay: 'Hundred dollars? Anybody got 50? My wife is humiliated.' / 'Twenty?' / 'Ten? Does anybody have 10?'
Tobias · Michael: Tobias: 'I haven't been the perfect husband. I admit that. But now is my chance to be a hero.' — then begs Michael for money to bid, describing why: 'You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.'
Tobias Fünke: Tobias: 'You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.'
Michael · Tobias · Auctioneer: Michael accidentally bids $5,000 on Lindsay when trying to help Tobias
Michael · Auction MC: Michael accidentally bids $5,000 on the tranquilized Lindsay — 'I've got $5,000 and I need that for Sally, but if you wanna make a low bid...' — MC: 'Five thousand dollars. For that? Sold.'
Tobias: Tobias: 'I think you overpaid.'
Tobias Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Ann · George Michael: At the bonfire-party, Ann and George Michael make prank calls together: 'Let me try. Hey, Rubberneck.' — Ann: 'He knows it was us.'
Ann Veal · George Michael · Narrator: Ann: 'Hey, Rubberneck.' Narrator: 'He knows it was us.' George Michael: 'What?'
Stan Sitwell · Michael: Stan Sitwell at the auction bids on Sally. Michael says: 'You're not bidding? I was hoping you would.' Sitwell: 'You're a good kid. You always have been. Not like that showboat of a father of yours, if you don't mind me saying.' Michael: 'I've called him so much worse.'
Stan Sitwell: Sitwell: 'I need one. Mine got torched today.' — referring to why he needs the Corvette Michael just won. The car that was torched is the one GOB blew up.
Michael · Stan Sitwell · Sally: Michael bids $15,000 on Sally. Sally is stunned; Sitwell says: 'This puts a lot of pressure on me.' / 'It's for a good cause. I heard it was to reseed the greens.' / 'Gonna be a lot of shifts for you at the banana stand, huh?'
Michael · Sally · Auctioneer: Michael bids $15,000 on Sally; Sally's reaction: 'This puts a lot of pressure on me.'
Michael · Stan Sitwell: Michael reveals he sold the Corvette to cover the bid — to Sally's father. 'My father can't drive a convertible.' / 'Mind if I open it up?' — and Sitwell immediately takes it for a joyride.
Sally · Michael: Sally: 'I'd almost rather date someone my father doesn't approve of.' Then she walks away from Michael — who her father DOES approve of.
Michael: Michael, alone after Sally leaves: 'That-that-that is like me. That's exactly like me!'
Michael Character Comedy Reaction Beat GOB: GOB, bidding on Lucille at the auction, sees Sitwell bidding on Lucille 2: 'First he fires me, then he steals my...' — pause — 'mother's best friend.'
GOB Character Comedy Awkward Silence Auction MC: The MC at the end: 'Wow. You guys really want a new golf course. And all from nonmembers.'
Narrator · George Sr.: On the next Arrested Development: George Sr. shows up to bid on Lucille, but 'the sound of his wolf call and the smell of chicken teriyaki interfere.'
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