Queen For A Day

George Michael:George Michael hiding love letters to his cousin titled 'If You Weren't My Cousin'

Michael · George Michael:Michael offers George Michael a ride: 'You don't need to be penned up with them. I'll drive you both. We'll take the stairs.'

George Michael · Michael:George Michael explains kids are still talking about Michael 'taking down that homecoming banner' with the stair car

George Michael:George Michael: 'It's not a car.' Beat. 'But- But, no.' When asked if he's embarrassed to be seen in the stair car.

Michael:Michael's internal monologue: 'I've got to get a new car.'

Maeby's boss:Maeby's boss: 'Did you get the stack of scripts that I sent you? 'Cause you certainly look well-rested.'

Maeby:Maeby deflecting her boss's flirtation with 'Yeah. Why don't we ask your wife to come with us?'

Buster · Michael:Buster explains why he's home: 'everybody's out dancing with their girl and I'm home sitting with Mom.' Michael: 'Mom doesn't wanna go dancing?' Buster: 'I think the age difference is really starting to catch up to us.'

Michael:Michael suggests Buster meet women 'who didn't give birth to you'

Tobias:Tobias: 'My schedule, however, is as open as my relationship with my wife.'

Tobias:Tobias: 'Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.'

Michael:Michael's reaction beat: 'Boy, that's enough family stuff for today.'

Gob:Gob's housing pitch: 'Fifty-two percent of the country is single. That's a market dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it Single City.'

Narrator · Gob:Narrator: 'His ideas failed to evolve.' — Cut to Gob pitching 'Swing City'

Gob:Gob's final pitch: 'because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man, because you're livin' in- City.'

Gob · Michael:Gob stole Sitwell's dress eyebrows. 'He's not gonna be happy about that.' / 'No, especially when he goes to the opera with two mustaches on his forehead.'

Michael · Gob:Michael: 'Are you serious? Dad gave you the Camaro? I thought you won that on Card Sharks.' Gob: 'Michael, I was never on Card Sharks. Dad told us not to tell you.'

George Sr.:George Sr.: 'At least in prison, we had knife fights, and we had movie night. And once both. Those men did not enjoy Soapdish. I think you have to know that world.'

Michael:Michael: 'I'm driving a staircase, for God's sake. It smells like gas. I get hop-ons.'

George Sr.:George Sr.: 'Well, of course you're gonna get hop-ons.'

George Sr.:George Sr.'s guilt trip: 'I gave you company, which, apparently, you don't want to give to me.'

Starla's friend:Starla's friend commiserating about mothers: 'Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's like "Die already!"'

Buster:Buster: 'I love my mother. She's one of the two most important people in my life. You know, she and Quincy.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'A spokesman for Mr. Jones denies they've ever met, although he could not explain the six signed gold records in Starla's apartment.'

Starla · Buster:Starla: 'I could never be with a man who doesn't love his mother.' Buster reacts with romantic surprise.

Gob:Gob: 'I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with- Mountain.'

Gob · Michael:Gob: 'I'm gonna prove to you that I'm worthy of rehiring if it takes every ounce of determination that I've got.' Then immediately leaves.

Michael · Gob:Michael: 'Where are you going?' Gob exits. 'Did you want me to stay and do that?'

Barry:Barry: 'I'll tell you one thing you don't want to do is buy stock in the L.A. Kings.'

Barry:Barry: 'I thought you had four. Oh, you mean a real one.' (regarding Michael wanting a car)

Michael · Barry:Michael dictating a letter to investors, Barry suggests perfect wording, then: 'Uh, yeah. Wh-What you just said was perfect. Why do you want me to write it?' Michael: 'Just send it out on your stationery. And do it quickly. I have a car to buy.'

Maeby:Maeby drops a script on herself while reading secretly. 'Ow! Back to film school-'

George Sr. · Narrator:George Sr. reads the script Maeby dropped. His note: 'Armageddon. That's a bad title.'

Michael · Car salesman:Car salesman: 'Oh, something like this? We have, like, 400 of these.' Michael: 'I don't need anything too popular.' Salesman: 'Oh, they're not popular. We have 400 of them.'

Michael · Car salesman:Car salesman recognizes Michael: 'Oh, you're the stair car guy. You took down our banner.' Michael: 'Yeah. Sorry. I got a hop-on.'

Michael · Car salesman:Salesman lists the car's negatives — no back seat, attracts tickets, insurance costs as much as the last three cars — and Michael fixates on the free windbreaker: 'The windbreaker? Windbreaker comes with it too?' 'I'll take it.'

Narrator · Michael:Narrator: 'Michael had just indulged himself with an expensive sports car—' [cuts to Michael already at the dealership signing] 'And here again, please.'

Tobias · Buster:Tobias: 'This place is exactly what I had hoped for.' Cut to: it's a women's bar. Buster: 'All ladies.' Tobias: 'Mmm.'

Tobias:Tobias: 'Well, I've heard that this uniform is the best way to meet—' [interrupted by Lucille 2]

Lucille 2 · Buster:Lucille 2 grabs Buster and begins spinning. 'And I am rock steady! No more dizzies!' [immediately gets vertigo and falls]

Buster:Buster: 'Well, I would hardly call my mother a girl.' (responding to Lucille 2 asking if there's a girl in his life)

Lucille 2 · Buster:Lucille 2: 'No, I mean, uh, someone who makes you hear music.' Buster: 'Oh. Well, she mostly likes talk radio.'

Lucille 2 · Buster:Lucille 2 tries again: 'and also who makes you hear beautiful music.' Beat. Buster: 'Oh. No.'

Lucille 2:A random bar patron steps in front of Lucille 2 and Buster and begins singing Sinatra. 'Everybody thinks they're Frank Sinatra.'

Michael · Buster:Lucille locked Buster on the balcony. Michael: 'What tripped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?' Buster: 'That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.'

Michael · Lucille:Michael: 'You baited the balcony?' Lucille: 'Prove it.'

Lucille:Lucille explains the remodeling: she had Lucille 2's construction crew do her bathroom instead. 'Well, I sat on one of these jets. But I think we can fix it.'

Lucille:Lucille: 'I moved the wall a couple of inches into her penthouse.'

Lucille · Michael:Lucille sold stock after reading Barry's letter. Michael: 'I sent you that letter. It says not to sell.' Lucille: 'It does? I stopped at "unfrozen."'

Gob:Gob: 'What? No. I'm trying to get a job from you, Mikey. Come on.' (re: selling stock)

Tobias · Gob:Tobias: 'No, no, no. The club. I was dancing with what turned out to be the club's owner, and he was looking to sell.' Gob: 'Oh, he really, really did look like a woman.'

Tobias:Tobias defends the Queen Mary club purchase: 'can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?'

Michael · Narrator:Michael: 'Did you guys not read the letter?' Narrator: 'None of them had read past the word "unfrozen."'

George Michael · Michael:George Michael: 'Hey, Dad, is that your new car in the driveway? I can't believe you got a Corvette!'

Michael:Michael: 'It's a company car.'

Barry:Barry: 'That's what they said on AskJeeves.'

Barry · Michael · Gob:The hostile company is called 'Standpoor' — 'as in the opposite of Sitwell... which is run by a hairless man who could be very upset with you right now.' Michael: 'What would he have to be upset with me about?' [beat] 'You're wearing his eyebrows?'

Gob:Gob is still wearing Sitwell's stolen eyebrows: 'They make me feel dressier.'

Michael · George Sr.:Michael's phone call: 'Kind of. To something called Standpoor. Yeah, it's Sitwell.' George Michael on the other end: 'It's Lucille Austero.' Michael: 'Lucille 2?' 'Standpoor, because she can't stand up without falling over.'

Lucille:Lucille: 'I don't know why she'd have any trouble. A piano could stand on those legs.'

Lucille:Lucille: 'I think we're gonna need a new floating thermometer.' (after explaining the Lucille 2 revenge plot)

Lucille · Michael:Lucille: 'Give her Buster.' Michael: 'What?' Lucille: 'We need our company back.'

Starla's Roommate:Starla's roommate: 'She's saying good-bye to someone named Q. If she can get past his security system, she's gonna tell him it's over.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'Starla being a woman that wasn't 70.'

Michael · Buster:Michael's metaphor to Buster: 'You know, you want something sensible, you end up getting pushed into something flashy.' Buster: 'What does that mean?'

Michael:Michael to Buster: 'Don't you think you belong in a Lucille?'

George Michael · Maeby:George Michael explains he wrote notes on Maeby's scripts. Maeby: 'They were great. I mean, they said so many things I wanted to say, but I didn't know how.' George Michael: 'Don't tell anyone, okay?' 'Never.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'I guess she didn't see the drawings.'

Tobias:Tobias confronts the sign painter: 'No, no. It's supposed to say "Tobias's Queen Mary." No, that is not what it says.'

Tobias:Tobias: 'Well, I suppose I could just paint over "Mary."' Neighbor: 'Don't bother, man. This is our club now.'

Narrator · Lindsay:Narrator: 'Tobias didn't want to sell his new club, but Lindsay did. Which is why she hired several members of a local stripper agency called the Hot Cops to pose as the roughnecks.'

Tobias:Tobias to the Hot Cops: 'I know you know nothing but a life on the street, but I'd like to offer you something that the Queen Mary gave me. The joy of the stage. So maybe you could, uh, start jeté-ing and stop "je-terrorizing" me.'

Tobias:Tobias: '...maybe you could start jeté-ing and stop "je-terrorizing" me.'

Buster · Starla:Narrator: 'Buster, now convinced that Lucille 2 was the right woman for him, broke up with Starla.' [Buster arrives looking dejected] Starla: 'You okay?' Buster: 'It was for the best anyway. A girl like that deserves to be taken care of, and I'm just a poor soldier.'

Buster · Michael:Michael realizes Buster didn't sell his stock. Buster: 'Your letter said not to, and I would never want to hurt the family.'

Michael:Michael tells Buster to go back to Lucille 2: 'I'll take care of Lucille 2 for you. Let her down easy. That right knee could go at any time.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'And at the "Tobias is Queen Mary"...'

Tobias:Tobias watches his Hot Cops protégés dance in the club: 'Wow. You really have made some amazing strides in a half an hour.'

Tobias · Hot Cops:Tobias leads his Hot Cops gang into the street to perform tap dance as gang deterrence. They break into: 'So you think you're tough / Well, we hate rappin' / But don't bust a cap in / 'Cause here's what's happenin' / We're breakin' out some old-fashioned tappin''

Tobias:Tobias's tap rap: 'So you think you're tough / Well, we hate rappin' / But don't bust a cap in / 'Cause here's what's happenin' / We're breakin' out some old-fashioned tappin''

Tobias · Hot Cops:'Oh, I've been shot!' Tobias: 'We miscalculated! Retreat!' 'Quick, switch to Follies!' 'That's not gonna help!'

Narrator:Narrator: 'Meanwhile, Michael and Lucille 2 arrived to find the club nearly empty. Although Michael would have fit in perfectly.'

Michael:Michael confesses to Lucille 2 that he sent Buster to date her to get the company stock back. 'The only reason that he asked you out tonight was because I wanted him to get the stock back from you so that I could regain control of the company. But I would— I'd rather have my brother back. So— I'm sorry.'

Lucille 2:Lucille 2: 'Like the Bluths? I love the Bluths. Why did you buy up all of our company stock?' 'To support you guys.' 'I have always had a standing order to buy up any available Bluth stock.'

Lucille 2 · Michael:Lucille 2: 'Actually, there is a condition.' Michael: 'Anything.' Lucille 2: 'Call me a cab.' Michael: 'Ah, because of my driving. Yes.'

Michael · Lucille:Michael: 'I fixed everything.' Lucille: 'Oh?' Michael: 'With the business. It's all taken care of.' Michael: 'You didn't think I could, but I did.'

Gob:Gob: 'My mom really took up a bunch of your space, huh? What a bitch.' Lucille 2 is confused. 'When she expanded her bathroom and moved your wall over. That's why all your stuff's sticking out.'

Lucille 2:Lucille 2: 'Your mother really has a way of getting my goat.'

Gob · Michael:Gob: 'Oh, and she's not gonna give the shares back now.' Michael: 'You just said that you fixed everything.' Gob: 'Oh, I meant my problems. Yeah, she's gonna make me the new president.'

Michael:Michael: 'You don't need to prove yourself to me, little brother. You will always have a job here. But I do need the keys to the company car.'

Narrator · Lucille 2:On the next Arrested Development: Lucille 2 'reclaims some space.' [Implied: she moves the wall back or goes further]

Barry:On the next: Barry after winning the Kings settlement: 'I've wanted a small family restaurant since I got the Kings settlement.' Questioner: 'It still has the dungeon area, right?'