Ann Veal

Ann:Ann: 'What did he say? Did he ask about me?' [re: Ice, the bounty hunter]

Narrator · Michael · Ann:Narrator: 'Unfortunately, this left the girl Michael was determined to get to know alone in Mexico.'

Michael · Ann:Michael to Ann: 'Yeah? Way to plant, Ann.'

Michael · Ann:Michael sits with Ann to get to know her: 'Ann, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?' Long silence. Reaction beat.

Michael · George Michael · Ann:George Michael has closed the banana stand to spend time with Ann; Michael tells him to keep his phone on and calls him 'pal.'

George Michael · Ann:George Michael, immediately after the phone call is cut, says 'I think we should break up' — followed by a coughing sob from Ann.

Michael · Gob · Ann:Michael shows Gob Ann, the girl who 'ripped his heart out, whose face will always be etched in my mind' — cut to Ann's unremarkable face.

Narrator · Ann:Spin, spin, spin. — [Narrator] Ann wasn't as amazing as George Michael led his father to believe.

Maeby · Ann · George Michael:Maeby: 'Great party! I burned like 10 CDs from somebody's MP3 player.' Ann: 'This is a disaster.' George Michael: 'Maybe you should just try listening to some of the music. Some of the artists are kind of talented. I don't know if you've heard of the Jerky Boys...'

Ann · George Michael:At the bonfire-party, Ann and George Michael make prank calls together: 'Let me try. Hey, Rubberneck.' — Ann: 'He knows it was us.'

Ann · George Michael:Ann confronts George Michael about skipping church to do 'neither' (not church, not working), then is horrified he's drinking — which is a Virgin Mary.

George Michael · Ann · Waiter:The waiter delivers George Michael's virgin piña colada mid-Ann's religious scolding, making it look like he's 'drinking'

George Michael · Ann · Lucille:Lucille's attempt to have Ann criticized away by Lucille fails: Lucille is too distracted by Buster's departure to criticize. Ann: 'Hey, do you have any bread pudding? 'Cause you'd be surprised how much this one can put away.'

Ann · George Michael:Ann tells the grief-stricken Lucille: 'You know, when times are tough, you can always turn to the power of prayer.' George Michael: 'Here we go.'

Lindsay · Ann:Lindsay whispering to herself: 'This isn't working.' / Then to Ann: 'Is it my imagination, or is he more commanding and mannish? It's like — I don't know. Maybe I do want to be with him.'

Ann · Lindsay:Ann advises Lindsay to go to Tobias: 'For as it is written, you shall be with whom you have formed a more perfect union with under God.' / Lindsay: '[Laughs] She's right.'

Ann · George Michael:Ann convinces George Michael to run: 'George Michael, I want you to do it.' / 'But I don't think I'm ready.' / 'Of course you are.' / 'I'm going to lose it before I start.' — all misread as sexual innuendo before 'Don't start. Smoking.'

Michael · Ann · George Michael:Michael claims to have been student body president; it emerges he lost — 'Who remembers?' / 'I know I would remember.' / 'I didn't say I won. I said I can't remember.' / 'Good memory.'

Ann:Ann's ecstatic description of their future wedding night: 'that first time, after waiting and waiting, it's gonna be so awesome! Because it's not just gonna be my love and George Michael's, but God's love, as well. God, it's gonna be incredible!'

Michael · Ann:Ann is using the Bluth company copier to make campaign posters for George Michael — Michael asks 'How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA?'

Ann:Steve Holt has won 'three years in a row. Every year after his first junior year.'

Ann:'That's like comparing apples and some fruit nobody's ever heard of.' / 'He might even finish after the Indian kid.'

Ann · Michael:After Michael reluctantly agrees to go to the school, Ann hands him campaign posters to put up: 'And do you think you could put up a couple of these when you're there? 'Cause I was really not in the mood to go down there.'

Ann · George Michael · Michael:George Michael's campaign poster — 'We're going to use your idea, and really highlight being chaste.' — the poster is shown to be deeply weird/explicitly religious in content

Ann · Gob · Michael:Ann storms out of the campaign meeting: 'I can't support this.' / Gob: 'And neither can the Christian kids that were going to make you president.' / Michael: 'She's wh... Ann?' / 'I think she's really upset about this.' / 'She'll forgive you. You're George Michael!'

Narrator · Ann:Steve Holt's campaign video was produced by Ann Veal — revealed as a surprise

Ann · George Michael:Ann finds the Star Wars footage endearing and asks George Michael to 'grab a current rod' and come over

Ann · George Michael:Ann watches George Michael's Star Wars moves and says: 'You were incredible. I've only gotten better.' George Michael casually confirms he's still doing lightsaber choreography

Ann · George Michael:Ann: 'So, you want to grab a current rod and go over to my place?' — clearly referring to lightsaber practice equipment; George Michael: 'Wow, I'd love that.'

George Michael · Ann · George Michael:Oh, yeah. I'm not gonna do it now. / Because Ann's mom doesn't approve of our family? Come on. / It's just some stupid plan your father was trying. / Plan? What plan?

George Michael · Ann:Take it. Take the sacred ring. / Not the snake. That doesn't come off.

Ann · George Michael · Pastor Veal:Let's do it. Now. / Let's actually get married. / Right now? / My father's in there. He can do it as soon as he finishes. / 'I'll always be here for you to rest your ankles upon my shoulders.'

Ann · Ann:It sounds like your father just gave us permission to start doing it. / You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.

Michael · Ann · George Michael:Michael interrupts Ann and George Michael's intimate-sounding exchange about 'doing it' — it's about cigarettes

Ann:'Smoking. It's a killer. That Sammy Davis Jr. should still be performing.'

Ann · George Michael:Ann's rhapsodizing about the first time with George Michael: 'It's not just gonna be my love and George Michael's, but God's love as well. God, it's gonna be incredible.'

George Michael · Ann · Michael:George Michael says 'I'll do it. I'm pumped.' — Michael thinks he means the campaign, Ann thinks she meant... something else

George Michael · Ann · Michael:George Michael: 'We're gonna use your idea and highlight being chaste.' Campaign poster reveals: 'GEORGE MICHAEL: TASTE THE CHASTE.'

Ann · George Michael:Ann to George Michael about his lightsaber moves: 'George Michael, was that really you doing those lightsaber moves? You were incredible. I've only gotten better. You're still doin' that?' / Ann: 'So, you wanna grab a curtain rod and go over to my place?'

Ann · Narrator · George Michael:Ann: 'No, I want to get the whole church group together. We're gonna picket those bastards.' Narrator: 'George Michael had only heard Ann swear once before...'

Ann · George Michael · Narrator:Narrator: Ann's previous swear was at a protest of Marc Cherry's home, executive producer of Desperate Housewives. Cut to Ann: 'It's a satire!' / George Michael: 'There's nothing funny about fornication!' / Ann: 'The bastard saw us!'

George Michael · Ann:George Michael is holding a protest sign that says 'This is a tricky, gray area.' Ann: 'He even helped me make the signs.' George Michael: 'Well, only mine and the one that says, 'This is a tricky, gray area.''

Ann:Ann: 'Oh, no. We're making it worse.' / Ann: 'Prepare to be swallowed into the depths of hell!'

George Michael · Ann:George Michael: 'I guess that means no kiss?' Ann: 'I'm not really in the mood for a kiss.' George Michael: 'This isn't Marc Cherry's house.'

Tobias · Ann:Ann: 'I'll sing to the camel.' Tobias: 'Yes, we can Google some disco songs with the word hump in them.' Ann: 'No, that sounds a bit racy.'

Announcer · Ann:Announcer: 'And now, please welcome Annabelle Veal, performing We Three Kings with a camel tow.'

George Michael · Ann:George Michael: 'I was worried that if you came in first you'd outgrown me.' Ann: 'Outgrown you. That is the term I've been looking for.'

Gob · Ann:Way to plant, Ann. You told me George Michael knew about us. Well, he does now, my darling plant. Ann.

Ann:Gob! For a second, I thought that was a real guy.

Ann · Gob:So how did you like your egg? I said you were fine.

Ann:Was there something you wanted to talk about when you came in through my window?

Gob · Ann:Gob's extended stammering attempt to break up with Ann while she interrogates him.

Gob · Ann · Narrator:Well, marry me. Yes. Yes, I'll marry you, Gob! Of course, Gob meant it in the showbizzy way his niece had always used when she was accused of being too young. What are you, like 15? Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.

Ann · Gob:I know it's bad luck for you to see me in my gown before the wedding. Well, hopefully I haven't.

Gob · Ann:I didn't want to make a big deal about it. You haven't.

Pastor Veal · Ann:Well, I guess we'll wait two weeks and see if he's in there. Is that okay with you, Ann? He's not coming back.

Narrator · Church Member · Ann:Eleven exciting days, although nothing's really happened. Day 11. Once he gets out, it's going to be a beautiful, beautiful wedding. He's not coming back.

Congregation Member · Ann:There's a note. 'If I have not yet returned, I am in the Rapture.' Oh, and then it says... What does he think we've been doing?

Ann · Gob:I sold your cave on Craigslist. So it was all worth it. We have money to start our life together.

Gob · Ann:The Gob mask / Tony Wonder mask / 'Straight bait' plan — Gob explains an increasingly convoluted plot to Ann involving masks, hidden cameras, and 'fake gay but actually straight sex'

Gob · Ann:Ann: 'I have a child with him!' Gob: 'Okay, yes, new plan. I'm going to wear this Tony Wonder mask, you're going to wear the Gob mask, and... I am going to have sex with you.'

Tony Wonder · Ann:Tony pops up in the model home looking for somewhere to hide: 'Hello? Hello?' — and finds Ann

Tony Wonder · Ann:Tony to Ann: 'I just thought that if you had to have sex with a man, wouldn't it be more of a turn-on to have sex with someone that looks like you?'

Narrator · Ann:Narrator: 'And that's how Ann not only performed a real-life version of Tony's most beloved illusion... / Now everybody's gay! / ...but was responsible for the first reported instance of a Christian straight-to-gay conversion.'