George Sr. tries to find a way to attend an anniversary dinner for Lucille while Michael deliberately offends Ann's devout Christian parents. Tobias goes overboard performing his "Mrs. Featherbottom" persona.
Cringe-heavy episode delivers 54 jokes in 54 minutes, just shy of elite status.
Directed by Joe Russo, Anthony Russo · Written by Barbie Adler, Richard A. Rosenstock
WAR
49.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Meat The Veals” ranks #61 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.0 — Elite. The episode packs 54 scored jokes at 1.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Narrator: As it turned out, he got too serious with the teddy bear.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Lucille: What am I doing in a Nordstrom bag?
Tobias: Who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States you call it a sausage in the mouth.
Tobias Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pastor Veal: I'll always be here for you to rest your ankles upon my shoulders.
Buster: Well, he didn't return when I lost my hand. But you- you not only embrace it... but I saw you kissing it while you thought I was sleeping.
Buster Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 54 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Tobias: Who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States you call it a sausage in the mouth.
Tobias Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: We just call it a sausage.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Narrator: The family, of course, knew it was Tobias... but the house had never been cleaner.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lindsay: The premier- of Canada. He's going out with my gym teacher.
Lindsay Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jeff: Yeah. I looked that up. It's a ninth grade history textbook.
Jeff Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Narrator · Maeby: Unfortunately, the job was wreaking havoc with her language. Maybe we just need a new- [Bleeps] housekeeper.
Michael: Having my day ruined with whatever you're about to ask me to do.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: He is aware that he's not married to you, right?
Lucille: Not now. It's my time of the month. Not now. I don't want to risk having a baby. It could kill me.
Buster: Well, he didn't return when I lost my hand. But you- you not only embrace it... but I saw you kissing it while you thought I was sleeping.
Buster Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Franklin: Can I tell you somethin', my man? You are one cool- [Bleeps] Speakin' of mothers, let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar.
Franklin Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Lucille: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act? He also said some things that African-Americany wasn't ready to hear either.
Lucille Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Narrator: As it turned out, he got too serious with the teddy bear.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Imagine what he'd say about her.
Narrator: In fact, Lindsay was currently wearing it on her middle toe, roast beef.
Narrator Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · George Sr.: Well, that's the first I've heard of this. Well, then who said 'Her?' Me. That was-That was me. But, um, her?
George Michael: Actually, you tried to put a banger in my mouth this morning.
Michael Reaction Beat Character Comedy George Sr.: Get your loser hand out of my ass.
George Sr. Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch George Sr.: Never too late to start.
Michael: I don't go religiously. I mean, I'm not a nut about it. Because there is no such thing as a nut when it comes to religion, Pastor.
Mrs. Veal: Next you're gonna say how Ann and I can be sisters.
Mrs. Veal: Who can blame you? You gotta lock that down.
Tobias: We shan't be telling your mother this, shan't we?
Tobias Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Michael: Well, Ann's got a great deal of mass.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Maeby: Fifteen-year-old. Marry me!
Maeby Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Maeby Absurdist Running Gag Michael: Dad escaped from prison. Did you not know that?
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort George Sr. · Franklin: I ain't your daddy! How's it goin', brother?
George Sr.: Bring her in here, knock her out with this ether, and you stuff her into this garment bag.
George Sr. · Franklin · Gob: Put the ether on the puppet's lips. Have the puppet kiss her. I ain't kissin' that old bitch. That's my wife, you bastard!
Michael: The mere fact that you're laughing about marriage... means that you're not ready, okay?
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy George Michael: Maybe I should ask if she wants to get pre-pre-engaged. Add another-
Lucille: Oh, who let this little black- [Bleeps]
Lucille Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mrs. Veal: I want to please you secularly.
Michael · Mrs. Veal: I was surprised because of Ann. Well- Why because of Ann? Because of an old wives' tale.
Tobias: Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of veal.
Tobias Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Tobias: Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of veal.
Oscar · Maeby: Her? Does she look old enough to play Topher Grace's mom?
Tobias: I had this shipped over from 'Blackstool.' It's what I used to drive the Roger Moores about in.
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Lucille: What am I doing in a Nordstrom bag?
George Michael: Oh, man. I can't wait to get married.
Pastor Veal: I'll always be here for you to rest your ankles upon my shoulders.
Pastor Veal: 'I'll always be here for you to rest your ankles upon my shoulders.'
Narrator: But they did think alike... and neither could land a blow.
Narrator Physical/Slapstick Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: You really should lock that down.
Michael Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Police: Put your hands up, or we'll take that as a sign of aggression against us. They're not up! He's aggressive!
Tobias · Narrator: Oh, no. My wig seems to have run off. On George Sr., as it turned out.
Lucille: Let's alternate hot and cool on that.
Lucille Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Mrs. Veal: Let's alternate hot and cool on that.
Ann: You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.
Ann Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Ann: You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.
Ann Character Comedy Escalation Police · Buster · Franklin: Drug dog's got something. Get him, Bennett! I don't want no part of your tight-ass country club... you freak bitch!
Franklin: I don't want no part of your tight-ass country club... you freak bitch!
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