Gob and Buster team up for some magic tricks with the help of Buster's fake hand, but when Tony Wonder, a rival magician, starts to mentor them, somebody gets the finger. Meanwhile, Michael is forced to delegate some work when he's hospitalized and Lindsay teaches George Michael how to drive using the staircar.
Deadpan escalation carries a solid 80.9 score across 61 jokes in 23 minutes.
Directed by Peter Lauer · Written by Brad Copeland
WAR
64.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Sword Of Destiny” ranks #49 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.9 — Elite. The episode packs 61 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Narrator: [Narrator] Actually, he'd been hiding inside the dumbwaiter for over 20 minutes waiting for someone to use the word 'wonder.'
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Tobias: Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Gob · Frank: My middle finger and index finger are- Switched for the first time ever. Nice job, Frank. Amazing.
Gob Frank Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Gob: He cut off my- [Bleeps] fingers! I'm not kidding! He cut off my- [Bleeps] fingers!
Gob Physical/Slapstick Escalation Narrator: [Narrator] Well, that part wasn't true. But they would've.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 61 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Narrator: [Narrator] Well, that part wasn't true. But they would've.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Lindsay · Michael: I need you to hire him. [phone cuts to dial tone] Hi. I'm sor- Look, it isn't my idea, it's his.
Tobias: Tobias singing in falsetto as Mrs. Featherbottom
Tobias Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Lindsay · Michael: No. She's the only one who can hand wash my delicates. Yeah, the real Tobias wouldn't do that.
Tobias Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Tobias: Wow. Gobias Industries. [Hard 'G'] Gobias. Right. I remember, yeah. As in 'Go buy us a cup of-'
Starla: I have rabies, Michael. You know that. Today was day four of my shots.
Starla Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Ted · Tobias: Ted. Did Ted make an appointment? No, I just work down the hall and- [Tobias] No. Well, then, Ted can get the hell out of this office! You get the hell out!
Tobias: Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Lindsay · Gob: Ancient Chinese Secret, huh? [Both] Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?
Gob: Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick, want slow. Wait, that's Indian. Tea for dong.
Gob Cringe/Discomfort Wordplay/Pun Gob · Shop Owner: Sweet blade. It's the Sword of Destiny. It's full of ancient magic. Oh, yeah? You into magic?
Gob: Still, where'd the lighter fluid come from?
Gob Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Michael: Looks like you're looking for dragons, in the future.
Michael Observational Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Gob: Bleeding? Nope. Yeah, that's blood.
Gob: Michael, if I make this comeback... I'll buy you 100 George Michaels you can teach to drive!
Gob Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Gob: You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably. My socks are wet. Sorry. You'll be sorry! Wait, that doesn't work after his line.
Michael Gob Escalation Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Narrator: [Narrator] Actually, Maeby had received a company car from the movie studio where she was secretly posing as an executive.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · George Sr.: What's the deal with the turban? Huh? [Chuckles] Pretty smart, huh? And-And it's warm too.
George Sr. · Tobias: When do you start being my mole at my company? Actually, Michael turned me down for the job. What? Something to do with their housing order being cut back.
George Sr.: Oh, my God, that's a horrible sign- Ow! Damn it!
Michael: We're gonna cover the hydraulic flaps and the riser system after I tell you the basics about how to avoid a hop-on.
Michael Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Let's go over the route to the hospital. Ow!
Tobias as Mrs. Featherbottom · Michael: My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you. Well, now I'm a little sicker.
Michael: I'm peeing. Am I peeing?
Doctor: It may have taken the tingle out of your genitals.
Doctor Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Tobias · Dr. Stein: You're lucky. He's the best. Well, only in the county. But I'm certainly good enough to take out that appendix of yours.
Dr. Stein: Hopefully not too slow, because it's already dangerously slow as it is. [Dr. Stein Chuckles]
Dr. Stein Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Tony Wonder: Hook! Forgot about that thing, Elephant Man. Gonna have to figure out something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.
Narrator: which many claimed suffered due to its pop-up ads.
Narrator Observational Deadpan/Understatement George Sr. Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Tony Wonder: Tony Wonder appearing from bread loaf and screaming
Tony Wonder: I folded it up into some squares, and I put it in a pouch under my shirt... and then I pull it out, and I make it look like it came out of my skin.
Tony Wonder: I folded it up into some squares, and I put it in a pouch under my shirt and then I pull it out, and I make it look like it came out of my skin.
Tony Wonder: I started out as a little 'W.' Somehow I became a big one. I don't even know how it happened.
Tony Wonder Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tony Wonder: Enjoy the Hanukkah cookie, man.
Tobias: My name is Dr. Tobias Fünke and I'll be filling in for Michael, who is not sick. In fact, just today I saw a sliver of his buttocks and they're as fresh and firm as a Georgia peach, so not to worry.
Tobias Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lindsay · George Michael: Now, put your foot on the brake. There's a light in a half mile. [Brakes Grinding]
Buster: In this magic trick, I'm going to put a sword... through my assistant's tummy.
Buster Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Buster: It's a real sword, master.
Buster Escalation Dark/Subversive Buster · Audience: It's a real sword, master. Oh-ho!
Tony Wonder: My brother's widow. It's- [Bleeps] up.
Tony Wonder: The 'How'd he do dats?' ate it up. Sorry. That's what we call the audience.
Tony Wonder Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Buster: Oh, it still needs three stamps.
Buster Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Lindsay: He was doing really well. Had his first hop-on.
Lindsay Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback George Michael: She's still trying to get the stairs unwedged from the emergency room overhang.
Dr. Stein: But once I got in there, the appendix wasn't so inflamed. D'oh.
Dr. Stein Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Dr. Stein: I want to show these interns what the best doctor in Southern California can do.
Dr. Stein Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback TV Reporter: The F.B.I. Has matched the design of the attic to one of Saddam Hussein's Iraqi houses.
Tobias Callback Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator: [Narrator] Actually, he'd been hiding inside the dumbwaiter for over 20 minutes waiting for someone to use the word 'wonder.'
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Gob · Tony Wonder: I grant him magic sanctuary. That's fine. I second the sanctuary. But with a clause of silence.
Tony Wonder: Look at Tiagra, my girl. Don't look at her. 'Cause you look at her and it affects her in a way that I don't feel comfortable with. Or go for it. I don't care, whatever.
Dr. Stein: See, we got the abscess, but I think we might have left some snippers in there. It's not very likely, but one of the assistants having taken them is even less likely.
Dr. Stein: Well, uh, we had a little whoopsie. See, we got the abscess, but I think we might have left some snippers in there.
Dr. Stein Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Ted: We leased the top floor to another company and moved down here. But we can stay in business without having to build the extra houses. We did it!
Ted Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: He cut off my- [Bleeps] fingers! I'm not kidding! He cut off my- [Bleeps] fingers!
Gob Physical/Slapstick Escalation Buster · Gob: Handle first. Handle first. [Screams] Oh, my fingers!
Dr. Stein: I've shortened your calf muscles to theoretically increase your jumping ability. But if it works, I could be the best in the world.
Gob · Frank: My middle finger and index finger are- Switched for the first time ever. Nice job, Frank. Amazing.
Gob Frank Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch George Sr.: You're not half the man he was! This kid's got moves.
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