Michael attempts to fire the family's incompetent, but likeable attorney. George Michael impresses Maeby with a muscle suit for a "Living Classics" pagent. Tobias has a psychological affliction where he is unable to take off his clothes.
Bluth family dysfunction peaks at 2.14 jokes-per-minute despite middling 78 score.
Directed by Joe Russo · Written by Abraham Higginbotham
WAR
131.8
Wins Above Replacement
“In God We Trust” ranks #51 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 94.4 — Elite. The episode packs 90 scored jokes at 3.8 per minute, averaging 7.6 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Michael · Gob: Mom can't pick me up. She could barely pick up that bag of protein bars. / Guess what? They weren't protein bars. They were gold Krugerrands.
Gob · Michael · Narrator: Mom must have clubbed you with a champagne bottle or something so she could drive. / Gob, how'd you figure it out? / It's funny you should ask that... / No. He didn't figure anything out.
Lindsay: That's all I ever wanted from you, Daddy. For you to spend money on me.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lindsay: Well, what about me? This is the third time I've come here. I haven't even been remotely harassed.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Michael: Mom, you've already got two strikes on your record. You strike one more person, and it's technically a spree.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement All Jokes — 90 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael · Lucille: Michael Bluth was fed up with his mother's extravagant spending. / 'Like it was yesterday.' / 'It was this morning.'
Lucille: To throw the most lavish party this town has ever seen for my birthday.
Lucille Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: I enjoy bicentennials as much as the next guy, Mom, but we're not doing that.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Buster · Narrator: Narrator describes Buster accidentally flirting, accidentally bidding $10,000 at a charity auction, and accidentally entering her apartment saying 'I need you right now. Fellas, take a powder.'
Lucille: Oh, here comes the 10:15 conniption, right on time. / Honest to God, Buster, it's like every little thing makes you seize up in terror lately. I have no idea where you get that from. Get away from that stove. You're going to light your hair on fire.
Lucille Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: He's weak. Speaking of weak, Mom, what do you got in there, gold bars?
Michael Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Lucille: Protein bars for your father. He's pumping up in prison.
Lucille Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Michael · Lucille: No more parties. Okay, Mom? / You're my third least-favorite child.
Michael: I can live with that.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Narrator: Michael came home to find his mother's fourth least-favorite child.
Narrator Callback Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: Well, they got the Asian right. 'Hotties' might be a stretch.
Gob Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Gob: Well, let's start with the little one.
Gob Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael · Narrator: I'm sure there'd be somebody else out there that would appreciate her. In fact, Michael felt that man was himself.
Gob · Michael: I wanna throw Mom a party. / Would you... I just told Mom no more parties. / I know, Michael. That's why this is the perfect opportunity to throw her a surprise party. She'd never suspect it.
Lindsay · Michael: Michael, do you have any idea what would happen if I were to visit prison? / Hmm. / It would be pandemonium. / Mm-hmm.
Lindsay · Michael: It'd just give Dad one more reason to think that I've got nothing to offer but my looks. / Yeah, I got some of that... except he also didn't like my looks.
Narrator · Lucille: Lucille had recently been featured on Fox's World's Worst Drivers.
Gob: She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. We ended up checking 'Albino' on the form.
Gob Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Gob · Michael · George Michael: She was having trouble even lifting up this bag of groceries. / All right. We will do the surprise party. / For Gangy? / Yeah, how did you know? / She called and invited us.
Michael: Come on. This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Narrator · Lindsay: Lindsay went to the prison to visit her father for the first time. But didn't get the reception she was expecting.
Lindsay · George Sr.: My whole life, all you've ever praised me for is my looks. / Oh, no. Your looks... / Yes, Dad. It's always been Michael's got the brains, Gob's got the charm, Buster's got the... / High-fastening pants. / Have you said that? / No. I'm saying that now.
Narrator · Lindsay: Lindsay was surprised once again that no heads were turned.
Lindsay: I'm gonna go shopping. I'll be back tomorrow.
Lindsay Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Narrator: George Michael was finally moving beyond his crush on Maeby and felt happy to have a cousin he could just see a movie with. It was a love between two cousins that the world thought was wrong. But it was the world that was wrong.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch George Michael · Maeby · Theater Employee: We have got to see this movie. / Excuse me, kids? Can I see your I.D.'s?
Narrator · Buster: Buster had recently brought the rock home from an archeological dig, but had yet to find a way to get it out of the car.
Michael: Mom, you've already got two strikes on your record. You strike one more person, and it's technically a spree.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Narrator · Lucille: Surprise! / And she was surprised... that her family didn't show up.
Gob · Lindsay: It's the first I've heard about it. / What about you? Neiman's? / Prison. Then Neiman's. But only because I'm going back to prison, and they've seen me in this.
Narrator · Buster · Lucille 2: You barely even leave Mom's apartment. In fact, Buster was worried about running into Lucille 2. So he never left his mother's apartment. Lucille 2 was also supposed to go, but was waiting until she saw Buster emerge.
Michael: I mean, it would've been funny if it wasn't so... Well, it was kind of funny.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential Gob: What frail act got you this time, Michael? She couldn't open a jar? What, did a clump of her hair come out in your hands?
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: You know, Mom, I'm sorry you're upset. But if you were nicer, then maybe your kids would take better care of you... or wanna be with you more.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Deadpan/Understatement Lucille · Michael · Gob: I've been a horrible mother. / No, Mom. You're great. You've been a great mother. / Well, you know she's been a horrible mother, right? / You don't have to tell me.
Gob · Michael: Um, is it okay if I do it for Mom and not you? / Yeah. / 'Cause I really like Mom. / We know.
Buster · Lucille 2: I've already got a Lucille in my life. / I understand. That's healthy.
Lucille 2 · Buster: Yes. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. / Am I needy? / No. / Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.
Buster · Lucille 2: You know, we're probably not that different, you and me. / You and I. Is it 'I' or is it 'me'? / Buster, it's us. / Yes. It is us. Us.
Buster · Lucille 2: [9-minute mark: Buster and Lucille 2 scene continues into a long, unresolved awkward pause before scene cuts]
Narrator · Michael · Lucille: Michael, once again, arrived at the restaurant. — Surprise! — And once again, no one showed up.
Michael · Lucille: Get up. I told you. They don't support me. / I hate to tell you, Mom, but they don't support me either.
Lucille · Michael: You did that for me? / I let you drive, didn't I?
Michael: It's an idiot on a scooter at night? It's gotta be Gob.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Lucille · Michael: Hey, big shot, too busy to go to your mother's party? / Mom, that is not Gob. Mom! Mom!
Michael · Lucille: Yeah. I guess. How's my mom? She's so frail. / I'm fine. I'm fine. I was thrown clear.
Doctor/Nurse · Michael: Your mother asked me to pump you full of... / Children's aspirin. / Okay.
Michael: 'Scoot'? Scooter. Was there a scooter involved?
Michael Physical/Slapstick Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Lucille · Michael: Oh, dear. I can't believe I did that. / I am so sorry. I'll get you some air. / I hardly felt it. In fact, actually, I didn't feel it.
Lucille 2: Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? It was a wild, wild ride.
Lucille 2: Is this something we can do? Is this something society will allow?
Lucille 2 Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Buster: My God, for the first time in years I felt like I was standing on solid ground. You know, my panic attacks have decreased. I feel confident. I'm feeling proud even.
Buster Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael · Lucille: You know, I should call George Michael. I'm worried about my son. / I'm worried about my son. George Michael will be fine with his aunt and uncle. / I want you resting, not using the phone. Let me take care of you.
Lucille: Scare. Did somebody say, 'Let's give him a sc...' What is the matter with me? Clumsy Clara.
Lucille Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Totally cool. Didn't feel a thing. You know, Mom, I'm crazy about this aspirin. I can't believe we give it to children.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Gob · George Michael: Michael? George Michael. / You've gotta go. / Wait. Uncle Gob, is this a bad time? / No. Are you kidding? So, what's up?
George Michael · Gob: I need you to make some fake I.D.'s for me and Maeby. / Like a passport? / Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.
Gob · Dock Woman: Look, I don't want you thinking that your uncle is some sleazy character from the docks. / Good morning. / How are you?
Gob: She's an Olympian... hopeful.
Gob Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Gob · George Michael: But we're gonna have to make this quick. Your dad wants me out of here by noon. / I wouldn't worry about him. He's staying at Gangy's. / Yeah, he got in a car accident on the way back from her birthday party. / Man, I told him not to let her drive. / No. It was him driving.
Gob · Narrator: So you're telling me that he can't go anywhere and he's incommunicado? / That's when Gob decided to take the yacht to South America for the summer.
Gob: I gotta alert this boat's crew. They'll be devastated.
Gob Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Buster · Dr. Miller: Dr. Miller? / Yeah. / I just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.
Buster · Dr. Miller: Oh. Well, women love to laugh. / It was worth it to be away from Mom's controlling grasp.
Michael · Buster: Buster, what's going on? What happened to your head? / Nothing. Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.
Michael · Lucille: Gob was there. Gob was on his scooter. I think I wanted to hit Gob. Yes. That is exactly what happened. You wanted to give Gob a scare.
George Sr.: That's it. I don't want... You can't... I don't... Please, you gotta stop coming here.
George Sr. Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Callback Lindsay: Well, what about me? This is the third time I've come here. I haven't even been remotely harassed.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Lindsay: Have I lost it? Did I ever even have it?
Lindsay Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort George Sr. · Lindsay: I'm paying thousands of dollars in Krugerrands. / What? / Gold. Krugerrands. / Your mother snuck 'em in here stuffed in energy bar wrappers to keep me from getting strangled in the shower or worse. / Stabbed? / In a way.
George Sr.: But you keep coming back here, honey, and I'm going broke.
Lindsay: That's all I ever wanted from you, Daddy. For you to spend money on me.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Prison Guard: No touching! [guard shouts as Lindsay and George Sr. have an emotional moment]
Michael · Gob: Gob, I want you to move back onto the yacht. / The yacht? What makes you think I'd want to now?
Gob · Michael: Wow. How hard did you hit that steering wheel? / I actually hit the back of my head.
Gob Michael Misdirection Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Crew Member: Turn this skiff around. / We haven't even left the dock. / But 'skiff' is appropriate, right?
Gob: There's no way you were trying to hurt me. You don't hate me. Mom hates me. You kind of like me.
Gob Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Gob: Yeah. I kind of like you. / Yeah.
Michael Gob Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Michael · Gob: Michael, I need your help. / Coming. / Ow! I got hit back there. / Right! On the back of the head, which means that you couldn't have hit the steering wheel.
Michael Gob Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Michael · Narrator: Mom must have clubbed you with a champagne bottle or something so she could drive. / Gob, how'd you figure it out? / It's funny you should ask that... / No. He didn't figure anything out.
Michael · Narrator: I probably got hit on the back of the head because of Buster's rock. Hey, big shot! Which was behind the passenger seat. Which means that she picked you up and dragged you over to the driver's seat.
Michael · Gob: Mom can't pick me up. She could barely pick up that bag of protein bars. / Guess what? They weren't protein bars. They were gold Krugerrands.
Gob: And Dad finally paid attention to my intellect.
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Gob: I was halfway to South America, but I couldn't let you get away with it, because we're brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.
Gob Callback Character Comedy Callback Lucille · Michael: You were going to South America? / I don't think so.
Michael · Lucille: I don't even remember you ever doing that before. / I just want my children to love me. / Stop lying. Stop manipulating. Just be nicer.
Lucille · Michael · Gob: I'm a horrible mother. / No, no, Mom. You're great. / That's crazy talk. / You're a fantastic mother. / I can't believe what I'm hearing, Mother. / Oh, we do. We really love you.
George Michael · Maeby · Theater Employee: George Michael and Maeby sneak back into Les Cousins Dangereux. / Excuse me. You're too young to be holding that ticket. / Let's go. / I can't go to jail. / Let's just watch cartoons.
Theater Employee · Elderly Man · George Michael: Sir, we will not be starting with Les Cousins... until you leave. / Excuse me, but I thought my A.A.R.P. card was good for one and a guest. / I knew society would never accept this. And they never will.
Narrator · Michael: Michael's insurance takes another hit. / Ow! / I was definitely driving that time.
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