As the Second of July parade approaches, Sally steps up her campaign against Lindsay while the Bluths again struggle to keep their stories straight.
Seventy-four jokes in 44 minutes: absurdist chaos outpaces character depth slightly.
Directed by Troy Miller · Written by Mitchell Hurwitz, Jim Vallely
WAR
70.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Premature Independence” ranks #70 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.5 — Elite. The episode packs 74 scored jokes at 1.7 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Tobias landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
George Michael: Well, I'm not proud of this, but we... we were wearing the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer wigs from the Imagine gift shop.
Tobias: Help! Please! It's a higher priority emergency! Help! Oh, bullshit you didn't redo these floors. They look amazing.
Tobias Escalation Character Comedy Buster · Guard: Is this because I accidentally choked Ron Howard? Because they already made me pay for that. They chopped your hand off? No, they just downgraded me to a manual.
Lucille: I did three years in prison because of Buster. - He can do a few weeks for me.
Lucille Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Callback Tobias · Lucille: Oh, my gosh. I do miss that wit, Mother. It's Mrs. Bluth. I wasn't joking.
All Jokes — 74 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Gob: You could go back and forth the whole parade.
Gob Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Gob: And breathe a word about this to anybody and you're fired.
Gob Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Lucille · Buster: Well, I'm not going to be the one who apologizes, if that's what you're waiting for. - Well, I'm sorry, but... - Apology accepted.
Buster: Did I exaggerate about her? She really is just like the mother in Two and a Half Men.
Buster Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Buster: There's no scary half-man that I couldn't handle.
Buster Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Buster: I touched a mouse. I read an illustrated Qur'an for kids, and at recess once, I sat in 'Blacks only.' Yard. Oh, I keep doing that.
Buster Escalation Character Comedy Buster: You'll need the warden's permission, and then you'll have to sponsor me for my furlough, and they probably won't let me on the float again, but that's just... Oh, God, it's still the parade, isn't it?
Buster Character Comedy Callback Buster: Well, it's either that, or I'm gonna start spewing it.
Buster Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Buster · Lucille: Half-man? Jon Cryer. Oh.
Maeby: Oh, where are my glasses? Oh, they're right on top of my head, for God's sake.
Maeby Character Comedy Visual Gag Maeby: And honestly, if I wanted a hairless lover, I'd probably go underage rather than overage, you know? What's that? No, I mean, not that I would do it on purpose.
Maeby Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Maeby · George Michael: What do you want me to do? You want me to shoot a kid? What kind of monster are you? I'm not sure how I became the monster there
Actor: I've always wanted to be a Keystone Cop. It would be my honor to wear this handlebar mustache in the 2nd of July parade.
Actor Absurdist Character Comedy Maeby: Good-bye to our teeth that make it look like I'm smiling so I don't have to.
Maeby Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Maeby: And you, I'll miss you most of all, neighbor's pain medication. I never even got the chance... Nah, I'll just take you with me.
Maeby Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback George Michael · Maeby: Who knows where we get these ideas from, right? Well, you. I got that from you. It's always from you.
George Sr.: Thanks to your mother, I can't even feel your son on my lap.
Maeby: Like how people think the world's melting because people drive cars, or that Hillary should continue to roam free.
Maeby Observational Character Comedy Maeby: Good-bye, Fox & Friends.
Sally Sitwell: I will be very surprised, though I may not look it.
Lucille: It's on the second this year.
Lucille · George Sr.: I don't want to tell you what I had to give the warden to make that happen. I don't want to hear it.
Tobias: I didn't want to get your hopes up, but I'm in Mexico and I have found Lindsay... to be very stubborn. Oh, damn it, I just did exactly what I said I wouldn't do.
Tobias Misdirection Character Comedy Lucille: Please tell me you prepared a few 'against her wills.'
Lucille Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Tobias · Lucille: Oh, my gosh. I do miss that wit, Mother. It's Mrs. Bluth. I wasn't joking.
Tobias: Murphybrown saw an armadillo, men held us up at gunpoint, and I got to dress up as an os...
Tobias Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Maeby: Nah, I love this place. I'll just tell him it's over, and kick him out.
Employer: I'll give you 500 bucks cash for this youngin' right now.
Employer Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive Tobias · Murphy: My son is not for sale. Thanks, Dad.
Tobias · DeBrie: Lindsay? - Tobias? - DeBrie? No, you were right the first time.
DeBrie: I've been pretending to be Lindsay the past few months, on account of Marky's face blind.
DeBrie Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback DeBrie: You should hear him: 'Oh, Lindsay, you've let yourself go.' 'Oh, Lindsay, why'd you stop showering?' 'You're missing some back teeth, there.' Yeah. Just like that.
DeBrie Character Comedy Escalation Sally Sitwell: What do you think of the new stair car? I had to make one, because yours disappeared.
Lucille: Well, you're no stranger to stuffing tissue places when you don't have the goods.
Sally Sitwell: Oh, hello. What do you think of the new stair car? I had to make one, because yours disappeared.
Sally Sitwell: The sun is nobody's friend.
Buster · Guard: Is this because I accidentally choked Ron Howard? Because they already made me pay for that. They chopped your hand off? No, they just downgraded me to a manual.
Buster: Are there dressing rooms for the talent?
Buster Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Sally Sitwell: Oh, well, at least Buster's being held. Which is more than he had as a child.
Tobias: ♪ At a parade? ♪ ♪ ...ade. ♪ ♪ Being watching the parade. ♪ No. With the curb huggers? No.
Tobias Character Comedy Absurdist Murphybrown · Tobias: Oh, yeah, 'cause he'd be, like, 'This is the one place where I'm not embarrassed of my dream.' Hey, no. Never apologize for your dream.
Tobias · Son: Who's Robbie? Oh. Yes, of course. You wouldn't know my brother.
Tobias: This is, uh, Relucto, the apprehensive clown.
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Gob · Michael: How would you like to help me in a double-closet sexuality switch two-hander float illusion, no credit, no money? Oh, and you turn gay. I'll pass.
Gob · Michael: No. Um, hey, how would you like to help me in a double-closet sexuality switch two-hander float illusion, no credit, no money? Oh, and you turn gay. - I'll pass.
Gob Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Gob: So you're saying nothing's worse than the sound of the dog screaming?
Gob Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Michael: So you're saying nothing's worse than the sound of the dog screaming? No, I just meant you're not a very good magician.
Gob Michael Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Buster: It's gonna involve you being put into a small, confined space, and you come out gay. If that's a swipe about me being in prison, I understand it.
Gob · Buster: It's gonna involve you being put into a small, confined space, and you come out gay. If that's a swipe about me being in prison, I understand it.
Gob Callback Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Lucille · DeBrie: Tobias, and if it isn't... what is it again? - LeTrasha? - Hello, again. Those last few teeth aren't going without a fight, are they?
Lucille · DeBrie: The only acting this one's good at is feigning interest in her drug dealer's hobbies. You do see a lot of aquariums.
DeBrie · Tobias: Oh, God, no. I can't do this. T-This is... No, no, no. ...why I gave this up. DeBRIE: Shy. - No. No, you can. - No. - No, no, no. Shy. - You can't be this critical.
Announcer: Let's all be perfectly still and see if we can hear them.
Announcer Absurdist Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: You haven't needed a tissue since Nixon resigned.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Lucille: I did three years in prison because of Buster. - He can do a few weeks for me.
Lucille Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Callback Lucille: He can do a few weeks for me.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Announcer: They will be neither seen nor heard next year.
Announcer Callback Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: This is gonna be less humiliating.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lottie Dottie · Michael: Oh, you must be Buster's brother. Hop in. I am Buster's brother. Yes. Oh, so how can I help you? And please make sure to wave.
Announcer · Spectator: Well, the magician seems to be just standing there, doing nothing. Ah... you get used to it.
Tony Wonder: Plus, there wasn't a fourth of May this year.
Gob: Oh, he's an attorney we were forced to use one year and he... I guess he likes them young.
Gob Dark/Subversive Callback Gob · Tony Wonder: No, it's, uh, tainting each other's brand, but same dif. Dif. Same. - Same dif.
George Sr.: And they said, 'No refundo.' And they speak English. They're-they're Mexican, but they are Romneys.
Crowd: She's a Muslim. She's disrespecting Muslims. She's a ghost. She's disrespecting ghosts.
George Michael: Well, I'm not proud of this, but we... we were wearing the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer wigs from the Imagine gift shop.
George Michael · Michael: Ron and Brian Go to Mexico. Was the name of the game?
Michael · George Michael: What were you playing... Ron and Brian? - Go to Mexico. - What's that? Ron and Brian Go to Mexico. Was the name of the game?
Michael: It's just not the only one. It's one of a bunch.
Tobias: Help! Please! It's a higher priority emergency! Help! Oh, bullshit you didn't redo these floors. They look amazing.
Tobias Escalation Character Comedy Tobias: Help! Please! We need a doctor! It's an emergency. Hi. It's us again. Help! Did you redo the floors here?
Tobias Character Comedy Misdirection DeBrie · Tobias: I'm under the impression that if you're carried in they put you immediately on the morphine drip? - That's what we've been told before.
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