Exit Strategy

Unbutton my shirt a bit and give him this look.

Not really sure what you're going for there.

If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night, it's because I almost did.

Well, I had to. It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened.

I think that's another one of Mom's little fibs. You know, like 'I'll sacrifice anything for my children.'

I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.

I assume it's a CBS procedural.

Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know.

For set dressing, silly.

Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.

Including me? Hmm? No. You don't have any secrets.

I was changing the subject. We-- no, yeah, we weren't talking about Maeby.

Actually, he'd already told her about it.

Would it kill her to let some vodka go bad?

Family forgets Maeby's age - she says 16th birthday, Tobias thinks 14th

Oh, no, vodka doesn't... You know, it's my birthday in a week and I bet you they don't even know.

Oh, my gosh. Our little girl's turning 14.

That is her suit. They probably don't make it in a woman's though. They only make it in a woman's.

You see, sometimes shame can be fun. Shame? Secrets. You said 'shame.'

Gob plans to go to Iraq for a 'USO tour' doing Christian magic

How does he know about her? Didn't he say that Gob should be ashamed of himself? No, but give it a little while, somebody will.

It's 'water into wine.' Then I emptied out all your wine bottles and filled them with fake stuff for nothing.

Great, how am I supposed to have sex with my husband now?

'A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties.'

Again, this is not an audition for a CBS show.

He took the bait. He's a classic scrapbooker. Right down to the woman's suit.

I've got to find a loophole to get out of this, but Buster took coma, and your mother took rehab.

Well, wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.

That's okay. Try again... No, that's a tendon. He'd be screaming right now. It's okay. try again.

That's okay, you put too much collagen in there. No, no, try it again.

Oops, you've got your forearm right on his windpipe there, Dogbone.

It really was amazing for their self-esteem. I did it.

Faker! She was wrong on that one. It was love that made Gary take that step.

Of course, he hadn't used his legs in three weeks.

But we do know that the two people who checked into Shady Pines under the names Lucille Bluth and Lindsay Funke are not your relatives.

'She's Out Of My Life.' As for your brother Gob in the USO... Don't tell me he's not in Iraq. Oh, no, he's there.

Cool your Japanese jets.

And imagine the impact if that had come on right when we turned on the TV.

I'm not faking it, Michael. I really am this expressionless.

No, I was just clearing my throat, but I think it actually does mean 'laundry' but like, a child's laundry. We don't really have a word for it.

Buster claims he speaks Arabic but just clears his throat: 'La-ach-ha-tem'

'My Favorite Birthday,' 'Foreign Bank Statements,' and of course, 'Shh! Family Secrets.'

...Oliver North but ironically not Martha Stewart.

Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken.

What the hell are we supposed to do for two days. I could take the top off this grape juice and maybe by morning...

Oh, Buster, you're such a ( bleep ). That means she likes you. Oh. It's more than like.

When I miss your lips, I'll put a fig in my mouth and think of you.

I don't think Steve Holt has to come to this. And yet he did invite Mickey Rourke.

So you ready for Operation Hot Brother?

The King of Queens. And now I would like to behold one of the late great Jesus' biggest illusions, The Burning Bush.

Burn Bush, burn Bush, burn Bush, burn Bush...

I'm sorry it took so long, but the Cheney Expressway was backed up all the way to Halliburton Drive.

Saddam look-alike: 'Take my picture! Take my picture!'

Yes, and we wanted to keep the house for just one more season.

Surprise. Yeah, that's what I figured.

They found out I was 16. And a lot of us just didn't want to drive down to Orange County.

Maeby and George Michael drink Gob's fake wine, thinking it's alcohol

My God, it makes me want to have an ice-cream cone. Doesn't this make you want to have an ice-cream cone?

Look, it's a Homefill. It's the company that makes the fake stuff we fill the model homes with.

'Cause Gangee once said to me, your mom might not have ever even been pregnant with you.

And perhaps it was the fake wine, but that was the night George Michael and Maeby went to second base.

We call them 'unintentional operations victims,' but yes.

I think he means to shoot you in the head. But please, at least let him look at the air-conditioning.

I think he means to shoot you in the head.

Buster: 'Looks like you are a hero, Buster.' 'We both are.' 'Well...'

And direct flights. None of this stopping in Phoenix bull ( bleep ).

Take Condoleezza Rice Lane. It's quicker. Mission accomplished.