Exit Strategy

Narrator:Title card reads 'It's... Attested Development'

Lindsay · Michael:Lindsay, when asked how to respond to deposition questions about financial impropriety, says she'll 'unbutton my shirt a bit and give him this look.'

Tobias:Tobias: 'If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night, it's because I almost did. That's why.'

Tobias · Michael · Narrator:Tobias explains finishing off the vodka: 'It goes bad once it's opened.' Michael: 'I think that's another one of Mom's little fibs. You know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children.'

Tobias:Tobias says he got a call to play 'a very important part in The Prosecution' and assumes it's a CBS procedural.

Tobias:Tobias: 'Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know.'

Tobias · Michael:Tobias says the prosecution 'asked for old photos and documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.'

Michael · Tobias:Michael: 'The prosecution is not a TV show.' Tobias: 'These guys will bend the law to enforce the law. Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.'

Tobias:Tobias: 'These Hollywood shows are so incredibly detailed.' / 'For set dressing, silly.' — re: why prosecutors want old documents

Michael · Tobias:Michael's non-response when Tobias asks 'Including me?' about the prosecution coming after the family, followed by Michael awkwardly pivoting to Maeby's birthday.

Narrator · Michael · Maeby:Narrator: 'Actually, he'd already told her about it.' — immediately after Michael says he's planning a 'surprise' party for Maeby.

Maeby:Maeby says 'Would it kill her to let some vodka go bad?' about Lucille, then catches herself: 'Oh, no, vodka doesn't...'

Maeby:Maeby: 'You know, it's my birthday in a week and I bet you they don't even know. They forget every year. I should just move out.'

Buster · Maeby:Buster tells Maeby about the surprise party immediately, saying 'They wouldn't forget your 16th birthday.'

George Sr. · Lucille:George Sr. reveals the family's ages: 'Our little girl's turning 14.' Lucille: '16, actually.' George: 'Well, I am off to buy the perfect present. Maybe she'd like a suit like this.' Lucille: 'That is her suit.'

George Sr. · Lucille:George Sr. on Maeby's suit: 'They probably don't make it in a woman's though.' Lucille: 'They only make it in a woman's.'

George Sr. · Lucille · Michael:George Sr.: 'Well, I'm off, my love. You see, sometimes shame can be fun.' — then instantly corrects to 'Secrets. / You said shame. / He said shame.'

Gob · Michael:Gob reveals he's going to Iraq for a USO tour doing a 'Christian magic act' — dressing as Jesus and walking on water.

Gob · Michael:Gob says 'I do the wine into water...' Michael corrects 'It's water into wine.' Gob: 'Then I emptied out all your wine bottles and filled them with fake stuff for nothing.'

Lindsay:Lindsay: 'Great, how am I supposed to have sex with my husband now?' — reacting to Gob emptying the wine bottles.

Gob · Michael:Gob: 'You're just jealous that I am the son that the father has asked to do his work in the Holy Land.' Then: 'And he won't bump me up to business class.'

Tobias · Wayne Jarvis:Tobias's 'audition' for the prosecutor: 'A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties.' Wayne Jarvis: 'Again, this is not an audition for a CBS show.' Tobias: 'I was just looking for some feedback.' Jarvis: 'It was a little contrived.'

Tobias:Tobias defends his family to Jarvis: people 'who wouldn't know good acting if it marched through the door and gave them headshots and decorative soaps.'

Narrator · Tobias:Narrator: 'He's a classic scrapbooker. Right down to the woman's suit.' — as Tobias takes the scrapbooking flier.

George Sr. · Michael · Lucille:George Sr. says Buster 'took coma' and Lucille 'took rehab' as legal excuses. Michael: 'You're going to rehab again?' George Sr.: 'I'm bringing Lindsay. I'm worried about her.' Lucille: 'Did you get the corkscrew?'

George Sr. · Lucille:George Sr.: 'So there's going to be wine at the rehab, huh?' Lucille: 'Well, wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.'

Michael:Michael: 'How do you come up with these?' — reacting to Lucille's wine-into-alcohol myth.

George Sr. · Michael:George Sr.: 'This constant bickering is going to put me in a coma!' Michael: 'Nice try, Dad.'

Buster · Narrator:Buster is serving as a 'live body' for medical students, a human canvas for beauticians, AND a set of teeth for at-risk youth dental trainees — all while 'in a coma.'

Narrator · Buster:Narrator: 'That's okay, you put too much collagen in there. No, no, try it again.' — describing beauticians practicing on the comatose Buster.

Narrator · Buster · Dogbone:Dental student named 'Dogbone' has his forearm on Buster's windpipe. Instructor: 'Oops, you've got your forearm right on his windpipe there, Dogbone.' Narrator: 'It really was amazing for their self-esteem.'

Buster · Adelaide · Narrator:Adelaide tells Buster: 'Take a single step to show me your love, Gary.' — then Buster, who has been on his back for weeks, actually tries to step and falls. Narrator: 'It was love that made Gary take that step. Of course, he hadn't used his legs in three weeks.'

Adelaide:Adelaide: 'Oh, whoever said vegetables were good for your heart.' — as Buster collapses trying to walk.

Wayne Jarvis · Michael:Wayne Jarvis reveals the two people who checked into Shady Pines under the names 'Lucille Bluth' and 'Lindsay Funke' are not Michael's relatives.

Wayne Jarvis · Michael:Jarvis: 'Also, for someone in a coma, your brother Buster has made an impressive 15 phone calls to radio stations alternately requesting I Will Survive and...' — 'She's Out of My Life.'

Michael · Wayne Jarvis:Michael and Jarvis try to watch Gob on the news. The segment keeps being delayed by ads for insulin delivery and other commercials. Michael: 'I'm sure it's coming right up.' / 'I'm sure it's right after this series of ads.' Jarvis: 'Why don't we just go online?' Michael: 'Cool your Japanese jets.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'And imagine the impact if that had come on right when we turned on the TV.' — after Gob's segment finally plays, way too late.

Buster:Buster: 'I'm not faking it, Michael. I really am this expressionless.'

Buster · Michael:Buster claims to speak Arabic. Michael: 'You speak Arabic?' Buster: 'La-ach-ha-tem.' Michael: 'What's that mean?' Buster: 'No, I was just clearing my throat, but I think it actually does mean laundry but like, a child's laundry. We don't really have a word for it.'

George Michael · Narrator:George Michael considers Maeby's address book and decides 'I don't think Steve Holt has to come to this.' — but does invite Mickey Rourke.

Narrator:Narrator: 'The scrapbooking sting had helped the D.A. gather evidence against people as diverse as Ken Lay... Oliver North, but ironically not Martha Stewart.'

D.A. Instructor:D.A. instructor: 'And remember, photocopies are not admissible as memories.'

Narrator · Tobias:The scrapbooking class turns out to be a D.A. sting — the pre-made template pages include 'Foreign Bank Statements' and 'Shh! Family Secrets' alongside 'My Favorite Birthday.'

Lindsay · Lucille:Lindsay and Lucille at the spa: 'Four saunas, three steam baths, Olympic sized pool and you're telling me there's no alcohol?' Lucille: 'What the hell are we supposed to do for two days.'

Lindsay · Lucille:Lindsay: 'I could take the top off this grape juice and maybe by morning...' Lucille: 'Oh, for God's sake, Lindsay, grow up. You're 40 years old.' Lindsay: 'Thirty-five.'

Lucille · Lindsay:Lucille: 'Well, maybe this will be nice. We can talk... and connect a little.' — then immediately: 'I must have a Xanax.' Lindsay: 'I'll go score some weed from the staff.'

Narrator · Adelaide:The taxi driver arrives and 'went into a coma as soon as they pulled up to the hospital.'

Buster:Buster: 'When I miss your lips, I'll put a fig in my mouth and think of you. They have figs over there, right?'

Narrator · Buster:Narrator describes arriving in Iraq, then: 'He said he's taking surface streets to LAX because the freeway's backed up all the way to Knott's Berry Farm.' — the cab driver is navigating Los Angeles while purportedly in Baghdad.

Buster · Narrator:Buster, instead of a cab, 'hired them the only rickshaw in Baghdad.'

Gob · Michael:Gob: 'So you ready for Operation Hot Brother?' Michael: 'I'm not ready to call it that.'

Narrator · American Instructor:The Iraqi prison guards are being trained by Americans — and they're practicing walking prisoners through a metal detector while forgetting to actually turn it on. 'The what? / The metal detector. / That's okay. Try again.'

Gob · Michael:Gob, found in prison, greets Michael with: 'Oh, I missed you, Michael! All right. Or should I say robot. What, 'cause I'm not crying? Maybe you don't have enough RAM to understand this, Michael, but there's such a thing as brotherly love.'

Gob · Iraqi Guard:Gob explains his act: 'And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings.' Guard: 'Queens.' Gob: 'The King of Queens.'

Gob · Narrator:Gob performs 'The Burning Bush' illusion — with the crowd chanting 'Burn Bush, burn Bush' — which gets mistaken for an anti-American political demonstration.

Instructor:During the 'Burn Bush' suppression scene, the 'That's okay, try again' motif appears again — now applied to soldiers trying to deploy crowd control.

Gob:Gob: 'Well, Dad... I mean, he had said if I happened to be in the neighborhood of Sadr City or Momoon, would I mind torching a couple model homes.'

Gob · Michael:Gob admits George Sr. asked him to 'torch a couple model homes' in Sadr City — 'Dad's just trying to keep information out of the hands of the Iraqis.' Michael: 'I have a feeling he was trying to keep it out of the hands of the federal marshals.'

Gob · Narrator:Gob: 'Oh shoot, I forgot to say good-bye to Yusef.' — then they're immediately released. Narrator: 'That was a lot easier than I expected. Almost too easy.'

Gob · Narrator:Gob: 'Oh, shoot, I forgot to say good-bye to Yusef.' / [They immediately walk out of prison] / Narrator: 'That was a lot easier than I expected. Almost too easy.'

Iraqi Cab Driver:Iraqi cab driver: 'I'm sorry it took so long, but the Cheney Expressway was backed up all the way to Halliburton Drive.'

Saddam Look-alike:The Saddam Hussein look-alike wants his photo taken constantly — 'Take my picture! Take my picture!'

Saddam Look-alike · Michael:The Saddam look-alike asks if Michael is there to 'fix the air-conditioning' — implying the Bluths are known in Iraq only as HVAC contractors.

Saddam Look-alikes:Multiple Saddam look-alikes debate the quality of each other's impressions. 'My Saddam would show his teeth.' / 'Yes, to chew the scenery.'

Saddam Look-alikes:One look-alike: 'Yes, and we wanted to keep the house for just one more season.' Another: 'I have a baby on the way.'

Saddam look-alikes:Look-alike: 'I do a better Saddam than this guy.' / Other look-alike: 'My Saddam would show his teeth.' / 'Yes, to chew the scenery.'

George Michael · Maeby:George Michael's 'surprise' party for Maeby has zero guests. Maeby: 'Yeah, that's what I figured.' George Michael: 'I really sorry they didn't come. I don't know what happened.' Maeby: 'I do. They found out I was 16. And a lot of us just didn't want to drive down to Orange County.'

Maeby:Maeby: 'This cost me my job, George Michael. I was a studio executive. I made movies.'

Maeby · George Michael:Maeby: 'You know what, I'm a kid. I'm going to start acting like one.' George Michael: 'What, you're going to drink?'

Narrator · George Michael · Maeby:Narrator: 'But they didn't know it was the fake wine from Gob's magic show.' — as George Michael and Maeby happily drink.

Michael · CIA Agent (Gob):Michael finds a nuclear warhead. CIA agent: 'Looks like a mid-range nuclear warhead. Has a range capacity of 4,000 to 5,000 nautical miles.' Michael: 'You've got a pretty sophisticated knowledge of this technology.' CIA agent: 'My God, it makes me want to have an ice-cream cone. Doesn't this make you want to have an ice-cream cone?'

CIA Agents:CIA agent: 'You'll have plenty of time for ice cream in prison.' Other agent: 'Ice cream sandwiches.' CIA agent: '...CIA undercover.'

CIA Agent · Gob:CIA agent explains they let Gob out of prison to follow him: 'Get in the cell, stupid.' / 'You... you're the one who didn't even shut the door.' — showing the 'escape' was staged.

Gob · CIA · Narrator:The CIA staged an 'honor marathon' to get Gob to run — showing Gob running through the prison yard. Narrator: 'They thought he was sure to take advantage of.'

CIA Agent · Michael:The WMD turns out to be a 'Homefill' — the same company that makes fake props for model homes. 'It's the company that makes the fake stuff we fill the model homes with.'

CIA Agent:CIA phone call: 'Did we bug a house in Mamoon? Yeah. We got some guy named George Bluth to build houses down there so we could wire them.'

Buster · Michael:Buster tells Michael: 'You might not even be related to us... 'Cause Gangee once said to me, your mom might not have ever even been pregnant with you.'

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'Okay, now you're just saying that to make me feel better.' / Michael: 'No, I'm... I wouldn't.' / Buster: 'Everyone still loves you. Some more than others.'

Michael · Buster:Michael: 'Okay, now you're just saying that to make me feel better.' Buster: 'No, I... I wouldn't.' — Michael treating 'you might not be our relative' as a comforting fib.

Narrator · George Michael · Maeby:Narrator: 'And perhaps it was the fake wine, but that was the night George Michael and Maeby went to second base.'

CIA Agent:CIA Agent: 'We call them "unintentional operations victims" but yes.' — re: George Sr. being a patsy

CIA Agent · Michael · Gob · Buster:CIA agent: 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you guys out.' Michael: 'Take us out? Where?' Gob: 'I could really go for some Italian.' Buster: 'There is an Olive Garden in Mamoon.' Michael: 'I think he means to shoot you in the head.'

Gob · Michael · CIA Agent:Gob: 'Well, don't be mad, but I have been sending the pictures from my cell phone to my friend.' CIA agent panics. Michael: 'Well, who knows who she sent them to?'

Buster · Michael:Buster: 'Looks like you are a hero, Buster.' — addressing himself. Michael: 'We both are.' Buster: 'Well...'

Gob · Michael:Their reward demand from the CIA: 'We're going to need some business class tickets home. And direct flights. None of this stopping in Phoenix bull[bleep].'

Narrator:Narrator: 'And so, with Operation Hot Brother a success...' — finally calling it by Gob's name.

Narrator:Narrator: 'And so, with Operation Hot Brother a success...'

Iraqi Cab Driver:Cab driver: 'Take Condoleezza Rice Lane. It's quicker.' Then: 'Mission accomplished.'

Tobias · Maeby:'On the Next Arrested Development' tag: Tobias gives Maeby a scrapbook with 'a picture of your mother pregnant' and 'a whole series of your head starting to crown.'

Tobias:'Look at you -- so full of wonder and shock. You still do it. And so does he! Boy, you guys really are related.' — as Tobias reacts to seeing the same expressions on Maeby and someone else.

Saddam Look-alike · Michael · Gob:'On the Next': Michael and Gob encounter the 'real Saddam.' 'You've got the wrong guy. The real Saddam has a scar on his head. I'm No Scar. Dot com.'

Tobias:'Boy, you guys really are related.' — Tobias's closing observation