The family plans their annual fund raiser, and they actually have a cause this time. Tobias is ailing due to his transplanted hair plugs, which appear to be rejecting him. Lindsay uses the illness as her ticket back into high society, and Michael learns of the prison warden's true intentions with his mother after reading the warden's screenplay.
Prison subplot hits 86 with 2.56 jokes per minute—peak Arrested chaos density.
Directed by Robert Berlinger · Written by Karey Dornetto
WAR
86.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Prison Break In” ranks #17 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.1 — Elite. The episode packs 71 scored jokes at 2.6 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Narrator: And then—and here's the really horrible part—they did it again the following year.
Buster · Oscar: At least you can stay and help me bury my poor turtle. / Or we could cremate it.
Narrator · George Sr.: His hobby was making papier-mâché copies of his own head.
Lucille: Oh, yeah, no, I get that. But have there ever been any fund-raisers?
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lucille: I want to cry so bad. But I don't think I can spare the moisture.
Lucille Character Comedy Dark/Subversive All Jokes — 71 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Lucille · Michael: What do you need? / Need? Why do you think I need something?
Lucille: Or should I say... 'play dates.'
Lucille Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator: Michael had been so devastated by their breakup that he'd even broken out the old guitar
Lucille: I don't know, does she play guitar?
Lucille Deadpan/Understatement Misdirection Buster · Michael: And how about that little piece of tail on her? / I've opened a door here that I regret.
Buster: She has a name, Mother. And it's 'Mother.'
Buster Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Buster · Narrator: Stay in this box that Uncle/Father Oscar left behind. In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana.
Lucille · Buster: Oh, good, you've already got grass. / Primo bud. Real sticky weed.
Various Bluths: TBA debacle flashback sequence
Lucille · Lindsay: Somebody saw Seinfeld last night. / Ovarian cancer. Gee, I wonder who that was.
Narrator: Much to their surprise, the Bluths ended up raising over $25,000 to fight 'TBA.'
Narrator: And then—and here's the really horrible part—they did it again the following year.
George Sr.: Keep fighting, little guy. With your support of the Bluth Foundation, we'll live in a galaxy where 'TBA' does not exist.
Narrator · George Sr.: His hobby was making papier-mâché copies of his own head.
Warden Gentles: I promised myself I wasn't going to become one of those people who were always going on about their screenplays.
Narrator: Warden Gentles had convinced his granddaughters' teacher to mount New Warden as a school play.
Children actors: Nobody sells any coke in this pen without daddy getting a taste. / Beat him with a pillow case full of batteries.
Lindsay: Oh, right. Uh, he spoke at my school for a 'Startled Straight' assembly.
Lindsay Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Lindsay · Warden: I think you will find the dessert both engrossing and high grossing. / So, we don't get dessert?
Lucille: G.V.H.: Graft Versus Host. It's new, it's fatal, and guess who's got it?
Lucille Dark/Subversive Setup/Punchline Doctor · Tobias: Either you remove your hair graft, or the host—you—will get sicker and eventually die.
Lucille · Doctor: Can you think of any benefits? / Benefits? No. He'll die.
Lucille: Oh, yeah, no, I get that. But have there ever been any fund-raisers?
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lucille: Did you see the attention Superman's wife got?
Lucille Observational Dark/Subversive Tobias · Gob: Oh! Oh! This is going hurt! / You know what? We're going to need this from another angle.
Michael · Lindsay · Michael: Who's the 'her' in that sentence? / Mom. Warden Gentles likes Mom. / 'Her?'
Gob: The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants.
Gob Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Tobias · George Michael: Oh, come on, don't leave your Uncle Teabag hanging. / Please don't call yourself that.
Narrator: What he was having trouble with was looking directly at his dying uncle.
Buster: Uncle/Father Oscar? What are you doing here?
Buster Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Oscar: I could never leave a little bud behind.
Oscar Wordplay/Pun Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Buster: Oh, yeah. My turtle was living in it before he ate all the grass and died.
Buster Dark/Subversive Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Buster · Oscar: At least you can stay and help me bury my poor turtle. / Or we could cremate it.
Guard · Michael: You can't park there! No stair car parking! / Sorry, I forgot.
Warden Gentles: I've had to go to his parole hearings twice, and lie through my teeth to keep him here.
Warden Gentles: I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries.
Michael · Lucille · Michael · Lucille: Who's the 'I' in that sentence? / Me. / You? / Her.
Michael · Lindsay: Plus, she's married, okay? She can't be writhing around underneath... What is wrong with you?! It's disgusting! God!
Narrator · Gob: But, thankfully, he'd found a way to forget that. / I've got a thing of pills in my pocket.
Maeby · George Michael: Listen, new fish, that bunk was open because the last guy wouldn't do the things that you're going to do. / We're going to do things?
Lindsay: Don't make the water too hot—the scabs come right off.
Lindsay Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive Buster · Oscar: Oh, it's on 'standby'! / Got another one in you?
Narrator: Although, it wasn't the first time he'd been knocked out by a powerful lid.
Narrator Callback Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Buster · Michael: Oh, then why do we care? / What is wrong with everyone?
George Sr.: Well... where the hell else are they gonna go at 4:00 in the afternoon?
George Sr.: Howdy doody, that's it.
Lindsay: She just called to ask me to bring her a tube of vag... ...table paste. Hi, George Michael.
Lindsay Cringe/Discomfort Misdirection Narrator: But this, too, would prove challenging, as the family had no books. Other than those.
Warden Gentles: Enjoy the chlamydia, Lucille. / Take this newly-diseased woman to the hole.
Michael: I wish I'd read The Man Inside Me.
Michael Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Michael: It's not a Jamba Juice, Michael. / Shouldn't be that hard to break into.
Buster · Oscar: Wait a minute. You're not really smiling. / I'm Oscar.
Gob: It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong?
Gob Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline Michael: Good. Now we know what the strap was for.
Michael Physical/Slapstick Reaction Beat Gob · Narrator: Drew a map of it on my stomach. It's upside down, so it might be a little awkward. / It was awkward.
Prison Guard: If you're gonna party, you want to bring it inside? That was a freebie.
Narrator: That would be the happiest moment George Michael would ever experience in his life.
Warden Gentles: I don't think there's going to be an 'I'm Oscar' website this time. I think this time I'll do a podcast.
Gob · Narrator: Sounds like a tennis match between Steffi Graf and Happy Days star Donny Host. / It's Most.
Gob: No, not that candy ball machine.
Gob Visual Gag Misdirection Gob: When Toby first came into the family, none of us much wanted him around. But that's because we couldn't see what was on the inside. But lately, that's all we've been able to see.
Gob Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun Tobias: No way. That horse hair is my ticket back into society.
Tobias Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Gala attendee: I'd rather give to T.B.A.! This is bull(bleep)!
Narrator: Just as the prisoners had proven they could throw a gala as well as the rich, so the rich proved they could throw a riot just as well as the prisoners.
Lucille: I want to cry so bad. But I don't think I can spare the moisture.
Lucille Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Michael · Lucille: You gave him chlamydia? / He had crabs, and I said, 'You're gonna get laughs.'
Warden Gentles: I can't say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia.
Michael: That I didn't need to hear.
Michael Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort George Sr. · Lucille · Michael: We ready to have some fun? I'm so glad I didn't cry. That I didn't need to hear.
Narrator: George Michael experiences his unhappiest moment ever.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: No! Not here! Wait. I've seen this before. Oh, God, I've seen this before!
Gob Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — Arrested Development
