The Ocean Walker

Michael · George Sr. · Lucille:Michael announces he's getting married; parents respond 'Who the hell to?' / 'Who do you think? Rita.' / 'Her?' / 'Why?'

Michael · George Sr.:Michael: 'She needs a green card to stay in the country.' George: 'There it is.' Michael: 'She needs a green card to stay in the country, BECAUSE, secondly...'

Rita:Rita's conversation about building houses: 'Instead of making houses, maybe you should make land. On the ocean.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'For Rita had only mentally progressed to the level of a first grader. Michael might have noticed her disability if it had not been masked by her English accent.'

George Sr. · Lucille:George Sr. confuses his mistress story: 'Just because a woman gets pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry her... some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an IUD.' Lucille: 'It was Stuckey's.' George: 'But I believed you.'

Lucille · George Sr.:Michael says they haven't slept together; Lucille says 'This is funny!' and George says 'He's gay!'

George Sr. · Lucille:George Sr. holds up his hook-less arm: 'Where's your hand?' / 'Oh. I'm having my high school ring put on it, and my hook is stuck in the staircar.'

Buster:Buster sings 'Domo arigato, Mister Roboto' while his hook-less arm is stuck in the staircar.

Rita:Rita: 'I like to keep the light on. That way I can see if you have a monster.'

Michael · George Sr.:Michael: 'Let's just all relax, and remind ourselves that we don't have any money.' George Sr.: 'She's already gotten our money!'

George Sr.:George Sr.: 'Oh, big deal, I had that same basic idea years ago.' — claiming credit for the ocean-top town idea.

Lucille · Narrator · Michael:Lucille: 'People just see what they want to see. If she loved you, she'd show it.' — Narrator: 'Michael was worried — his mother may have been making sense.'

Lucille · Michael · Narrator:Lucille: 'People just see what they want to see. If she loved you, she'd show it.' Narrator: 'Michael was worried — his mother may have been making sense.'

Tobias · Michael:Tobias in a wheelchair/dolly: 'No, no, no, it's a dolly to help videotape your nuptials.' Michael: 'I don't think I need any footage of my nuptials.'

Tobias:Tobias: 'Okay, so my legs and my left arm occasionally go to sleep, and you want to call it a health problem.'

Rita · Michael:Rita offers: 'Maybe you should see a bubuman.' Michael: 'A... bubuman?' Rita: 'Oh, uh, a doctor. It's a British expression. Like they say go-up box instead of elevator.'

Tobias · Narrator:Tobias: 'Oh, like when they say poofter to mean tourist, yes.' Narrator: 'Boy, that Rita's a smarty.'

Maeby · Rita:Maeby's screenplay dilemma: 'He's in L.A., she's in Japan. How do I get these two characters together?' Rita: 'Maybe they could walk.' Maeby: 'Across the ocean?' Rita: 'If it's not too deep.'

Maeby · Rita:Maeby: 'No, deep is good. People are going to say, What the hell just happened? I better say I like it. Cause nobody wants to seem stupid.' Rita: 'I like it.' The Ocean Walker.

Maeby:Maeby: 'Holy crap, that's going to look good on a hat.'

Gob · Michael:Gob immediately assumes Michael wants a magic show at the wedding, talks over Michael's attempt to clarify, and declares 'You want me to do a magic show at the wedding. I'm on it.'

Gob · Michael:Gob's magic show flashback: fire at previous wedding. 'Put her out! Put her out! Tracy! Thank God we already did the pictures.'

Gob:Gob: 'Which reminds me that Rita shouldn't wear any hair spray at this thing.'

Gob:Gob interprets 'Best Man' duty as: 'I am going to get you the single healthiest call girl that this town has ever seen.'

Michael · Gob:Michael: 'This is why I'm calling it a Witness, and not a Best Man.' / 'All you have to do is watch.' Gob: 'Oh, I'm not going to spend this kind of money and not watch.'

Lindsay · Rita:Lindsay and Rita are wearing their designer jackets inside out. 'Yeah, that way you see the label. Yeah, I mean, that's what you're paying for, right? It's a great statement on fashion.'

Rita:Rita: 'Plus, it doesn't tickle your neck.'

Michael · Lindsay:Michael asks Lindsay when she realized she and Tobias had no chance at a physical relationship. Lindsay: 'Oh my God, do you think we have no chance at a physical relationship?' Michael: 'Just now.'

Lindsay · Michael:Lindsay: 'Ask her to stay over at a hotel with you tonight. She's going to know what that means.' Michael: 'That is not a bad idea.' Lindsay: 'Don't... don't do that.'

Gob:Gob: 'King... takes his queen... and showers her with diamonds!' — then corrects to 'clubs' and 'club sauce.'

Gob:Gob: 'I'd hate to be blamed for setting another one of Michael's brides... on fire!'

Rita:Rita: 'Oh, lighter fluid — like Uncle Trevor uses! But wherever did it come from?'

Gob:Gob: 'I just need to find a trick that puts you out of oxygen for 20 minutes.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'Actually, her record was 20 seconds.'

Michael · Gob:Michael negotiating with Gob: 'Love for her to walk. And not to drown. Or fly through the air. Or catch on fire. Is she allergic to cat fur?' Gob: 'Oop — no tigers.'

Michael · Rita:Michael suggests to Rita that they go to a hotel for 'some alone time.' Rita: 'Maybe our rooms could touch.'

Michael · Rita:Rita and Michael negotiating 'sleepover': 'I was thinking maybe we could be in the same room.' / 'Be in the same bed.' / 'Oh I see what you mean, a real sleepover.'

Rita · Michael:Rita: 'Well, maybe I should go home and get my things. I do kind of miss my jammies.' Michael: 'I think they're going to have a lot of that stuff there.' Rita: 'And my tiny teddy.' Michael: 'Good. Yes, get that.'

George Michael · Rita:George Michael driving Rita, who asks to listen to 'young people's music': they end up on 'Hot Potato' (a Wiggles-style children's song). George Michael's growing concern.

Trevor · Rita:Trevor to Rita: 'Do you have any idea what a sleepover is? Cause it's not just sleep.' Rita: 'I know what it is, Trevor, I've seen your secret magazine.'

Rita · Trevor:Rita: 'I want to have grown-up fun. Spoon and figgy pudding. Rabbit downdum druggary's hollow. And I want to have pop-pop.' Trevor: 'Well, the very fact that you call it that, tells me you're not ready.'

Trevor:Trevor: 'And for your information, that's a cricket magazine.' — revealing the 'secret magazine' was about cricket all along.

Trevor:Trevor: 'I mean, it's not your fault your parents were cousins, but... here we are.'

Rita · Trevor:Rita: 'Well, Michael will be my cousin soon enough, cause we're getting married.' Trevor and others: 'Married?! Married!' with escalating chaos.

Trevor · Rita:Trevor miming 'invisible locks' on the door: 'Lock. Lock. Lock.' while Rita protests 'That's not fair!'

Trevor:Trevor: 'I've got to find a new hiding place for that magazine.'

Michael · George Sr. · Narrator:Michael calls his father from the hotel — awkwardly claims Rita is 'in the shower.' George Sr.: 'I'll wait.' Narrator: 'Let's wait.'

George Sr.:George Sr., watching TV from hotel arrest: 'Wow, that Blossom blew up, huh?'

Narrator · Michael:Narrator: 'And that local calls were $2.95 a minute.' Michael: 'Come on!' Narrator: 'That's where they get you.'

Rita · Michael:Rita: 'Trevor locked the door. He doesn't want me to be with you.' Michael: 'What, he locked the door? You can't unlock this door?' Rita: 'I can't even see half the locks! They're invisible. Trevor's the only one who can see them.'

Michael · Rita · Narrator:Michael and Rita escape on... something. Rita cheering 'Yay! Michael! Yay!' as they flee. Then they hit something: 'I hate that (bleep) doll.'

Michael:Michael's grand romantic speech: 'Nothing can stop us now. Nothing in the world of man nor beast, nor time is...' — interrupted by the staircar.

George Sr.:George Sr., seeing Rita's uncle Trevor arrive: 'Let the hand-outs begin!'

Trevor · George Sr. · Lucille:Trevor reveals Rita is mentally challenged AND owns all of Wee Britain. George Sr. and Lucille: 'Millions?' / 'Mentally challenged?' Lucille: 'Shh! It's not polite.'

Trevor:Trevor: 'Yes, it's funny how Americans don't pick up on that. I think it's cause of her accent and the plastic surgery she's been able to afford.'

Lucille · George Sr. · Trevor:Lucille: 'Oh, Legoland.' George Sr.: 'I think they said they were going to Legoland.' Lucille: 'They did say Legoland.' Trevor: 'I didn't hear anything about Legoland.' Lucille/George Sr.: 'He doesn't know what's talking about. We think he may be mentally challenged.'

Lucille · Trevor:Lucille to Trevor: 'We have got 24 hours to get them married before Michael figures out what she really is.' Trevor: 'This is the first time in two years you've sounded like George Bluth.'

Rita · Michael:Rita: 'I want to have sexual relations.' Michael: 'Mere fact that you call it that tells me that you are ready.'

Michael · George Michael:George Michael appears at the hotel room door unexpectedly. Michael says: 'Um, go ahead and... talk out here.' — massive understatement.

George Michael · Michael:George Michael arrives having spent the day with Rita: 'We just got back from the bumpaddle courts. Tomorrow, I'm teaching her baseball.' Michael: 'Yeah. That may take a while.'

George Michael · Michael · Rita:George Michael's videotape of Rita playing with the plastic fruit bowl — eating a plastic banana, going back for the grapes. Michael and George Michael watching in silent mortification.

Michael · George Michael:Michael to George Michael about the plastic fruit: 'It's the plastic fruit, Dad.' Michael: 'It's very convincing fruit, okay?'

Michael:Michael: 'Well, you know, they don't even have bananas in England, okay, son?'

George Michael · Michael:George Michael: 'I think she might be... retar... retarded.' Michael: 'I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.'

Rita · Michael:Rita appears with a small stuffed bear: 'Say hello to my tiny teddy.' Michael (horrified): 'Oh! Tiny Teddy!'

Narrator · Michael · Rita:Narrator: 'And that's when it dawned on Michael.' — then plays back: 'Oh, you teach kids, huh?' / 'Oh, I like to think they teach me.' / 'That way I can see if you have a monster.' / 'Be careful.'

Michael:Michael: 'I've made a huge mistake.'

Michael · Rita · Narrator:Michael 'tests' Rita: 'How many houses are there in the British Parliament?' Rita: 'Seven.' Michael: 'Are there?' Narrator: 'The answer is three.' Michael: 'Does sound about right.' Rita: 'Three is the correct answer.'

Michael · Rita:Michael uses celibacy as an excuse: 'I think that we should wait until after we're married.' Rita: 'Married! Married, married, married!'

Narrator · Michael:Narrator: 'And Michael felt he deserved a $15 thing of candy beans.'

George Sr. · Lucille · Larry:The Bluth parents throw Michael a surprise wedding — 'On us. Everything you see.' 'Show them the waffle bar, Larry.'

Rita:Rita: 'I want to get married and have sexual relations like you promised.'

George Sr. · Lucille · Michael:George Sr.: 'Where did you get this firecracker? I love her, Michael.' Lucille: 'So do I. I want to kiss my new daughter-in-law.' — Then pushes to kiss Rita on the lips. Michael: 'No, no, Dad, please take it easy.'

Lindsay:Lindsay: 'I'll help you put it on inside out!' — offering to help Rita with her wedding dress the wrong way.

Lucille · Michael:Lucille: 'The rest will just be little happy surprises along the way. Like you said.' Michael: 'Yeah. With the exception of the retard thing.'

Michael · Lucille:Michael: 'She's rich.' / Lucille: 'This is a new low, even for you, Mom.'

Lucille:Michael: 'I'm crazy about the little dullard.' — Lucille's explanation for supporting the marriage.

Michael · Lucille · Larry:Michael: 'Larry go to a mirror!' — followed by rapid firing: 'You're fired.' / 'You're fired.' / 'What?!' / 'It's over.'

Michael · Lucille:Michael fires the wedding staff mid-ceremony: 'You're fired.' / Lucille immediately echoes: 'You're fired.'

Michael · Wedding Coordinator:Michael and wedding coordinator: 'And this is how you tell me, in the middle of a wedding?' / 'You shouldn't have said anything.'

George Michael:George Michael's cousin-marriage speech: 'In some states, it's legal to marry your own cousin. California's blocked it twice, but that's only because they tacked it onto an estate law thing that wasn't gonna pass. We had the signatures...'

Michael:Michael: 'There wouldn't be any real intimacy, and it would be the strongest marriage in the family.'

Michael · George Sr. · Lindsay:Lindsay runs out at the reveal, wearing an inside-out bridesmaid's dress. Michael: 'You better catch her, Dad.' George Sr.: 'That's not gonna be easy. She's an Olympic Silver.'

George Sr.:George Sr.: 'Just figured that one out.' — about Rita being an Olympic Silver.

Maeby:Maeby: 'Okay. Well, I'll have to go stop production on The Ocean Walker.'

Rita · Michael:Rita to Michael: 'I didn't know until they told me.' Michael: 'No, I'm just a narcissist who was too self-involved to see the truth.' Rita: 'That makes no sense to me.' Michael: 'Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself.'

Michael · Rita:Rita: 'And you deserve to find somebody a lot more like you.' Michael: 'I don't think that either of us would be happy.'

Michael · Rita:Michael: 'You're gonna be across an ocean.' Rita: 'Well, you can always walk.' Michael: 'Not on the water.' Rita: 'Oh, Michael, you're such a grown-up.'

Rita · Michael · Gob:Rita appears to walk on water — or at least, it looks like she does. Michael and Gob watch.

Gob · Michael:Gob: 'Hang on a sec. That's part of your trick, right?' Michael: 'No.' Gob: 'That's not my trick, Michael.'

Gob:On the Next Arrested Development: Gob's illusion at the wedding — 'Why am I not going under water? Dear God, why am I not going under water?'