Rita Leeds

Rita:Then I shall let you live.

Rita:Well, lucky for you, my whole face is British.

Rita · Michael:I like to think they teach me. - Like what? How to eat crayons, throw tantrums... - Oh, no. Not when I'm there. I'm very good.

Michael · Rita:our paths shan't cross again. As you like it.

Rita · Narrator:I wouldn't. I'll make you blue. Rita was just talking about the finger paint... but Michael didn't know that.

Rita:I've been having such fun on this space shuttle.

Michael · Rita:I guess this is what the British think of Americans. / They like our food. / Whatever do you mean?

Rita:I was in the Olympics once. I won a silver medal.

Rita:You're such (bleep).

Rita · Narrator:You're a complete and utter... (bleep) I can't believe we had to bleep that. It would have been such a nice moment.

Rita:I hate it when they hire Yanks to play Brits. You can always tell.

Rita:I won't tattle.

Rita · Narrator:- Whee! - And Rita was falling for Michael too. But that wasn't part of the plan.

Rita:I'm a woman too! Not some robot you get to tell everything to.

Rita:'You do the math, Rita.' Well, no, you do the math.

Rita:I'm a big girl.

Rita:Oh! Me!@%s are wet.

Rita · Michael:- What's that? - A prize. A lovely, lovely prize.

Narrator · Rita · Michael:She was special. / Are houses terribly hard to make? / Actually, the hardest part is finding the land. / But she wasn't smart. / Instead of making houses, maybe you should make land.

Narrator · Rita · Michael:For Rita had only mentally progressed to the level of a first grader. / There's no land on the ocean. / You're brilliant.

Michael · Rita:And I like to keep the light on. / That way I can see if you have a monster. / Night-night. / Can you shut the door on your way out?

Rita · Tobias:Maybe you should see a bubuman. / A... 'bubuman'? / Oh, uh, a doctor. It's a British expression. Like they say 'go-up box' instead of 'elevator.'

Rita · Maeby:Maybe they could walk. / Across the ocean? / If it's not too deep.

Rita · Maeby:The Ocean Walker. / Holy crap, that's going to look good on a hat.

Michael · Lindsay · Rita:You guys have these jackets on inside out? / Yeah, that way you see the label. / Yeah, I mean, that's what you're paying for, right? It's a great statement on fashion. / Plus, it doesn't tickle your neck.

Gob · Rita:King... takes his queen... and showers her with diamonds! / Clubs. / Club sauce. / He covers her with club sauce.

Rita:Oh, lighter fluid--like Uncle Trevor uses! / But wherever did it come from?

Gob · Rita · Narrator:How long can you hold your breath? / Oh, long. One time, 20 minutes. / Actually, her record was 20 seconds.

Michael · Rita:Well, I-I-I was hoping maybe for more than just our rooms to touch. / I was... thinking maybe we could be... in the same room. / Be in the same bed. / Oh, I see what you mean, a real sleepover.

Rita · Michael:And my tiny teddy. / Good. Yes, get that.

Rita · George Michael:Hot potato, hot potato... / Hot po-ta-to... Hot 'potat-o'...

Rita:I know what it is, Trevor, I've seen your secret magazine. / Spoon and figgy pudding. / Rabbit downdum druggary's hollow. / And I want to have pop-pop.

Rita · Trevor:Well, Michael will be my cousin soon enough, cause we're getting married. / Married?! / Married! / Totally out of the question! / Married! Married! Married!

Trevor · Rita:I'm putting the invisible locks on the door. / That's not fair. / Lock. Lock. Lock. / That's not fair! / It's just not fair! / Lock. Lock.

Michael · Rita:You can't unlock this door? / I can't even see half the locks! / They're invisible. / Trevor's the only one who can see them. / I'm trapped!

Rita · Michael:Say hello to my tiny teddy. / Oh! Tiny Teddy!

Michael · Rita:Oh, you teach kids, huh? / Oh, I like to think they teach me. / That way I can see if you have a monster. / Be careful.

Michael · Rita:For instance, you've never told me how many houses there are in the British Parliament. / Seven. / Are there? / The answer is three. / Does sound about right. / Three is the correct answer.

Rita · Michael:Rita corny, Michael. / You know, I think that we should wait until after we're married. / Married! / Married, married, married!

Rita · George Sr. · Michael:I want to get married and have sexual relations like you promised. / Where did you get this firecracker? / I... love her, Michael.

Rita · Michael:Maybe you're not smart, either. / I didn't know until they told me. / No, I'm just a narcissist who was too self-involved to see the truth.

Michael · Rita:That's gonna be difficult, Rita. You're gonna be across an ocean. / Well, you can always walk. / Not on the water. / Oh, Michael, you're such a grown-up.