Investigating his father's claim that a British group set him up, Michael goes to "Wee Britain" and is smitten with a beautiful woman named Rita. Lindsay attempts to seduce the new family attorney, and Gob goes to extremes to avoid his newly discovered son.
British spy parody sustains 2.27 jokes per minute across 61 gags with minimal setup lag.
Directed by John Fortenberry · Written by Richard Day, Mitchell Hurwitz
WAR
64.4
Wins Above Replacement
“For British Eyes Only” ranks #37 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.1 — Elite. The episode packs 61 scored jokes at 2.3 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No. It's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.
Gob Character Comedy Absurdist Michael: Lot of that was the coma.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Narrator: But if they ever had a child, it would be... because the girl was his cousin Maeby.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Buster · Michael: I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. You certainly have a type.
Michael: Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?
Michael Running Gag Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 61 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ George Michael: I don't even have a girl, much less a stupid one.
Narrator: But if they ever had a child, it would be... because the girl was his cousin Maeby.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch George Sr.: in the twilight of her face
George Sr.: Oh, dear God. Send me back to prison.
Buster: As soon as Father came back, I've been like the Invisible Man. 'Hello! Can anyone see me?'
Buster Character Comedy Absurdist Buster · Michael: I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. You certainly have a type.
Lucille: Oh, it's in the dishwasher. Your father and I were using it for something.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Lucille: My friskiness. Mama horny, Michael.
Lucille Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael: Why do I eat breakfast before I come here?
Michael Reaction Beat Character Comedy Gob Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Tobias: Excuse me. I was just looking for a marker... A Magic Marker.
Tobias Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Lucille: That's where she keeps things she has no need for.
Lucille Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Tobias: I so very much would like to be in your 'prostate-icular'
Tobias Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Tobias: Guess I shouldn't have used a permanent marker.
Tobias Visual Gag Character Comedy Callback Lindsay: I mean, what are we, Amish?
Lindsay Character Comedy Observational Michael: Lot of that was the coma.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Lindsay: Yeah. I've heard your side of it.
Lindsay Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement George Sr.: There you just had to shut your eyes and take it. Here you have to shut your eyes and give it.
George Sr. · Michael: Andy Griffith. What, you never saw Matlock? Not a real attorney, Dad.
George Sr.: For $20,000, he'll twice... lean forward and whisper something in your ear. Oh. White suit... That's extra.
George Sr.: I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi.
Michael: Not in every case.
Michael Visual Gag Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch George Sr.: Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay... but they will rip out your heart
Michael: Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?
Michael Running Gag Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Michael · Lindsay: It's more like a Lincoln. Oh, come on!
Michael: There's no satellite radio, but there's a banjo in the closet. And watch out for live-ins.
Michael Character Comedy Escalation Callback British driver: Lanes reverse! You're driving on the wrong side, you bloomin' idiot!
Clerk: They're for British eyes only.
Clerk Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Clerk: Perhaps if you're willing to lose 20 pounds.
Clerk Character Comedy Observational Lionel · Mum: What's the soup of the day, Mum? Bread.
Narrator: Not her. Wait for it.
Michael: Not... Not for sex. You're gonna think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right?
Rita: Then I shall let you live.
Rita Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: This is my worst hello. Let me try again.
Rita: Well, lucky for you, my whole face is British.
Rita Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Callback Clerk: Oh, yes... GMT. Everything here is on Greenwich mean time.
Clerk Absurdist Observational Rita · Michael: I like to think they teach me. - Like what? How to eat crayons, throw tantrums... - Oh, no. Not when I'm there. I'm very good.
Michael: It's turning into one of my worst good-byes.
Michael Character Comedy Callback Callback Michael · Rita: our paths shan't cross again. As you like it.
Shop owner · Tobias: Are you gonna buy this time, or you just curious? I suppose I'm, uh, buy-curious.
Michael: That's a pretty good chicken.
Michael Running Gag Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback British thug: Now, back off, you !@%$# ponce!
Michael: Dad was not kidding about their breath.
Michael Callback Observational Callback Gob: I'm thinking about calling it 'Free...' I don't know. 'Chicken.'
Gob Absurdist Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No. It's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.
Gob Character Comedy Absurdist Michael · Tobias: That's a woman's wig. - I was told it was a bob.
Tobias: That's a woman's wig. I was told it was a bob.
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Michael: It's a wonderful performance. You're a regular Brad Garrett.
Michael Observational Character Comedy Michael · George Sr.: That could be Buster. - Could be Gob.
Rita · Narrator: I wouldn't. I'll make you blue. Rita was just talking about the finger paint... but Michael didn't know that.
Narrator: But instead he just sat in his car... and ate a whole thing of candy beans.
George Sr.: Where every day it rains... pennies from heaven!
Tobias: Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading-man parts in my mouth.
News anchor: An unlicensed Mary Poppins takes down another tourist. Is this the work of the Itsy Bitsy IRA?
Michael: A lot of people are probably here for the free chicken.
Michael Running Gag Observational ★ Rewatch Callback Steve Holt · Gob: Is that a chicken? Oh, my God. Dad, are you all right? I fooled his own son. I am a leading man.
Steve Holt Gob Running Gag Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Tobias: I am a leading man.
Tobias Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lucille: Keeps him out of the kitchen.
Lucille Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Harry Hamlin: They don't have a !@%$# prayer. Send the check to my accountant.
George Sr.: Wow. She is way out of his league.
Narrator: For you see, Rita had a secret of her own.
Narrator Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — Arrested Development
