George, Sr. hires a new attorney who asks the Bluths to participate in a mock trial to help prepare them for the real thing. The attorney gets actor Judge Reinhold to preside over the mock case. Meanwhile, Buster fakes a coma to get out of testifying, and George Michael and Maeby participate in a mock wedding to entertain hospital patients. Back at the office, Michael discovers that he may have a long-lost sister named Nellie Bluth.
Season 3's densest episode: 69 jokes in 28 minutes, anchored by escalating character absurdity.
Directed by Lev L. Spiro · Written by Chuck Tatham, Dean Lorey
WAR
84.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Fakin It” ranks #11 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.5 — Elite. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 2.4 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Narrator: For, as it turns out, the fake priest was called to a patient's room, and Father Ben filled in, not knowing it was fake.
Lindsay: Never let me die.
Lindsay Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael · Narrator: I have an older sister? / So much for not abandoning family.
Michael: Nichael Bluth? Am I N. Bluth? Is he trying to set me up? If I'm N. Bluth, I'm going to prison.
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Lindsay · Buster: Well, just fake it! / Coma.
All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: Well, they've got one guy who won't be talking. That is, unless there's a hand inside of him.
George Sr.: Oh, please, Michael. Even then, I wouldn't say anything.
Gob: He is re-dyed, rested and ready to work.
Gob Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael: I think he meant 'get Franklin'.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Gob · Franklin · Gob: Franklin, guess what? / But I don't know anything. / He certainly hasn't heard anything from me.
Lucille: Your father says he wants me to go all the way to Fallujah. I thought he meant the sex act that's so popular with your generation.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lucille: I know you're awake. Faker!
Lucille Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Gob · Michael: Whoa. I did not say that. / You did, Gob. Your mouth moved. Your hand didn't.
Michael · George Sr. · Lucille: Yet you refer to her as a she. / He, she, what's the difference? / Hear, hear. In the dark it all looks the same.
Lucille · Lucille · Lucille: Not another media whore. / Like to see a whore that does that! / Not the carrying the weight part, but, on the other hand, if it's free.
Lucille: You know, Michael, just because you played a role, doesn't make it real. Of course, Buster did grow up to be Captain Hook.
Lucille Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Buster Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Jan Eagleman · Michael: I'm doing a tech rehearsal for my new show, Judge Reinhold. It's a reality courtroom show. / You know that there's an actor by that name, right?
Jan Eagleman: This is what they put me in. Why did I lose all the weight if they're gonna put me in pool cover?
Jan Eagleman: I read somewhere Judge Judy made $25 million last year. And I'm like, 'Hey, I never even heard of the guy.'
Michael · Jan Eagleman: So, you're doing this because your name is Judge? / Honestly, this is the first time I put those two things together.
Magazine ad: My name is Judge.
Michael: I'll show him. I'll make a fool out of him.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Lucille: I just pray it's one of those things where he's unconscious throughout the entire trial, and when it's over, he wakes up and gets a big toy.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Michael: Wait a minute. Are you responsible for this, Mom? Did you put one of your sons into a coma so that he can't testify?
Lucille: Michael, how dare you? Of course it crossed my mind, but this was all Buster.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Brian · Lindsay · Brian: Hope you don't mind me saying, but these things can go on indefinitely. My mother's been in that bed for two years. / How awful. / We don't have a private room.
Michael: Looks a little bit more like Red Prawn, Dad.
George Sr.: That's the same representation Captain Hook had.
George Sr. · Lucille · George Sr. · Lucille: It's so good to laugh again. / Feels good. / It does. / They say seven minutes heals all wounds.
George Sr. · Magazine ad: Wait, not the Judge Reinhold show from all those magazine ads? They're all over the place. Look at this. / My name is Judge.
Gob · Gob: I could use this in my ventriloquism act. / They have a bar here?
Gob Gob Character Comedy Misdirection Doctor: Well, Buster's in what we call a light-to-no-coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.
Doctor Deadpan/Understatement Wordplay/Pun Lucille Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimp Fest.
Michael Character Comedy Observational George Michael · Nurse · George Michael · Nurse: Would I have to touch the old people? / Only their hearts. You could be a groom. / I don't have a girlfriend. / Sister, then. Or a cousin.
Nurse · Narrator · George Michael: Of course, you're gonna have to kiss. / Guess who liked that idea? / He says he doesn't want to do it.
George Michael: I mean, the girl I would want to give, and she'll want to give, too. And we'll do that together. It's for them, for the sake of... I just... It's a great day... For being sad.
Lindsay: I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better, 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth.
Lindsay: Never let me die.
Lindsay Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Magazine ad · Gob · Magazine ad · Gob · Magazine ad · Gob · Magazine ad · Gob · Magazine ad · Gob: My name is Judge. / Whose name is Judge? / My name is. / Okay. / That's a silly name. / Judge my name. / Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly. / Is. / Please stop. / Now you're correcting my grammar?
Magazine ad · Gob: Judge. / He's right, his name is Judge now.
Michael: Nichael Bluth? Am I N. Bluth? Is he trying to set me up? If I'm N. Bluth, I'm going to prison.
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Narrator: Nichael was worried.
Narrator Wordplay/Pun Meta/Self-Referential Michael · Magazine ad · Michael: Well, I guess your dad must've had these from way back when, huh? / My name is... / That seems kind of current.
Narrator: And so, like many people who no longer felt anything for each other, they decided to get married.
George Sr.: Close to Christmas. Was that hard?
George Sr. · Michael · George Sr.: For God's sake, it's a typo, Michael. What kind of father do you think I am? / That is my birthday. / Close to Christmas. Was that hard?
George Sr.: Why can't you be like Buster? He put himself in a coma to protect this family, poor kid.
Michael · George Sr.: Shrimp Fest is over, Pop. / Really? Better go to Chili's.
Father Ben · Father Ben · Lindsay: Show me your sign. / No, the other side. / Tobias, Brian and I believe in the dignity of every human being. Now, why don't we leave the fruits with the vegetables, and go get a coffee?
Father Ben: Now, why don't we leave the fruits with the vegetables, and go get a coffee?
Maeby · George Michael · Maeby: I can't do this. I can't do this. / But we're not... / What am I doing?
George Michael: Now it's a bar mitzvah.
Narrator: Now it's a bar mitzvah.
Gob · medical tape: Patient presented with gastric bacterial infection coupled with peptic ulcers. Tetracycline should not be administered due to allergies.
Gob: Wow. Sounds like you could use some tricycling.
Gob Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Gob · Michael: You were gonna say 'mockery,' weren't you? / I was in trouble, like, three words into that.
Wayne: Read the Patriot Act. Anything said in a mock trial or daytime courtroom show can be used in any real criminal proceeding or primetime procedural show, subject to the interpretation of the presiding judge or the executive producer.
Wayne Absurdist Observational Wayne · Michael · Wayne · Michael: In our case, Judge Reinhold is both. / Did he get E.P? / Sure did. / Good for him.
Lindsay · Brian: I'm trying to get on with my life. / Yeah, so is what remains of Buster.
Lindsay · Buster: Well, just fake it! / Coma.
Judge Reinhold: Wow, thank you. That's the first time I ever got a standing ovation before the show.
Someone · Someone · Judge Reinhold: They're not clapping. / They don't in a courtroom. / Please be seated.
Tobias: Well, I spend so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts
Tobias Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Lucille: And if this were the real trial, I'd cry here. I'm saving my good stuff, too.
Lucille Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Franklin/Magazine · Jan Eagleman · Michael: My name is Judge. / What kind of name is that, magazine? / I'm just gonna go ahead and jump in right here. I have nothing for him.
Judge Reinhold: Well, it looks like we've got a mistrial. But on the plus side, we've also got a hung jury.
Judge Reinhold · Michael · Judge Reinhold · Narrator: But it's just a mock trial. Why didn't you just take it to the grand jury? / Wanted to prove to you that I could do it. / I'm going to a grand jury with that now. / Actually, Michael had no idea that's what he was supposed to do.
Narrator · Father Ben · Narrator: For, as it turns out, the fake priest was called to a patient's room, and Father Ben filled in, not knowing it was fake. / Congratulations. / And that's how the kids got married.
Narrator: For, as it turns out, the fake priest was called to a patient's room, and Father Ben filled in, not knowing it was fake.
Bud Cort puppet: Hard to sit when you got someone's hand up your ass.
Franklin · Bud Cort: Hard to sit when you got someone's hand up your ass. / All right, let's lose the puppet.
Michael · Narrator: I have an older sister? / So much for not abandoning family.
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