George, Sr. hires a new attorney who asks the Bluths to participate in a mock trial to help prepare them for the real thing. The attorney gets actor Judge Reinhold to preside over the mock case. Meanwhile, Buster fakes a coma to get out of testifying, and George Michael and Maeby participate in a mock wedding to entertain hospital patients. Back at the office, Michael discovers that he may have a long-lost sister named Nellie Bluth.
Season 3's densest episode: 69 jokes in 28 minutes, anchored by escalating character absurdity.
Directed by Lev L. Spiro · Written by Chuck Tatham, Dean Lorey
WAR
164.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Fakin It” ranks #22 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 97.0 — Elite. The episode packs 102 scored jokes at 3.5 per minute, averaging 7.7 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Jan Eagleman · Narrator: We don't abandon each other. No one's closer than the Bluth family. / They were. / I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Narrator: You know, Michael, just because you played a role, doesn't make it real. Of course, Buster did grow up to be Captain Hook.
Narrator Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Buster: I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better, 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth.
Buster Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Narrator · Michael: And Michael discovers that he wasn't N. Bluth after all. / I have an older sister? / So much for not abandoning family.
Buster Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 102 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: Well, they've got one guy who won't be talking. That is, unless there's a hand inside of him.
Lucille: Oh, please, Michael. Even then, I wouldn't say anything.
Lucille Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Gob: Yes! I got him in the system. He is re-dyed, rested and ready to work.
Gob Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Gob · Michael: I gotta tell Franklin. / I think he meant 'get Franklin'.
Gob · Franklin (Gob's puppet): Franklin, guess what? / But I don't know anything.
Gob · Lucille · Michael: He certainly hasn't heard anything from me. Mother doesn't know anything, either. / I don't know anything. / Well, you both certainly act innocent.
Narrator: Buster knew a great deal. For Lucille, almost nightly, got drunk and told him.
Lucille: Your father says he wants me to go all the way to Fallujah. / I thought he meant the sex act that's so popular with your generation.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lucille: I know you're awake. Faker!
Lucille Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Gob · Michael: Whoa. I did not say that. / You did, Gob. Your mouth moved. Your hand didn't.
Gob Michael Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch George Sr. · Lucille: He, she, what's the difference? / Hear, hear. In the dark it all looks the same.
Lucille: Not another media whore. / Like to see a whore that does that! Not the carrying the weight part, but, on the other hand, if it's free.
Lucille Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Narrator: You know, Michael, just because you played a role, doesn't make it real. Of course, Buster did grow up to be Captain Hook.
Narrator Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Buster Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Callback Lucille · Narrator: Oh, no. He thinks he's a lawyer again. / Devotees will remember that Michael once played a lawyer in a school play.
Michael · Buster: No one is going to lie on that stand. And no one is going to betray the family. / [Cut to: Buster rocking and humming nervously]
Jan Eagleman · Michael: I'm doing a tech rehearsal for my new show, Judge Reinhold. / You know that there's an actor by that name, right?
Jan Eagleman: I read somewhere Judge Judy made $25 million last year. And I'm like, 'Hey, I never even heard of the guy.'
Michael · Jan Eagleman: So, you're doing this because your name is Judge? / Honestly, this is the first time I put those two things together.
Michael · Jan Eagleman: Maybe we should take Judge out of the title, and go with my original title, Mr Reinhold's Courtroom. / No, no, no. We're changing the name.
Producer: Got 250,000 talking magazine ads, and he wants to change the name.
Michael · Jan Eagleman: We are going to need a defence attorney, right, for the mock trial? And that's not gonna be cheap. / You know the case. Why not you?
Michael: Yes. Yeah, it'll give me a chance to show my dad what I can do. / I'll show him. I'll make a fool out of him.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lucille: I just pray it's one of those things where he's unconscious throughout the entire trial, and when it's over, he wakes up and gets a big toy.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lucille: Of course it crossed my mind, but this was all Buster.
Lucille Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy George Sr. · Michael · Lucille: He got into your brother's pills. Not the Forget-Me-Nows? / He asked me for them. I didn't know. I thought he was dating again.
Hospital Man: Hope you don't mind me saying, but these things can go on indefinitely. My mother's been in that bed for two years. / How awful. / We don't have a private room. They won't let me take out her feeding tube.
Hospital Man · Lindsay: And I'm lucky, I have the resources to pay for these medical bills. / You have resources? / What good is my money if I can't bring her back? / But you can't. / And money should be spent on dating, is that what you were gonna say?
Michael · Lindsay: Let's go ahead and wait outside. / So, you come here often? Cute button.
George Sr. · Michael: Oh, the red tape. / Looks a little bit more like Red Prawn, Dad. It's the shrimp fest.
Michael: Right now, he doesn't know who B. Bluth is.
Michael Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement George Sr. · Lucille: You're the lawyer? / That's the same representation Captain Hook had.
George Sr. · Lucille · Michael: It's so good to laugh again. Feels good. It does. / They say seven minutes heals all wounds.
George Sr. · Gob: Wait, not the Judge Reinhold show from all those magazine ads? / They're all over the place. Look at this. / My name is Judge.
Gob: I could use this in my ventriloquism act.
Gob Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Doctor: Well, Buster's in what we call a light-to-no-coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.
Doctor Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist Michael · Doctor · Narrator: Could that mean that he's faking it? / Highly likely this is fake, although there doesn't seem to be very much brain activity. / No, that's him.
George Sr.: I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimp Fest.
Hospital Volunteer Coordinator: Well, we have a group of young people who put on fake weddings for our Alzheimer's patients.
George Michael · Hospital Volunteer Coordinator: Would I have to touch the old people? / Only their hearts.
George Michael · Hospital Volunteer Coordinator: I don't have a girlfriend. / Sister, then. Or a cousin.
Narrator · George Sr.: Guess who liked that idea? / He says he doesn't want to do it. I'm actually trying to respect his choices lately.
George Michael: I mean, the girl I would want to give, and she'll want to give, too. And we'll do that together. It's for them, for the sake of... I just... It's a great day... For being sad.
Lindsay: So, I've got a date with the guy with the brain-dead mom. I mean, it's just a picket for them to pull the plug on our loved ones.
Lindsay Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Callback Michael: Given up hope on Buster pretty quickly there, Lindsay.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Buster: I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better, 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth.
Buster Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Buster Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Franklin: You'll call me up to the stand, say something like, 'Who is this little friend?' And he'll say... / My name is Judge. / Whose name is Judge? / My name is. / Okay. / That's a silly name. / That's enough. / Judge my name. / Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly. / Is. / Please stop. / Now you're correcting my grammar?
Michael: Looks like there's a secret room in this one, off the hallway. Wonder if we've got that. I'm gonna go check that out.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Misdirection ★ Rewatch Michael · Narrator: Nichael Bluth? / Am I N. Bluth?
Michael · Tobias · Talking Magazine: And for some reason this stack of bodybuilding magazines. / Well, I guess your dad must've had these from way back when, huh? / My name is... / That seems kind of current.
Tobias: Who am I trying to kid, Michael? I was trying to beef up to impress that wife of mine. But now she's after some rich guy who's trying to kill his mom.
Tobias Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Narrator: One room over, George Michael was also trying to convince someone to pursue a fake marriage.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Maeby · George Michael · Narrator: We'd have to kiss. Wouldn't that be kind of weird after what we've been through? / Well, that was a long time ago. / It had been two months since they'd kissed.
Narrator: And so, like many people who no longer felt anything for each other, they decided to get married.
Narrator Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael · George Sr.: I'm N. Bluth, aren't I? Legally, that's my real name.
George Sr.: Close to Christmas. Was that hard?
George Sr.: Why can't you be like Buster? He put himself in a coma to protect this family, poor kid.
Michael · George Sr.: Shrimp Fest is over, Pop. / Really? Better go to Chili's.
Lindsay: All they're doing in there is trying to keep people alive. It's a life mill.
Tobias · Lindsay: And he talked me into protesting, too. Show me your sign. / [Tobias shows 'PULL THE PLUG' on one side] / No, the other side.
Lindsay: Now, why don't we leave the fruits with the vegetables, and go get a coffee?
Lindsay Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Narrator · Maeby: And Maeby did the thing she had always thought was so corny... / I can't do this. I can't do this. / ...and ran away.
George Michael · Officiant: What are we gonna do? / Just give it a minute.
Officiant: Now it's a bar mitzvah.
Narrator: And as George Michael acted like a boy becoming a man, Michael returned to his office to find a man acting like a boy.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Wordplay/Pun Michael · Gob: What's this? / Just practising my testimony in a fake witness box. / And you couldn't have just taken my stuff off the desk first or unplugged my computer?
Gob · Franklin: Check this out. You'll say, 'Who's this little friend?' And I'll say, 'Well, he's not really feeling that well.' And you'll say, 'Oh, what's wrong with the little guy?' And he'll say... / 'Patient presented with gastric bacterial infection.'
Michael: Wow. Sounds like you could use some tricycling.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Your lips are still moving, and you stole the doctor's tape recorder?
Gob: I need this! My career needs this.
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Gob · Michael: You know what? Dad was right. If you really cared about this family, you'd be more supportive of me in this. / Gob, I'm not gonna turn this mock trial into some kind of... / You were gonna say 'mockery,' weren't you? / I was in trouble, like, three words into that.
Gob Michael Wordplay/Pun Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Wayne Jarvis (Prosecutor): Read the Patriot Act. Anything said in a mock trial or daytime courtroom show can be used in any real criminal proceeding or primetime procedural show, subject to the interpretation of the presiding judge or the executive producer.
Wayne Jarvis · Michael: In our case, Judge Reinhold is both. / Did he get E.P.? / Sure did. / Good for him.
George Michael · Narrator: Yeah, it's my dad's exercise room. / Although for all her worldliness, Maeby was still a child in many ways.
George Michael · Maeby: Well, you know, the Torah tells us that the larger wrong is to put our own feelings before the commitments we've made. You know, towards the sick, aged and gross. / That's not in the Torah.
George Michael · Narrator: And I just feel now like we left a lot of old people sad there today. / Again, not true.
George Michael · Narrator: I'm just saying maybe we could take those weird feelings and turn them into something positive. / He really wanted that kiss.
Michael · Narrator: Hey, you guys know about this room, too, huh? I'm just looking for some evidence for my trial against Pop-pop. / For Pop-pop.
Lindsay · Tobias · Narrator: I'm trying to get on with my life, and you know what? You can't deal with it. / No, I can't, Lindsay. You're not interested in me. And you're not capable of intimacy. / Well, just fake it! / Coma. / And believe it or not, that actually got through to them.
Buster: Now, will you please turn on the Cartoon Network and get the hell out of here.
Buster Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Callback Bailiff/Announcer: All rise for acting's highest honour, Judge Reinhold.
Judge Reinhold · Michael: Wow, thank you. That's the first time I ever got a standing ovation before the show. / They're not clapping. / They don't in a courtroom.
Tobias: Well, I spend so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts and...
Tobias Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jan Eagleman (prosecutor) · Michael: Your witness. / I have nothing.
Lucille: How should I know where the money comes from? I just know where it goes. To taking care of my poor comatose son.
Lucille Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael · George Sr.: I have no cross at this time. / Well, this is why you're not handling my real defence.
George Sr.: Well, listen, have fun out there, because this is the last time you're gonna see this side of a courtroom till your second wife divorces your freckled ass.
Michael: Look at that. You just blew your wedding speech.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Callback Michael · Franklin · Judge Reinhold: State your name. / My name is Judge. / What kind of name is that, magazine?
Jan Eagleman · Michael: I'm just gonna go ahead and jump in right here. / I have nothing for him.
George Sr. · Gob · Michael: Well, listen, have fun out there, because this is the last time you're gonna see this side of a courtroom — Franklin? You're calling Franklin, Mikey? / I sure am, pal. I support my brother.
Jan Eagleman · Judge Reinhold: Your Honour, this is highly unusual. / Well, I'm very curious to see where this is going. I'm gonna allow it. But I'm warning you, Mr Bluth, this better make for a good promo.
Michael · Wayne Jarvis (from tape): Would you please press the play button on the tape recorder inside the puppet? / If you don't do it, we're gonna go after N. Bluth, and we think that's you.
Wayne Jarvis: Why do there have to be puppets like Frank?
Judge Reinhold · Gob: Well, it looks like we've got a mistrial. / But on the plus side, we've also got a hung jury. Hit it!
Wayne Jarvis: You did good out there, Michael. But it's just a mock trial. Why didn't you just take it to the grand jury?
Jan Eagleman · Narrator: We don't abandon each other. No one's closer than the Bluth family. / They were. / I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Narrator: For, as it turns out, the fake priest was called to a patient's room, and Father Ben filled in, not knowing it was fake. Congratulations. And that's how the kids got married.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator · Announcer: The mock trial with J. Reinhold leads to imitators. All rise. Bud Cort is now in session.
Franklin: Hard to sit when you got someone's hand up your ass.
Narrator · Michael: And Michael discovers that he wasn't N. Bluth after all. / I have an older sister? / So much for not abandoning family.
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