The family unites behind Lindsay’s campaign, but Michael senses that something is amiss. Maeby has an idea that George-Michael likes a little too much.
Gob's physical comedy carries a 75-point episode despite subversive humor faltering mid-season.
Directed by Troy Miller · Written by Mitchell Hurwitz
WAR
105.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Everyone Gets Atrophy” ranks #81 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 89.0 — Elite. The episode packs 78 scored jokes at 2.5 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
George Sr. · Michael: You know our family motto. We forget, but we never forgive. I remember the framed needlepoint.
Lucille: She was married to that news anchor who said such horrible things about me when I was trying to save Buster with that boat. John Beard. Yeah. She's my Beard now.
Lucille Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback G.O.B.: I have a friend, this guy Tony... not a friend. He's nice. He had a face like mine... but same.
G.O.B. Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: You know, I broke up with her. You know, I show up there, I got a cactus, for God's sakes, you know, which is... that's the universal sign for 'things are over.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael · George Sr.: Although, by not forgiving, you're throwing everything out and just keeping the hate. Well, how do you think she keeps that figure?
All Jokes — 78 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Lucille: Now that the original Michael's back, I suppose we don't need two hands-on-our-hips, pipe-up-our-rectum scolds. So you can go.
Lucille Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Tobias: Back to playing Tobias. Yes. Exactly, because I am still a valued family member.
Tobias Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Tobias · Michael: so cruelly served to me from the back seat of my car by someone who thought I was a Lyft driver. Could have been the pink mustache.
Tobias: That's because everybody's thinking about Tony Wonder's beard. It was pink, right? I dyed it what I assumed was the color of Michael's skin.
Tobias Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch G.O.B.: I only remember the thing about Tony because of the 'W,' and his beard was a 'W,' which I thought, you know, for Wonder, was funny. You know, it tickled me. His beard tickled me.
G.O.B. Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · George Sr.: And is that part of what you look so confused about? It is on the list.
Lindsay: As a matter of fact, I am. I want to be part of the problem.
Lindsay Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch George Sr.: You're intelligent and you're wonderful and ethical and you're great. I mean, don't worry. She's jealous.
Lindsay · Spanish-speaking character: It's probably just because I'm younger. A puta.
Narrator · Lindsay · Lucille: Narrator: 'And perhaps Lindsay would have gotten a little healthier... had the cell reception been a little worse.' — Lindsay immediately gets a call from Lucille.
Lucille: Lucille 2 is not going to be a problem. And Sally hasn't been seen since Cinco.
Lucille Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Tony Wonder · Bystander: Somebody say 'Wonder'? Not wonder. No one's wondering! Just Tony.
George Sr.: I hate everything about my life, including you.
George Sr.: I feel like one of these bulls on my breasts.
George Sr.: His whole life, he's bred to be the strongest and the toughest and he's got to have the biggest balls... So when you're in your prime, they can drug you and throw you out in front of a crowd of people who just want to see you die so some guy in crushed velvet pants can come out and just stick a sword in you.
George Sr.: You're a bull who wants to stick it in everybody, and everybody ends up sticking it in you.
G.O.B.: I tried to buy those velvet pants. But I chickened out and got these shirts instead.
G.O.B. Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch G.O.B.: I have a friend, this guy Tony... not a friend. He's nice. He had a face like mine... but same.
G.O.B. Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback G.O.B.: ♪ I started a joke ♪ Hello, darkness. ♪ Which started the whole world crying ♪ Sorry, I'm taken.
G.O.B. Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch George Sr.: Oh, cry me a blizzard, snowflake. I gotta run.
G.O.B.: George Sr. tells G.O.B. his mother called him back: 'My God. Must be nice to be wanted, even if it's just your mom.'
G.O.B. Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement G.O.B.: Look who's horny now.
G.O.B. Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Callback Lindsay · Maeby · Narrator: I'm running for Congress, and I don't have a campaign manager and I need you. / Maeby had never heard her mother this vulnerable. Yeah. Sounds great. I'm in.
Maeby · Narrator: Hey. It is hard to resist. Taking advantage of the vulnerable.
Lindsay · Other Character: Oh, my gosh. I didn't even recognize you. It's a teenager thing. I could never pull that off. They want to look old, we want to look... You don't look very young.
Barry or George Sr.: See, she used to be an Orange County weather girl, which is just tits, teeth and ass, right? Now she's the host of O.C. Can You Say, which is tits, teeth, public affairs, ass, some light interviews. I mean, it's so much more responsibility!
Lucille: She was married to that news anchor who said such horrible things about me when I was trying to save Buster with that boat. John Beard. Yeah. She's my Beard now.
Lucille Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Lucille · George Sr.: Our Lindsay. I've never been less ashamed of her. Did I say what I think I said? Yes, you did.
Michael: She flew the coop. In the middle of running for Congress. I mean, no one remembers seeing her since Cinco de Cuatro.
Michael Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback George Sr. · Lucille: It was during the 1992 African-American riots, and they had every right. Every right. Every right. Mm.
Barry: Tell you what is hard beyond belief. My God, I wish you could get a feel on these two things that Joni's got going over here. They're like two geodes! You can feel them. I can't. My go-to joke is that these are the best two things John Beard's money can buy.
Barry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm George Michael · Mexican Waiter: I'm probably grumpy because I was out late last night, raping and murdering. Not cool. I wouldn't joke about that. I rape and murder, and I joke.
George Michael · Narrator: Hello? Here to clean the windows! / Total regression!
George Michael: God, it's so much smaller than I remember.
George Michael: For scenario two, you just found out that your Darth Vader figure is dating your girlfriend, and you find out he knew she was your... Whatever. Who gives a shit?
Narrator: He even inspired a certain move that would eventually appear two years later in a Han Solo origin picture.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch George Michael: There. That way... She can figure it out.
George Michael · Maeby: Hi... don't like it. / What? My hair? No, no, I like it. I just, uh, don't like that I'm just seeing it now.
George Michael · Maeby: I guess I was picturing you at 16. But I-I don't know why I... do that. But why did you do that?
Maeby: Well, truthfully... No, I'll just tell you the truth: it's a wig.
Maeby Deadpan/Understatement Misdirection Maeby: Everything I've given her to do or say has only made her go up in the polls. It's like the more offensive it is, the more people get behind her.
Maeby Irony/Sarcasm Observational Lindsay · Maeby · Narrator: She had her mother mock a reporter who had a speech problem... This so-called reporter from the Wee Guardian says I was right.
Narrator: Although, remember, this was in 2015, and many of the offensive comments almost seem quaint by today's standards.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Reporter · Maeby: While shocking, the video seems to have only given her a big rise in the polls. It certainly had that effect on me. - Not necessary! - Don't sack me.
Maeby · George Michael: Yeah. That's why I came up with the idea for us to kiss. / So the kissing is part of a plan?
Maeby: And then, I open my mouth, and I have these rotted out meth teeth. And I'm like, 'Then why do I gotta my cousin for some meth money, Mom?' You know, or something like that.
Maeby Dark/Subversive Character Comedy George Michael: Well, at least I didn't punch her in the face.
George Sr. · Michael: You know our family motto. We forget, but we never forgive. I remember the framed needlepoint.
Michael · George Sr.: Although, by not forgiving, you're throwing everything out and just keeping the hate. Well, how do you think she keeps that figure?
G.O.B. · George Sr.: Oh! Everyone gets a trophy, huh, Pop? Well, maybe I... did something right, huh? But I was like, 'But you gave one to everybody else. What happened to everybody gets a trophy?' There was that then. It was getting started, but...
G.O.B.: Meanwhile, the guy who could've tried harder is now giving it to the not super young, obviously, but still fairly well known local TV host whose breasts... And you're gonna be surprised to hear this coming from me... May be a little bit too hard.
G.O.B. Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Lucille · G.O.B.: Fine, I'll get trophies for everyone. Everyone gets a trophy. Count me out. Fine. Everyone but G.O.B. No!
G.O.B.: Sometimes, the truth can hurt a man more than the most brutally fashioned lie.
G.O.B. Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Family member: Is anyone else noticing that the family isn't quite, uh, as we remember them? In what way? That is not Buster.
Tobias · Actor playing Buster: Did the skit start? I don't have the hook thing. Hey, what's happening? Can I just do this with my hand instead, Tobias? Michael. I'm Michael.
Tobias · Young Actor: He's a young actor. I don't really want to be an actor. It's not what I want to do.
Tobias: I'm going in and out of Michael like a cuckoo clock bird.
Tobias Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Tobias: I'm Michael, G.O.B. is G.O.B., Michael is no one. And opening night energy, Places and re... Peas and carrots. Red leather...
Tobias Character Comedy Absurdist Tobias: Tobias shouts acting warmups: 'Peas and carrots. Red leather...' — Michael cuts him off.
Tobias Character Comedy Running Gag Buster: I mean, that guy obviously has a giant rubber hand, and I have a giant melted hand that smells like Bounce.
Buster Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Buster: I'm just surprised to see it, since I'm pretty sure I erased that video.
Buster Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Police Officers: We don't need a bad cop. Go home. See your kid. Thanks, Rick. That's why you're the good cop.
Michael · Buster: Michael finds Buster at the police station just as he declared he was leaving to focus on his son. The awkward coincidence of Buster being right there as Michael exits.
Michael · George Michael: Briefly. You going to the family thing that we're... Giving to ourselves? Huh? Yeah. I, uh, can't make it. Yeah? No? Should I tell them? Well, you know, listen, I-I wasn't gonna go, so don't-don't not go, because I'm... you know. You're the reason I would go.
Michael · George Michael: Oh, yeah? You got plans, huh? Well, we make plans, and God laughs. That's right. Right? No, I always want to make plans, but... You don't want to be laughed at.
Michael: Only reason I ask, 'cause I'm going on a scuba trip. Um, yeah, came back in town to get my gear. Only reason I'm here, um, you know. It's a last-minute thing. Several weeks at sea. You'd hate it. So, yes.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael: I mean, so much of life is, uh, plans. It would just be the same joke over and over. So he's... It's not funny anymore. What's he laughing at?
Michael Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement Callback Michael · George Michael: The thing with, um... So, Rebel, you know, 'cause she... I wanted to say, between the two of you, you know, if you ever felt like... Because, like, she's indicated that things were... I don't know what she said, but maybe things were not quite wrapped up completely with... Between me and her?
Michael: You know, I broke up with her. You know, I show up there, I got a cactus, for God's sakes, you know, which is... that's the universal sign for 'things are over.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael · Narrator: Well, if you ever change your mind, I ain't going nowhere. / Michael didn't know why he said the next thing out of his mouth. Maybe it was relief that he didn't have to break up with her, but for some reason, he came up with...
Narrator: Actually, the only contact George Michael had had with Rebel was watching one of her movies, with a Shane and three Noahs.
Rebel Alley (in movie): And you can say goodbye to these!
Michael: No, I told her. You know, I even said, 'Y'all are it for me.' You know. Go a step further and say, 'Y'all ain't going nowhere.' She's it. I don't know why she wouldn't think I was... wasn't going nowhere.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael · George Michael: 'Ciao.' / 'Bella.' — the elevator closes as Michael and George Michael part without resolving anything.
Michael · Tobias: That's it, I'm out of here! Michael returns for his bag. Okay, I get it. Is that supposed to be me? No, that's my impression of Tobias doing you.
Michael Tobias Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Tobias · Michael: Tobias doing Tobias. Yep? / I don't care. I'm... All right.
Tobias Michael Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Tobias: Tobias: 'Tobias doing Tobias. Yep?' — delivered after the confusion about who is playing whom.
Tobias Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator · Buster: And Buster wonders why Michael isn't doing Michael. Why hasn't Michael come back? What happened to 'Michael always comes back'?
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