When someone soils the carpet in Michael's office, Michael sees it as a form of hatred towards him and realizes for the first time that not everyone may like him. Due to the odor of his office, Michael temporarily switches workspaces with Jim, and while there, Michael reminisces of his pre-management days, reliving pranks with Dwight that he and Todd Packer played on the staff. Meanwhile, Jim realizes why Kelly sits alone in the back of the office as he plays messenger for a childish flirtation between Kelly and Ryan, and Pam tries to cope with the day without Jim to make her laugh.
WAR
79.9
Wins Above Replacement
“The Carpet” ranks #123 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.1 — Elite. The episode packs 75 scored jokes at 3.7 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Pam: Pam's talking head: 'What? Oh, nothing.' — mirroring Jim's opening line exactly
Pam Callback Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Stanley: Michael: 'I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.' Stanley: 'That's not what a hate crime is.' Michael: 'Well, I hated it a lot, okay.'
Kevin: Kevin wanders in: 'Hey, guys. Somebody making soup?'
Kevin Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Creed: Creed's non sequitur: Michael says 'My biggest fear is turning into him [Ed Truck].' Creed: 'Yeah, being buried alive would be worse. Happy?' Michael: 'Why am I talking to you?'
Michael: Michael: 'I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "No. I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."'
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Standout Moments
Pam: Pam's talking head: 'What? Oh, nothing.' — mirroring Jim's opening line exactly
Pam Callback Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Kevin: Kevin wanders in: 'Hey, guys. Somebody making soup?'
Kevin Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Stanley: Michael: 'I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.' Stanley: 'That's not what a hate crime is.' Michael: 'Well, I hated it a lot, okay.'
All Jokes — 75 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jim: Jim's talking head: 'What? Oh, nothing.' — delivered to camera after being asked about Pam's vacation
Jim Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jim: Jim continues: 'And she set a date for the wedding with Roy. June. Summer. So, that'll be nice. And that's that.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: Pam: 'Jim's been looking at me, kind of, a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.'
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael · Pam: Michael greets Pam with: 'Spamster!' — Pam explains: 'Pam, plus Spam, plus... Hamster. Right.'
Michael · Pam: Michael to Pam: 'Did you get lucky? Boink.'
Michael: Michael talking head: 'I get 10 vacation days a year and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. And this year I got to the third week in January.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Dwight · Jim: The discovery of something horrible in Michael's office: 'Whoa! God! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! What? Yuck! Wow, what happened in there?' ... 'How could that happen? How could... Right in the middle of the carpet.'
Michael · Dwight: After the cleaning lady scrubs the stain: 'It's still stinky. That is worse. She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. Total permeation.'
Michael: Michael talking head: 'I am a big Fear Factor fan. I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually. So this is sort of like my audition tape.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Ryan: Ryan returns: 'What's going on in here?' / 'What? I did not do that.' — immediate defensive denial before anyone accuses him
Ryan Character Comedy Misdirection Ryan: Ryan in talking head, insistent: 'It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It was not me.'
Ryan Character Comedy Escalation Callback Jim: Jim's silent reaction beat — implied camera look — to Michael suggesting they share a desk
Jim Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Jim · Kelly: Jim moves to Kelly's area; Kelly explains Toby had to move 'because of an allergy.' Jim: 'Allergy to... the desk?' Kelly: 'Weird.'
Michael: Michael waxes nostalgic about his old seat: 'The pressures of my office are insane. I just... You couldn't understand, but man, you guys have it easy out here.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Michael's anecdote about Ed Truck: 'He hated fun. It was like, Oh, Ed Truck is walking toward us, so stop having fun. Start pretending to do work.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Michael: 'I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and would applaud as I walked away.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael · unnamed employee: Michael's nostalgia is interrupted mid-sentence by a random employee monologue about closet doors and clothes piles, cutting him off completely
Michael · Jim: Todd Packer's desk history: Jim and Michael discuss that Packer used to sit in the bullpen; Michael's face lights up
Michael: Michael talking head: 'When I was in training, many years ago, not so long ago...'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Michael: 'Packer and I once spent a whole day with our pants off. And when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy.'
Michael Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dwight: Dwight: 'A customer. Well, sound the alarm.'
Dwight Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael: Michael talking head: 'Another time, Packer held this guy's head in the toilet for like, a minute. The guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn't hired.'
Michael Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Michael · Dwight: Michael gives Dwight a charley horse; Dwight: 'You shouldn't have hit me, Michael.' Michael: 'Okay.'
Michael: Michael: 'Once, as a joke, Packer banged every chick in the office. It was hysterical.'
Michael Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Kelly: Kelly talking head: 'Beyonce, pink the color, Pink the person, hot dogs, basically anything that is awesome. Snow cones...'
Kelly Character Comedy Absurdist Jim · Kelly: Jim asks Kelly to relay Michael's question about the chair lever; Kelly: 'That's what I told him. Thanks.' / Jim afterward: 'Oh, my God, he is so cute.'
Kelly · Jim: Kelly begs Jim to be her go-between with Michael: 'Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me? ... Oh, please, Jim. Please, please, Jim. Please, please, please, he's so cute. I like him so much... Please, Jim. Please, please, please. Please, Jim. Please, please, please.'
Michael · Dwight: Michael initiates 'Sales on Accounting' raid: 'Let's send up Accounting. Old-fashioned raid. Sales on Accounting.' He and Dwight sweep into Accounting and knock things off desks.
Michael · Dwight: The raid on Accounting plays out: Michael and Dwight storm the area knocking things over, yelling 'Sales rules! Yes! Yeah!'
Michael · Pam: After the raid, Michael warns Pam: 'Watch out, Pam. You're next.' Pam: 'You're gonna throw my things on the ground?' Michael: 'Maybe.'
Michael: Michael talking head: 'What happened in Michael's office was wrong. I understand it. It makes sense. But it was still wrong.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael: 'Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady. And, well, she doesn't do a very good job, obviously, because my office still reeks like you would not believe. I hate her.'
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Michael: Michael: 'I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office. The only thing that makes any sense.'
Dwight: Dwight on the phone repeatedly trying to be the 107th caller for a radio contest, interrupting the workplace
Dwight Character Comedy Running Gag Dwight: Dwight finally succeeds: 'Am I the 107th caller?' — after multiple failed attempts earlier in the scene
Dwight Running Gag Callback Callback Jim · Ryan: Jim and Ryan conversation that slides into vacation planning: 'I wonder if I could, like, call in sick on the Friday. Then I get a four-day weekend. And when I wake up, I feel fine. But it's so weird to fall asleep.'
Jim Ryan Observational Character Comedy Michael: Michael announces a $100 sales contest: 'Seventy, eighty, one, two, three. $83. Still a lot of money and I'm gonna leave it right over here where everybody can see it.'
Michael: Michael announces he will be competing in the contest himself, using Jim's clients: 'I will be taking Jim's clients today because he is not here, and out of sight. Out of the contest.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Dwight: Dwight talking head: 'Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us.'
Dwight Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Dwight: Dwight's talking head: 'Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us.'
Dwight Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Michael on the phone making a sale, then celebrating: 'Yes! Oh! Yeah. Read it and weep. Oh! Oh, look at that! Look at me, Phyllis! Oh, what is that? That's my sale!'
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Michael · coworkers: After Michael's victory dance, coworkers: 'I think he's dancing.' Michael: 'No, just... That was definitely not dancing. You know what, guys? It's none of your concern. It was official business, so just... Paper business.'
Oscar: Oscar talking head: 'Somebody did something bad to Michael's carpet. Maybe that's all we need to know.'
Oscar Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Creed · Oscar: Creed and Oscar's exchange: 'Who do you think did it?' / 'Are you kidding? I thought it was you.' / 'Really? I thought you.'
Creed Oscar Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael: 'This was no act of God. A person did this. A person who works in this office. Maybe all of them.'
Michael: Michael cancels the sales contest citing the carpet: 'Does anyone need to smell my old carpet? You explain to me how that was fair and I'll explain to you how this is fair.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Michael: Michael: 'Very well, then you're all punished. What's our punishment? You're all on a time out. Just sit there quietly.' — delivered to the entire office
Michael: Michael punishes everyone with a 'time out' — 'Very well, then you're all punished. What's our punishment? You're all on a time out. Just sit there quietly.'
Jim · Dwight: Jim starts to ask Dwight about Kelly: 'What do you think of Kelly?' Dwight: 'I don't know. It depends if you like a little junk in...' Jim: 'She's really cool.'
Kelly · Jim: Jim as romantic go-between: Kelly tells him Michael is interested in 'long-term, fall in love, have babies, spend every second together. But don't tell him that, okay? Just tell him I'm, like, up for anything. I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows?'
Kelly Jim Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael · Creed: Creed's non sequitur: Michael says 'My biggest fear is turning into him [Ed Truck].' Creed: 'Yeah, being buried alive would be worse. Happy?' Michael: 'Why am I talking to you?'
Michael · Ed Truck: Michael meets Ed Truck outside the building to avoid having him in the office — the revelation that the pension issue was fake: 'Oh, no, no, no, you're good. It was clerical. You're good.'
Michael · Ed Truck: Michael: 'You can love a boss like you do a father.' Ed Truck: 'I'm not sure that ever happens.'
Michael: Michael: 'Last week I would have given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them.'
Michael: Michael: 'I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "No. I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."'
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Jim: Jim leaves a voicemail for 'Brenda from the boat': citing that she gave her number to corporate 'probably because you wanted me to ask you out, right?'
Jim Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Pam · Jim: Pam's reaction shot to Jim's voicemail: 'You just asked a girl out on the phone.' Jim: 'Yep.' [pause] 'Yes.'
Pam Jim Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Todd Packer: Todd Packer calls Michael at the office: 'Hello, yes, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott.' Michael: 'Who is this? How did you get this number?' Packer: 'Your mom, you gay nerd.'
Michael · Packer · office staff: Packer reveals the 'package' he left in Michael's office: Michael asks around the office 'Did anybody see a package here today?'... 'How big was it?'... 'Did you see a big package?'
Michael · Office Employees: Michael finally understands: 'Are you kidding me?' — the dawning realization that the 'package' is the carpet incident, as the office confirms 'You mean... the thing?'
Michael: Michael's joyful reaction to learning Packer did it: 'Are you kidding me?'... 'Special delivery. That was Packer! You are dead! You are dead, my friend.'
Michael Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Todd Packer: Packer's talking head: 'It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand.'
Michael: Michael talking head after the reveal: 'It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand.' / 'It was done out of love, just like I thought.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael: 'It was done out of love, just like I thought.' (recalling his earlier theory)
Michael Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael: 'Oh, I'm just so sorry that I threw the thing out.'
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: Pam's voicemails to Jim on his work phone — a series of messages left while Michael sat at her desk
Pam Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's voicemail: 'I moved my computer so I can't see Michael's head. It's working. I think I can have a career as a very specific type of decorator.'
Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Pam: Pam's voicemail: 'Sudoku. Level, moderate. Time, 18 minutes. Suck on that, Halpert.'
Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's voicemail: 'Michael was standing at my desk, and I needed to be busy or who knows what would have happened. So, thank you.'
Pam Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Pam: Pam's voicemail: 'Hey, what's that word we made up for when you have a thing stuck in your shoe? Anyway, I have a thing stuck in my shoe.'
Pam Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's final voicemail: 'Hey, I have a chance to sneak out of here early and I'm not messing this up. So, I'll see you tomorrow. Calling from my cell phone.'
Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Creed: Creed's final voicemail: 'I don't know if you guys figured out who did that to Michael's carpet yet, but I have a theory that involves an inter-departmental conspiracy. Everybody in the office. We need to talk.'
Creed Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Office
