Garage Sale

Oscar:Oscar owns a large collection of Will & Grace merchandise/DVDs despite not being a fan — everyone assumes he is because he's gay

Michael:"10 cents of every dollar is going into the party fund so we can throw parties for ourselves."

Dwight · Pam · Kevin:Extended argument over whether to leave the garage door open in the cold, with Dwight insisting the cold 'will drive business inside' and refusing to close it

Dwight:"Schrutes are farmers by hobby and traders by trade." — Dwight announces his grand trading scheme starting with a used thumbtack

Dwight:Dwight trades a thumbtack for a used candle by pointing out the crooked sign is 'trash, like your sign'

Jim · Pam:Couple negotiating over a neon sign — price swings wildly, culminating in the revelation it might go into storage 'in case something changes'

Pam:Pam's confessional: "I don't have an 'in case.' Do you have an 'in case'?" — staring at the camera with barely concealed concern

Michael:Michael calls Holly's father, pretends he's going to fire Holly, then pivots to asking for her hand in marriage

Dwight · Angela:Dwight approaches Angela's table and tells her that a half-used candle signals to men that she's seeing someone else, making them 'lock her down fast'

Angela · Dwight:Angela lets Dwight take her Helen Fielding and Jennifer Weiner collection — signaling she's giving up on romance

Andy · Kevin · Darryl:Andy proposes making the Dallas board game 'a little interesting' after Kevin reveals there are no instructions

Jim:"What is this? How did those get out? I'm sorry." — Jim embarrassed that his 'Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes' beans are on the table

Jim · Dwight:Jim's story about buying magic beans in Jamaica from a man who 'told me things about myself that there's no way he could have known' — then the man vanished

Jim · Dwight:"Correction. I do not want to sell you 'Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes.' Nice try. No, correction, terrible try."

Holly · Holly's Mom · Holly's Dad:Holly calls home and her father can't focus on the conversation — keeps referencing a TV program about India and forgetting Holly is in Pennsylvania

Holly's Mom:'Oh! Which one's decaf?' — Holly's mom's complete non-sequitur ending the phone call.

Michael · Pam:Michael has gas on his hands and shoes from writing a fire message proposal and asks Pam to light it

Pam · Michael:"Michael, you've had two ideas today, and one of them was great and the other one was terrible. I am not in the mood for riddles, Pam."

Ryan:Ryan is selling his mom's pesto at the garage sale under false pretenses — he told her it was for a 'pesto party for all my friends'

Ryan:Ryan confessional: "And Phyllis just had that 'mom look' I wanted."

Customer · Ryan:"You got this kosher certified?" / "No. I meant like, 'It's cool. It's kosher. It's all good.'"

Ryan:Ryan's confessional: 'Ryan, you have such an interesting mind. So creative. All these new business ideas and artistic projects.' — Ryan says this about himself in third person

Ryan:"Why would I want some random black man's old photo album sitting on my bookshelf? I'm not James Franco."

Dwight:Dwight's confessional trading chain: 'thumb tack → Meredith's junk → Kelly's crap → Phyllis's garbage → Oscar's trash → Stanley's crap → Ryan's junk → Creed's garbage → a very cute squid that Erin happened to have'

Jim · Pam:Jim's reaction beat: 'Jim, put those away.' — Jim is embarrassed again about something at the garage sale (the beans reappearing or another embarrassing item)

Jim · Dwight:Jim confessional: 'I'm really sorry. Pam must've put those out.' / 'What were the claims for those beans?' — Jim immediately starts justifying the beans' worth to Dwight

Jim:"You know what? This ends now." — Jim presumably decides to demonstrate the beans, followed by a scene break implying something absurd happened

Michael · Dwight:Michael calls a meeting ostensibly about 'recycling' — but it's really about the proposal; he's forgotten he called it

Jim:Jim's proposal advice: 'If you are in a costume, you did something wrong. If at any point you find yourself tying the ring to a dog's collar, stop and look at yourself.'

Kevin · Andy · Darryl:Kevin plays a 'blackmail card' and 'proxy meeting card' in the same turn in Dallas board game; Andy says you can't do both

Andy · Kevin · Darryl:Andy plays a 'share the wealth' card from The Game of Life — 'It was in the box.'

Andy:"We must honorably adhere to the rules that we are making up on the spot."

Darryl · Andy:Darryl: 'No, but that's not fair.' Andy: 'Well, that's Dallas.' Darryl: 'Dallas indeed.'

Stanley · Ryan:Stanley recognizes his own photo album in Ryan's garage sale pile

Ryan:Ryan's confessional: 'My mom also makes the best salsa.' — completely unprompted pivot after the Stanley confrontation

Holly:Holly's confessional about when to move a parent to care: 'If you wait for the day when your parent comes to you and says, "I can't take care of myself," that's never going to happen.'

Phyllis:"I have a box of bras under the table if you're interested." — Phyllis interjects into Holly's emotional moment

Michael:Michael's proposal idea: throw a corpse dressed like him off the roof, head pops off, saying 'I lost my head when I fell in love with you'

Michael:Michael reveals the ring — 'They say three-year salary' — and everyone reacts with shock

Pam · Jim · Michael:Pam says Jim proposed 'at a gas station' — the group is incredulous

Michael · Jim:Michael: 'That must have been a surprise when at the gas station you proposed.' Jim: 'No, it was really sweet. It was raining.' Michael: 'Yeah, you didn't say that the weather was bad.'

Michael · Jim:Michael: 'I want this to be an event that everyone talks about always and forever.' Jim: 'Totally reasonable.'

Kevin:Kevin confessional: 'Get this. Kevin thought I was going to sell my Bowflex for $200. And I told him, "Dude, this was a prop in my movie."'

Holly · Michael:Holly begins to propose to Michael — 'Michael Scott, will you...' — and Michael panics and shuts it down

Michael:"Should have burned this place down when I had a chance."

Kevin · Andy · Darryl:Kevin's Dallas endgame: 'Hey, guys, it's my turn.' / 'You can't go. You're dead. I shot you five moves ago.'

Michael:'Should have burned this place down when I had a chance.' — Michael's aside after stopping Holly's proposal.

Andy:"I start having rules now, everything we've built collapses."

Darryl:Darryl's button on the Dallas sequence: 'And that is Dallas.'

Dwight · Jim:Dwight trades the telescope for the magic beans — 'They're probably worthless. Probably.' / 'Leave the telescope.'

Dwight:Dwight's confessional: he started with a thumb tack, traded up to a telescope, then traded the telescope back for the beans — 'In a way the most valuable thing here wasn't the telescope at all. No. It was this packet of beans.'

Michael · Holly:Holly and Michael's garage sale results: 'Thirteen dollars. That's great. And still have most of our stuff? Good.'

Michael · Holly:Michael's tour of meaningful office locations: 'This is where Toby announced he was going to Costa Rica. It was the happiest day of my life until the day you came to replace him.'

Michael · Holly:Michael: 'I was sitting at this desk when I called you to tell you that I had herpes and that I was still in love with you, and you said it was over... But thank goodness none of that was true, including the herpes. Ingrown hair.'

Michael · Holly:Michael recounts the 'obesity awareness' meeting they co-ran: 'Saved a lot of lives that day. That's when you first met Michael Klump. "I say, I say, I'll sit on you."'

Michael · Holly:Holly: 'That's when you first met Michael Klump.' Michael: 'I say, I say, I'll sit on you.' (Both laugh)

Michael · Holly:Michael reminds Holly: 'Over there, that's where you realized that Meredith was prostituting herself for Outback steak. And you had the cutest look on your face because you couldn't believe it.'

Michael · Holly:Michael reveals a spot that's just... a window he'd stand at to stare at Holly. 'I would just find an excuse to come here so I could stare at you through that window. This is what I'd do.'

Michael · Holly:Michael's proposal: 'This is where I fell in love with you. And this is where I ask you to marry me.' — the candles spell out something, fire alarm goes off mid-proposal

Michael · Jim · Office:Michael announces 'we're moving to Colorado. All of us?' / 'Yep.' — the office's horrified reaction

Michael · Office staff:Michael announces to the group: 'We're moving to Colorado. All of us?' — the office's panic/confusion at Michael's announcement.