The office holds a garage sale in the warehouse. Michael decides to propose to Holly, and runs into trouble thinking of how to do it well.
WAR
5.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Garage Sale” ranks #178 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 65.6 — Mixed. The episode packs 67 scored jokes at 2.6 per minute, averaging 6.3 on craft and 5.9 on impact, with Todd Packer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight · Jim: Who is justice beaver? He... it's a crime-fighting beaver.
Dwight Jim Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: Kevin will be eaten. Pam will be taken slave. Jim will be made a warlord's Jester. Meredith will do okay.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Pam Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: We have been thinking about where packer should sit, and we can't just sit around waiting for creed to die.
Michael Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Packer is a survivor of divorce, Stanley. Packer doesn't speak with his child, Meredith. Packer never lived up to his parents' expectations, Andy.
All Jokes — 67 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dwight: You're eating eight-year-old tomatoes. They're still good for another week.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Creed: I've got some cheese you might like too... In between my toes.
Creed Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dwight: Kevin will be eaten. Pam will be taken slave. Jim will be made a warlord's Jester. Meredith will do okay.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: Be assured this day will come. It's just a matter of time. Could be one month, could be two months. Three months. - Could be. - Four months.
Jim · Dwight: 494 months. I could see that happening. 495 months. That's just...
Todd Packer: I really thought I was becoming too much of a womanizer. I realized I had shirts in five different women's houses.
Todd Packer: Truth is, I got a couple love bumps on my ding-dong, so I was like, 'oh, game over.'
Todd Packer: It was the best of times. It was the 'awesomest' of times.
Todd Packer: Whoa, I'm sorry. Michael, I thought we were meeting Holly today, not Jennifer Aniston.
Michael: Just so you know, he's at his funniest when you've given him, like, five shots. And it also helps if you've had five shots. I already have.
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Michael: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to a man who needs no introduction, probably because most of you have done it with him.
Michael: Just kidding. He wouldn't be interested in any of you.
Michael Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Todd Packer: It's great to be among friends. And until then, you suckers will do.
Michael: Packer is turning in his car for a desk. He is turning in his condoms for a condominium, although he's probably going to have to use condoms from here on out.
Holly: What don't you understand about the word 'approved'? It seems a couple of you don't know what the word 'approved' means. I have very little patience for stupidity.
Holly Character Comedy Escalation Erin · Gabe: Sorry we're late. Gabe fell in the shower. Such a klutz. Yeah, and it took the fire department forever to get there.
Andy: And I don't want to say the other one was old, but its I.P. Number was one.
Andy Setup/Punchline Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Jim · Pam: You know, I cleaned up our daughter for, like, an hour at 4:00 A.M. This morning, so... So you know the feeling.
Jim Pam Setup/Punchline Observational Michael: We have been thinking about where packer should sit, and we can't just sit around waiting for creed to die.
Michael Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Dwight: 'Packer was here and so was your mom.'
Todd Packer: It's $20 to watch, Halpert.
Todd Packer · Office worker: Whose dirt box is this? That's our zen garden. What do you grow in here, bull crap?
Angela: You think you're so cute with your pretty blond hair.
Angela Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Meredith · Phyllis: That's how he gets you to take off your panties. - Why are you nodding? - United front.
Holly · Ryan: Right. This isn't the U.S. government. What are you referencing? Everything. Everything.
Angela · Holly: Well, I mean, he humped Michael. Well, if that's the case, I guess I've got to be fired too.
Gabe · Andy: This computer's a hunk of junk. Hey, sailor, come watch your regatta over here.
Andy: This is a sick computer. Gwen Stefani has this computer.
Andy Character Comedy Observational Andy: Yeah, but if you donated my computer to Africa, it would become famous as the slowest computer in Africa.
Stanley: So something good happening to Stanley is crazy now.
Stanley Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Andy: What, are you gonna play mah-jongg faster?
Andy Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Todd Packer: Yeah. Three muske-queers.
Todd Packer: I don't know. I love her and all, but she's turned into a bitch. Most days she's great, but some days she acts like her mom.
Todd Packer · Kevin: Since when did you learn how to read? I do know how to read, though. Yeah. You know how to read a menu.
Dwight: Kevin, in sumo culture, you'd be considered a promising up-and-comer.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Andy · Pam: Erin just wanted me to have it, so we switched. What? Erin, is that true?
Andy Pam Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Pam: When I'm freaking out, I just sort of step back, take three deep breaths. I'm not freaking out. Okay? And then I ask myself, 'is this worth freaking out about?'
Pam Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Pam · Andy: Andy, why should she have your crappy computer? Oh, that's interesting. So you also think my computer's crappy.
Andy: Please make sure nobody is humping me.
Andy Absurdist Character Comedy Callback Erin: Best day ever. Best day ever. So much is happening.
Erin Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Erin · Pam: Question... should I get stripes shaved into the side of my head? No. No. Please.
Erin Pam Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Michael: Oh, he's funnier than me. He's not funny at all. So I'm less funny than not funny at all?
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Holly: Okay, bill cosby, Steve Martin, Charlie bit my finger, Michael Scott, then all the way down here, Todd packer.
Holly Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Jim · Todd Packer: 'Cause I want to let bygones be bygones, show you I'm cool. You're the new guy. It's cold out. I made too much. That's a lot of reasons.
Todd Packer: The only hot chocolate I'm into is Vivica A. Fox.
Dwight: It isn't poison. It's a laxative. People take laxatives all the time. This is just a lot more of a laxative.
Dwight Escalation Character Comedy Jim: Does Edgar Allen poe know about that one? So sinister.
Jim Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: Who is justice beaver? He... it's a crime-fighting beaver.
Dwight Jim Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim: I put a sign-up sheet in the conference room, and I signed us up for three mods. A mod is five minutes, and it started two minutes ago, so...
Jim Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Pam · Andy: Well, if it breaks all the way, I can get you a new one. Pretty sneaky, sis.
Pam Andy Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Dwight · Jim: There are 400 of these. Yeah, I couldn't cut it down. They're all good.
Jim: 'Number three... eat a frog.' That sounds promising. 'Number four... eat a dog.'
Jim: 'Eat a brog.' Maybe it's 'cause I didn't understand it.
Jim Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement Andy: Allow all cookies? Why, 'soitenly.' Pop-ups? Yes, please. Bit torrent streaming from a Somalian music website? Yeah, why not?
Andy Escalation Character Comedy Andy · Erin: Oh, I hope you don't get sick, Mr. computer. Why are you doing this to me, Andy?
Andy Erin Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Todd Packer: Michael, can I open the kimono with you? I've been on the road too long.
Todd Packer · Kevin: I'm sorry if you were offended by my comments earlier. Well, like I said, I wasn't offended, but I'll stand here for the big show.
Todd Packer: Kevin, I am so sorry. You are skinny, and you're a genius. That... that was maybe too much.
Michael: Packer is a survivor of divorce, Stanley. Packer doesn't speak with his child, Meredith. Packer never lived up to his parents' expectations, Andy.
Michael · Angela: Angela loves pussycats. Packers loves... - No, don't. - I was going to say 'dogs'!
Michael: Now I know why jo has kept her eye on you. And you make sure to get down there and check out the Harry Potter world.
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Todd Packer: I'm a huge alligator nerd. I can name you every genus, every subspecies. Also, I'm a huge boob nerd.
Todd Packer: All I'm saying is, in about a month or so, have you down to Florida, introduce you to all the local talent.
Holly · Michael: I'm sorry about your friend. No. He's an ass. You are. What are you, wicked smaht? No, you are.
Darryl · Pam: Yeah, you really did, 'cause I know every inch of that warehouse. Yep. Super lucky.
Darryl · Pam: Maybe you could go back down there and see if you can find me some extra sick days. Yeah. You know what? I think I saw one sick day... I think maybe I saw five. Three.
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch ⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 18:00-19:00 range with Packer's Florida exposition as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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