Dwight installs a Doomsday device that will fire all of the employees and effectively close down the branch if they make too many mistakes. Meanwhile, Gabe attempts to court the new warehouse worker, Val.
WAR
21.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Doomsday” ranks #143 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 73.9 — Solid. The episode packs 64 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 6.5 on craft and 6.2 on impact, with Dwight landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: If you hit another horse, you dug too far.
Dwight Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight · Robert California: Chalk that one up to tweedle Dee and tweedle dum out there. Who are they? They're both Kevin.
Dwight: They're making me out to be a Bond villain. I like to think of myself as a brilliant scientist who will stop nothing to remake the world... Like... Not Dr. Moreau. Someone good. Dr. Frankenstein. Dr. Jekyll. Not them. Doctor...
Dwight Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Stanley: I know how to save the company, everyone. Just write a petition. Get everyone's signature, including our clients. March down to Florida... And shove it up your butt.
Stanley Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight · Kevin: Can you tell me now where paper comes from? Uh...The man tree puts his penis--
All Jokes — 64 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Andy: Hey, everybody! It's closing time! You all gotta go home but you can stay here.
Andy Absurdist Character Comedy Andy: Otherwise, you go home and the night just feels like more day, it's weird.
Andy Observational Character Comedy Jim: Oh, my boss is singing closing time. Maybe that's what you're hearing.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jim: Let's see. Andy has been manager for 105 days. Which means I've heard closing time 105 times. Still don't know the words.
Jim Observational Character Comedy Jim: ♪ Ah wah dah wah home and home and home ♪
Jim Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Andy: You know what? Fine! I try to start fun traditions for you guys, but if you don't wanna sing, no traditions!
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Stanley: ♪ Closing time ♪ ♪ every new beginning ♪ I never heard that song before. And once I heard it, I did not care for it. But that songs means it's time to go home. Now it's my favorite song.
Stanley Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Robert California · Dwight: - Who's your favorite iron chef? - This report is atrocious.
Andy · Robert California: Did you need something from us? Yes. Your attention. Uh, because... No. That is all.
Dwight: Last night, I dreamed that the number two was the most valued number in the world. The vice president had all the power, athletes fought for silver medals. Women were considered the best gender. And stadiums of fans shouted 'we're number 2!'
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: As with all my dreams, I'm guessing it was about my fear of immigrants.
Dwight Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Robert California: Chalk that one up to tweedle Dee and tweedle dum out there. Who are they? They're both Kevin.
Dwight: Oscar is the sex and the city gang.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy Dwight · Robert California: Sometimes I feel like you don't know me at all. I would agree with that.
Robert California: When I come back next week and this report show me no mistakes, we can talk about names all day. Our favorite names, silly made-up names, normal names said in a silly voice. Wouldn't that be nice?
Robert California: And you can't have a favorite iron chef. It depends entirely on the secret ingredient.
Robert California: Sometimes I feel you don't know food at all.
Jim · Pam: - Maybe justine. - Bah! Nope. Not justine. Never justine. - Is that off again? - Oh, yeah.
Jim Pam Character Comedy Observational Val · Gabe: Are you really this lazy? I'll be there.
Val Gabe Reaction Beat Character Comedy Gabe · Val: Mondays suck. Yep.
Gabe Val Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dwight: Ah, I should've used a shorter string. Never mind. I know it by heart.
Dwight Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Dwight · Andy: Do not go there! You're the deuce I never wanna drop.
Gabe: I'm not technically seeing her, but I've seen her-- with the eyes-- and there was attraction in at least one direction. So...
Gabe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Gabe: It's gonna be hot and heavy, and I don't want a bunch of bureaucratic red tape wrapped around my jock, you know?
Gabe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Gabe: Yeah, we had a whole conversation about mondays.
Gabe Cringe/Discomfort Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Gabe · Toby: Toby, I'm gonna tell you her last name tomorrow because she's gonna be screaming it tonight. She's gonna be screaming her own last name?
Gabe Toby Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dwight: Five strikes in a day equals a homerun. One home run and you're out.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Andy: something bad happens, like we block mindsweeper.
Andy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Dwight: "Robert's favorite songs, Creep by TLC, Creep by Radiohead." Remember that one, Jim?
Dwight Observational Character Comedy Dwight · Oscar: "there's no way he hasn't strangled at least one stripper." Oscar.
Dwight · Kelly: "He eats his yogurt like he is punishing it for disappoint him." Kelly.
Dwight: "P.S. We should kill him."
Dwight Dark/Subversive Escalation Jim · Dwight: Wait, so you installed a doomsday device? No, it's an accountability booster.
Jim Dwight Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: They're making me out to be a Bond villain. I like to think of myself as a brilliant scientist who will stop nothing to remake the world... Like... Not Dr. Moreau. Someone good. Dr. Frankenstein. Dr. Jekyll. Not them. Doctor...
Dwight Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Oscar: Oh! There's one mistake. Now we only have four strikes left until a homerun.
Oscar Callback Irony/Sarcasm Callback Darryl: It's not a race. Thirrr-- Third.
Darryl Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Warehouse worker: It's for protecting my ass when you suckers lift more than you can handle.
Gabe: Look at this. This is enormous. Oh.
Gabe Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort Gabe: I got the sense that Val enjoys a good put-down. Considering that's the only thing I know about her, I will be milking that hard.
Gabe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Gabe: The Michelin man called. He wants his cummerbund back.
Gabe Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Kevin: When the stake are this high, there's only one computer that I trust, and it's powered by thai food and spanish reds.
Kevin Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Pam: Try something like, um, z64$8. Not that exactly, Jim. Something like that.
Pam Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jim: How about 'Scranton strangler 666'?
Jim Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Callback Jim · Pam: What's Dwight's mother's name? Um, Hedda. No.
Jim Pam Character Comedy Observational Gabe: A $100 bill. Should cover it, I think.
Gabe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Gabe: Don't bring me any of that caramel soy latte crap, okay? I want a decaf frappuccino. Val? Actually, Val, why don't you come with?
Gabe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Stanley: Well, I was saving this for my retirement, which I guess is today.
Stanley Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Kevin: Can you tell me now where paper comes from? Uh...The man tree puts his penis--
Dwight: I'll make sure to write you a glowing reference. Glowingly negative.
Dwight Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Kevin: Pam, you should come with me. Dwight really likes you and...Your breasts are enormous. That can help us.
Kevin Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Pam: Guys, come on. I'm right here.
Pam Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Dwight: What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a horse.
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight: If you hit another horse, you dug too far.
Dwight Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Pam · Dwight: Oh, wow. I forgot how pretty your house is. This is the newest addition built by Erasmus Schrute in 1808. It doubled as a tuberculosis recovery room until 2009.
Pam Dwight Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam · Kevin: That's too much doodle and not enough lab. Yeah, when are they gonna do a labradoodle that's just lab?
Gabe: So tonight I was thinking I'm gonna go to the cemetery, I'm gonna drink a little wine, and I thought maybe you'd like to come with me.
Gabe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Gabe: I could quit. Problem solved.
Gabe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Stanley: I know how to save the company, everyone. Just write a petition. Get everyone's signature, including our clients. March down to Florida... And shove it up your butt.
Stanley Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight · Pam: Oh, Pam, you got something on your shirt. Oh! Oh, well. Pobody's nerfect, right?
Dwight: Did you just have a stroke, Pam? It's nobody's perfect. Nice stroke, Pam.
Dwight Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dwight · Pam: Sive drafely. Isn't it supposed to be drive safely?
Jim · Robert California: Right now? Yes. Here you go. Whoa, no, wait, wait, whoa! Oh, man, I'm sorry. What the [Bleep]? Sorry. Jesus.
Dwight: They're not my favorite people in the world. I wouldn't even call them friends. They come over here, eat my pie, dig the crappiest horse grave you've ever seen. God, I'm gonna have to work with them forever, aren't I?
Dwight Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Callback Jim · Robert California: Classic, right? Ooh. I'm all right. You all right? Yep. Skinned knee. Yep.
⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 19:00-21:30 range with squash scene physical comedy as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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