Michael becomes convinced that an insurance salesman visiting the office is a part of the mafia, and Dwight and Andy accompany Michael to a meeting with him. Meanwhile, Kevin accidentally cancels Jim's credit card, while Jim and Pam are on their honeymoon in Puerto Rico.
WAR
40.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Mafia” ranks #107 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.8 — Great. The episode packs 57 scored jokes at 2.5 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Dwight landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: 'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder, not 'mukduk.'
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: Criminals are like raccoons. You give them a taste of cat food, pretty soon, they'll be back for the whole cat.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: This Italian car. And I was driving it, and it kept telling me how much it needed oil. But I wouldn't give it any oil. And then, one day, it exploded. And it killed everyone.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Erin: You don't have anything in the afternoon. It just says, 'free play.'
Erin Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Oscar: Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, so there's not the usual balance between sane and others. The coalition for reason is extremely weak.
Oscar Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 57 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: The fundamentals of business. Mental is a part of the word. I have underlined it.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Because you're mental if you don't have a good time. You have to enjoy it. The fun is in it.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael: Small things... Peas, ball bearings, dimes.
Michael Misdirection Absurdist ★ Rewatch Meredith: I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet. He calls it an upper-decker.
Meredith Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael · Jim: What you people don't know about business I could fill a book with. Then do it. Write a book.
Michael: Over 1 billion sold. More than the Bible. I'm not surprised.
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Erin · Michael: Your schedule just says nine till noon is creative space. Do you know how creative space works?
Erin: You don't have anything in the afternoon. It just says, 'free play.'
Erin Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Michael: Sorry, crazy day. You're seeing how the sausage gets made. Come in the conference room, and I will show you a finished sausage.
Dwight: Jim's gone on his honeymoon. So I started borrowing his office to fart in. Then one day, I came in, and I just stayed.
Dwight Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Dwight: Think you're right. Definitely looks suspicious. And his southern italian heritage raises some flags.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational Michael · Dwight: There is no such thing as monsters. Mobsters are.
Dwight: More trunk space. Or should I say corpse space?
Dwight Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Michael · Dwight: Guys, I drive an SUV. Does that mean I'm in the mob? No, not that by itself.
Michael: And he also vaguely threatened me with testicular cancer.
Michael Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch Oscar: Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, so there's not the usual balance between sane and others. The coalition for reason is extremely weak.
Oscar Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Ryan: First of all, there's no such thing as 'the mafia.' What you have are specific families.
Ryan · Kevin: John Gotti, you idiot. It's a completely different name. What mobster would change his name from Gotti to Grotti?
Dwight: 'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder, not 'mukduk.'
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Too many different words coming at me from too many different sentences.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jim: Unless someone very close to us is in immediate physical danger, you should not be calling us.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Dwight: That is the stupidest thing you could do right now.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Dwight: Not only that, but if they find out you snitched, you get a dead horse's chopped-off head in your bed.
Dwight Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Dwight: Criminals are like raccoons. You give them a taste of cat food, pretty soon, they'll be back for the whole cat.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: Trust me, I have bullied a lot of people.
Dwight Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: If I'm gonna back you up, I need a weapon without drawing suspicion. So I'm a mechanic with a tire thing.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael · Dwight: Do you know how to use it? To change tires? No. But... it's metal. I could hit somebody.
Dwight: The bathroom checks out clean. Nothing behind the toilet except this roach motel.
Dwight Character Comedy Visual Gag Dwight: You want to separate the head from the thorax.
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Dwight: Hello, Mr. Halpert? I'm calling from The identity theft department at Capital One.
Dwight Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: I'll have linguini, red sauce on the side. If the sauce does not come on the side, I will send it back.
Michael · Waitress: I will have the gabba-gool. The what? The gabba-gool.
Dwight: Bring him the gabba-gool!
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: If the salad is on top, I send it back.
Michael Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Dwight · Oscar: I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar. I'm not like you. You would love jail.
Woman · Dwight: My battery's dead. I've got my kid. Can you please help? Yes, I can.
Woman Dwight Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: You got a leaky spark tube. So your car's totaled. You're just gonna want to get a refund on that.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight: I work exclusively on motorcycles.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Dwight: This Italian car. And I was driving it, and it kept telling me how much it needed oil. But I wouldn't give it any oil. And then, one day, it exploded. And it killed everyone.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Insurance Salesman · Dwight: Aren't you a mechanic? Why wouldn't you put oil in the car? It was before my technical training.
Dwight · Michael: It wasn't a snap decision. You were sitting there for an hour. Do you know what snap decision means? It means like this.
Kevin: I had to tell the hotel that it was a medical emergency. I chose massive coronary, because you told me that your dad had a bad heart.
Kevin Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jim Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael: What about this cash for clunkers thing?
Dwight: We have let Michael down. And it's 85% your fault.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational Dwight · Andy: Look at his life. Broke. Living in fear. No friends, dead end job. Some of that existed before.
Dwight Andy Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Andy: Are you saying that we surgically remove the fear center from Michael's brain?
Andy Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: If there is one thing I hate more than the mafia, it is a liar. I wish the mafia would go out and kill all the liars. And bury them in my yard.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: You suck! And I won't buy your stupid insurance.
Michael: You suck! And I won't buy your stupid insurance.
Dwight · Andy: We just told you he wasn't mafia so you wouldn't be scared. You successfully backed down the mob.
Oscar: Just to be clear, he backed down an insurance agent from Mutual of Harrisburg.
Oscar Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael: Coffee. Not from the kitchen. Stop and shop. If it's not stop and shop, I send it back.
Michael Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Michael: Coffee. Not from the kitchen. Stop and shop. If it's not stop and shop, I send it back. Large. If it's a medium, I send it back. If it's an extra-large, I send it back.
Michael Running Gag Character Comedy Callback Pam: Our credit card has been canceled, and we have to deal with that, and I really can't handle the fact that you're calling us here!
Pam Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: I will make that my top priority.
Pam Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Office
