When Michael takes over conflict resolution duties from HR, chaos ensues at Dunder Mifflin.
WAR
71
Wins Above Replacement
“Conflict Resolution” ranks #119 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.2 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Creed: Creed explains the 'distinct old man smell' by revealing he sprouts mung beans on damp paper towel in his desk drawer. 'Very nutritious, but they smell like death.'
Creed Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jim · Pam: Jim's voicemail to Pam about a 'doctor's appointment in the city' — revealed to be a meeting with Jan about the Stamford transfer.
Jim Pam Irony/Sarcasm Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Jim: Jim's nickel prank: gradually adding nickels to Dwight's handset until he got used to the weight, then removing them all so Dwight knocked himself in the head with the phone.
Jim Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Dwight: Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Michael · Toby: Michael's talking head: 'You will notice that not one of these complaints is against me.' Cut to: Toby revealing he has a separate folder for complaints against Michael — January through March alone.
Standout Moments
Creed: Creed explains the 'distinct old man smell' by revealing he sprouts mung beans on damp paper towel in his desk drawer. 'Very nutritious, but they smell like death.'
Creed Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jim: Jim's nickel prank: gradually adding nickels to Dwight's handset until he got used to the weight, then removing them all so Dwight knocked himself in the head with the phone.
Jim Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Jim · Pam: Jim's voicemail to Pam about a 'doctor's appointment in the city' — revealed to be a meeting with Jan about the Stamford transfer.
Jim Pam Irony/Sarcasm Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Pam: No. 'Cause I'm in a band. We really rock.
Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jim: We both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the Internet.
Jim Character Comedy Absurdist Pam: I don't want anyone there who has called me a hussy.
Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael: Yes, thanks. Fantastic Sams, Adult Cut Plus. Comes with a shampoo and blow-dry.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Michael · Dwight: Dwight wearing clown paint for his ID photo — 'What is on your face? Is that a disguise?' 'Clown paint.'
Dwight: Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael asking to borrow the photographer's tie for his ID photo.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Oscar: Oscar's meltdown: 'It's like child abuse! I say, if Jesus saw that, he'd freak out! He'd freak out, Toby! I mean, on so many levels!'
Oscar Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Michael: 'I forget, are you guys dating?' after learning Oscar and Angela are in a dispute.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael · Toby: Michael: 'What do you know about conflict resolution? Your answer to everything is to get divorced.'
Michael: Michael: 'In this office it is till death do us part. Assuming that we don't get downsized.'
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Michael: Michael holds up a book titled 'A Mediators Toolchest' — a visual gag of him having a novelty conflict resolution manual.
Michael: Michael doing a mock Asian accent: 'My Shaolin temple style defeats your monkey style.'
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Michael explaining lose-lose by saying 'You would both lose' — drawing out the explanation with comic earnestness.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Win-win is number four. And number five is win-win-win. The important difference here is with win-win-win, we all win. Me, too. I win for having successfully mediated a conflict at work.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Angela: Angela's defense of the baby poster: 'It makes me feel like the babies are the true artists, and God has a really cute sense of humor.'
Angela Character Comedy Absurdist Oscar: Oscar's counter-attack: 'It's kitsch. It's the opposite of art. It destroys art, it destroys souls.' Then: 'This is so much more offensive to me than hard-core porn.'
Oscar Escalation Character Comedy Michael: Michael's win-win solution: Angela makes the poster into a t-shirt, which Oscar wears — so he can never see it, and whenever she looks at him she can see it.
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael announces that Tuesdays/Thursdays is 'style three' — compromise — and 'it is not ideal.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Michael: Michael announces the answer is 'make the poster into a t-shirt' — his insane solution — and railroads everyone into accepting it.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Pam · Angela: Pam hand-delivers Angela's Save-the-Date — having not had her zip code — and Angela's talking head: 'It's not my taste.'
Pam Angela Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Toby: Michael creates a conflict with Toby over the complaints file, then uses 'win-lose' to force Toby to hand it over.
Toby · Dwight · Jim: Toby has a standing Friday 4pm appointment with Dwight to file grievances against Jim. The box labeled as a 'special file in New York' is just a box in Toby's office.
Creed: Creed's complaint: 'Creed is sick of looking at the redhead all day and wants a seat facing the receptionist.'
Creed Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Michael · Toby: Michael's talking head: 'You will notice that not one of these complaints is against me.' Cut to: Toby revealing he has a separate folder for complaints against Michael — January through March alone.
Michael: Michael: 'I love this place, and it pains me to see all of the negativity festering.' — Delivered as he's about to tear open a box of complaints and force everyone to confront them.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael · Phyllis: 'That's what she said.' — Michael reflexively using his catchphrase after Phyllis says 'You already did me.'
Toby · Michael: Toby: 'Redacted' just means whoever complained came to me later and withdrew it. There were a bunch of complaints about Dwight redacted about six months ago.
Toby Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Pam: Pam's complaint — 'Does she have to plan her wedding on office time? Shouldn't she do that at home?' — was already withdrawn, but Michael reads it aloud anyway.
Pam: Pam's talking head: 'I have this kind of big secret about Angela. And I've been really nice to her, and I haven't told anyone, and... What the hell!'
Pam Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Kelly · Ryan · Michael: Kelly: 'Ryan never returns my calls.' Michael: 'Join the club.' Ryan: 'My voicemail's real spotty sometimes.'
Kelly · Toby: Kelly: 'I didn't file a complaint. I was just talking.' Toby: 'To your HR representative.' Kelly: 'To my friend, I thought.'
Dwight · Meredith: Dwight attempts to kiss Meredith (revealed complaint), then insists 'Redact it. Redact it.' while Meredith muses 'I'm not actually making a formal complaint. I just really think we should talk about it.'
Dwight · Toby: Dwight: 'Question. When a name is withdrawn, does that also apply to the permanent misbehavior file in New York?' Toby: 'Sure.' — Dwight believing in the fictional 'permanent file in New York.'
Dwight Toby Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Stanley · Michael: 'Someone complained that the men's room is whites only.' Stanley: 'I didn't say that.' 'Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door.'
Stanley · Phyllis: Stanley says Phyllis cries too much and it bugs him. Phyllis: 'Stanley and I are close, too. We sit close.'
Jim · Pam: Jim asks about Roy's opinion on Pam's feelings. Pam: 'I try not to bother him about this kind of stuff.' Jim: 'You mean, like your thoughts and feelings.' Pam: 'Yeah.'
Jim Pam Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Jim · Pam: Jim and Pam's parking space non-resolution: 'I know you keep saying it's your space even though there's no assigned parking, but I keep forgetting.' 'Yes, that's the problem.' 'I guess so.' 'Okay. Well, all settled then.'
Jim Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Ryan: Ryan: 'I don't like you.' — delivered directly to Michael.
Ryan Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael · Kevin · Angela: Michael's solution to Kevin making sexually suggestive remarks to Angela: Angela must make sexually suggestive remarks to Kevin that will make HIM uncomfortable. 'I accept your decision.'
Jim: Jim suggests he and Dwight take their ID photo together to 'save time' — implying they could start carpooling.
Jim Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dwight: Dwight refuses to smile for his ID photo. 'Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael · Dwight: Dwight's ID badge lists his middle name as 'Fart' instead of 'Kurt.' Michael narrates this to camera: 'What did I write?'
Dwight · Toby: Dwight discovers Toby gave Jim the box of grievances. 'What box?' — Dwight's four years of complaints revealed to be sitting in an office box all along.
Dwight Toby Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: Dwight's immediate nuclear ultimatum: 'I cannot work with Jim anymore. Either he goes or I go. You choose! Him or me!'
Dwight Escalation Character Comedy Dwight: Dwight shows Jim a Stamford sales manager posting. 'Want me to call Jan and tell her you're interested? I could put in a good word for you 'cause I'll still be working here.'
Dwight Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight leading the office in chanting 'Transfer! Transfer! Transfer!' to get Jim moved to Stamford.
Dwight Escalation Character Comedy Office: The entire office chants 'Transfer! Transfer! Transfer!' when learning Jim might leave
Office Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael's cage match theory: 'Cage matches? Yeah, they work. How could they not work? If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage.'
Michael · Jim · Dwight: Jim's grievances read aloud: crayons replacing pens, everyone calling Dwight 'Dwayne' for $5 each, a bloody glove planted in Dwight's desk with Jim claiming Dwight might be 'the real murderer.'
Jim · Dwight: Jim's prank: telling Dwight there's an abandoned infant in the women's room. 'When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.' 'Gag.'
Jim: Jim's macro prank: every time Dwight typed his name, it printed 'diapers.'
Jim Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jim: Jim's desk prank: moving it one inch closer to the copier every time Dwight went to the bathroom. 'And that's how I spent my entire day, that day.'
Jim Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jim: Jim's talking head reflection: 'You know, these actually don't sound that funny, one after another. But he does deserve it, though.'
Jim Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael's shiatsu massage monologue: describes it as painful, people throw up, 'But the next day they feel great. I've never had one. They sound awful.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jim · Dwight: Jim and Dwight's shared talking head about whether Stamford would be good: 'It's a good market. Higher volume.' Dwight: 'Maybe we should both go.' Jim: 'I have a girlfriend.' Dwight: 'Sure you do, Dwight. Sure.'
Jim Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael bribes the photographer to stay for a group photo by offering $20, but then has to pay another $20 for a second attempt.
Michael: The group photo attempt — Michael announces 'we resolved a lot today, think happy thoughts' — reaction shot of the miserable group.
Roy · Pam: Roy is revealed to have been the one who complained about Pam planning her wedding at the office — not Angela. 'I didn't know that Toby was going to write it down.'
Roy Pam Misdirection Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael's Photoshop rescue of the terrible group photo: 'I'm sort of an expert at Photoshop, so it turned out fine in the end.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Michael's voiceover: 'It was really hard getting a good picture of 15 people. He would not give me a discount, and eight tries added up.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Michael · Photographer: Photographer trick: Michael says 'One, two...' and takes the photo without saying 'three', catching the group off guard
Michael: Michael's closing monologue: 'And that is why the idea of a cage match is so universally appealing. But here's the thing about cage matches, sometimes you have to open the cage. And that is something that Toby will never understand.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Top Episodes — The Office
