As Kevin and the rest of the crew worry about Kevin's medical test results to see whether or not he has skin cancer, Michael gets angry because no one seems to have fun at the birthday party he threw for himself. Later, Michael takes everyone out to the skating rink to get their minds off of Kevin's possible complications, and Pam and Jim go to the supermarket to pick up some presents for Kevin.
WAR
60.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Michaels Birthday” ranks #24 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 85.2 — Elite. The episode packs 58 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kelly: I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister's.
Kelly Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Dwight: Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food, I can drive a taxi, I can and do cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist. Because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Michael: When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And I got a really bad rash from the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony and I had to go inside. And my mother was rubbing cream on me for probably three hours and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: That's terrible news for both of us.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 58 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael · Ryan: Phil recruited me to sell these cards, and now I am recruiting you. Who is this guy again? Don't worry about Phil. He drives a Corvette. He's doing just fine.
Michael · Ryan: These things sell themselves. Who uses calling cards anymore?
Ryan · Michael: It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme. Yes, thank you. You will get rich quick. We all will.
Michael: When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Phil has recruited me and another guy. Now we are getting three people each. The more people that get involved, the more people who are investing, the more money we're all gonna make. It's not a pyramid scheme.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: It is a... It's not even a scheme, per se. It's...
Michael Character Comedy Awkward Silence Michael: I have to go make a call.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat Michael: I share my birthday with Eva Longoria. So, I have a perfect icebreaker if I ever meet Teri Hatcher.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael · Jim: You're late. Thank you, it's noon. But, I forgive you. Because doth, it is my birthday.
Jim: Michael's birthday. It's pretty fun to watch, actually. He gets very excited and then he eats a lot of cake. And then he runs around the office. And then he has a sugar crash in the afternoon. And then he falls asleep. And that's when we get our work done.
Jim Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael: It is from Italy. Actually, Bulgaria. So...
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection Michael · Dwight: Good luck. One-of-a-kind. EBay.
Michael: They've been working 24l7, all day, yesterday.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael · Dwight: Let's get the party started. Let's get the party started. Not the way I taught you.
Angela · Michael: When should we bring out the cake, 1:00 or 1:30? 1:00 is good. 1:30.
Angela · Michael: Where do we get those? Not my problem.
Angela · Dwight: Michael wants a stripper gram? Yes, but he doesn't want to know when or whom.
Michael · Jan: Really? 'Cause I thought we had the same birthday.
Michael Jan Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · cameraman: Am I on camera? Nope. Totally private. You can say whatever is in your heart.
Michael: You can take a five if you want.
Michael Awkward Silence Cringe/Discomfort Kelly: I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister's.
Kelly Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Michael: Well, I guess I forgot to give you a donut.
Oscar: You don't know it's going to be okay. Don't give him false hope.
Oscar Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Jim · delivery person: I can sign for it. Oh, thanks.
Michael: When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And I got a really bad rash from the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony and I had to go inside. And my mother was rubbing cream on me for probably three hours and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight · Michael: It's your favorite song. Yeah, when it's on the radio.
Michael: My birthday blows. Nobody even signed my birthday poster. Apparently, my mother is the only one who cares enough to send me anything.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dwight · Michael: I probably care more than she does. You're making it worse.
Michael: I bet Luke Perry's friends don't treat him like this.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Pam: If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Europe. And South America. And the Grand Canyon. And I would want to see the Pacific Ocean. It would be a pretty busy week.
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Observational ★ Rewatch Dwight: The exact moment when you emerged from your mother's vaginal canal.
Dwight Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: There is a tradition that the Hebrews have of hoisting the birthday boy up on a chair.
Jim · Pam: I feel like we should go get Kevin something. Do you think we can sneak out of here? Maybe, but we're gonna need somebody to create a diversion and...
Jim Pam Visual Gag Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Delivery guy: Okay, that is not an 8-foot sub. We don't make an 8-foot sub. This is eight 1-foot subs.
Dwight: Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food, I can drive a taxi, I can and do cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist. Because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Michael · Stanley: Baloney, tomato and ketchup. The best. These are all the same. Yes.
Michael: Get whatever you want. And choke on it.
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Michael: When I was 16, I was supposed to go out on a date with a girl named Julie. But there was another Michael in the class that she apparently thought the date was with. So she went out with him on my birthday. And she got him a cake at the restaurant, and it wasn't even his birthday. But I heard about it the next day in school. So, that was the worst birthday I think I ever had.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jim: Sixty-nine Cup of Noodles. Which we realize sounds crass, but it is his favorite number. And his favorite lunch.
Jim Character Comedy Observational Michael · Kevin: Someone ate three feet of that thing? Hell, yeah.
Angela · Michael: But don't expect any cookie. But what if I'm hungry? No cookie.
Jim · Pam: You use fabric softener? Yeah. You don't? No, I do.
Jim Pam Awkward Silence Observational Michael · Kevin: Kevin, respect the birthday, please? No. No, not yet.
Michael · Pam: I asked for trick candles. Pam was supposed to get them. Sorry. Okay. Well, when she comes back we'll do it again.
Michael Pam Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Oscar: No one cares about your birthday. Kevin's waiting to hear if he has skin cancer.
Oscar Deadpan/Understatement Michael: That's terrible news for both of us.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Jim: Luke, this is your father. Come set the table for dinner.
Jim Absurdist Character Comedy Pam · Store employee: Jim Halpert, price check on fabric softener. The kind with the cute... Ma'am, please don't touch that. That is not a toy.
Michael: It turns out that 98% of people with skin cancer fully recover. Yeah, but it's not brain cancer, and it shouldn't stop us from having fun.
Kevin · Michael: Well the doctor said a combination of interferon and Dacarbazine. And laughter also.
Michael · Toby: I didn't even invite you to my birthday party. I work here. 'I work here.'
Michael: And don't say the bathroom, because I kicked in all the stalls.
Michael Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: How dare you, sir. You are gross.
Michael: I thought about playing in the NHL, but you're on the road so much. You get no time to spend with your wife and kids. And I really want a wife and kids.
Michael: Those things are like ticking time-bags.
Michael Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Michael: Well, apparently, in the medicine community, 'negative' means 'good,' which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.
Michael Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Dwight: 'From Dwight. Number One.' Thank you, Dwight. That's great.
Kevin: Michael's birthday was actually pretty cool. It was a good day. I don't know. It was a good day.
Kevin Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch ⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 05:10-05:30 where Michael just takes a break instead of sharing anything heartfelt as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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