China

Dwight:Dwight announces he will train his feet to have the dexterity of a chimp through 20 minutes of daily practice

Dwight:Dwight offers to write an apology letter using only his feet, then laboriously types 'D... E... A...' with his toes

Dwight:'Thank you, hands. Nothing else in the universe can do what you do.'

Dwight:'It's part of my green initiative. And by green, I mean money.'

Michael:Michael enters saying 'China.' repeatedly, apparently having just read a dentist waiting room magazine

Michael:'China is a sleeping dragon that is just beginning to stir.'

Michael:'That's the only one I could reach and I read it and I read it again.'

Michael:'Not America's number two. England is number two. China should be like eight.'

Andy · Darryl:Andy texts Darryl to inform him that he and Michael are wearing the same tie

Darryl:'There was a time when the only people who texted you were people you wanted to text you. Girls. They'd all say the same thing: "I'm comin' over, baby." And I would text back. "BTB."'

Dwight:'Is that not good enough for your anus? Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.'

Dwight · Pam:'Maybe you can unspool a little more each time you need to...' 'Don't tell me how to do my business.'

Pam · Dwight:'Which is you.' / 'Which is you is not a sentence. I disagree with.'

Dwight:'Then you're not gonna talk to the new building owner, which is a shame, 'cause I hear he's a reasonable guy.'

Nate · Pam:Nate's cover story for Dwight: 'Dwight's being questioned by the police in connection with a string of dognappings'

Nate · Pam:Nate tells Pam (on hold): 'Dwight's being questioned by the police in connection with a string of dognappings...'

Dwight:Dwight's fake-out capitulation speech: 'This isn't just a business, this is a home. And I'd much rather see a smile from Kevin than save hundreds on plumbing and electricity.'

Michael:'According to the Internet, the tallest man in the world is Chinese. So much for keeping our secrets up high.'

Michael · Unknown Employee:'Open your eyes.' / 'You never told us to close them.'

Michael:Michael's vision of a China-dominated future: 'Where forks are irrelevant. And where every man, woman and child is expected to learn how to play the cello.'

Kevin:Kevin suggests 'an antacid that you only take once a week' as America's big idea to beat China

Michael · Unknown:Michael counter-proposes 'an acid pill that you take once every six weeks' / 'Why not go one for the year?' / 'It's too big a pill to swallow.'

Creed:Creed proposes: 'What if we all get together and help each other, hire a new guy and then we all kill him but first we take out a $100,000 life insurance policy?'

Unknown · Unknown Employee:'I don't know what the **** that was.' / 'I say we bomb 'em.'

Jim:Jim texts 'Are you watching this?' to someone while sitting in the same room — presumably a group chat or another coworker

Michael:'Suck it, Oscar.'

Jim:'On the plus side, all this worrying about China has made you smarter than Oscar.'

Pam:Pam's confessional about the roach billboard Dwight put on the building: 'So this building can get uglier. I will not work in a roach billboard.'

Michael · Pam:Michael deflects Pam's complaint to himself: 'Absolutely. Pam, this is exactly why I hired you. Handle it.'

Pam · Dwight:Pam's threat: 'We can move out.' — long pause — then Dwight's shocked: 'Really?'

Pam:Pam announces she's been playing zombie soccer for two hours — then immediately corrects herself: she went to scout offices

Kevin:Kevin asks about the nail salon: 'Is the nail place Koreans or whites?' — treating this as a dealbreaker factor

Michael · Oscar:Michael's computer advice: 'Try control P.' 'That's print.' 'Not if the printer isn't hooked up.' 'You're making very dangerous assumptions.'

Jim:Talking head: 'Around here, Oscar is known as "actually", because he will insert himself into any conversation to add facts or correct grammar.'

Jim:'He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug gay Mexican.'

Andy · Darryl:Andy texts Darryl 'Megan Fox?' with a question mark

Darryl · Andy:Darryl: 'You're one bad text away from gettin' blocked.' Andy: 'Yes, but one good text away from a high five.' / 'You accept these terms?' / 'It's on.'

Dwight · Unknown Employee:Dwight asks for a building wish list. Someone wishes for 'a million wishes.' Dwight: 'No, I'm not a genie.'

Dwight · Unknown Employee:Dwight asks the office for their new-building wish list: 'I wish for a million wishes.' Dwight: 'No, I'm not a genie, I'm talking of...' Someone: 'Then see you later, building.'

Jim:Jim warns Michael about Oscar's coffee invitation: 'He's gonna try to trip you up. And when he does, boom, it's awful. I don't bring up the Tour de France around him. And then he'll smugly pay the check and make you feel so small.'

Michael · Jim:Michael's study plan: 'I'll just learn about China and science and geography and math and literary. No politics?' / 'I'm good on that.' / 'California is bankrupt. And California, California.'

Dwight · Pam · Jim:'Parley. My office. Five minutes.' / 'Parlay?' / 'Pirate code. He wants to meet.' / 'So everyone here knows pirate code?' / 'I understand it. I can't speak it.'

Dwight · Jim:Dwight's negotiation offer: 'I will stop watering down the soap.' / 'You've been watering down the soap?' / 'Why do you even need soap? Are you that bad in the bathroom?'

Dwight:Dwight's prophecy: 'It's one of the most stressful things you can do in life. You'll just take it out on your kid. Jim will turn to the drink. The family will fall apart. And 25 years from now, Cece will become world famous for stripping.'

Michael · Unknown:Michael quiz prep: 'Where is Tibet?' / 'Pass.' / 'When was China founded?' / 'Pass.' / 'Who is Mao?' / 'Life line.'

Michael:'I could talk about boobs. I bet he knows nothing about boobs.'

Michael · Jim:Michael's Rocky II quote: 'I must tell you something.' Jim: 'It's from Rocky II.'

Jim · Michael:'This guy doesn't just want to win, he wants to bury you. He wants to humiliate you.' Michael: 'Wait, how long is this going to take? I'm a quarter of the way through.'

Dwight · Jim:Dwight and Jim discover there is no building at the address on the brochure — 'There's no building.' / 'This can only mean one thing.' / 'Building's underground.' / 'She was lying.'

Dwight · Jim · Pam (other):Pam #2 appears and says 'I'm Pam.' Dwight refuses to believe it: 'You're not.' / 'Sorry, we have a colleague with the same name.' / 'That's funny.' / 'You're not a liar too?'

Dwight:'I can't wait to do to Pam what I just did to Pam.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight confronts Pam about the office search: 'I'm the only one here you haven't asked about the new office.' / 'I know. Because you're the reason we're moving.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight asks about square footage and number of offices; Pam can't answer; Dwight: 'That's the problem. You only have one sheet.'

Dwight:'That's the problem. You only have one sheet.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight asks what the first thing Pam will do in the new office is. She says she'll walk down the hall and say 'I can't believe this is real, but it is.'

Pam:Pam confesses she fabricated the office brochure: 'I pulled those pictures off the Internet. It's just this office administrator thing, I don't want to... Fail.'

Michael · Oscar:Michael at coffee with Oscar: 'Did you know that China has a new missile that can sink a US naval carrier 900 miles off the coast?' / 'We have missiles too.'

Michael:'I wasn't here. It's a pretty common saying. You may want to log it away for future use.'

Michael · Oscar:Oscar argues China is just a 'boogeyman' and references Japan in the 1980s; Michael counters with manufacturing stats: '17% in China vs. 8% in the US.' Oscar pivots to the information sector; Michael pauses — then clearly has no comeback.

Michael · Oscar:Michael at coffee: 'China has been loaning us billions upon billions of dollars. We are going to be owing them for the rest of our lives and they will control us.' Oscar: 'Actually, we're in a mild recession...'

Michael · Oscar:Michael vs. Oscar debate reaches genuine deadlock: Michael cites 17% vs 8% manufacturing growth; Oscar counters with information sector relevance; Michael clearly knows more than expected

Pam · Dwight:Pam uses building code article 19 to legally force Dwight to restore all amenities: 'No more cutting the tampons in two and no more tampering with the toilet paper.'

Dwight:Dwight: 'I see I've underestimated you and I didn't think that was possible.' / 'Re-ply the paper.' / 'I don't think it goes that way.' / 'Re-ply it!'

Michael:Michael's coffee outro monologue: 'Two men. One white, one Latino. A boss and a money cruncher. I could fire you.'

Michael:Michael's closing speech: 'I am talking about freedom. About choice. America... I don't think you need to worry, because if you want to be China, you will. If you don't, that's fine. That, my friend, is your victory.'

Michael · Oscar:Michael's conclusion: 'As long as people like you and me don't stop talking... nobody can stop the USA.' Oscar: 'Right.' Michael: 'I am talking about freedom. About choice. America...'

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'A lot of people say that if you dig long and hard enough, you will get to China... but they don't tell you that if you dig long enough and hard enough in a conversation, you get to a friend.'

Michael:Michael's final metaphor: 'A lot of people say if you dig long and hard enough, you will get to China... but they don't tell you that if you dig long enough and hard enough in a conversation, you get to a friend.'

Michael:'So here is to conversation. Raise your cups on high. Case closed.'

Oscar:Oscar's reaction after Michael leaves: 'That wasn't what we were... That wasn't the whole...' — trails off, defeated.

Dwight:Dwight's vampire confessional: 'They say the best vampires don't bleed their victims dry, but give them the strength so that they can bounce back only to be fed on again. I spared Pam and I might feast off of her profits for years to come.'

Andy · Darryl:Darryl receives Andy's text: 'Come to parking lot. Crazy pigeon action.'

Andy · Darryl:Darryl goes to the parking lot, Andy warns him he'll scare the pigeons away, and the final image is presumably two men crouched watching pigeons