Goodbye Toby

Jim · Dwight:Jim pairs Dwight's cell phone to his own headset and begins taking Dwight's calls as 'Dwight Schrute'

Jim · Caller:A caller says 'You sound sexy' and Jim-as-Dwight replies 'Thank you. I've been working out.'

Jim · Dwight:Dwight demands Jim's earpiece; Jim refuses: 'I can't do that. Unsanitary.'

Jim · Dwight:Jim forwards Dwight's desk phone to his own; answers: 'This is Dwight.' Then aside: 'And I forwarded his desk phone to mine.' A caller says 'Oh hello, mater. Good news, I've married. Tell fater.' Jim: 'Such a nice woman.'

Jim · Dwight:'Oh hello, mater. Good news, I've married. Tell fater.' / Jim: 'Such a nice woman.'

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'I couldn't sleep last night. I came in extra early. So much energy... I just have a feeling that today is one of those days.'

Michael · Kelly:Michael greets Kelly instead of Toby: 'Good morning, Kelly. I can't believe this is your last day. How do you feel?'

Michael:Michael compares Toby's going-away party to a New Orleans funeral parade, then says: 'If the devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?'

Angela · Michael:Angela asks 'Do you mean leaves as in dies?' after Michael's New Orleans funeral parade reference

Michael:Michael reveals he's been saving $50/year birthday checks from his grandmother in his shoe — 'And lately she has been sending me, like, nine or ten checks a year'

Michael:Michael: 'I want a party that makes me feel like I'm flying through the air without this ugly weight holding me down... I want an antigravity machine. I saw it in a movie. You drink a potion and then you just start floating all around.'

Phyllis:Phyllis sarcastically: 'So how much antigravity potion do you want?'

Pam · Jim:Pam announces she got into the Pratt School of Design, then admits: 'I didn't read it carefully. I just saw congratulations and skimmed the list. I saw my name, I came in here to tell you and get a snack. Busy morning.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'And that is the first time I've ever used the word perfect in here.'

Stanley · Michael · Dwight:Stanley: 'Oh, strike one. I hate her already.' Michael: 'I hate her too.' Dwight: 'Why do you hate her?' Michael: 'Because she...stinks...with her ways and her...head.'

Dwight:Dwight, after Michael chides him for agreeing without thinking: 'Although I will agree that her head is weird.'

Michael · Dwight:Michael and Dwight decide to sell Holly an 'elevator pass.' Dwight: 'But our elevator doesn't require a...' Michael: 'Exactly.'

Michael:Michael calls to rent 'antigravity machines'; receptionist offers to connect to antidepressants

Michael · Toby · Holly:Holly introduces herself; Michael: 'Oh hey, do you still work here?' to Toby

Michael · Holly:Michael to Holly: 'My job is to make the office fun, your job is to make the office lame. And we have an eternal struggle, you and I. And only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert... I'm gonna win.'

Holly · Michael:Holly to Michael: 'Yeah, I know what you mean. I nearly fell asleep when he gave me a tour of the files.'

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider is that not all monsters are bad. Like E.T. Is Holly our extraterrestrial? Maybe. Or maybe she's just an awesome woman from this planet.'

Michael · Holly · Kevin:Michael tells Holly that Kevin is 'here on a special work program. He's slow, you know, in his brain.' Holly responds: 'Oh, good for you guys.'

Kevin · Holly:Kevin offers Holly M&Ms: 'I keep them here at my desk so that everybody doesn't take them.' Holly: 'Well, that is a very safe place for them.'

Michael:Michael: 'You know, if we hung Holly from the ceiling, we'd have to kiss underneath of her.'

Michael:Michael: 'Are you real, or are you a Hollygram?'

Michael:Michael to Holly: 'What is your commute like? How long does it take to get in? You know, I should make you a mix. Do you have a CD player?'

Toby · Michael:Toby shows Michael a group photo: 'It's a photo of everyone in the office so you can take it to Costa Rica.' Michael is not in the photo. Toby: 'Well, I was taking the picture.'

Jim · David Wallace:Jim to David Wallace: 'Congratulations.' Wallace: 'Don't interrupt. Congratulations on doing your job.'

Michael · Jim:Michael on making a CD mix for Holly, explaining it works 'on two levels': 'Welcome to Scranton' and 'I love you.'

Michael · Jim:Michael: 'Was that U2?' Jim: 'Yes.' Michael: '...You don't love Holly.'

Michael:Michael: 'It was love at first see with my ears.'

Jim:Jim tells Michael to court Holly, then gets lost describing his own history with Pam: 'First time we joked around was at my desk. And the first meal we ever had was...in the break room, actually. We were at two separate tables and I remember that.'

Andy · Phyllis:Andy reveals he's going to propose to Angela tonight; Phyllis's reaction is 'Holy crap!'

Holly · Kevin:Holly helps Kevin at the vending machine — he has 75 cents, she explains what he can get from the 'top row', and speaks to him with extreme patience

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'I am totally gonna bang Holly! She is cute and helpful and she really seems into me.'

Jim:Jim leaves a message for Ryan: 'I don't know what you got lately, but I really don't care because you're trying to get rid of me... I bet you think I don't care enough about this job to actually fight back, but you're wrong.'

Jim:Jim's second voicemail to Ryan: 'Totally disregard that last voice mail because you obviously have your hands tied.'

Holly:Holly explaining why she's on the floor: 'I tried to adjust the lumbar support on Toby's chair, and that made this up/down lever thing not work. And then I took the whole chair apart, and...that is the story of me on the floor. It's pretty good, right? I'm gonna sell the movie rights.'

Michael · Holly:Michael and Holly do Yoda impressions while assembling the chair: 'Sit on floor and put together chair we will.' / 'Yo-da.' / 'Pass curvy metal piece you will.'

Michael · Holly:Michael: 'So you can't make my orgy?' pause 'Kidding.' pause 'Acting!' Holly: 'Acting!' Both: 'Lovitz.'

Michael:Michael's talking head about his exit interview prep: 'Toby has been cruisin' for a bruisin' for 12 years, and I am now his cruise director. And my name is Captain Bruisin'.'

Michael · Toby:Michael's exit interview opening: 'Of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.'

Michael · Toby:Michael's first exit interview question: a long dramatic pause, then: 'Who do you think you are?'

Michael · Toby:Michael's next question: extended pause then 'What gives...what...what gives you the right?'

Michael:Michael's follow-up question: 'What gives... What... What gives you the right?'

Michael · Toby:Michael reads aloud: 'What would you improve about Dunder Mifflin?' then says: 'I'll kill you.'

Michael · Toby:Michael gives Toby a box labeled 'Suck on this.' Michael: 'That is not even my handwriting.'

Michael:Michael: 'You know what that is? You know what that is? That is...a psyche. Psyche.'

Michael · Pam:Michael gives away his watch as his 'real gift' to Toby; Pam guesses 'Your watch?' before he says it. Michael: 'How did you know?' Pam: 'I just knew.'

Kelly:Ryan is being led away by police; Kelly: 'Oh my god. I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit and get my hair done. And then be like, Hi Ryan. And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison.'

Dwight:Dwight on Ryan's fraud arrest: 'The real crime, I think, was the beard.'

Michael · Holly:Holly comforts Michael about Ryan; Michael: 'I'm holding it together. I have a business to run. I'm cool.' Holly: 'No, hey, stop. You can let yourself be upset. He's your friend.'

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'Holly is sweet and simple. Like a lady baker. I would not be surprised to find out that she had worked in a bakery before coming here. She has that kind of warmth. I'm pretty sure she's baked on a professional level.'

Kevin:Kevin runs toward and presumably jumps into the bouncy house at the party

Pam · Jim:Jim and Pam: 'Is Jim gonna propose tonight? He is, isn't he? No, he's not. Is he?'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam exchange: 'It was easy to get in, but impossible to rise up. That's what she...' 'A lot of places are like that.'

Dwight · Michael · Holly:Dwight has put a raccoon in Holly's car as 'playful hazing.' Holly runs away screaming; Michael: 'There is a raccoon in the car, Dwight!' Dwight: 'No, there's not.'

Michael:Michael's speech about Holly: 'Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II.'

Dwight:During Michael's heartfelt speech to Holly, Dwight in background: 'It's not rabid.'

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'Well, Jan didn't believe in showing affection, so sometimes I don't know how to react when a girl touches me. I like it.'

Kevin · Holly:Kevin drives his own car to the store. Holly is surprised. Kevin confirms: 'Yup, this is my car.' Holly: 'Do you drive your own car?' Kevin: 'Yep, just like you.' Holly: 'Okay, bye.' Kevin: 'Bye.'

Darryl:Darryl's talking head: 'I'm really proud of you.' — after watching Kevin drive away

Michael:Michael's song parody credits: 'I have done things like... Beers in heaven. Classic. Or Total eclipse of the fart. Not my favorite, but...'

Michael:Michael's party speech: 'Now, a lot of you know that I am an accomplished songwriter. Song parody writer. I have done things like Beers in Heaven. Classic. Or Total Eclipse of the Fart.'

Michael · Kelly · Angela:Michael performs 'Goodbye, Toby' to the tune of 'Goodbye Stranger' by Supertramp; coworkers give confessionals during the song

Michael · Holly:Michael to Holly: 'Someday I would love to hear Beers in Heaven.' Holly: 'Oh, okay. Yeah.' Michael: 'Well, actually, too soon. It's...very sexual.'

Kevin · Jan · Michael:Kevin calls Michael to the supermarket: there's Jan, very pregnant. Kevin: 'I think you kids have a lot to catch up on.'

Michael:Michael upon seeing Jan pregnant: 'Are you nauseous? Do you have cravings? You never touched my Propecia or my Accutane?'

Michael · Jan:Michael: 'Well, okay. So it's not mine, and it's not somebody else's, so...I know the whole toilet seat thing is a myth, so... I went to a sperm bank.'

Michael:Jan explains she went to a sperm bank while they were dating. Michael: 'I know the whole toilet seat thing is a myth, so...'

Michael · Jan:Michael: 'When we were going out, you'd rather have somebody else's sperm than mine?' Jan: 'No, no. It's not just any sperm bank...it's right next to that little breakfast place in the city where you can draw on the tables.' Michael: 'IHOP.'

Michael · Jan:Michael can't understand why Jan used a sperm bank instead of him: 'You'd rather have somebody else's sperm than mine?' Jan: 'No, no, no. It's not just any sperm bank. It's a really, really great place. It's amazing, actually. I'm gonna bring you the catalogue.'

Jan · Michael:Jan: 'It's right next to that little breakfast place that you like in the city where you can draw on the tables.' Michael: 'Ihop.'

Jan:Jan: 'If I was 22 and had lots of time to have lots of children, then sure, let's let Michael have a shot at one. But honestly, I need to make this one count.'

Jan:Jan: 'I usually, you know, use a foam noodle instead of a partner' in lamaze class

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'My whole life, I have known two things. I love sex. And I want to have kids. And I always thought those two things would go hand in hand. But now I think it might be one or the other.'

Phyllis:Phyllis to Michael after the party: 'Well, I hope you had fun today. 'Cause you're never ever throwing a party again.'

Andy · Angela:Andy proposes to Angela with his parents present ('Andrew and Ellen Bernard, thank you for sharing this joyous moment'), full PA announcement, then asks her to 'join me onstage'; she doesn't move; he says 'Okay then I will come to you, my flower.' She says 'okay' into the mic barely audibly.

Andy:Andy: 'Damn it!' — trips or stumbles going toward Angela to propose

Andy · Angela:Andy's proposal: 'Angela, will you do me the honor of giving me your tiny hand in marriage?'

Andy:Andy's talking head: 'I've been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years. Because you don't know when you're gonna meet the right girl and the moment's gonna be right.'

Kelly · Andy:Kelly runs up to Andy: 'Can I be your bridesmaid?' Andy: 'No.'

Andy · Jim:Andy to Jim: 'Tuna! I'm engaged!' Jim: 'I know. That's awesome, man. That's great.' Andy: 'Mr. Andrew Bernard. It's got a nice ring to it.'

Meredith · Michael · Holly · Pam:Meredith takes photo: 'Oh let's do it again. Pam, your smile is weird.' Pam: 'It's digital, so just take as many as you want.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I don't know, I just...I really thought Jim was gonna propose tonight.'

Holly:Holly's end-of-day talking head: 'Well, I can see Andy proposing to Angela. I can also see him proposing to Oscar. So...'

Michael · Holly:Michael spontaneously offers to go to the diner with Holly for pie: 'I'll go to the diner with you.' Holly: 'That would be great.' Michael: 'Yeah, we can go eat pie. I love pie.' Holly: 'Me too.'

Michael · Holly:Michael asks Holly to get dessert. Holly suggests the Glider Diner. Michael: 'I'll go to the diner with you.' Holly: 'I love pie.' Michael: 'Me too.'

Michael · Toby:Toby's goodbye to Michael; Michael shows up with a security badge: 'Really, Michael?' Michael: 'Sorry, corporate policy.' Toby: 'It's not.' Michael: 'You might take something.'

Holly:Holly's goodbye: 'I gotta buckle him in.' (referring to her dog/pet in the car)

Michael:Michael's voicemail to Jan: 'Hi Jan, it's Michael. I just...I want to let you know that I am going to go to your lamaze class tomorrow. And if there are any details you need to fill me in on, like...what, exactly, lamaze is, that would be great.'

Michael · Toby:Toby's departure triggers some kind of office alarm. Toby and Michael both look confused.

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'I am going to be...kind of a daddy.'

Phyllis:Phyllis's talking head: 'Party planning's a real high. Like a runner's high.' Then she sees something off-screen at the party and screams 'OH MY GOD!'