Dwight's loyalty to Michael is tested when he finds a new hero in Charles. Meanwhile, Andy tries to provide for all of Jim's emotional needs.
WAR
48.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Heavy Competition” ranks #78 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.4 — Elite. The episode packs 56 scored jokes at 2.6 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Dwight landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: I color-code all my info. I wrote 'gay son' in green. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means, 'Orange you glad you didn't bring it up?' Most colors mean, 'Don't say it.'
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Dwight: I hit a bear. He's technically fine. I imagine the true horror will be when he wakes up in a zoo.
Dwight Absurdist Dark/Subversive Michael: And the great tragedy of the Civil War is that brother fought against brother. For what? What purpose did that serve, apart from abolishing slavery? In that case, war was the right choice.
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection Michael: I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, okay? I don't know how they did it. They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel. I don't know!
Michael Escalation Character Comedy Callback Dwight: When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation All Jokes — 56 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jim: Turns out there's no limit to the number of cheese puffs you can throw at someone's face.
Jim Observational Deadpan/Understatement Pam: We're getting pretty good at it.
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Observational Jim: Several years. Wait, no, that can't be right. No, timeline's messy.
Jim Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jim: the haunted graveyard of their love
Jim Wordplay/Pun Observational Wedding Singer: Trust me, you will not be walking, you will be boogying.
Jim · Pam: $9,000. I don't know, it seems like a lot for an a cappella group from a college we never went to.
Jim Pam Observational Deadpan/Understatement Dwight: These sleeves are cutting off my circulation. There's not enough blood getting to my hands.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Dwight: Doesn't Charles know he's compromising my attack readiness? It's not a dress code. It's a death sentence.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Dwight: When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Dwight: And in that chaos, I soared.
Dwight Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael · Ryan: It's for your trouble. I don't need $6 to help a friend. No, no, listen, as a friend, I want you to have it.
Michael · Ryan: But don't forget, you owe me $10. That was four years ago. Why don't you let it go?
Jim: It's so scary how right the things you're saying are. And you're coming at it with almost no knowledge, so of course I trust your opinion on this.
Jim Irony/Sarcasm Observational Andy: I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.
Andy Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Michael: Also, try to discuss it over Indian food, and try to mention how you distrust women.
Pam · Michael · Ryan: I'm not gonna do that. That is smart. That would not seem genuine. Ryan? I can get there.
Michael · Pam · Ryan: U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly. Your mama say you ugly, hey! Go Michael Scott Paper Company!
Ryan: I'm here. I'm part of this now.
Ryan Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort Dwight: I prefer to stand. Less blood clots.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Dwight: Like a wolf, thank you.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Michael: Oh, no, is it Mose? Did you put the cover on that well?
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: No, Mose is fine. I roped it off.
Dwight Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: Very cool, very Will Smith-esque
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Michael · Dwight: So is this for a movie that you're writing? No. Can I use it? No!
Michael: I'm not a barbarian.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Dwight: Is the cool new guy Charles? I've said too much. Is it Stanley?
Andy: I mean, I'm so happy. I'm so happy! Like, total freedom, you know?
Andy Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Andy: Let me be your traveling pants.
Andy Absurdist Character Comedy Jim · Andy: What'd you do that for? You know what I was doing. Okay. Totally.
Jim Andy Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Oh, my God, run, run! It's a setup! It's a setup! Dwight, run!
Michael Physical/Slapstick Escalation Michael: I understand nothing.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: It's like a girl says she'll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon.
Michael: I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, okay? I don't know how they did it. They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel. I don't know!
Michael Escalation Character Comedy Callback Andy · Kevin: When I look in the mirror, I don't like the face that looks back. Well, so what? Your body's a 10.
Michael: I am going to steal all of your clients, and then I am going to kill them in front of you.
Jim: And you have bad skin. Look, everyone, we're all making observations!
Jim Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Jim: I spent a month putting that Rolodex on his BlackBerry, which he now uses as a nightlight.
Jim Observational Character Comedy Dwight: I thought Michael Scott left the paper business after his nervous breakdown.
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jim: Master and apprentice pitted against one another for the fate of the greater Scranton area paper market. So it's not exactly like Highlander, but still.
Jim Observational Meta/Self-Referential Michael · Dwight: At what time? Noon. You have two seconds.
Dwight: I hit a bear. He's technically fine. I imagine the true horror will be when he wakes up in a zoo.
Dwight Absurdist Dark/Subversive Michael · Dwight: You? Me. What about our truce? I broke it. On purpose? Yes.
Dwight · Michael: And I knew that you would do that. Their meatball parm is their worst sandwich!
Dwight: I was just calling to see if Michael Scott Paper was meeting all of your paper needs, and how is Brenda, age four, ponytail, and Simon, age seven?
Dwight Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dwight: Schrute comma Dwight. And on the back he wrote, 'Great salesman, better friend.' 'Tall' and 'Beets.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Dwight: And say hello to Shari, who is your black wife.
Dwight Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael · Schofield: It is like you are buying software from Bill Gates. Are you saying you invented paper?
Andy: Jim Halpert is very upset and disturbed. I don't know if it was something you did, something you said, a look you gave him. Maybe it was nothing at all, but here's the deal, okay? It stops now!
Andy Character Comedy Escalation Callback Andy: Man, he got me so good.
Andy Character Comedy Reaction Beat Callback Michael: It's not the soil, it's the manure! Paper is the manure! On-time delivery is the soil!
Michael Character Comedy Escalation Callback Dwight Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Dwight: I barge, because I care.
Dwight Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Dwight: I color-code all my info. I wrote 'gay son' in green. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means, 'Orange you glad you didn't bring it up?' Most colors mean, 'Don't say it.'
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Dwight: How is Tom, the homosexual sophomore?
Dwight Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Callback Michael: And the great tragedy of the Civil War is that brother fought against brother. For what? What purpose did that serve, apart from abolishing slavery? In that case, war was the right choice.
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection ⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 11:00-12:00 as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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