Roy paced in the parking lot outside Dunder-Mifflin and then charged the building looking for Jim. When he spots Jim and rushed him, only to get pepper sprayed in the eyes by Dwight, who managed to spray everybody around him, as well.
WAR
92.5
Wins Above Replacement
“The Negotiation” ranks #14 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 93.5 — Elite. The episode packs 64 scored jokes at 3.4 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: Dwight's talking head: 'Every day for eight years, I have brought pepper spray into this office to protect myself and my fellow employees. And every day for eight years, people have laughed at me. Well. Who's laughing now?'
Dwight Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Darryl · Michael: Darryl tells Michael he needs to get his own raise: 'You gotta call your girl... and get paid. Show her who wears the pants in the relationship.'
Dwight: Dwight's talking head about real heroes: 'The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs, and get a distress call from the commissioner, and take off their glasses and change into capes, and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.'
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Darryl · Michael: Darryl coaches Michael before the Jan negotiation: 'Pippity poppity, give me the zoppity.' Michael repeats it enthusiastically.
Toby: Toby's talking head: 'This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case... when it inevitably goes to trial.'
Toby Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Standout Moments
Dwight: Dwight's talking head: 'Every day for eight years, I have brought pepper spray into this office to protect myself and my fellow employees. And every day for eight years, people have laughed at me. Well. Who's laughing now?'
Dwight Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: Dwight's talking head about real heroes: 'The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs, and get a distress call from the commissioner, and take off their glasses and change into capes, and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.'
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Darryl · Michael: Darryl tells Michael he needs to get his own raise: 'You gotta call your girl... and get paid. Show her who wears the pants in the relationship.'
All Jokes — 64 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Karen · Jim: Karen calls Jim 'agoraphobic' for preferring to watch a Phillies game on the couch over going out
Roy · Jim · Dwight · Pam: Roy charges at Jim in the office and Dwight pepper sprays him — the sound and chaos inferred from 'Roy! Ahh! Roy, don't! God!'
Michael: Michael: 'It was a crime of passion, Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.'
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Jan · Toby: Jan asks if Toby is there; Michael says 'No.' Toby quietly says 'I'm here, Jan.' — Michael has denied Toby's existence to Jan
Michael · Jan: Michael says 'Yeppers.' Jan: 'What did I tell you about yeppers?' Michael: 'I don't remember.' Jan: 'I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?' Michael: 'Ye--sh.'
Jim: Jim's talking head: 'I really don't want to talk about it... I just don't want to comment on what happened.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Pam: Pam's talking head: 'It sucked.' — one word summary of the attack
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Jim: Jim's second talking head: 'I guess... all things considered... I was lucky Dwight was there.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jim: Jim: 'And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray, and not the nunchucks or the throwing stars.'
Jim Character Comedy Callback Callback Jim · Dwight: Jim tries to thank Dwight; Dwight: 'Thank you not necessary, and thus not accepted.'
Jim Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jim · Dwight: Jim presents a gift; Dwight: 'Don't want it. Won't open it. Don't need it. Won't take it. Citizens do not accept prizes for being citizens.'
Andy: Andy recounts the Roy fight with breathless excitement: 'All of a sudden — bam! Roy goes down, and Dwight's standing there like an action hero.'
Andy Character Comedy Escalation Michael: Michael explaining his negotiation research: 'Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael · Dwight: Michael demonstrates 'dominant physical position' in negotiation: leaning back and whispering so quietly that Dwight (playing Darryl) literally cannot hear him
Dwight: Dwight's clinical retelling of the pepper spray incident: 'I removed my weapon from its secure hiding place. Discharged it at a distance of a little over a meter, rendering him utterly and completely disabled. The end.'
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Kelly · Ryan: Kelly's story about Ryan being scared of a murderer in his apartment and calling her at night — Ryan's attempt to reframe: 'I call you in the middle of the night to tell you that I love you.'
Ryan: Ryan's talking head: 'I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But if he did intend that... wow. Genius.'
Ryan Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael · Darryl: Michael changes the meeting location from his office to the conference room, then back, then to the conference room again — frantic indecision visible in the staging
Michael: Michael's talking head explaining tactic #6: 'Change the location of the meeting at the last second. Totally throws 'em off.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Michael · Darryl: Michael employs tactic #14 — declining to speak first — resulting in a long, excruciating silent standoff with Darryl that Darryl breaks effortlessly
Michael: Talking-head insert: 'Number 14. Declining to speak first. Makes them feel uncomfortable, puts you in control.' — followed by extended silence in the conference room.
Michael Awkward Silence Character Comedy Darryl · Michael: Mid-negotiation, Darryl notices Michael's pants: 'Are you wearing lady clothes?' Michael: 'No, this is a power suit.' Darryl: 'That there's a woman's suit.'
Michael: Michael's defense: 'I do not buy women's clothes. Would not make that mistake again.'
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael explains the suit: 'I got this out of a bin. There were these huge bins of clothes, and everybody was rifling through them like crazy, and I grabbed one. And it fit. So I don't think that is totally just a woman's suit. At the very least it's bisexual.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Pam · Michael · Darryl: Pam confirms the suit is women's clothing; the label is revealed: 'MISSterious.' Michael: 'And it is mysterious, because the buttons are on the wrong side. That's the mystery.'
Darryl · Pam · Michael: The group catalogs the suit's features: shoulder pads, fancy lining, no pockets. Michael: 'No, they don't. See?' — showing the empty pant legs
Michael: Michael's talking head: 'Negotiations are all about controlling things. About being in the driver's seat. And... you make one tiny mistake, you're dead. I made one tiny mistake. I wore women's clothes.'
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Kevin · Karen: Kevin asks Karen how she feels that Roy tried to 'kick her boyfriend's ass over another woman'
Jim · Pam: Jim to Pam: 'Sorry I almost got you killed.' Pam: 'Yeah. That was nuts.'
Jim Pam Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort Jim: Jim tells Pam 'I'm sure you guys'll find your way back to one another someday' about her and Roy — deeply passive-aggressive given his feelings
Jim Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort Michael · Darryl: Darryl slides his salary request across the desk; Michael reads it: 'Oh... Come on... be serious.' Darryl: 'I am serious, Mike. That's a 10% raise.'
Michael · Darryl: Michael proves his salary by showing his pay stub — Darryl is shocked: 'Mike, this is barely more than I make. You've been here ten years, dog.' Michael: '14 years.'
Michael: Michael's talking head: 'A boss's salary isn't just about money. It is about perks. For example, every year, I get a $100 gas card. Can't put a price tag on that.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Toby · Michael: Toby finds Michael in the parking lot and hands him $15: 'Here's the $15 I owe you. I heard you might need it.' — mocking Michael's salary
Darryl: Darryl's talking head: 'Yeah, I heard how much Michael makes. I still think he's way overpaid.'
Darryl Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Darryl · Michael: That's 'cause of you, Mike. They're not gonna give the working man more than the boss. / Well, what am I supposed to do? / Get your own raise.
Michael · Darryl: Michael: 'I am makin' it happen... Sergeant.' — responding to Darryl's 'Make it happen, Captain.'
Dwight · Jim: Dwight compares accepting Jim's lunch offer to Han Solo receiving payment for saving the rebel cause
Michael: Michael: 'I've never asked for a raise in 14 years. This is long overdue. I want to do it today.' — immediately after learning his salary is embarrassingly low
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection Callback Michael · Toby: Michael to Toby: 'Come on, let's go. I'm gonna smack you in the head with a hammer. Come on, let's go.' — said like a friendly invitation
Michael · Darryl: Michael quotes Chris Tucker's line from Rush Hour to Darryl — 'Don't ever touch a black man's radio!' — then immediately clarifies he won't touch Darryl's radio
Michael: Michael accidentally ordered 12,000 reams of paper instead of 12 — revealed mid-scene
Darryl · Michael: Darryl coaches Michael before the Jan negotiation: 'Pippity poppity, give me the zoppity.' Michael repeats it enthusiastically.
Darryl: Darryl's talking head: 'Yeah. I taught Michael some new phrases. I want him to get the raise. I... just can't help myself.'
Darryl Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Roy · Kevin: Roy reappears; Kevin shouts 'Roy! Look out!' — then Roy calmly says 'Thanks, Kev. I'm... good, though.'
Roy Kevin Reaction Beat Character Comedy Callback Michael · Jan: Michael says 'Bippity boppity' to Jan in the negotiation — a mangled version of Darryl's fake phrase
Michael Jan Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Jan: Michael threatens Jan: 'You give me a good raise, or no more sex.'
Toby: Toby's talking head: 'This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case... when it inevitably goes to trial.'
Toby Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Roy: Roy apologizes to Pam: 'I just kept thinking about you two together, and I thought you guys were really good friends or... or maybe he was gay or something.' Pause. 'Not that that's wrong.'
Roy Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jim · Dwight: Jim gives Dwight a fake 'Certificate of Bravery from the Scranton Police Department' — complete with a teddy bear in a policeman's cap
Jim Dwight Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight · Jim: Dwight, holding the children's bravery certificate: 'Please, they hand these out to little kids. Look, there's a teddy bear in a policeman's cap.' Jim: 'Mm...didn't think you'd notice.'
Dwight Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael's sad litany: 'I accidentally cross-dressed. And then Darryl made me feel bad for not making any money. And then I had to ride up here with stupid Toby.'
Michael Character Comedy Escalation Callback Jan · Michael: Jan coaches Michael to ask for 15% so she can say no and give 12%: 'I just need you to ask for it... so I can record that you asked for it.'
Michael · Jan: Michael: 'I would like a 15% raise.' Jan: 'No! But we can offer you 12.' Michael: 'But you just said 15.' Jan: 'Negotiation is an art.'
Michael: Michael's talking head: 'Both Darryl and I took something. Higher salaries. Win, win, win.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Jan: Michael's talking head continues: 'But, you know, life is about more than just salary. It's about... perks. Like having sex with Jan.' Jan, off-camera: 'Michael!'
Dwight · Angela: Dwight reads bravery stories to Angela in her office; she suggests they read it together; both exchange loaded looks
Jim: Jim's talking head about the fake certificate: 'I... will never say a word. And now... we are even.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Andy: Andy's talking head: 'I graduated from anger management the same way I graduated from Cornell... on time. Now I'm back, got a second chance, and I'm not gonna blow it. So look out, Dunder-Mifflin!'
Andy Character Comedy Misdirection Andy · Office Staff: Andy walks back into the office saying 'Hey, guys! Guess who's back?' — multiple people scream and recoil in fear
Dwight: Dwight, reacting to the office screaming at Andy's return: 'No need to thank me. I am not a hero. I am a mere defender of the office. You know who's a real hero? Hiro from Heroes. That's a hero. Also Bono.'
Dwight Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Office
