Michael was shocked when he received a call from Corporate wanting him to interview for a position. Michael was happy, but he also had other things on his mind. Beach Day was coming up and he was taking the crew out for some fun in the sun. Not before reminding Toby he couldn't go because somebody had to stay in the office.
WAR
100.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Beach Games” ranks #46 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 90.5 — Elite. The episode packs 75 scored jokes at 2.9 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Michael · Pam: Michael's response to Pam's emotional speech: 'Pam, that was amazing. But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.'
Michael Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight's version of 'The Aristocrats' — he describes it as 'really, really raunchy' and 'truly repulsive acts' but we never hear the middle; the audience reacts with 'Ooh, ah, whew, ho ho!'
Dwight Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's Jim speech ends with: 'Okay, my feet really hurt.'
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Misdirection ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight: 'I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael talking head on Andy: 'Pros: he's classy, he gets me. He went to Cornell. I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Standout Moments
Dwight: Dwight's version of 'The Aristocrats' — he describes it as 'really, really raunchy' and 'truly repulsive acts' but we never hear the middle; the audience reacts with 'Ooh, ah, whew, ho ho!'
Dwight Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's Jim speech ends with: 'Okay, my feet really hurt.'
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Misdirection ★ Rewatch Michael · Pam: Michael's response to Pam's emotional speech: 'Pam, that was amazing. But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.'
Michael Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 75 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael · Dwight: Michael claims to be dying with vague symptoms; Dwight consults a medical book and reads aloud 'Menses. Maybe.'
Jim: Talking-head confessional: 'About 40 times a year, Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Observational Michael · Dwight: Michael, mid-fake illness, takes a call from David Wallace and asks 'You see a phone?' when told David is on line one — implying he expected everyone to just know through his aura
Michael: 'I broke Jan's heart, David, and I feel awful. It was never my intention to ruin a life. But you know what? Sometimes... you just gots to get your freak on.'
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Michael: 'I wish I had prepared something to say.' — Michael, after being offered a major corporate job interview
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Michael announces 'the par-tay bus' and tells everyone to 'go potty now'
Michael Character Comedy Observational Michael · Oscar: Michael tells Oscar he can't swim in leather pants — implying that's a real swimming wardrobe consideration
Michael · Toby: Michael excludes Toby from beach day: 'Somebody has to stay here.' Then confessional: 'And if Toby is a part of it, then it'll suck.'
Toby · Kelly: Toby offers his leftover sunscreen to Kelly, who cheerfully accepts; shot plays as pathetically touching
Toby Kelly Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Michael · Pam: Michael gives Pam the job of 'finding out about people's character... not their hotness per se, but their humor and charisma, and the indefinable quality that makes you all glad to follow me'
Michael: Michael explains succession with a chicken metaphor: 'What happens to a chicken when you take its head away? It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's confessional: 'I have the most boring job in the office, so why wouldn't I have the most boring job on beach day?'
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Observational Kevin: 'I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.'
Kevin Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Stanley: 'Oh, sweet mother of God.' — Stanley, reacting to Michael unveiling a Survivor-style beach competition
Stanley Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Stanley: Michael to Stanley: 'If you don't like it, you can go to the back of the bus.' — then immediately backtracking: 'Or the front of the bus, or drive the bus.'
Kelly · Ryan: Kelly: 'I knew it wasn't just a trip to the beach.' Ryan: 'Okay, you know what? Your enthusiasm is turning people off.'
Dwight: Dwight: 'I hope there will be management parables.'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Michael describes the beach setting as 'America's eight largest indigenous body of water' — clearly made-up statistic about Lake Scranton
Michael: Michael's Survivor parody speech: '14 strangers who work together... but only one survivor.' Then employee: 'What?!' Michael: 'Just words... inspiring words.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Michael says tribes will be led by people he'll 'pick randomly off the top of his head without thinking' — then immediately names Jim, Dwight, Andy, and Stanley
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Michael's confessional on Jim: 'Pros: smart, cool, good looking. Remind you of anybody you know? Cons: not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project and he will finish the same project in a half an hour. So that should tell you something.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Ryan · Michael: Ryan chooses Michael as his teammate: 'I choose Michael!' Michael: 'I'm not playing.' Ryan: 'Okay, temp.'
Michael: Michael's confessional on Dwight: 'Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. He has the best sales record in the office. He loves the work. He is, however, an idiot.'
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: Dwight names his tribe 'Gryffindor'; Jim immediately suggests 'Slytherin.' Dwight: 'Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim.' Jim: 'I know.'
Dwight Jim Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael · Dwight · Jim: Michael names his team 'Voldemort' and keeps saying the name while Dwight protests; Dwight: 'Idiots!'
Stanley · Michael: Stanley names his team whatever Michael says; Michael assigns 'the red team.' Stanley immediately: 'No, the blue team.'
Michael: Michael's confessional on Andy: 'Pros: he's classy, he gets me. He went to Cornell. I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael talking head on Andy: 'Pros: he's classy, he gets me. He went to Cornell. I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Phyllis · unnamed guide: The blindfolded egg race: a blindfolded employee confidently declares 'I know I'm near the big rock.' Guide: 'Nowhere near the big rock.' Employee immediately hits the big rock.
Jim: Jim's confessional: 'I am okay if I lose every single contest today. Honestly. Because I see these contests as an opportunity for me to demonstrate what a good sport I am.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: Michael shouts 'Come on, andale, arriba, arriba' at a blindfolded employee; the employee threatens to stop unless Michael stops yelling; Michael apologizes and says 'That's what being a good captain is about.'
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Pam · Michael: Pam narrates: 'There's nothing better than a beautiful day at the beach, filled with sun, surf, and diligent note taking.' Michael: 'Pam, you're missing things.'
Michael · Pam: Michael asks Pam to heat up 800 hot dogs in 10 minutes with no equipment
Michael: Michael: 'The world record is 54 and a half hot dogs.' Employee: 'Wow!' Michael: 'I personally have cooked up enough so that each and every one of you could break that record.'
Michael · employee: An employee asks 'Can I have a turkey burger?' Michael: 'No, I have the only one. I claimed it.'
employee · Michael: Employee asks: 'You can't say, or you can't pronounce it?' — about the mystery prize Michael won't reveal
Michael: Michael reveals the hot dog eating contest prize is 'his job' and his corporate interview — then adds 'I'm the most qualified, and I'll probably get it.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Oscar · Michael: Oscar: 'Do you expect me to believe that you're truly making your recommendations on this basis?' Michael: 'Word.'
Dwight: Dwight: 'I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael · Andy: Andy's hot dog count: initially declared 14, then 'One came up. 13 hot dogs, everybody.' Andy: 'Damn it!'
Dwight · Andy: Dwight explains 'Sabotage' to Andy — 'the ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team' — while having clearly been saying 'sabotage' to miscommunicate
Dwight: Dwight's confessional: 'I will misunderstand everything that Andy says until he goes insane.'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael announces sumo wrestling rules including 'safety mittens' — then admits he probably left them in his car
Oscar: Oscar's confessional: 'If either of these guys are put in charge of the office, I will transfer to Albany. Gil can come if he wants. I'm kind of looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see.'
Oscar Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jim: Jim's reaction during sumo wrestling: 'I have never seen that look in a man's eyes ever. I thought that I might die. On beach day.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: After losing sumo, Dwight claims he didn't really lose: 'The only reason I didn't win is because I recently learned that it's better to work things out with words.' Jim: 'That's not why you lost.'
Dwight Jim Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: After claiming non-violence, Dwight immediately starts wrestling Jim again — grunting, charging — while yelling 'I totally could have kicked your butt so bad!'
Dwight Jim Physical/Slapstick Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Andy · Angela: Andy, floating away on a sumo suit in the lake, screaming for help while Angela watches passively
Andy Angela Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael's confessional: 'Jim is not taking it seriously, Stanley is having a stroke, and Andy... where is he? Where the hell is Andy?'
Michael Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Pam · Michael: Pam can't convert Michael's inconsistent scoring units: 'At various times you gave Jim ten points, Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs up. And I don't really know how to compare those units.'
Michael · Pam: Michael: 'Check to see if there's a conversion chart in that notebook.' Pam: 'I really doubt it, Michael.' Michael: 'Please just check.'
Karen · Jim: Karen calls David Wallace to interview for the New York job — and Jim overhears, mispronounces 'as well' as 'in well', then jokes 'This job is in a well. I don't want it.'
Michael · Andy: Michael: 'What does a great manager need most of all?' Employee (straight answer): 'Courage.' Michael: 'I mean, sure thing, that sounds smart.'
Michael: Michael announces the final event is 'a fire walk' — everyone must walk on hot coals to prove courage
Angela: Angela refuses to walk the coals because 'I'm not gonna walk in the fire after your disgusting feet have gone through.' — referring to Michael's hypothetical prior crossing
Angela Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight volunteers to walk coals with total conviction: 'I'm gonna do it. And I fully expect to burn my feet and go to the hospital. That's the right spirit when doing a coal walk, right?'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jim · Michael: Jim refuses to walk the fire: 'Nope.' Michael: 'Why not? Come on.' Jim: 'Oh, 'cause I don't want my feet to get burned.' Michael: 'You do not have what it takes to be a regional manager.'
Andy: Andy, stranded and adrift, announces himself through the phone: 'My name is Andrew Bernard. I was with a group called Dunder-Mifflin.'
Andy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael · employee: Michael refuses to walk coals because 'I already did. Remember? I burned my foot on the George Foreman grill.' Employee: 'That is not the same at all.'
Michael: Michael's extended stalling at the fire walk: multiple false starts, debating which count to go on ('am I going on go or on three?'), needing the count changed from 3-2-1 to 1-2-3
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Dwight · Michael: Michael doesn't walk — then Dwight storms out and stands on the coals demanding his job: 'Give me the job!' Then kneels on them. 'Don't kneel on the coals!' 'God, that stinks!'
Dwight Michael Character Comedy Escalation Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Dwight · Michael: Dwight walks the fire to demand Michael give him the job; Michael refuses; Dwight kneels on the coals.
Michael: Michael's confessional reaction to Dwight's coal walk: 'Being a boss is also about image. I've never looked like that. That was gross.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement unnamed employee: 'Worst 75 bucks I ever spent.' — employee referring to the fire walk setup
Michael · Kelly: Michael: 'Who's Bob Hope?' Office: 'God!' Kelly: 'He's like Amanda Bynes.' Michael: 'Who's Amanda Bynes?' Kelly: 'She's from What a Girl Wants.' Michael: 'Oh, I love that movie.' … 'The person to replace me has to possess the leadership qualities of a Bynes or a Hope.'
Michael: 'The person to replace me has to have a great sense of humor. And they have to possess the leadership qualities of a Bynes or a Hope.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Jim · Michael: Jim declares to Michael he's also interviewing for the corporate job: 'On Thursday, I'm gonna drive down and interview with David for the open position in New York.' Michael: 'Okay, that is not funny. I am deducting 60 points from Voldemort for false pretenses.'
Jim Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Jim · Michael: Jim tells Michael directly he's going to interview for the corporate job too; Michael deducts 60 points from 'Voldemort' for 'false pretenses'
Jim Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: Pam's fire walk and subsequent speech: 'I did the coal walk. Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.' Then: 'Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked.'
Pam Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam: 'Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked.'
Pam Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: Pam adds: 'The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle.'
Pam Character Comedy Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael's response to Pam's speech: 'Pam, that was amazing. But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Office
