Michael was shocked when he received a call from Corporate wanting him to interview for a position. Michael was happy, but he also had other things on his mind. Beach Day was coming up and he was taking the crew out for some fun in the sun. Not before reminding Toby he couldn't go because somebody had to stay in the office.
WAR
51.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Beach Games” ranks #95 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.2 — Elite. The episode packs 72 scored jokes at 2.8 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Pam: I shouldn't have been with Roy. There were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding, but the truth is I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you.
Pam Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just, like, weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you.
Pam Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Pam, that was amazing. But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.
Pam: And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. It's whatever... that's not what I'm... I'm not... Okay, my feet really hurt.
Pam Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam: I did the coal walk. Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.
Pam Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 72 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael · Dwight: Michael's vague illness symptoms and Dwight's medical diagnosis attempts
Jim: About 40 times a year, Michael gets really sick, but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned.
Jim Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight · Michael: Ooh, is it possible you ate food that contained animal waste? It's possible.
Michael: To what do I owe this great honor, David Wallace? And Gromit.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael: Oh, you sigh like Jan.
Michael Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: I broke Jan's heart, David, and I feel awful. But you know what? Sometimes you just gots to get your freak on.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: May God guide you in your quest.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael: I suggest that you all go potty now. And then we will be congregating on the par-tay bus.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael · Oscar: Oscar, you brought your Speedo, I assume? I don't wear a Speedo, Michael. Well, you can't swim in leather pants.
Michael · Toby: Oh, you know what? Uh, you're not going. It's beach day. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Toby.
Michael: I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York. And if Toby is a part of it... then it'll suck.
Toby · Meredith: Hey... want my sunscreen? Oh, great. I forgot mine, and I'm wearing a two-piece. Thanks, Toby.
Michael: I want you to find out about people's character. You know, not their hotness, per se, but their humor and their charisma.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: It's like what happens to a chicken when you take its head away. It dies. Unless you find a new head.
Michael: I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.
Pam: You want me to write down people's indefinable qualities?
Pam Observational Deadpan/Understatement Pam: I have the most boring job in the office, so why wouldn't I have the most boring job on beach day?
Pam Observational ★ Rewatch Stanley: I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.
Stanley Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Stanley: Oh, sweet mother of God.
Stanley Reaction Beat Character Comedy Michael: If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus. Or the front of the bus, or drive the bus.
Michael Character Comedy Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Dwight: Yes, funtivities! I knew it wasn't just a trip to the beach.
Dwight Character Comedy Reaction Beat Michael: Okay, you know what? Your enthusiasm is turning people off.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael · Pam: Like what? Like everything I said, and everything they did. Just don't... Well, no. Write it down before you forget it. That's... You've just been drawing pictures.
Michael: Rrrrr-rrrrr! I can't stay mad at you.
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Michael: We are situated on the northeast corner of scenic Lake Scranton. America's eight largest indigenous body of water.
Michael · Stanley: One day, 14 strangers who work together... but only one survivor. What?! Just words... inspiring words.
Michael: Each tribe will have a leader that I will pick randomly off the top of my head without thinking. Jim, Dwight, Andy, and Stanley.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael: Pros: smart, cool, good looking. Remind you of anybody you know? Cons: not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project, and he will finish the same project in a half an hour.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. He has the best sales record in the office. He loves the work. He is, however, an idiot.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: We will be called Gryffindor. Really? Not Slytherin? Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim. I know.
Jim · Dwight: Okay, we will be Voldemort. He who must not be named? I wouldn't do that. Voldemort. Okay, seriously... Voldemort! Voldemort, Voldemort... You really shouldn't be say... Hey, hey, hey. Voldemort. Voldemort! Idiots!
Stanley · Michael: I don't care what you call my team. Then I will name your team the red team. No, the blue team.
Michael: I am also considering Stanley, because of all the good that black people have done for America.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael: Andy Bernard. Pros: he's classy, he gets me. He went to Cornell. I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jim: I am okay if I lose every single contest today. Honestly. Because I see these contests as an opportunity for me to demonstrate what a good sport I am.
Jim Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phyllis · Angela: I don't want to hit the big rock. Don't worry, you're not... I know I'm near the big rock. I just know it. Nowhere near the big rock.
Michael · Phyllis: Come on, andale, arriba, arriba. You have to stop this right now, or I'm not gonna do this anymore.
Dwight · Ryan: Come on, mush! Mush! Come on, you bastard! What the... Damn it, temp!
Pam: How am I supposed to get... Thanks a bunch.
Pam Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Michael: For those of you who are curious, the world record is 54 1/2 hot dogs. Wow! And you know what? I personally have cooked up enough so that each and every one of you could break that record.
Oscar · Michael: Can I have a turkey burger? No, I have the only one. I claimed it. Turkey is a healthy meat.
Kevin: I don't eat meat, Michael. I'm not gonna eat this.
Kevin Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael · Stanley: The winner gets a regional manager's salary for a year, and a Sebring, and the feeling that they are making a difference in the world. Can we just take those first two things?
Dwight: I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Andy: And the winner is Andy Bernard, with 14 hot dogs. Team U.S.A.! One came up. 13 hot dogs, everybody.
Andy · Jim: Did you say 'sandwich?' No. I was saying that before. Not now. Now I am saying... Sabotage... ...the ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team.
Andy Jim Wordplay/Pun Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jim: I will misunderstand everything that Andy says, until he goes insane.
Jim Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jim: Oh, my God... I have never seen that look in a man's eyes ever. I thought that I might die. On beach day.
Jim Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Oscar: If either of these guys are put in charge of the office, I will transfer to Albany. Gil can come if he wants. I'm kind of looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see.
Oscar Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Andy · Angela: Go tell somebody. What, Andy? Andy, what should I tell them? Go tell them I'm floating away, obviously! I don't understand what you want from me.
Andy · Angela: Angela, it's pretty simple. Look at what I'm doing, and go tell somebody it! Sorry. Aah... Bye, Andy. Angela!
Pam: At various times, you gave Jim ten points, Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs up. And I don't really know how to compare those units.
Pam Observational Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Pam: Well, check to see if there's a conversion chart in that notebook. I really doubt it, Michael. Please just check.
Karen · Jim: Yes, I would like to be considered for the corporate position in well. 'In well?' As well. How would that work... in well? I just want to know. That would be fine. This job is in a well. I don't want it.
Pam · Michael: I'd like to try. Pointless. But I'm not kidding. Okay? This is about guts. It takes guts to be a regional manager.
Jim · Michael: Nope. Ju... why not? Come on. Oh, 'cause I don't want my feet to get burned. You do not have what it takes to be a regional manager. That's harsh.
Andy: My name is Andrew Bernard. I was with a group called Dunder-Mifflin. Hello?
Andy Physical/Slapstick Absurdist Michael: Because I already did. Remember? I burned my foot on the George Foreman grill.
Michael Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight · Michael: I will walk and stand on these coals until you award me the position of regional manager! Wow. Dwight. Dwight. Aaah! Ow. Get off there. Get off, get off. Give me the job! I'm not going to give it to you.
Michael: Being a boss is also about image. I've never looked like that. That was gross.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Kelly · Michael · Kevin: Who's Bob Hope? God! He's a, he's a comedian. Oh, like Amanda Bynes. Who's Amanda Bynes? She's from What a Girl Wants. Oh, I love that movie.
Jim · Michael: Michael, on Thursday, I'm gonna drive down and interview with David for the open position in New York. Okay, that is not funny. I am deducting 60 points from Voldemort for false pretenses.
Dwight: The Aristocrats. A man and his wife and children go into the offices of a talent agency. And the talent agent says, 'Describe your act.' And the man says something really, really raunchy. And the talent representative says, 'What do you call yourselves?' And the man says, 'The Aristocrats.'
Dwight Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam: I did the coal walk. Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.
Pam Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Pam: Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist.
Pam Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just, like, weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you.
Pam Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: I shouldn't have been with Roy. There were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding, but the truth is I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you.
Pam Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Pam: And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. It's whatever... that's not what I'm... I'm not... Okay, my feet really hurt.
Pam Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam: The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle.
Pam Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Pam, that was amazing. But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.
Andy Character Comedy Callback Callback ⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 19:00-20:00 range with coal walk setup as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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