Sabre's CEO wants the Scranton branch to have one manager, and Michael voluntarily steps down and lets Jim become the boss when he finds out that salespeople make more money. However, he soon comes to regret the decision.
WAR
62.1
Wins Above Replacement
“The Delivery” ranks #94 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.4 — Elite. The episode packs 65 scored jokes at 1.3 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: Sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd.
Dwight Absurdist Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Dwight · Angela: Bear my child. Excuse me? I want to have a child for business reasons, and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.
Michael: Think of pam's nipples as toby's grundle.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: I put an ad in the paper starting an escort service. Got a lot of responses... Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jim: Burning man, port-a-potty.
Jim Cringe/Discomfort Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 65 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Pam: Yeah, I'm pregnant. Great.
Pam Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight: My cousin came down with a case of that nasty new goat fungus. Oh, it's just horrific. The doctor says he's never seen it beard so quickly.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: I need a baby. I'll never outsell jim and pam without one. Also, I've been noticing a gaping hole in my life.
Dwight Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dwight: Sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd.
Dwight Absurdist Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Pam: Kevin, you're such a gourmand.
Kevin: Last night I had edward's cornflake chicken.
Kevin Character Comedy Observational Kevin: Not all meals, just second breakfast, lunch, second lunch, and first dinner.
Kevin Escalation Character Comedy Jim: If it's crying all night, one of us is gonna have to take care of it. And I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.
Jim Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Michael: 'contraptions'! She's 'contrapting.'
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael: Actually, I put diesel in this time... Try to save some money.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Well, the baby was conceived here, so it might as well live here a little bit too.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jim: Burning man, port-a-potty.
Jim Cringe/Discomfort Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Michael: Ooh! Yuck! T.M.I. How was it? I don't want to know. Tell me later.
Michael: Otherwise, the baby's gonna become a teenager in there, and you'll be up all night from the rock music.
Michael: Shut up, nick. God! What a weird thing to say, weird I.T. Nerd. Don't get revenge on me, nerd.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dwight · Angela: Bear my child. Excuse me? I want to have a child for business reasons, and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.
Dwight: Very well. Let's meet at 4:00 p.M. At our old meeting spot and bang it out.
Dwight Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Kevin: if your baby's born tomorrow, He's gonna have the same birthday as buttmud brooks, My old roommate.
Kevin Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jim: I'm just the left tackle who happened to get her pregnant.
Jim Character Comedy Observational Andy: My brother was born, and my parents felt he better exemplified the walter jr. Name, so they gave it to him. I was given 'andrew,' which they got out of a baby-name book.
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: When I was a kid, my mom received compliments left and right from my teachers on how... I was always able to distract others in class.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael: [imitating flatulence]
Michael Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Kelly: Oh, my god, pam, you are a woman warrior.
Kelly Character Comedy Observational Phyllis: I can put on lipstick the way molly ringwald does in the breakfast club.
Phyllis Character Comedy Observational Michael: Nope. No, I don't think anybody wants to see that.
Michael Reaction Beat Character Comedy Creed: You're clapping. I need complete silence. Totally threw me off, so I'm gonna have to start over.
Creed Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dwight: Child will be breast-fed by the mother for exactly six months, then weaned onto a nutrient-rich winter-vegetable mash provided by the father, dwight schrute, hereafter referred to as morpheus.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Think of pam's nipples as toby's grundle.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Creed: I have a shirt like that in my car.
Creed Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kevin: Stick spicy food up her butt.
Kevin Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jim: I'm not crazy, she's crazy. 'five to seven minutes.' 'six minutes.' different, but not really. 'five to seven minutes.'
Jim Character Comedy Escalation Dwight: It's as simple as keeping the womb extremely warm for two days after sex and then extremely cold for five months.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy Pam: I called the doctor, like, a week ago. I couldn't wait.
Pam Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Pam: Oh, yeah. My water broke.
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael: Too bad you didn't have sex, like, 7,5 hours later. But you had to have the afternoon delight.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Kevin: We have ratatouille from ratatouille and tandoori chicken from born into brothels.
Kevin Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Pam: I can't do it. I don't think I can do it.
Pam Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael · Dwight: Should I bring a dictionary to the hospital? The hospital will provide dictionaries. Bring a thesaurus.
Dwight · Jim: I didn't know we had a tape measure. We don't.
Dwight: I put an ad in the paper starting an escort service. Got a lot of responses... Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dwight: Then why didn't you ask me to do it yesterday? I kept I.M.Ing you how bored I was.
Dwight Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jim: she's ten inches dilated now... Sorry, meters... centimeters.
Jim Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Nope, not yet, not yet, not yet. Gotta go wash my eyes. That kid's gonna have a lot of hair.
Michael: She was supposed to come out yesterday. I decided to give baby halpert a newspaper from the day she was born. This frame set me back 55 bones.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Phyllis: I have an ice cream cake in the car.
Phyllis Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Michael: [imitating james cagney] yeah... That's right. It's a baby, see...
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Jim: I'm sure there's still 12 of each.
Jim Character Comedy Observational Dwight: I am a diapering master. I've done little else in the past two months. There is nothing I cannot diaper. Go ahead. Try to think of something. I dare you.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Jim: That's so weird. She was saying it just before you got here.
Jim Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Dwight: What I did find... Was mold and lots of it. So I did what anyone would do. I got a good night's sleep and made plans to eradicate it.
Dwight Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Michael: The odds of them getting together were 'insurmountainable.' I made a family. I got these two together, and I made a family.
Michael Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Michael: who wants to live in a world where stanley has two lovers and you don't have any?
Michael Character Comedy Observational Andy: Torn scrotum... still on the mend, so... Not good timing.
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Andy: I have a small skylight in my bedroom, and I'd like for the moon to be visible.
Andy Character Comedy Absurdist Michael: I am going to fill the empty voids in your life with love. I am going to fill that empty hole in your body with another person.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Kevin has an elephant heart. Literally, he has an elephant heart. He had a transplant, when he was 17... No. Kevin doesn't have an elephant heart.
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Andy: Why was I hiding behind the plant? well, in college, I took a botany class, and there was lots of drama in that class... And then I would jump out at them and confront them and be like, 'oh, you think all I do is hide behind plants and spy on people?' busted.
Andy Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Clarke: 'got milk?' [chuckles]
Clarke Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort Dwight: Why don't you meet me here at exactly mid-late afternoon?
Dwight Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Michael · Kevin: Do you really think that you could have dated erin? You said she liked me. Okay, even if someone told you that, You should know that that could never be possible, kevin.
Pam: Wrong baby. Wrong baby! This is not our baby!
Pam Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Dwight: How some people spend their money. Right?
Dwight Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Erin: The fax says... 'erin, will you have dinner with me? From andy.' And the number is our office fax number.
Erin Character Comedy Observational Dwight: Just give me a couple days... Be out of your hair.
Dwight Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Office
