Body Language

Michael · Erin:Buenos dias, erin. Buenos dias, miguel.

Michael:I believe that every man, woman, and child in this country should learn how to speak spanish. They are our neighbors to the south, and to cancun.

Dwight:Guten tag, herr michael. I don't understand why michael is wasting his time with spanish. I have it on very good authority that within 20 years, everyone will be speaking german. Or a chinese-german hybrid.

Jim · Pam:So I told him to mark everything with the international symbol for gender. And, um... I should have been more specific. Your office is full of genitalia.

Michael:Eso es lo que dice el. 'that's what he says'? Damn it.

Michael:Yo soy cancun.

Michael:Like, 'I just delivered a baby. They didn't offer me a guarantee.'

Michael:Can you smell the power of halperts? Power couple.

Dwight:If you want people to put the best face on something, why would you get two people who probably have never cut the face off of anything in their lives?

Pam:I don't even know who you are anymore.

Todd Packer:Did somebody order a hooker over here?

Donna · Pam:You look exactly alike. Oh, no, we're actually married. We're not brother and sister.

Michael:I have a sense about these things. All right. You have some ancestors in common... somewhere back. I knew it. You should see their baby.

Darryl · Michael:It doesn't just sound a'ight, it sounds amazing. I didn't say 'a'ight.'

Michael:Uh, glasses wearers. Cholera survivors. Geniuses. Non-organic family farmers. The list goes on and on.

Dwight:Ten seconds ago, this guy was driving a forklift. Okay? Now, all of a sudden, he's cinderella of the office.

Kelly:You know what? You can go to hell. All right? Thanks for nothing. Oh, man. White people, right?

Darryl · Kelly:I don't know if she was white. Well, you can kind of tell from the voice.

Michael · Kelly:How many indian ceos can you think of? I can't think of any ceos, any race.

Kelly · Michael:I could be the indian julia roberts. That's not-- she's--okay.

Michael:It's subtle. That's how it works. I show her an image that turns her on. And then she looks at me, then she looks at the image, then back at me, then back at the image. Soon, she doesn't know what is me, what is the image. She just knows that she's turned on.

Donna · Michael:Who took the photo? / Ryan.

Michael:You didn't see it, pam. She was giving me all sorts of signals that she wanted me to make a move.

Michael:Oh, really, jim? What about pam? And you did a heck of a lot more than kiss. Maybe this could be my pam.

Donna:But I work in the nightlife industry. I get hit on all the time. In my 20s, it would have been annoying. In my late 20s, I find it really flattering.

Pam:Don't act like you understood anything that guy said.

Kelly · Michael:Indian guys always wear their cell phones outside their pants. It's so dorky. Oh, no, no. That's not dorky. Look, it's easily accessible. Boom, like this. 911, hello. Scranton strangler's in the house. Inside the house.

Kevin:You ever notice you can only ooze two things: sexuality and pus.

Kevin · Angela:Maybe she's just pushing her breasts together to make them look bigger. Like that?

Oscar:Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes more financial sense to gain money.

Jim · Pam:'cause I stopped by your desk like 15 times a day. I was after your money. Well, the joke was on you.

Ryan · Kelly:This girl was really rude to me at the mall. So I created a fake I.M. Account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic. Tell her everyone in home room thinks she's fat.

Kelly:When I become executive, I'm gonna make Ryan manager. And then the two of us are cleaning house.

Kelly · Ryan:Do you think you're treated differently because of your race? Would you ask that same question if I was white? We're so in.

Dwight:If you'd have told me this morning that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, I'd have thought you were referring to the bull moose Mose and I are trying to reanimate.

Jim:It's like cool... 'certified cool.' I like how they say 'certified.' Like there's some consortium of...

Jim · Kevin:Well, why don't you just move the m&ms? Well, why don't you shut up!

Michael · Jim:What sort of movie would rudy have been if he had just stopped, given up, after two rejections? Would have been a lot shorter. Probably been a lot funnier.

Dwight:Indians migrated from the caucuses region of europe. Therefore, technically, she is caucasian. You're welcome, america.

Darryl:I got my whole life to be a minority executive. I only have about a year left in these knees, though.

Donna:I do find that offensive, actually.

Michael:Do you need validation? We don't-- we don't validate.

Jim:And have a good elevator ride.

Dwight:I wasn't talking to you, pale face.

Dwight:I'll slap you in the face with a rainbow.

Kelly:For hobbies, um, yoga, belly dancing, snake charming. Beds of nails, I like lying on them.

Dwight:This is Hide Toshi Hasagawa. He would like to apply for the sabre minority executive training program 'print in all colors' initiative.

Kelly · Hide:God, I hate you so much! Caucasians, am I right?

Hide:In japan, heart surgeon, number one. Steady hand.

Michael · Kevin:Was it the cleavage? Yeah, and the shoulder cutouts.

Creed:You know, when I tore my scrote, I was, uh... I was seeing this really hot urologist about it, and thought she was into me. But now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my hmo.

Michael:They're going to be pretty pleased in tallahassee that I snagged an indian for the program. She'll be the first. The program's mostly black. It's almost too black. That didn't sound right.

Michael:The program's mostly black. It's almost too black.

Dwight:Just once, I would like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?

Donna · Michael:You were right. / About what? / You were right. / I'm sorry. / No, no. No. / I'm sor-- / No.

Donna · Michael:You were right. About what? You were right.