Michael, believing he has herpes, contacts all his ex-girlfriends, including Jan and Holly. Andy tries to play on Erin’s compassionate side by holding a sex education meeting for the office.
WAR
47.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Sex Ed” ranks #60 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.0 — Elite. The episode packs 52 scored jokes at 2.2 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Holly: You cried at that tag line for a movie you made up. 'He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation.'
Holly Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jan: (SINGING) How was school? It was cool. What did you learn? What did I learn? You might have learned shapes, or blocks, or clocks, or colors, or you might have learned that we're all sisters and brothers... I have herpes.
Jan Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dwight: I pick up day laborers and tell them that they'll get paid at 6:00 p.m. At 5:45, a certain I.N.S. Agent, by the name of Mose Schrute, throws them in the back of a van, drops them off in the middle of Harrisburg and tells them it's Canada.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Darryl: What's the safest way to go skiing? Don't ski. (ALL LAUGHING)
Darryl Setup/Punchline Observational Michael: I remember every second of us. And talking to you today, I don't feel for them anything like what I feel for you. It's... I didn't joke with any of them. I joked with you.
Michael Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 52 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Day Laborers: We don't go with that man. I've seen several men go with that man and none come back. We've lost friends... We don't know what he does with them.
Dwight: I pick up day laborers and tell them that they'll get paid at 6:00 p.m. At 5:45, a certain I.N.S. Agent, by the name of Mose Schrute, throws them in the back of a van, drops them off in the middle of Harrisburg and tells them it's Canada.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Day Laborer · Dwight: Scranton. Y... before that, la Philadelphia.
Phyllis · Dwight: Yeah. I got stung up my dress. Poor hornet.
Dwight · Pam: If he chooses correctly, he'll conquer the hornets. And if he doesn't? He'll die. What? Beg your pardon?
Dwight: When did the phrase 'do or die' become so corrupted?
Dwight Character Comedy Observational Nate · Office Workers: Visual: Nate attempting to deal with hornets using increasingly inappropriate tools while everyone watches in horror
Michael: Good morning, Erin. Any mustaches, I mean messages?
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael: There are many reasons a man would wear a fake mustache to work. He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise! He loves other things as well.
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection Michael: It's a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time, and she rocks harder than anyone alive.
Michael: You mean cancer? What? No way. No. Definitely not. Not cancer.
Jim: It's just good to catch a Michael train of thought early before it derails and destroys the entire town.
Jim Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Meredith · Michael: A cold sore is herpes. What?
Meredith: I know tons and tons of people who have herpes. I have it myself. That's what it is.
Meredith Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael · Meredith: I've never seen herpes on you. 'Cause it's on my genitals, genius.
Michael: You have a penis?
Oscar · Michael: Michael, you're at least 46. Why 'at least'? If you're guessing 46, just say 46.
Angela: This is what you get when you treat your body like an outhouse.
Angela Character Comedy Observational Andy: The number one sexually transmitted disease is ignorance.
Andy Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Michael: I feel like one of those old-timey sailors with VD. (IN GRUFF VOICE) Eh, it's me own darn fault. Girl in every port!
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Jim: What port? The Jan port? The Holly port?
Jim Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: Now, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Michael · Donna: I have a disease for which there is no known cure that has been sexually transmitted to me. Oh, no! I can't even say it. H-I-R-P-E-E-S.
Andy · Stanley: What do you mean 'again'? You're always asking for our attention. Well, maybe like a year ago. Mmm. Seems recent.
Oscar · Stanley · Andy: Oh! When you got your new phone, that's when you asked for everyone's attention. World Cup. That's what I was thinking. You kept announcing scores.
Michael · Holly: This is Holly. No, this is Holly. No... This is Michael Scott. Busted.
Michael: Were they in the missionary position?
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael · Holly: We would have twins. I don't think we'd have kids. Mmm-hmm. We would be married. Michael, I've been dating A.J. For a year and a half now.
Holly: You cried at that tag line for a movie you made up. 'He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation.'
Holly Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jan: How do I do it? Raise my daughter, work as director of office purchasing for this hospital and release an album of Doris Day covers on my own label? If I knew, I'd tell you.
Jan Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Jan · Michael: (SINGING) Fry it up in a pan, Never, never, never let you forget you're a man. Love that commercial. I don't understand the reference.
Andy · Office Workers: Now I'm gonna show you another picture of perfectly normal genitalia. (ALL EXCLAIM IN DISGUST) Oh, my God! Yeah, sure, it's got some herpes on it. But you know what? It's just as normal as anyone else's.
Jan · Michael: Well, if there was anything exciting about it, it was because we both knew it was wrong. Because we worked together. No. Okay, imagine there's a princess who falls for a guy beneath her station, and the queen doesn't like this at all... Am I the princess? No, I'm the princess. And the queen.
Jan: (SINGING) How was school? It was cool. What did you learn? What did I learn? You might have learned shapes, or blocks, or clocks, or colors, or you might have learned that we're all sisters and brothers... I have herpes.
Jan Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Andy · Jim · Pam: Just admit that your baby was a mistake. Whoa! Hey, our baby was not a mistake. She was a surprise.
Michael · Dwight: You know, I don't know if I trust Jan's judgment. She... Jan knows paper. No, not paper. Relationships.
Michael · Helene · Grandmother: Who are you? I'm Michael. We dated for a while. I don't think so. Michael? Oh, hey! Dwight, would you take my grandmother for a walk while I talk to the real Helene?
Darryl: What's the safest way to go skiing? Don't ski. (ALL LAUGHING)
Darryl Setup/Punchline Observational Oscar · Andy: Why would you choose a pencil, Andy? Well, I'm not gonna use my penis, Oscar. It's not exactly hard right now, anyway.
Stanley · Andy: Come on, give it a rest, pencil (BLEEP). I'm doing this for you, Meredith!
Helene: I think that for you to have come here even expecting that we could have a conversation like this shows how self-deluded you are. Michael, your memory has failed you greatly.
Helene Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Carole: You didn't call my office and ask them where I was? No! (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) That's so... 'Cause the receptionist told me that a man called, but he would only say that he was my ex-Iover.
Andy: My good sir, nothing would make me happier than to hand you the hand of the hand once in my hand.
Andy Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Carole · Michael: You proposed to me on our fourth date. Well, I believe in love at first sight. Well, so do I, but we didn't love each other at first, either.
Dwight · Carole: Someone died in the upstairs bathroom, didn't they? No.
Darryl · Andy: Are you crying? No, I'm just sweating. I don't know what's got you upset, but my advice is stop crying. I'm not crying. I'm sweating.
Darryl: I have no idea what his problem is. It's just my standard advice. It's good advice, right?
Darryl Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Holly: This is Holly Flax. I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave a message at the sound of the tiny truck backing up.
Holly Character Comedy Absurdist Michael: Today, I ended up seeing a lot of the women that I used to date, and in my mind, they were all great. And then when I actually saw them, it was mostly a freak show.
Michael Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: I remember every second of us. And talking to you today, I don't feel for them anything like what I feel for you. It's... I didn't joke with any of them. I joked with you.
Michael Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: We once sucked face in public as part of an office presentation to destroy the stigma about gay kissing. Do you recall?
Michael Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Dwight: I'm gonna need a list of every man you've ever had sex with. I'm talking train stations, men's rooms... Flower shops, fireworks celebrations... Fence with a hole in it. Moonlit gondola. Carriage ride through Central Park.
⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 01:30-02:00 range with physical hornet comedy as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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