Sebastien Raine

Alexis:When did you date Sebastien?

David:We dated for about two years.

Alexis:David, he was seeing other people during that time.

David:Well, yes, but I'm counting the months where we were *together* together.

Alexis:Which months are those?

David:All of them.

David:Sebastien Raine is a visionary. He's a creative genius. He's a man who sees the world differently than the rest of us, and that is both a gift and a curse. And yes, he may have publicly humiliated me in front of my peers, destroyed my professional reputation, and made me question everything I know about myself as a merchant, but that doesn't change the fact that he is a true artist.

David:Actually, if you're going to bring that up, I should clarify the timeline. It was after we broke up.

Patrick:David, we didn't break up. You just... didn't tell me you were seeing someone else.

David:Well, semantically—

Patrick:You made it worse. You made it so much worse.

Alexis:He literally sat in the food court for six hours eating pretzels and crying.

David:I was not crying. I was eating pretzels. Two separate activities.

Alexis:David, your face was wet.

David:It was pretzel salt.

Moira:Well, if you don't care, then I have no choice but to go ahead with it. Your apathy has left me no alternative.

David:He's got this sort of rugged, unkempt look. Very artisanal.

Stevie:So handsome in a homeless-y way?

David:I wouldn't have phrased it that way, but... yes.

David:Is he here? Can you see him?

Stevie:He's pulling up now. Oh, he's getting out of the car.

David:And? What's he doing?

Stevie:He's walking. He's still walking. He's at the door.

David:This is it. This is happening.

Stevie:He's reaching for the handle. His hand is on the handle. He's opening it.

David:Oh my God.

Stevie:He's inside. He's looking around. He's... he's leaving.

David:What do you mean he's leaving?

Stevie:He took one look and left. He's gone.

Sebastien:Well, this is... cozy. Very... economical. I appreciate how you've embraced the aesthetic of 'we've given up.'

Sebastien:David, you look... healthy.

David:...Thank you?

Sebastien:You know, what you're doing here is really very brave.

David:Thank you?

Sebastien:Living like this, in these... conditions. It's quite brave.

Sebastien:So you must be David's girlfriend.

Stevie:No, I'm his landlord.

Sebastien:Oh, same thing.

David:No. No, it's really not.

Sebastien:So what do you say? Want to get out of here and go back to my place?

Stevie:Okay.

David:Okay?!

Sebastien:So brave. / So brave.

Sebastien:This cafe is so... unassertive. It's almost as if the lack of ambition is intentional. A bold statement about restraint.

Sebastien:Creativity requires movement. The body must be in motion for the mind to truly create.

Moira:I'll have a medium oat milk latte with an extra shot, please.

Alexis:I should be able to claim these as volunteer hours because I'm not getting paid.

Ted:Alexis, you literally just said you have a paid job.

Alexis:Yes, but I'm not being paid for the volunteering part.

Ted:That's not how any of this works.

Alexis:I have to do community service. It's court-ordered.

Alexis:I don't know if I'm really the right person to be teaching seniors how to dance.

Alexis:Like, what if they try to touch me?

Roland:Just act natural.

Johnny:I am acting natural.

Roland:No, you're not. You're doing that thing where you're being all stiff and weird.

Johnny:I'm not being stiff and weird.

Roland:You absolutely are. You're like a robot that just learned how to talk.

Roland:Johnny, I need you to cover for me. Tell Jazzagal I was with you last night.

Johnny:What do you want me to say we were doing?

Roland:I don't know, something boring. Say we went to get a haircut.

Johnny:A haircut? At night?

Roland:Yeah, a 9 PM haircut appointment. Very exclusive. The barber only sees clients after dark.

Johnny:Roland, I promised I'd help you stay away from poker tonight.

Roland:That's right, John. I need to focus on my family.

Bob:We're starting a game in the back room if you want in.

Johnny:I'm in.

Roland:Johnny, I've been running this scheme for three weeks and you haven't noticed a thing!

Johnny:What scheme?

Roland:Exactly!

Moira:A motel? Sebastien, that's hardly the behavior of a man who frequents cafés.

Sebastien:It's just a room.

Moira:It's renegade behavior, darling. That's what it is.

Moira:Well, of course they have a room. People recognize us.

Moira:Wait. He got a room? Just like that?

Moira:How did he get a room so easily?

Moira:This wasn't supposed to be an overnight visit.

Moira:I'm not camera-ready. I haven't had my morning coffee, I haven't done my hair, I haven't applied my makeup, I haven't chosen my outfit, and frankly, I'm not in the headspace to be memorialized in this moment.

Sebastien:It's terrifying and important. Like a Diane Arbus photograph, but with more... corn.

Sebastien:The desolation is almost transcendent. One could weep at the sheer banality of the pastoral.

Sebastien:I need you to connect with the field. Feel the earth beneath you. You are not just standing in a field—you are becoming the field.

Moira:I'm sorry, what?

Sebastien:The field, Moira. Become one with it. Let it consume you.

Moira:I think what's happening here is that you've confused directing with a spiritual awakening, and I'm not interested in either.

Moira:He took some picturettes.

David:Mom, you can't just pose for every photograph. You need to think about your image.

Moira:Well, perhaps if you spent less time criticizing and more time leaning in, you'd understand the art of the photograph.

Ted:Dot apparently brought cleaning supplies to dance class.

Alexis:That's so Dot.

Alexis:There's like, barely any of them left.

Ted:Well, yeah, they're seniors, so...

Alexis:Oh my God, they don't smell like old people! They smell like... normal!

Alexis:Is she giving me the finger?

Ted:Yes, she is.

Alexis:Is Dot's arthritis acting up?

Ted:No, she's just giving you the finger.

Bob:Roland, you lost again.

Roland:Lost? I had a great hand! I had two pairs!

Johnny:Roland, two pair doesn't beat a straight.

Roland:Well, I didn't know we were keeping score.

Roland:You know, I've been playing poker for thirty years. I know all the hands.

Johnny:Oh really? Name them.

Roland:Well, there's a Royal Flush, a Straight Flush, Four of a Kind, Full House, Flush, Straight, Three of a Kind, Two Pair, One Pair, and High Card.

Johnny:That's actually correct.

Roland:I know. And the best part is, I always play with my money on top of my cards so nobody can see what I have.

Johnny:That's not... Roland, that defeats the entire purpose.

Roland:You know, Bob, running a laundromat is a lot like my business ventures. We're both taking people to the cleaners!

Bob:Roland, that's not... that's literally what a laundromat does.

Roland:Exactly! We're the same, you and I.

Johnny:I lost my watch to gambling.

Johnny:We should probably get Gwen out of the room.

Roland:I'll kill her.

Johnny:I'm lactose intolerant.

Roland:Oh, I'm gluten-free.

Roland:And I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

Bob:Well, this is gonna be fun!

Johnny:No, Roland, you can't drive.

Roland:Why not?

Johnny:Because you don't have a license.

Roland:I have a license.

Johnny:Not a valid one. Also, you've been drinking.

Roland:So?

Johnny:So you're drunk, Roland. You're very drunk.

Sebastien:They're quite haunting, actually.

David:I'm sure Moira would be thrilled to hear that her photos are haunting. That's exactly the vibe she's going for.

Sebastien:David, I want to apologize. I realize that my actions may have triggered some unresolved trauma patterns within your psyche, and I'm here to hold space for your feelings while also acknowledging my own emotional journey through this experience.

David:That's not an apology.

Sebastien:I'm hearing that you're not ready to receive my vulnerable authenticity right now, and I respect that boundary.

Moira:Well, Alexis has had quite the journey with engagements, hasn't she?

Joan:Yes, well, at this point I've lost count.

Moira:It's practically a hobby.

Alexis:So what's going on with Ted and your granddaughter?

Joan:Well, he's not interested.

Alexis:Why not?

Joan:Because he's gay, dear.

Alexis:We're just friends, Mom.

Joan:Well, that's what your father and I have, and we've been married for forty years.

Alexis:Do you want to dance with me?

Dot:I'd rather spend the evening with my mop and bucket.

Johnny:Well, I have a theory that all men cheat.

Bob:I don't cheat.

Johnny:Well, that's what they all say.

Bob:No, I really don't. I don't need to cheat. I'm married to my best friend.

Bob:Roland, your tell is that you always fold when you have a good hand.

Roland:That's because I don't know the rules.

Moira:Sebastien, darling, I appreciate your passion, but what you're describing isn't artistic vision—it's gaslighting with a French accent.

David:I have Sebastien's memory card. All of his photos are on here.

Patrick:That's great! What happened to the originals?

David:Well, the first copy got destroyed when I spilled wine on my laptop.

David:The second copy was in a folder that blew out of my car on the highway.

David:And the third copy was... I may have sat on it.

Patrick:You sat on it?

David:It was in a chair. I didn't know it was there.

Moira:Thank you for protecting me.

David:Well, I got to destroy my ex and help my mother. It's a win-win.

Johnny:Wait, is that my watch?

Bob:Yeah, you lost it to me in poker last week. You don't remember?

Johnny:I... no. How much was I down?

Bob:About three hundred. You said 'I'll put my watch against a hundred bucks.'

Johnny:Bob, that's a vintage Rolex.

Bob:Well, you shouldn't have bet it then.