The One That Could Have Been (Part 2)

Oh. Wow! Huh.

Boy! Well, someone's been doing their homework.

Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so...

Oh umm, y'know I think it would be better if we just save it.

Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that.

What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea!

No, the doctors say it may kill her.

Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!!

Oh, I probably shouldn't? so I will!

But if you're thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldn't get sucked up into the mechanism, well you'd be wrong.

God y'know, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani's apartment...

Yeah, life's pretty great isn't it?

They have parasites?

What people?

Y'know, it's funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases...

I can't promise anything.

How hot is this?!

Here's some little known facts about cous-cous. They didn't add the second cous until 1979.

All right relax Mr. I've Had Sex Four Times!

Four different women! I've had sex way more times!

Hey that's what I tell girls about me.

Do you wanna do it with me?

Okay.

I was kidding. So was I.

Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.

I just fell right off the couch there.

Wow! I can't, I can't feel my hands.

Yeah but see I have nothing to compare it too. So even if you're horrible, how would I know?

Well, if it helps there were only three.

Umm, do you have any uhh, moves?

That's the couch.

I'll tell you something, we are gonna do that again!

Oh God I can't believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!

That's ridiculous! I'm not a 'Star,' just a regular famous actor.

Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?!

Sure! As long as they don't find out you can keep whatever you want!

But I thought that ring stood for Caprice's undying love for her brother.

Look, do you want the ring or not?!

Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carol's great and I'm sure you're a very attractive man, but I...

Just okay? Did you do it right?!

Look, it's just did, did you ever go to a party and think, 'Would really anyone miss me if I weren't here?'

But still Ross, you're worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Y'know what I mean?

Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.

No, she kept kicking me away!

Yeah. I made a snack.

Yeah? What did ya have? Just a sandwich. Turkey, a little mustard...

Sounds good. It really was!

Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!

Hey, check me out, I'm a slut!

Can the doctor see me now?

Y'know, I don't have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical.

Oh that's right! I'm sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!!

Call security. Pheebs, didn't you get fired?

He should do his research, huh?

So this doesn't count? Anyway, I'll be in my office.

That's all right, I'll work here. This is good, next to this plant.

Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake...

You lost 13 million dollars.

Oh, so this is all about money! Y'know it's bad enough that..

I'm having another heart attack!! Call 9-1-1!!

Dumbass!

Well, they fired me and I'm having heart attack.

Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that I'm looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!

Me? I'm great! I'm fine! I'm sooo good!! But, you know who's not great?! Men!

And why is it that the second we tell you we're going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbor's dog walker?!

Aw what are you?! A detective?

There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!

Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is gay.

She's gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I can't believe this.

I guess women aren't that great either. Try telling my wife that.

I'm the ruptured spleen.

I guess I'm not technically a 'doctor...'

There was just one woman, wasn't there? No, there were two. Including me? Oh yeah.

It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see... One of them won't do it, but the second one will set you free...

And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die!