The M.V.P.

What time did you need me to show up to watch you play the baseball?

Can you play both parts? / Positions. And, no.

Well on the upside, there is an Isabelle Huppert double feature playing at the Elmdale Art House.

We just need a body! / Then go to the morgue.

I will cover you if any flies come your way. / I have a spray for that.

Given today's political climate, we don't need to divide ourselves any more than we already have.

How many of the questions are about the barbecue? / Most of them.

I don't do well with running.

I can't stomach the thought of Patrick's team winning by default; the man looks like a thumb!

There were seven of us, surprisingly, not a big turn-out, but uh, the Flying Latkes ended up in fourth place.

For one thing, the war is over. Ohhh!

The Rabbi used to call me 'Popeye'.

I'm gonna put everything I got on the other team.

I did have a cousin who was in 'Riverdance' until she got trampled.

Yeah, um, I was one of the original Pussycat Dolls, But I only lasted like, two weeks. Because apparently, I'm 'too pretty'.

I don't. / Fine, 'artist'.

I can't think of anything worse than standing on a stage in front of a room full of people.

If this is anything like my first day with the Pussycat Dolls, it'll be a couple of hours of Kegels, and then an afternoon of cheeky Bellinis.

Just like Nicole Scherzinger did for me.

Not now, not yet.

And I want to start the day with my lupanarian Kit Kat Girls!

Missing cues already. No, I'm-I'm simply here to inspire.

You're wondering, are we really going to lay this colossal enterprise upon her tiny shoulders? Yes!

I'm a 100% confident that you will all soon see what I hope I believe I may be seeing in you, Stevie.

Oh, fuck.

This glove is brown. My shoes are black. What exactly are we doing here?

Well, David holds the Little League record for most times hit by a ball. That's assuming it wasn't intentional.

I just wish I'd kept that helmet I got you.

They let me go home early.

Does this come in black?

Once... Upon... A... Nightmare... My... Captor... Was... Dismembering...

I'm just flowing with your energy, Stevie. Which is good, but... you may require a little scordatura.

One, two. One, two. Two. Two... two, two.

I'm just wondering when the Bellinis are coming out?

Okay, next time, can you make sure the ball goes into my glove? Thanks so much.

Nobody's gonna call you Popeye.

There are no sons in baseball!

I'd argue most baseball players are somebody's son.

It's like when we used to play the Catholic kids from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. The worst school cheer I ever heard.

It's like when we used to play the Catholic kids from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. The worst school cheer I ever heard.

I'm wearing my maroon plaid hoodie. And I'm feeling... very uncomfortable.

There's that razor sharp wit that landed you the role.

Okay, but we've chatted 30 seconds already, so we'll call it a company four-and-a-half.

If only we needed to fill the role of a Dictaphone!

You should've seen the conditioning Rocky put me through. Our first day consisted of mud runs, and sob therapy!

Okay, I don't know who this is, but can we put him back in the box?

There's basically nobody out there, Nobody's gonna catch it, go ahead.

Is-is there a bell I could ring?

A firefighter with back pain?

Oh, I actually forgot what I was supposed to do up here!

Why? It's the only part of this stupid game that I'm actually good at.

I tipped it that one time, you even admitted that!

David Rose, hit the ball!

The next time I need a sub, remind me to ask the blind goat over at Mrs. Divine's farm.

Well, luckily for me, I had a side bet on whether Johnny would throw the game in his kid's favour. I consider it a split.

When you get hit in the back playing a game you never wanted to play in the first place, does that make you the VIP?

The MVP, and uh, no, we're not doing that.

Yeah, it was mainly because I was smelling the barbeque.