Maid Of Honour

John, it's practically obsidian in here! / You just said close the curtains!

I don't remember any of this...?

It's halted. Someone hit resume. - Just let it buffer.

Oh, this is a no way an optimal viewing experience.

Like think of all the people on the planet who find someone, somehow you're one of those people.

I mean, you didn't end up marrying JC Chasez or Jenna Elfman. But I actually feel like Patrick is kind of the best of both of them.

Well, if it isn't our very own little JC Chasez.

If you say Ronnie... - Oh, I don't think she would have said yes. - Does not like him.

David, you better be talking about Stevie Nicks.

Fine. But I don't want any hurt feelings. Because the last thing we need right now is interpersonal conflict eclipsing my... our day.

Imagine what I could do with your bachelor party, David. Diplo still sends me nudes.

Who am I, you buying your car?

If we're gonna split it up, I call the money.

I left a pack of chewing gum at the movie theatre two weeks ago, and I haven't gone back for it.

It's called global warming, Johnny.

Or gal. This is the 21st century, Johnny.

Thanks in large part to the thaumaturgy of our special effects department.

Credit the technical wizardry of our team of imaginators.

What a human beak can do?

though the adulation does appear to be unanimous.

Well... it looked just like a real movie.

Now there is the quote for the sizzle reel!

My uncle had a parrot that just kept asking me to take my bra off.

You do know that 'Pan Am' was cancelled after a season, right?

So how safe can the plane be if I'm the one in charge of saving people's lives?

Did you know that Larry Air has 18 ongoing lawsuits? One of which is from Larry himself.

How honest do you want us to be?

Do you realize that this soda is made with 99% real drink. You can't argue with that kind of math.

Your sexist instincts were right as usual.

Just the look in your eyes sent a chilling, wet gust of raspberries to my face.

Not 'The Love Guru'?

I once hooked up with three different GQ Men of the Year. At the GQ Men of the Year party.

I once planned Megan Fox's bachelorette on this tiny island off the coast of Montenegro where nothing is illegal. Like nothing.

Oh my God, Stevie. I get why you and everyone else would be asking that question, but the answer is... like maybe?

I'm now unemployed in my thirties. For the second time in a week.

Oh my God. Since when did James Bond shop at Elm Glenn?

And by the way, whatever you're doing is A-okay with me. But unfortunately Professor Prude here is not too keen on 'squatters.'

Or gals. - No, never women.

Good job, Roland. - You're a professional, Roland.

From the first ominous syllable of the narrator's tale, one can feel the hair on one's arms standing at affrighted attention.

One even tried to mate.

I think it would be a weird look for me to be a flower girl at my age, David.

Like come out first, wearing a gown made entirely of flowers... and loop back... and then quick outfit change, and we're up.