Due to the gang's latest "business expenses," Paddy's is in dire need of money. Frank buys a billboard to advertise the bar, but Dee decides to create a viral video to post on YouTube for promotion. Charlie quickly joins her, leaving Frank and Mac to hold a contest for some hot models to feature on the billboard. Naturally, Dennis joins the competition to prove his worth.
WAR
61.1
Wins Above Replacement
“America’s Next Top Paddy’s Billboard Model Contest” ranks #55 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.1 — Elite. The episode packs 63 scored jokes at 2.3 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Dennis landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dee · Mac · Dennis: I would volunteer to be the girl on the billboard, and then you guys would talk about how ugly you think I am, and compare me to some sort of giant bird. You look so much like a bird. Dennis, I was thinking fish recently.
Dee Mac Dennis Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dennis: My nose was chiseled by the gods themselves, Frank. My body was sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo's David.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Fan: Yeah, you that, that girl, PatheticGirl43. I almost didn't recognize you in that getup, but I recognize that whiny voice anywhere.
Fan Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Charlie: S you in your As, don't wear Cs, and J all over your Bs.
Charlie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: 2003 Dennis, okay, he was Grade-A prime beefcake. No one is disputing that. He was a stallion. But 2008 Dennis is in decline.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 63 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Frank · Mac: Who spent $500 for laser hair removal? Right over here, slick. Don't want to have hair down there. You know what I'm saying?
Frank Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Frank · Mac: Who spent $5,000 for a samurai sword? Your head of security. Yeah. Just wait till he saves your life one day with it.
Charlie: I'm going to put them on YouTube. That way, I can get discovered by, like, a casting director or a producer, get some kind of a TV development deal.
Charlie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Charlie: we write on the billboard 'We have two-for-one drink specials on Thursdays.' And, on the bottom, you have a hilarious picture of Green Man kicking someone in the nuts.
Charlie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dennis: It is really astonishing how bad your idea is. Go sit down. The adults are working.
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Frank: It's Advertising 101: long legs, taut breasts and tight poopers.
Frank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dee · Mac · Dennis: I would volunteer to be the girl on the billboard, and then you guys would talk about how ugly you think I am, and compare me to some sort of giant bird. You look so much like a bird. Dennis, I was thinking fish recently.
Dee Mac Dennis Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Mac · Dennis: Dennis, I was thinking fish recently. / Really? / Yeah. Her eyes are so far apart, they're like they're on...
Charlie: S you in your As, don't wear Cs, and J all over your Bs.
Charlie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac · Dennis: Why would he not want a C...? I don't even know what he's talking about half the time, bro
Frank: two gorgeous girls up there, giant cans, me in the middle with my thumbs up.
Frank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dennis: Don't flatter yourself. You're not going to be up there because I'm going to be the face of Paddy's Bar.
Dennis · Frank: You're... ugly. What? Ugly? I'm ugly? With that anteater nose, you're telling me I'm ugly.
Dennis: My nose was chiseled by the gods themselves, Frank. My body was sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo's David.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dennis: You, on the other hand, well... you're a pit of despair. Frank, you disgust me. You disgust everyone.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dee: Good morning, Philadelphia! I'm Crazy Paddy, and I'm coming to you from Paddy's Pub
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Charlie: That's not what YouTube videos are like. That's like a bad late-night commercial you'd see, like, on the cable network
Charlie Observational Character Comedy Charlie · Dee: Charlie hits Dee in the face with volleyball during her commercial
Charlie: People getting injured or seriously hurt-- that's funny!
Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Charlie · Dee: You ever see those girls mashing the grapes, and then slips and she's, like...? / Why did you do that, Charlie? / That's what YouTube video is. That's funny?
Dee · Charlie: I can't concentrate when I'm about to get blasted in the face with a ball. I'll blast you all over if you flinch again.
Mac: Bro, can you believe how many hot chicks showed up for a casting call for a billboard? How have we not done this before?
Dennis: Dennis Reynolds, 40 feet tall and shirtless. It's going to be so perfect!
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Frank: I went on a stud hunt. I came back with beefcake.
Frank Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Dennis: I don't think he has a point. I'm a stallion.
Dennis Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Mac: 2003 Dennis, okay, he was Grade-A prime beefcake. No one is disputing that. He was a stallion. But 2008 Dennis is in decline.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac: I bet if you pop those pants off, you're gonna find a bird that just won't quit either. I think the problem here is that your body quit. Your bird quit.
Mac Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Mac: Attention, ladies, I'm gonna need all the A cups to please head for the back door.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee: Her name's Martina Martinez, and she is a streetwise Puerto Rican girl who's always quick with a sassy comeback.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee: Youse a bunch of white boys, right? When you be in the clubs and you be dancing, why you look so stupid?
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Model · Dennis: What's the pay? The pay, sir, is getting your face 40 feet up on a billboard. So there's no pay then?
Dennis: Competitions like this aren't about money. They're about fame. They are about putting yourself on display to the world and saying, 'I'm good enough because I beat everyone else'
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Frank: The first competition is the underwear competition. Boom!
Frank Character Comedy Visual Gag Dee: You kept hitting me over and over in the same spot with a volleyball. And I was explicitly clear: no more Green Man.
Dee Character Comedy Escalation Callback Charlie: You're nothing without Green Man.
Dee: Hey, diary. It's me. It's Thursday, September 30th about midnight. I'm alone, of course, again. And I just had a little bit too much ice cream.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Mac: You get a whole bunch of them together, you make them compete over you, bing-bang-boom, soulmate.
Mac Character Comedy Absurdist Dennis · Frank: What the hell, bro? Is this supposed to be dirt? It smells like shit. It is shit. This is a barnyard.
Dennis · Frank: What the hell, bro? Is this supposed to be dirt? It smells like shit. / It is shit. This is a barnyard.
Dennis · Rex: Rex, are you kidding me? Seriously, are you just gonna step right in it? I want to win, bro. Billboard.
Dee: okay. This is Taiwan Tammy. She on runway and do a drag queen in nails.
Charlie · Dee: Are you kidding me? That is extremely racist. / Isn't it awesome? I'm so excited about this one.
Dee: This is Taiwan Tammy. She on runway and do a drag queen in nails.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee: Goddamn it! I knew it! Charlie, what are you doing? I said no Green Man!
Dee Escalation Physical/Slapstick Callback Fan: Yeah, you that, that girl, PatheticGirl43. I almost didn't recognize you in that getup, but I recognize that whiny voice anywhere.
Fan Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dee: In other news, it seems like I have a rash in a place where a sexually active person should have a rash.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee · Charlie: Oh, my God, you put that on YouTube? 80,000 hits. That's huge!
Mac · Anya: Anya, so they are in fact, double Ds. That's great news. Why should I pick you over the other girls? I'm willing to do anything in order to win.
Mac Anya Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Anya · Mac: I'm willing to do anything in order to win. / You're talking about banging me, right? / Maybe. / If you say yes... / Yes.
Mac · Rochelle: I feel like there's vibing happening right now. Yeah. I feel like we're completing each other's... sentences. I was gonna say sentences!
Frank: Rex, that is a sexy jaguar. I mean, that jaguar is fierce! I've never been turned on by a jaguar before.
Frank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Frank · Dennis: Dennis, your mule is shit. I'm no longer turned on by mules. You gave Rex jaguar! There aren't jaguars in barns.
Dennis: Jesus Christ, Frank. I got burns! Nobody's gonna throw detergent in my eyeballs on a runway, Frank!
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation Frank · Rex: Jesus, Rex, I didn't tell you to start eating yet. That doesn't disqualify me, does it?
Dee: Listen, today was the worst day ever. I had an audition, and I didn't get the part, which is really, really strange for me.
Dee Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Dee · Dennis: PatheticGirl43 here coming to you live with Philadelphia's next hot model Dennis Reynolds. Dennis, tell us what it's like to be so handsome.
Dee Dennis Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Callback Dennis: Well, I like to think I've been this handsome since birth, possibly even earlier.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mac: Rochelle, you taught me about love, respect, inner beauty. Dominique, you banged me, like, right away. Tabitha, you did the same. But most importantly, you banged each other. And you let me watch.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac: What? I had two of them. I had another one here. I tricked you. I got both of you guys.
Mac: A top of the morning to both of you! I had two of them. I had another one here. I tricked you.
Mac Character Comedy Misdirection Rochelle · Mac: You just said that I taught you about inner beauty and respect. Yeah, but this whole thing's about banging, and you didn't bang me, so... You're a dick!
Dennis: It's a YouTube video that me, Dee and Charlie just made that's gonna get a million hits. So guess what, pal. Don't need your billboard. I'm going viral.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Frank · Dennis · Rex: I put it up right after you called me ugly. There's no billboard? Oh, yeah, sorry about that, Rex.
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