The Olive Branch

And, there she is! Hot off the presses! Alexis Rose. Why is there a line through it? Oh, toner must be low.

This certificate reminds me of the one you were awarded for getting your braces off. Now that was a grand day.

Yes, except my orthodontist had a slightly better printer.

I'm sorry, did David spend four months earning a degree?

Pubic relations. - What? - No. - Oh my god, give me that!

Is it though, do you think?

So you're wearing a leather sweater, in the dead of summer.

Okay, I just wanted to make sure that I was ready, ready.

So you waiting a full week to forgive him has nothing to do with the fact that he showered you with gifts and attention every day. That is purely coincidental!

Yeah, I think it's that, uh, and I think it's the fact that you've been a smidge needy this past week? - Hmm. - Maybe needy's the wrong word. - Hmm. - Clingy?

And I am very excited to not, not be with him anymore.

That said, if a package does arrive, please keep it safe.

And what, pray tell, might this collection of words be?

Wow! Now, don't get me wrong, there is no High-Street beret that I would rather have thrown in my ring, but, I have a funny feeling Council already has its favourite.

Darling, I realize the pickings are slim in this rural spanandry, but you can't ask Council to misuse public funds just so that you can find yourself a new boy toy.

As the Irish like to say, it's a cinch to mash the Murphy where there's love.

Well, this is the second month. I won it last month, took myself out for lunch.

I'm kidding. It's a little incentive for a job well done.

It's like a briefcase full of makeup.

Aren't you forgetting something? - Uh, I just... just don't know how to thank you. - Oh, that smile on your face is all I need.

In fact, by saying nothing at all, you... you spoke volumes.

After a glud of unasinous ideas put forth today, the room is suddenly bombilating with anticipation.

good luck on getting your mitts on a Von Schlegell! Am I right, guys?

Now, if an idea as simple as that can work for a people as infamously disorganized as the Scotch, surely we can aspire to something of equal scale.

Single people is what this town needs! Loose wallets, loose inhibitions, everything's just really loose.

And a few pages of temporary letterhead. And um, a list of Buzzfeed's most motivational quotes for girl bosses under 30.

Did someone mention the posture thing? - What? - What is the utility shirts?

Like he built David a basketball court for his Bar Mitzvah. - Oh boy, okay. - Mm hmm. And unfortunately, the only way to like, train it out of him, is to show him just how wrong the gift is.

Like, David forced us to watch him shoot at a basket for 10 minutes, until the ball hit the rim, and then bounced back in his face.

But it actually worked out perfectly, because all David really wanted for his Bar Mitzvah, was a nose job.

Oh, and also, he gave me a diamond tennis bracelet for my Sweet 16. - That's bad. - I know.

I've never been in this situation before. Where someone's been so nice... to me. And generous.

So upset, that I barely finished the chocolates.

I just, I guess, didn't know, how many olive branches you were planning on extending. - Ideally, one!

I was lying about the chocolates, I ate them all.

Um, while you're at lunch, can you get me some lunch?

You know what the great thing about this is? Right after work, I can do go a quick shift over at Bazonga's Gentleman's Lounge.

I'm getting flashbacks of David attempting a 3-pointer.

Sorry, so like, a singles event, then? - That word is now considered derogatory. I believe they prefer to be called independents.

So you stole my idea, took it to Council, and claimed it as your own? - Alexis, now is not the time for pettifogging!

Well then, I took your little germ of an idea, and I fertilized it to fruition.

Starting to get keyed up about this prospect of a mother-daughter power team. Modern day Judy and Lorna.

I don't know who that is. - Oh my god.

Consider this my olive branch.

You know people can see you, right?