Allez Vous

She can be an angry drunk, but we were always close.

That frigid whore!

Well, apparently you can win an Audi. / What colour?

don't believe everything you read, dear, please.

Where does a 92-year-old woman need to go?!

I don't know, John, perhaps the hospital?

I think you've gotta raise that masculinity bar just... just a little.

Lawnmower exchange with Roland not hearing

well, what can I do for you, you 'dumb son of a...'?

Roland's increasingly demanding truck conditions

I guess your 'imaginary friend' uses wiper fluid, right?

No, it isn't! She didn't finish high school.

Look at the work she's had done, it's grotesque.

Okay, where are the tips and tricks? We've been watching this for five minutes, she's talking in circles!

Because it's a scam! / But if your father's willing to go out there and sell his soul...

Okay, we're going to have a luncheon. / A luncheon?

First day of a cleanse, so she's a little whoo!

There's broken glass? / No, there is not broken glass in it

I do not like what this cleanse is doing to your brain. / You're being very rude!

Ain't she a beaut? / Boy, is she ever, Bob.

a little peccadillo of mine when I'm buying a car, I like to experience the car one on one

driving down that highway of life / feelin' fine and feelin' sunny / going to pick me up some money

stop being so generous and nice! / You pinned somebody against a locker?!

He always said hi when he passed me in the halls, and for some reason, it bugged me.

Car breakdown with Johnny's escalating profanity

Okay, don't wanna tell me where we're going, interesting.

The unemployment office! / Jeez pal, your business is your business. I don't know why you're telling me!

The unemployment office! Okay? I'm applying for unemployment. Jeez pal, your business is your business. I don't know why you're telling me!

David staging the fake surprise at the cosmetics

Can you not just say no for one time, Ted?!

Now you get all decisive-y?

Alexis, you'd like this product. It's all about aging, and dry skin. Oh my God, ew, David!

There's something wrong with your face.

Get some money? / I need a cheque, preferably today. Ideally in the next few minutes

All my life. / And your reason for being out of work? / I sold my business, and I got screwed by my business manager.

I employed people, hundreds of people. / You see, and now I'm unemployed.

And, may I say, doing a fantastic job.

Get out! / I know someone here wants in on this exclusive opportunity!

Sorry, you're... you're an Allez Vous consultant? / I'm actually an executive area manager. / I'm a district manager. / I'm an executive district manager. / I gave up.

In two weeks we had sold everything to the other half of town, and vice versa. / That's... that's funny. / It became a bit incestuous, yeah, very small sales pool.

Marnie and I were, um, how shall I say it? 'Close friends' in high school. / Isn't that right, Marnie? / Marnie likes the bad boys.

Oh well, didn't he tell you about the job he was doing for me? / You didn't tell her? / Well, that's important information, Mr. Rose.

he was my assistant, he was like my little guy Friday. He would fetch things for me, I'd tell him where to go and he'd go running off

because of that whole 'cut the gravy' thing, so.

Hey... I come in peace. What's this? I don't know, it's a pre shave follicle mask or something, I took it from the pile of product that nobody bought.

You have to understand that you're the first nice guy that I've dated. / They don't like me? / No, they do! They do, they've just always seen nice as a sign of weakness

Say something super mean. / What, I can't just turn it on in an instant, like you can.

Well, and you, what about you? Are you just going to sit around all day, while I work and buy you dinners? You've gotta go out there and get a job... / Too far. / It's too far, okay.

Well um, one day, and that day may never come, I may call upon you to perform a function. / Marlon Brando! / Yes, but from what movie? / The Godfather. / No, it's the one where he's the big mafia guy. / The Godfather!

Well um, one day, and that day may never come, I may call upon you to perform a function. Marlon Brando! Yes, but from what movie? The Godfather. No, it's the one where he's the big mafia guy. The Godfather!

Why don't you just get me a little wiper fluid, and we'll call it even, okay? And also maybe a Kleenex caddy? I've always wanted one of those. That's funny! It is, but I'm not joking.

Oh Johnny, I told you not to take 'er on the highway. / Yeah, I'm sorry, Bob

I'll knock twenty bucks off. / You couldn't get twenty bucks for scrap! / All right, thirty bucks! / How about zero bucks?! / I wouldn't give you a dime for this! / Johnny, you're killing me here! / Fifty bucks!

I'll throw in a couple of floor mats, but that's my final offer! / Walking!