The Comeback Kid

Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.

You've resuscitated a human heart in your bare hands. No, I haven't. You haven't? No. You will. You're that good of a nurse.

Again? You just hired me eight seconds ago. Wow, you're doing a really bad job.

I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything.

Are most murders committed by highly-trained, professional assassins? No. They're committed by friends and co-workers.

That analogy was way better in my head.

His name is Champion, because he's the Dog World Champion.

He can do more with three legs than most dogs can do with four. Except for digging. He's really bad at digging.

So you just say the word and Champion goes back to the pound where he can be put down and killed forever.

Cruel, but fair.

Well, well, well. Look who's ahead of the curve. I was joking. You should soak that in bleach and burn it.

Shut up, Ann. I told you never to talk to me. That was Champion. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Bad dog.

I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

No. I find calzone fatty and unnecessary.

Ben is massively depressed. And he needs my help.

See? There's more things to look at on the Internet besides naked guys, Ann.

Do your carpets match your drapes?

Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.

No, that's Champion's spot. He called it.

Yeah. Champion is a way better kisser than you are, babe. He's even a better kisser than me.

Oh, look. The police even love it. They're sirening back to us.

The jitterbug, stagecoaches, Herman Munster.

Well, we have a philosophical difference on what constitutes a law.

My mother's butt.

He must dunk, Ann. Do whatever it takes. Yeah, anything short of sexual favors.

Although, I am a little offended that you wouldn't do that.

What about pizza? Pizza? Never heard of it.

Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.

The Low-Cal Calzone Zone.

That idea is literally the greatest idea I have ever heard in my life.

That idea is terrible.

And that girl, she tried to get that gimp dog to bite me.

You know that I'm going to pay all the fines. I'm in the middle of a campaign rally. And this is my team. I need them. Please.

Sometimes, life dunks you.

With my claymaish? With your life. You are wildly, insanely depressed.

Do you think a depressed person could make this?

He shall do it in the car.

In fact, I... I e-mailed Leslie two days ago and I compared it to Avatar, Chris.

It's not a basketball court anymore. It's an ice skating rink.

And, either way, it was his fault, because he was stupid and I hated him.

We had to Jetsons most of the poster, too.

Because windows are the eyes to the house.

Anyway, the important news is that he's here. Good. Is he going to dunk for me? I'm not sure. I couldn't hear through all the crying.

Oh, damn it, Jerry. You just had to do your job, didn't you?

I couldn't afford enough premium carpet to get us to the stage. I mean, it was a short walk, but it was pretty luxurious, right?

Babe! Are you okay? He is peeing. He is now peeing. Now, I'm putting him down.

Ron? Ron? There's no stairs. How do I get onto the stage?

Ugh! It tastes like a belt.

The Letters to Cleo T-shirt, the unshaven face, the Doc Martens... And your hair does not have that normal uptight, rigid, inflexible Ben Wyatt sense of fun.

Together, we can defeat obese children.

Well, I can assure you people in the bleachers that if you follow my campaign, it will be interesting.

Pistol Pete, everybody. Still got it.

This team has a lot of heart and zero know-how.

Oh! Don't make out. It's making Champion sad.

You're not married. She's not married.

This is uncomfortable.