Stan Sitwell

Stan Sitwell · Michael · GOB:Stan Sitwell reading the dessert menu to Lucille 2: 'An assortment of ice creams and sorbets.' / 'You all right with him reading to your girl?' / 'Not my girl.'

Stan Sitwell · Michael:Stan Sitwell at the auction bids on Sally. Michael says: 'You're not bidding? I was hoping you would.' Sitwell: 'You're a good kid. You always have been. Not like that showboat of a father of yours, if you don't mind me saying.' Michael: 'I've called him so much worse.'

Stan Sitwell:Sitwell: 'I need one. Mine got torched today.' — referring to why he needs the Corvette Michael just won. The car that was torched is the one GOB blew up.

Michael · Stan Sitwell · Sally:Michael bids $15,000 on Sally. Sally is stunned; Sitwell says: 'This puts a lot of pressure on me.' / 'It's for a good cause. I heard it was to reseed the greens.' / 'Gonna be a lot of shifts for you at the banana stand, huh?'

Michael · Stan Sitwell:Michael reveals he sold the Corvette to cover the bid — to Sally's father. 'My father can't drive a convertible.' / 'Mind if I open it up?' — and Sitwell immediately takes it for a joyride.

Michael · Stan Sitwell · Narrator:Michael at Sitwell's: 'This is not for her. It's for my son. Just don't tell her I came by.' — The narrator reveals Michael was actually talking to Sally's father the whole time.

Stan Sitwell:Stan Sitwell: 'I look like Edgar Winter. Forget it. I gotta get to spin class.'

Narrator · Stan Sitwell:Narrator: 'Lucille 2 showed up with Stan Sitwell, who did look a little like Edgar Winter.'

Stan Sitwell · Attendant:The body chocolate callback: the attendant offers body chocolate to each couple in succession. Stan Sitwell: 'No.'

Stan Sitwell · Lindsay:Lucille actually gave you less than her natural children. I hope that's not a crack about my hair color, lips, forehead, nose and teeth.

Lindsay · Stan Sitwell:Because at least I'm not wearing a rayon sweater set on my face. / It's alpaca actually. Cruelty-free. Really narrows your choices.

Lindsay · Stan Sitwell:Wait a minute. You're saying I'm adopted? / I'm sorry. I thought you knew. / Are you kidding me? This is the happiest I've been since the day I got my new nose.

Stan Sitwell · Lindsay:You were almost a Sitwell. But 37 years ago, the Bluths adopted you out from under us. So we said good-bye to you, our darling little three-year-old. / Wait, three-year-old? You said it was 37 years ago.

Stan Sitwell:Oh, yeah, right. Hey, we should do something for your 40th next week.

Michael · Stan Sitwell:Will you take the company for 20% above market? / Ten, and I'll take the company off your hands right now. / Fifteen and I'll throw in Nellie. / She's 40. / Twelve.

Stan Sitwell:Stan Sitwell's alopecia disclosure: 'I also lost a perfectly good pair of human chest hair nipple tufts when we hit the water.'

Stan Sitwell · Narrator:Narrator explains alopecia renders Stan hairless — then Stan asks 'That's kelp; why would I put it onto my chest or head or anywhere else?'

George Sr. · Stan Sitwell:George Sr. stumbles into Sitwell's office and finds a giant monument — Sitwell screams 'Ow, my hair! My beautiful hair!'

George Sr. · Stan Sitwell:'This isn't what it looks like! / Oh, really? Because it looks like a monument to George W. Bush. / Well, you got me.'

Stan Sitwell:'It's a wall, George; you're looking at it sideways.'

Narrator · Maeby · Stan Sitwell:But whom Maeby did not. [Recognition of Stan Sitwell] Hello.

Stan Sitwell · Oscar · Buster:Oscar and Buster encounter Stan Sitwell in the hospital — Stan immediately says 'Please don't hurt me.'

Buster · Stan Sitwell · Oscar:Could we stay at your place? / You're taking me as a hostage in case the cops see us? / Hey, guy, I wouldn't know about that. / We can pretend we're cousins.