Borderline Personalities

George Sr. · CEOs:CEOs in the sweat lodge hallucinating and collectively deciding to kill an iguana — only for George Sr. to clarify 'I'm not an iguana'

George Sr. · CEOs:'Anybody hallucinating yet? / Did anybody else hear that iguana speak?' — crowd enthusiasm before murder attempt

George Sr.:George Sr. calls himself 'Father B.' and introduces the 'teaching pitcher' as a spiritual authority object — while clearly just pitching lemonade

George Sr. · Heartfire:Heartfire is introduced as silent — 'She needs no words to communicate to you' — immediately followed by 'Boundless power to you, too, Heartfire'

George Sr. · Daniels:George Sr. pours lemonade in the dirt while a CEO (Daniels) breaks down — 'Ah, come on, Daniels! You ran Bear Stearns, for God's sake!'

Narrator:Narrator: 'Actually, George Sr. had come to the desert to escape questions'

George Sr. · Oscar:George Sr. dupes Oscar into taking his place at the Queen Mary party — 'You gave me up, George. / George? I'm not George.'

Barry's son · Narrator:Barry Zuckerkorn's son proposes they become a 'No Liability Corporation' — 'an NLC'

Barry Zuckerkorn:'Take to the sea! Three miles out, and it's a free-for-all! No rules, pirate radio laws.'

Lucille Bluth · Barry Zuckerkorn:'Yeah, because they don't have to be together, because you can't try a husband and wife for the same crime, right? / Sure.'

Lucille Bluth:'We have the best attorneys.'

Michael · George Sr.:Michael: 'You're afraid she'll turn on you.' George Sr.: 'Won't even leave the table during a dinner party.'

Michael Bluth:'She's fine. You're lucky we didn't have an autumn, otherwise she'd be colder.'

Lucille Bluth:'Look what they've done, George! Look what the homosexuals have done to me. A joyride.'

Barry Zuckerkorn · George Sr.:Barry's suit joke: 'He's trying to dazzle them with a suit of his own. / Well, he hated the suit. Thought I was making fun.'

George Sr. · Barry Zuckerkorn:George Jr. says the best alibi he has for the Queen Mary piracy is 'A joyride. That's what they decide to do with the freedom this country has given them.'

Barry Zuckerkorn · George Sr.:Barry delivers 'good news/bad news' — then admits it's all bad news from George's perspective

Barry Zuckerkorn:'...maritime law, which, I just found out, is an actual thing. It's a real thing.'

Stan Sitwell:Stan Sitwell's alopecia disclosure: 'I also lost a perfectly good pair of human chest hair nipple tufts when we hit the water.'

Stan Sitwell · Narrator:Narrator explains alopecia renders Stan hairless — then Stan asks 'That's kelp; why would I put it onto my chest or head or anywhere else?'

Narrator:Halliburton Teen — narrator reveals Halliburton rebranded as a youth lifestyle retailer

Narrator:Narrator: 'It's also how their deep-water drilling enterprise spawned this company.' [showing Halliburton Teen graphic]

George Sr. · Stan Sitwell:George Sr. stumbles into Sitwell's office and finds a giant monument — Sitwell screams 'Ow, my hair! My beautiful hair!'

George Sr. · Stan Sitwell:'This isn't what it looks like! / Oh, really? Because it looks like a monument to George W. Bush. / Well, you got me.'

George Sr.:'Ah — this explains the immigration booth 10,000 feet in the air.'

Stan Sitwell:'It's a wall, George; you're looking at it sideways.'

George Sr.:'Bluth for two — I mean, one.'

Oscar Bluth · George Sr.:Oscar appears and invites George to eat mahimahi — 'Will you have a mahimahi on me? / On you.'

Oscar Bluth · Heartfire:Heartfire communicates silently — Oscar says 'Heartfire would like some more crackers'

Dr. Norman:Dr. Norman: 'The bigger crime would've been the patient didn't wake up and testify against me. But nobody cares about the part of the oath he kept.'

Dr. Norman · Prison pen pal:Norman's prison pen pal letters from a woman who supports him — her letter defending him in broken English: 'If he as bad as the state of California say he is, then why did I fall in love with him, huh? Yo, [bleep] the state of California!'

Narrator:Narrator: 'As you can imagine, her letters really stood out.'

George Sr. · Dr. Norman (or Oscar):'Do you know China Garden? / I know the downtown one.'

George Sr. · Oscar Bluth:George: 'I envy that.' / Oscar: 'You're welcome to my friends, brother.' / George: 'I don't want these.'

Oscar Bluth · Heartfire:Oscar: 'Would you like to watch us make love?' — responding to George's surprise at living on the border

Oscar Bluth:Maca root legal status: legal to grow in Mexico but illegal to consume there; legal to consume in US but illegal to grow; can bring into Mexico but can't bring out

Oscar Bluth:'Oh, great. Now you're gonna make me cry. / Oh, lizard! Look! Look, a lizard! Cute!'

George Sr. · Narrator:George Sr.'s noble speech about being 'the best brother in Southern California' — Narrator: 'George Sr. was going to say, by gouging the government...' / 'but he'd save that for Lucille.'

George Sr. · Barry Zuckerkorn (or unnamed associate):'Can we use the same cameras from when he was under house arrest? / These are from the maritime penal system. They make us use the waterproof ones.'

George Sr. · Lucille Bluth:George's plan: buy land → sell to government for Sitwell's wall → take the cash → save Lucille — 'You're such a puny thinker. Am I puny-thinking again?'

George Sr. · Lucille Bluth:'And we build that sucker... / That's my Georgie! / ...five miles high. / Long. Five miles long.'

George Sr.:'I got nothing in my system but a maca root cookie.'

George Sr. · Lucille Bluth:'Sorry I gave you the old noodle stab in there.' / 'I needed something in my system.'

George Sr. · Michael Bluth:'We're getting a divorce.' / 'I want to know about the stimulus package.'

Lucille Bluth · Michael Bluth:'We haven't had sex since Christmas, Michael! / Uh... I'm... I'm sorry. / You had sex seven weeks ago?'

George Michael Bluth · George Sr. · Lucille Bluth:'They were remodeling my room, and I pulled my cot in there, just like camp. / We yelled at you to leave. / Yeah, but then you whispered, "Don't pull out!"'

John Beard:John Beard news anchor segment: 'I'm John Beard, and I'm a Gloomy Gus. I don't have a mustache.'

George Sr.:'No! I cannot live off of that! No, I already used that money as the down payment of six square miles of desert I cannot afford to make payments on!'

George Sr. · Dr. Norman:'Oh, God... sorry, Norman. / Huh? / Uh, nothing.'

Narrator · Lucille Bluth:Narrator: 'his wife was also confined to a smoke-filled room, having found a way around both the building's strict no-smoking policy... and the fact that her ankle monitor prevented her from approaching the balcony.'

Lucille:Visual gag: Lucille has found a way around the building's strict no-smoking policy AND her ankle monitor preventing her from approaching the balcony — implying she's using an elaborate contraption to smoke.

Lucille Bluth:Extended scene of Lucille telling a restaurant story to no one in particular — rambling, losing the thread: 'My food was gone, I could... That restaurant, typically, has a really nice maitre d'... Can't really remember the host's name, but he was kind of in his 60s...'

George Sr.:George Sr. in the sweat lodge: 'I'd give $10,000 for a glass of lemonade right now.'

George Sr.:George Sr.'s vision: 'Sweat... and squeeze.' — hallucination that becomes his entire business model

Narrator:Narrator: '...which is why this seat was empty at his wife's trial.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'George Sr. had been passed out for two days after having a vision... which is why this seat was empty at his wife's trial.'

George Sr.:'All right, this whole area here, this is going to be visitor yurts. Oh, and we're gonna need industrial-size juicers!'

Narrator:'He went to work on constructing a seminar, much of which he borrowed from his brief stint as a Jewish-y guru while in prison.'

Narrator · George Sr.:George Sr. gets ordained online to avoid taxes: 'he needed to be actually ordained as a religious preacher to avoid tax implications'

George Sr.:'And did you want the partial bush or broken gate view?' — selling real estate views at the spiritual retreat

George Sr.:Repeat of 'Ah, come on, Daniels! You ran Bear Stearns, for God's sake!' in the context of the seminar replay.

CEO · George Sr.:'Does it come with lemonade? / It comes with all the lemonade you can drink.'

Narrator:Narrator: '"Squeeze" had two meanings.'

Oscar Bluth:Oscar gets $50 for sitting in the sweat lodge — 'All I did was sit and sweat.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'which is why it seemed that Father B. was so resilient to the depleting effects of the sweat lodge' — because it was actually Oscar all along

Narrator:'While Oscar was bushed.'

George Sr. · Lucille Bluth:'Oh, God. / It's almost like adultery this way. / Good, I like that. / My wife doesn't understand me. / My angel.'

George Sr.:'I haven't had an orgasm outside of my bathtub in 30 years.'

Lucille Bluth:'Although, at times, I do wish it were darker.' — Lucille on their tryst location

Lucille Bluth · George Sr.:Lucille's maca root hallucination: 'Yesterday, I was talking to a lizard, and it turned into Elizabeth Taylor. / Young Elizabeth Taylor? / Uh-huh. / Yeah, I could use some maca.'

Lucille Bluth:'I don't know what's going on. For some reason I'm just getting Richard Burton today.'

Lucille Bluth · George Sr.:'Oh, my God, what's that? / That's the commode.'

George Sr. · Ostrich Spirit Man:Ostrich man in full regalia: 'You trespass on sacred ground. The spirits command me to warn you...' / George: 'Don't worry, he's probably from a local reservation. I'll take care of this. / How about you book me two nights for Ray Romano at your casino?'

George Sr.:George elaborates: 'And get us close to the front but not close enough that Ray talks to us.'

George Sr. · Ostrich Spirit:The spirit continues: 'The strong will become the weak, the weak will become the strong.' George Sr.: 'And get us close to the front but not close enough that Ray talks to us.'

George Sr.:'I don't know what you saw, but I got an ostrich and no boner.'

George Sr.:'Come on, guys, I looked the other way on the bottled water because you look thirsty, but you got to play along here.'

George Sr. · Barry Zuckerkorn:Barry drives a long distance to deliver bad news — George: 'Oh, this can't be good. I mean, you didn't drive all this distance for good news.'

Narrator · Lucille Austero:Lucille Austero: described as 'so pro-immigrant' — 'She'd even taken in a Latino foster child, which she denied was an attempt to bring in the Hispanic vote.'

Barry Zuckerkorn:Barry: 'If I can take no more than a law degree from the Virgin Islands... and turn it into a net worth of $750,000 — before, of course, what I owe in lawsuits — you can talk a politician into wasting public funds on a wall.'

George Sr.:'You're so ugly from behind.'

George Sr. · Barry Zuckerkorn:'Too bad you can't use a double. / Oh, also I used a look-alike named Stewart to take the California bar for me. But you knew that, right?'

Narrator · George Sr. · Oscar Bluth:Narrator: 'George, who was acting more like Oscar, finally found Oscar, who was acting more like George.'

Oscar Bluth:Oscar's complaint: 'I just can't go on pretending to be you, sitting silently in a 100-degree mud hut for an hour and a half. I am begging you — there has to be something else I can impersonate you doing.'

George Sr.:'It's funny you should say that because, uh, if you're okay with the sitting silently part, I have something for you that's quite chilling.'

Barry Zuckerkorn · Oscar Bluth:Barry mistakes Oscar (disguised as George) for George: 'I just pooped in a hole and covered it up. I hope I did the right thing.' / 'There's a commode.'

Oscar Bluth · Barry Zuckerkorn:'It's directly uphill from the maca root. / Yeah, I really feel bad for the guy that's got to dig that up for the foundation for the wall.'

Oscar Bluth:Oscar realizes George bought the land for personal gain, not brotherly love — reaction beat of silence and betrayal

Narrator:The on-screen graphic: 'We 12 publishes a rare retraction. Oscar confirms his suspicions of the wall while impersonating George Sr.'

Oscar · Barry Zuckerkorn:Oscar (as George) has a genuine realization: 'So we only did buy that land for personal gain.' Barry: 'Well, what Oscar doesn't know won't hurt him.' Pause. Barry: 'Oscar.'

Barry Zuckerkorn · Oscar Bluth:Barry mistakes Oscar for George during the wall scheme conversation — 'Very good, George. / We got to be careful where we talk about this.'

Barry Zuckerkorn:Barry: 'Have you baked your brain in that pizza oven, or is senility your backup plan if we can't get the government to buy the property?'

Oscar Bluth:Oscar realizes the truth — internal reaction beat as he processes that George used him — then plays along: 'I thought we... I thought we could talk about the wall. You know, the wall.'

Barry Zuckerkorn · Oscar Bluth:Barry: 'Well, what Oscar does-doesn't know won't hurt him. / Oscar.' — while talking to Oscar

Oscar Bluth · Lucille Bluth:Oscar meets Lucille while impersonating George — 'I love it when you call my name. / George! / Don't call me that. Call me Father B.'